• Member Since 27th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 11th, 2014

Aetherlord_Ignus


Hi, I'm Aetherlord_Ignus. I am a high-school student and my favorite pony is Twilight Sparkle. I have a variety of geeky interests including writing, retro games and tabletop gaming

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Source

One fine day, Scootaloo is having fun riding her scooter around Ponyville, but when she attempts to try out a new trick, things don't go too well. Story inspired by cover art.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 17 )

my reaction to the scooter breacking:

and by the end... happy pinkies for all! :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Comment posted by T6J2E5 deleted Mar 4th, 2013

Hm... This is one of the few stories I've had to give a bad review for... There are quite a few typos, and it's very rushed. Too short. I can summarize it in two sentences.

Scootaloo breaks scooter, and Rainbow comforts her. Rainbow confesses her former lack of skill, and then they start to fly to Rainbow's house.

Really, I'm not sure if this will go a long way... Then again, it's a simple one shot, attempting to touch the hearts of readers. Please don't be upset; people get bad reviews all the time.

2209273 Quite alright :pinkiehappy:

I didn't mean for this to get featured or anything. I just got diabeetus from the cover art and decided to right a fic

Scootalove FTW! :rainbowkiss::scootangel::heart:

This feels like it could a short or even an actual episode if it were fleshed out. Heck this could be the set up for a flashback episode where Rainbow Dash recounts her early days at flight school.

This is the kind of writing that I'm happy to see from new authors. It's short, but it does everything that a good story should: it introduces a problem and resolves it. It's not a cliché, it's not a trollfic, it's not clop, it's not riddled with errors, and it doesn't try to be dark and edgy. It's just canon ponies acting in character. I've read so many worse stories by new authors that this one stands out just by not falling into any of the usual traps. Bravo :twilightsmile:

2209361

What Amacita said. Nice job.

Very cute :scootangel:
I give you five :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache: out of five

D'awwwww. :rainbowkiss:

2209290 Thank you for your understanding. Heh, I couldn't tell you how many stories I was writing that I decided that I hated, and deleted all of it. Two of them were clop. One was already published. I can only hope nobody remembers them :rainbowwild:

Now that I think about it a bit more, I realize that the story logic could use a bit more work.

Rainbow Dash can't repair the scooter with anything she is likely to have at her house. Applebloom would have the tools and skills needed to fix it; Twilight could find a repair spell; Rainbow Dash, on the other hand, is unlikely to be able to help, even though it's clear she wants to.

Also, people don't plan and study a difficult trick for days before attempting it. They decompose it into smaller skills and master those, building up to the big and difficult trick that they want to learn.

Still, this is a decent story. Keep up the good work, and think out your ideas a bit more next time. :scootangel:

2212258
#1: I removed the "study" part.
#2: I'm assuming that Rainbow Dash has wood glue, because most people do :rainbowdetermined2:

2212258
useful advise but a little bit of a killjoy there.:applejackunsure:

well, i was expecting a better picture there. maybe a wheel off, and the thing totally destroyed.:rainbowhuh: hell, i shouldn't be braggin, i can't draw very well either.:ajsleepy::twilightsheepish::trollestia::rainbowkiss::rainbowhuh::fluttershyouch:

2955481 I didn't draw the picture. It just inspired me.

So...does she have a family in this story, or is it a orphaned Scootaloo story? Because if she has a family in this story, than I don't get why she was so devastated by her scooter breaking, since she would be able to ask her parents for money to repair it. I mean, if her parents told her no for any other than that they got her a better scooter, I could see why she'd be devastated.

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