• Member Since 15th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

totallynotabrony


T

On the eve of the Gulf War, a US Navy ship sails through an intense storm and into a different world.

Equestria and the other members of the United Lands are attempting to remove the dragons from their encroachment into Zebrica, but diplomacy is failing. While nopony wants a war, it appears that there might be no other option.

Captain John Mittal and the rest of the sailors aboard USS Wisconsin have some tough political and ethical choices to make. This isn't their fight, but can they stand by while the rest of the world prepares for war?

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 446 )

This..Is Really good!

Battleships are magic?
I mad a smile on my face anticipating the reactions of all involved with a meeting here so Kudos to you for that. I'll be watching you closele.:ajsmug:

Yup. Definitely tracking... :moustache:

I like, please do continue this story :twilightsmile:

In the navy, lived on a ship, totally understand that line, "Um, orders, sir?"

This has potential :twistnerd:

I love seeing quirky ideas for crossover fics. I have this a track and am excited for the next chapter.

Wow. This is well written and interesting. I'm tracking this.:pinkiehappy:

It's pretty good, but there is a big error in your story in that the captain of the Wisconsin was Captain Jerry Blesch, not Mittal. Here's a list of the ship's history (for you, and everyone else reading this post) for the record. Everything else is bang on though.

223517
This is fiction. Tom Clancy never used real people.

Thanks for the link. I've been tripping all over myself trying to keep things historically accurate, yet still get a freaking battlship to Equestria.

*Glasses Off* Shit just got real.

224107
Of course he did! They just had a tendency to be conveniently become irrelevant or die before the fictional characters got involved in events.

Fire the 16inch MOAR Battery
5
4
3
2
1
FIRE
MOARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
MOARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
MOARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
DIRECT HIT SIR

I'm literally laughing out loud at some of these comments.

I have a suggestion. Maybe you could make it that a few more ships got pulled through, but turned up in other areas of the storm.

I can just tell Rarity must be horrified by a Marine's uniform. Waiting for the next chapter, comrade. :pinkiehappy:

Is this based off of the Destroyerman series? :rainbowhuh: If it is, then this will be so awesome. :rainbowkiss:

224198

I probably won't. Stories are all about conflict and the struggles to resolve it. With the rest of the battle group to support her, Wisconsin would turn into one giant steel Mary Sue. It would be too easy, and then the story would end early. I don't want that, and I'm sure you don't either. :twilightsmile:

224292

I actually was planning something like that.

224422

Never heard of the series before you mentioned it. I might have to check it out.

Poast more, sleep less!
Srsly, can't wait to get past this horrible cliffhanger!

...I got nothing else.

Dayumm. USS Wisconsin will deliver some serious fire if anything fucks with them.

Tracking.

224107
You're welcome. I suggest checking out that site and others for more information on the Wisconsin, maybe even asking the curators of its historical society some questions, in order to be as accurate as possible.

Also, this is indeed very good so far. I'll be tracking to see how this develops in the future. :twilightsmile:

You have most definitely caught my attention, good sir. This is wunderbar so far!

I eagerly await the next update!

lol, nice

short, but well made with few grammatical errors. I applaude you sir.

also first
:trollestia:

This is good. Keep it up.

:pinkiehappy:

Three chappies in one day?! Awesome! :raritystarry:

I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!
FIRE ALL MOAR BATTERYS!!
LOADED AND READY TO FIRE
FIRE
media.moddb.com/images/groups/1/3/2103/SHIP_Battleship_Iowa_Front_Firing_lg.jpg

Honestly, this felt rushed and choppy, I prefer the first two chapters far more. Sorry:applecry:

Damn you Thedever!!!! You stole my first's!!!!:flutterrage:

225218
Overkill: So rarely necessary, so often fun!

225227

Don't feel bad. I think you're the first person to actually give me constructive criticism. You're right, I am rushing. Too many ideas at once.

I'll make up for it with some really neat dialogue in ch4.

225218

Darn it, you ruined the surprise! :rainbowlaugh:

If nothing else, try going for longer chapters. That should help the pace a good bit.

First contact was a little more rushed than ought to be IMO. Then again, it's a refreshing change for ponies and humans to immediately get along. You lack the cynical misanthropism that most HiE writers seem to have,

IMHO you should have written out the scene with the marines meeting the mane 6. It was prehaps the most important scene in the chapter and it happend "off screen".
This way I'm left wondering, why it went so well. Are marines trained to make first contact with extrateresstian lifeforms?

And I can agree that it felt rushed. Just take your time to write and edit. Us readers can wait a few days for new chapters.

“What is that thing, anyway?” said the rainbow pegasus, pointing a hoof at the helicopter. “It doesn’t look like it should fly.”

I've got to point out that RD's Tank can fly using a propeller stuck to his back. So this kinda goes against canon.

Enjoyable, but the other commenters are right. Unlike the first two chapters, this one felt much more rushed. I would have loved to see more of the conversation between the marine landing party and the ponies, for instance... and a little bit more of what I like to call the "WTF moment" on the part of the humans. It felt like they took discovering the dominant sentient species on the new planet is a race of magical ponies a little too in stride.

I'm not saying you needed to spend another 3k works on those things or anything... but a little bit more exposition to set the mood and scene would have been nice.

Nevertheless, the story itself was well-written and I continue to look forward to new chapters.

226210

To be fair, Tank in no way looks like it should be able to fly either... but such is the power of magic.

As others have said, it was way too choppy. The humans were too nonchalant about everything, the first contact scene was left out, there simply is no way for the timeline to make any sense since it would have taken at least an hour at the soonest to get the chopper ready and fly the no doubt dozens of miles to Canterlot (that whole scene really doesn't make any sense in the first place since the crew of the Wisconsin should have waited for the Equestrians to send a diplomatic envoy to be polite and save on fuel), Twilight's abilities seem to be a bit overstated considering that that the most distance she's ever teleported has been a few hundred feet, and darnit, it's the United States Navy not the United States of America Navy.

Haven't read yet, but the description sounds like that movie from the 80's "The Final Countdown"...which I loved :pinkiehappy:

I see it now I se everthing now, ITS TIME TO GO FIND THAT STORM SO I CAN BE IN EQUESTRIA! :pinkiehappy:
tracking

226579
I remember reading about that movie...

I love it I love it so much
I 5/5 ! :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

wo anything that deals with the navy im game for be readen l8er

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