• Member Since 14th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

totallynotabrony


Sequels1



T
Source

Trixie is arrested for holding Ponyville hostage under a giant dome. Instead of jail, she chooses to serve her sentence as a member of the Lunar Guard.

It goes about as well as expected.


Concept and prereading by Rated Ponystar.
Editing by Rune Heart
TV Tropes page

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 56 )

I staple tapeworms to my penis

6709148 That seems counterproductive. I thought those were for internal use.

Rent sucks. I have to pay mine every month.

6709159 I mean, not as bad as every night, so you have that going for you.

6709155 The possibilities are endless.

You have 98 stories now. Anything special planned for 100?

Trixie seems like her natural personality has been already dulled by her six months on the island so far. She just seems so lifeless as soon as they get into town and start their patrol.

(on that note, I always find it interesting in these fics where Trixie or some other characters gets an actual sentence handed out or a punishment in lieu of, but things the Mane 6 do like putting a mind control spell over a town, allowing a parasprite infestation or wrecking the weather factory is brushed aside)

6709148
I'm sorry, but, I - you- WHAT? Just, there's not enough what in life right now.

6709162
This is very true. Paying rent every night? Yeesh.

6709159
I essentially get payed to rent. The only thing bad about it are the neighbors and work schedule.

I really like this concept. I also really like your characterization of Trixie. Keep it up!:trixieshiftleft:

Trixie REALLY seems out-of-sorts. I suppose not being able to really do her talent for so long does that to her, and even if they allow her to do performances for the town, more than once every few weeks or a month would be boring.

6709263 Good question. I'd like to, but currently have no plans.

6709294 Maybe the Mane 6 are racking up more mandatory community service as a monster-fighting squad every time they do something like that.

6709426
Maybe you could try a different writing style, among other things as a one time thing.
Not that there is anything wrong with your writing style, but it is just a suggestion.

Trixie sounds like she is just running out the clock

6715131 That's pretty much what Hasta's saying.

6709294 I think the writers want to avoid sending mixed messages to the target demographic (i.e. young children), even though "You still have to take responsibility for your mistakes, even if you're a good person". I follow the headcanon that Equestria is just really forgiving as long as you make it clear you honestly don't want to cause more trouble. I.e the cases of Trixie, Starlight, Sunset, Luna, Spike and the Mane Six, etc.

That said, community service and variants thereof can make sense, and it's an interesting starting point for stories like this. Trixie makes for an interesting "reluctant protagonist", too.

I read Hasta's lines in an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice. Is that weird?

6720195 Not what I was thinking when I wrote him, but you can characterize the guy however you want.

6720214
Yeah, it kind of reminded me of Terminator 2, which is why I did that.

At least it looks like Trixie in this story can learn . So not a imbecile, just still has a big ego :)

Wanderer D
Moderator

Nice little story bro! Are you going to do more of these motley crew's adventures in the future?

Malkavians! omg, they be my faves~

6724015 Thank you. The idea of more has grown on me since finishing the story, but I currently have no time or plans to do so. I would, however, happily support any efforts by someone else.

>Stop looking at my Privates and come in here.

:trixieshiftleft: You did that on purpose.

Nice story. I enjoyed it and hope you or somepony will make a sequel. :twilightsmile:

D48

That was great. Trixie is a lot of fun when you use her well, and this story definitely pulled it off with style. The fake cult and quirky cast of clowns gave her a nice setup to play off of, and she did a surprising amount of growing in such a short time. That said, I feel like things are going to get really interesting once that paperwork makes its circuit because I get the distinct impression that Cracked Mirror put Trixie in for a medal for her actions which is going to draw a lot of interest to Trixie given her history and post. I would expect it to wind up getting Luna's attention due to how unusual the situation is which will almost certainly have some very interesting consequences one way or another and could get Trixie transferred to a legitimately important post.

6727119 Sounds like a story you could write.

D48

6727136 :rainbowlaugh:

To be perfectly honest, I have way too much other stuff going on to even think about trying to write a story so there is just no way I could realistically consider taking the time to write something even if it is short. :derpytongue2:

6724959
6724978
It's funny because I'm fairly sure that I said pretty much the same thing when TNaB and I were building the story up.

An excellent story. Very well paced and thought-out. Very much the iconic "cop drama" story with a pseudo-supernatural angle. Trixie shows once again that she can be protagonist material in the hands of a competent writer; she's not an idealistic goody-four-shoes like Twilight and her friends, but more of a "guile hero" with a grey morality. She's got sharp wits and a grab-bag of not too powerful but very well-honed magic tricks, and she uses them well to accomplish her tasks.

The other characters were very well developed as well, and felt very natural as supporting characters as opposed to either bland background ponies or spotlight-stealing quirksters. Mirror was definitely quirky, but it felt like natural behavior, like she had good reason for it (An act to make others underestimate her? A coping mechanism?) rather than her "playing the Pinkie" for the amusement of the readers. Hasta felt very much like the put-upon serious guy who thinks he should be in charge and get things done properly instead of working for the loony. And Melon Rind was a great partner for Trixie: the greenhorn, the muscle, to whom she can explain things. Brawns and brain.

Good read. I wouldn't mind seeing a continuation or somesuch.

6739871 Thank you! Now if I could only get downvoters to explain their thoughts so thoroughly.

i would really like a sequel to this story.

That was a lot of fun - I love cop drama with well realized cast of characters.

The existence of Cracked Mirror forces me to leave you with this quote:

"The mirror cracked from side to side. The curse has come upon me said the Lady of Shallot"

Your characterization of Guardspony Trixie is excellent. I think this could become a series, if you wanted to take it there.
Or, if you don't want her to stay in the Guard, she might still carry some traits or skills over into her civilian life, as just one more step toward becoming a badass action-adventure hero like Twilight. :facehoof: <Argh.)

Her frown is thoroughly to far to the right of her face btw

7315396 Kind of an achievement for a six-month-old story.

7315545 Stupid computer, not showing me the comments.

7317184 It was the first comment on chapter 4.

No comments...
I feel so alone.

Congrats, Trixie, that's some straight-up Black Company shit right there, the sneaky misdirection-based illusion hedge magic that Goblin and One Eye used to rain terror on their enemies and each other.

Which makes me wonder, has anyone ever done a half-crossover? The Black Company's lost history is perfectly suited for slotting into the Nightmare Moon incident.

I was unable to find any Black Company pony fic, so I decided to start one. So congratulations, totallynotabrony, you got me to commit fanfic. First bit of non-verse fiction I've published in nearly twenty years.

“Oh, but I am the Good Idea Fairy,”

Utterly horrifying.

Ah, the old good-cop-bipolar-cop routine. Gets 'em every time.

7505704 ever do lonlyyyy, all on my ownnnn.

Mirror shook her head. “Cultists.”
Trixie added, “Imbeciles.”

There's a difference?

Login or register to comment