• Member Since 18th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen 16 hours ago

GaryOak


Writing graduate who loves cartoon horses and all manner of silly things. Occasionally writes serious stories. A divine Swedish woman drew this avatar.

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Source

By Scootaloo's age, Rainbow Dash had won countless competitions. As Ponyville's Annual Bounceball Competition approaches, Scootaloo dreams of following in her hoofsteps. Equipped with unquenchable determination and drive, she knows nothing will stop her... except, perhaps, herself.

As seen on Equestria Daily.

Featured in The Royal Guard.

Edited by Horse Voice.

Thanks to R5h and Prak for helping with the revisions.

This story has been read and approved by Maddy "Scootaloo" Peters.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 39 )

I'm always quite pleased to read your stories. I'll be looking forward to giving this one a read.

2968762
Thank you! I do hope you like it.

Not bad, man. Not bad at all.

I quite enjoyed it.

~Skeeter The Lurker

While the formatting could use work, spacing wise. The rest is quiet well done and I can not resist a good Scootadash moment, especially one that could work in the show.

Though I have to ask, why didn't the doc use an anthestic spell for the op?

I love the doc's accent.

Isn't how he's using his magic to make it go all spirally and so neat?

Missing a word, methinks.

I liked the CMC shenanigans in the beginning.
The added depth for the contest is a major improvement in my opinion.
Only skimmed through the doctor section. It didn't hold my interest very well.

Still, better than I remember, iirc.

I have a small announcement regarding this story that I will be covering in depth when I return home on Wednesday. I had the audacity to print out a hard copy along with a personal cover letter to Maddy Peters and deliver it to her at Bronycon. Not only was she excited to receive a gift, despite it being a fanfiction, but she actually read it on Saturday night of the con. It took a lot of effort, but I managed to run into her on the Sunday after her press conference with Michelle Creber. She pulled me aside as her and the Crebers were returning to their hotel room. She told me she really enjoyed this story, and got really into it as she was reading it. She went on to say that she wanted to see me in print, and that I have a lot of writing talent. She then proceeded to thank me and hug me. It was one of the best experiences I've ever had as a writer. It's been nearly a day and I'm still almost speechless about this. I still can't believe I actually gave this story to Scootaloo's VA, and she really really liked it.
2968856
Thank you!
2977931
I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Scootadash is too cute to pass up; it's one of my favourite things in MLP for sure. Regarding anesthetic, you don't really get much in real operations. Remember, Panacea is an earth pony, so magic isn't an option here. Perhaps they have it in Canterlot, but not Ponyville, which is mostly an earth pony village. I asked my surgeon friend (who Panacea is based on) if the operation is roughly correct, and she said yes, right down to the treat being given to the child afterward. As for formatting, it's actually how you properly format a story. You either use extra spaces or indents to indicate new paragraphs. Most published books use the same formatting I do.
2978448
Thanks! The OC's owner, Miss v-invidia, talks like that on Skype most of the time.
2983391
I don't think so? I'll have to look at it again when I'm less sleepy. From here I believe it makes sense. "All spirally" and "so neat" are two items in a list.
2993671
Bronycon has ruined that word for me.

2995242

First *slow clap to a huge amount of clapping* AWESOME and congratulations on getting it read.

Second, I get where you are coming from now. I am just used to having anthestic being used I thought it would be. used here. I have had plenty of ear troubles in the past (though not as bad as Scoots) so I thought it would be. I also see the point about the formatting as well.

Great work all the same and congrats.

2995242

Ho. Lee. Smoke. :rainbowderp:

Try and remember what she said, because I'm sure I'm not the only one who is curious about her exact words.

A while back, just for fun, I made a list of different ponyfic Achievements. (Ex. "Published Author" - Get on Equestria Daily.) I never added "Have your story read by someone on the staff," because almost no one would get it.

And you just did.

I know we've been pals for a year, but when you get back, can I have your autograph? :raritywink:

Holy cow, congrats on getting Maddy Peters to read and enjoy your story! Huge props for having the guts to give it to her!

Also, great story, I also enjoyed it quite a bit :P

2999876>>2997286>>2995324
*bows*

Thank you! I still think it's my greatest moment as a writer. I have also revised the story, trimming about 1,500 words from it. Normally, this stuff happens completely behind the scenes, but I find myself a slave under the Pre-readers' yoke.

Wow, you wrote an amazing story, and if i had to write a slice of life fic i think i would have a better idea of how to write it.

This story also reminded me of the mistakes I've had in my life because i wanted to impress someone even over my own health, but have come to realize that it wasn't worth it in the end.

I thank you for writing such a great story for not only was it a great read for the sake of MLP, but it has also taught and reminded me of a lesson i should never forget.

I'm gonna read this story ten times to grasp everything this story could offer.

3335428
Thanks very much for the nice praise. I'm glad this story struck such a chord with you. I tried to make the life lesson something both adults and children could learn from. :twilightsmile:

“Are you all right, kid? Now that I think about it, you do sound a little hoarse...”

Bad pun... :facehoof:

Excellent story though. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It read like it could have been an actual episode even.
And having Scootaloo's voice actor herself read this... OMFG!!! EPIC!!! :pinkiehappy:

3340297
Not gonna lie, I squirmed with glee when I wrote that. I'm really glad you liked the story! I couldn't believe it when Maddy not only agreed to read it when I gave it to her at Bronycon, but finding out she did read it on the Saturday night and loved it. I still can't really believe it happened. Thanks for reading!

Ah. That was an extremely satisfying read, Gary. I'm always incredulous that your stories don't get more views, considering how well written they are. Oh well. To me, at least, you are an inspiration. :twilightsmile:

3363962
Thanks very much! You are so very kind. I'm quite glad you enjoyed the story. :twilightblush:

I know it's been pointed out already but the 'little hoarse' pun... So bad but I couldn't stop laughing. Still am a bit... Anywho, I absolutely loved the story. Very well written, and it felt very in character. AB scolding sweetie belle about oranges was another exceptionally funny little but for me. Thank you for this great story!

3383155
Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed the read. I've actually spoken with the CMC at various conventions this year regarding that oranges line, and all three loved it, and said it was something Apple Bloom might say. I really appreciate your comment and your readership. :scootangel:

Very nicely done!

This is a cute story with excellent characterization. Everypony acted and reacted pretty much how one might expect, and that's a good thing. I particularly liked Twilight's internal aside about how Celestia sometimes let her learn things on her own.

All that and a good moral, too!

Light and laughter,
SongCoyote

3574337
Thanks so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story.

Sweetie gulped. “Got it.”

Her errant kick sent the ball spiraling toward a building. It slammed into a teetering ladder supporting a bulky white stallion who had a rope, which supported a piano, clutched in his mouth. The ladder wobbled for a second and then collapsed. The stallion let out an alarmed whinny as he and the piano smashed into the ground, the instrument splintering into a cacophonous pile of wood and keys.

Her errant kick sent the ball spiraling toward a building. It slammed into a teetering ladder supporting a bulky white stallion who had a rope clutched in his mouth. The rope supported a piano. The ladder wobbled for a second, then collapsed. The stallion let out an alarmed whinny as he and the piano smashed into the ground, the instrument splintering into a cacophonous pile of wood and keys.

Scootaloo grinned sheepishly at the destruction she had wrought and rubbed the back of her head. “Hee, hee... whoops...”

Might want to lose one of those paragraphs.

Edit: You know, come to think of it, I'm really not sure why I didn't tell you this over Skype.

5000367
thanx doge

Something went horribly wrong during editing. :derpyderp1:

This was a lot better than I thought it would be. I legit thought I was reading an episode. Even heard that one song they play whenever they start writing letters lol.

I give this 5 :rainbowdetermined2:

5071336
Thanks very much! That was exactly my intent when I wrote this (and you can see its evolution toward this stage in greater detail if you look at the author's note at the bottom).

A bit of a popcorn story, but it's extremely well written and managed to feel longer that it is – but in the good way.

Anything is is kind of subsumed by OMFG SOMEONE ELSE WHO WRITES IN BOOK FORMAT. Seriously. Not enough of that around these parts.

-M

5075380
Thanks very much! I was certainly trying to emulate the show with this story. While that can be difficult, as you cannot directly translate prose into script or script into prose, hopefully I made enough alterations to have pulled it off. Also, there is always the pitfall for this story being a bit low-stakes and predictable (I'm guessing this is what you alluded to by saying it's a bit of a "popcorn" story), but I was banking on it following the series formula well enough to make it work, since that formula is what drew most of us to this fandom in the first place.

Anyway, enough of my speculative babble. I'm glad you appreciated the fic as a whole and the book format. Horse Voice taught me to write in book format way back when, and I've been sticking to that. The worst is when people complain that the paragraphs don't have an extra return following them, even though the indents accomplish the goal of signaling a clear paragraph break. :twilightangry2:

It's a nice simpel story, would love to see it animated, maybe somepony can achieve?
Great work!

Fanfic understandably tends to complicate the core material in its desire to push into territory the show itself does not (or dares not) cover, but it's nice to have a fic from time to time that just reminds us why we like the show itself, no frills and no strings attached. Thanks for sharing this, Gary.

6328712
Thank you very much, and thanks for taking the time to read this! :twilightsmile:

Rip hard headed scoot. Cute story.

He, he, this story would fit in with the canon stories from the earlier seasons. Nice little one shot. :twilightsmile:

9469219
Thanks! As the author's note said, this was written as a spec script (well, it was prose, then adapted into a script, then adapted back into prose), so your response was exactly what I was going for. :scootangel:

11853884
Aaaa! Thank you very much! :heart:

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