WebHead69
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I'll definitely give this a read later!
I'll be keeping tabs on this.
Thunderlane you just turn down workspace sex. A face palm isn't enough.
t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR2zJjrhTPMg0IU8DG9bKV6KDdN1XGC5KpR1g7VJ5n1bANqa06AQA
2800557
Wouldn't be fun/realistic if he just went along with everything and thought only with his penis.
I feel a little bad for this, but I kinda hope we'll see Spitfire and Soarin abuse their position a bit more- and just how kinky this game will get. Maybe even have one or both of the mares and/or Thunderlane tied up (Spitfire apparently likes being dominated by Soarin, at least, and she herself wants to dominate Rainbow).
Heads up: There are some typos- maybe you should run everything through a spellchecker again.
2802076
You won't be disappointed~
And thanks for pointing out the errors; I came across them with some that weren't suppose to be 'merged'.
2800803 True. It's best to think with your head on your shoulders.
I'm enjoying it so far!
Cloudchaser look mad! Awesome!
First chapter was pretty good! There were a bunch of grammatical errors that made me stop and think for a minute though.
See if you can work those out. Overall pretty decent so far. Any idea how long you're going to make this?
OH DAYYUM CLOUDCHASER GON KICK SOME RAINBOW ASS. no but please dont i love this pairing
2977113
Too late.
Good chapter and story so far but not into lesbians.
Your doin good work bro. Keep it up
The story seems to be fleshing out decently, though its definitely clop-centric, and seems to be pushed to the side more often than not. (though whatever, this is a clopfic)
and ignore Rubakor. It needs more lesbians.
3071892
I take it that the previous chapter didn't explain reason behind Cloudchaser's actions? Sorry about that. lol
3072814
That's not what I meant. It was a fine explanation, don't worry so much.
..........Damn, i should have read this sooner. This is a dayum-fine story.
Cloud-chaser. Thunder-lane. These are characters i don't know. These are characters i've never read about or don't really recall seeing in the series.
These are characters you made me care about with this fic. I actually want to go look up their bios now to find out more about them and i am certainly enjoying seeing the antics they get up to in this fic. I'm looking forward to more of the great sexuality, romance, and humor presented thus far in this story
Most excellent.
3103702
I am surprised that you never heard of those characters. But I am glad that you're enjoying it~
This is a great read and I thought your previous chapter was just as great :) keep up the good work! :D
Really great work man! Looking forward to more!
Kinda on the fence about this chapter. Thunderlane didn't owe anything to Cloudchaser. He made it clear to her about how he felt and she did all of that anyway. As for it being his fault, no it isn't. He's not obligated to tell her everything he does just because they're friends. Spitfire is a cunt too having Rainbow ream out Thunderlane in his ass. Really? Thunderlane would THANK Rainbow for shoving a strapon in his ass that's atleast the size of his dick? If this happened to me I'd strangle each one of them and then quit. This chapter makes me like the story less then I did before.
3590086 Spitfire is a bitch ~
She's quite perverted and high in ego~
Also, Thunderlane felt guilty for what happened to Cloudchaser since they're that close to one another. Even Rainbow Dash was feeling guilty for sleeping with Thunderlane because they really all care for their feelings (save Spitfire)~
3590138 Nothing against you, its a good chapter in this story. Just didn't really like the chapter very much.
3590217
Its cool. I simply wanted to add something dark~
Wait... isn't that meant to be Soarin? Or am I just missing something (pretty much half asleep at the moment
)
And this chapter was kinda up there with the last one
3592789
Ah thanks for pointing that out!
3593042
No problem.
3592836
Well then you're not going to like the last chapter.
Nah, you'll like it~
The last chapter is next? Oh noes! It's too good to end!!!
Good story but the last 3 chapters basically killed off all my enjoyment of it.
3639001
You're hard to please I've noticed.
But I understand if you didn't enjoy the end~
3643498 Depends on the story, the setting, the characters and my current mood. Just really didn't like Spitfire in this story and the things she pulled.
There's always one with a problem with tiny errors in every chapter
I've had this in my favorites for quite some time, but I'm only just getting to read it. A pretty interesting start to an extremely sexy story. The clop, while still pretty good, is lacking in sensual details. I'm quite sure that I'll be loving the rest of this story. Pegasi rule!
~SolidFire
CC spies some sex, I like that. Now there needs to be a threesome between them. I'll be finishing this up either tomor... today or Sunday. Can't wait!
~SolidFire
Not a bad chapter. It looks like Cloudchaser would like to be more than simple 'friends with benefits' with Thunderlane. Looking at the title for the next chapter... I can't wait to read that one!
~SolidFire
That was hot; that was very hot. I kinda like seeing Spitfire as a dom. She plays that part well. Now it looks like poor ol' Cloudchaser is being substituted in for Dash in Soarin's little make up thing.
~SolidFire
3807215
Nice knowing that someone else appreciates female dom~
Kinda hot. I liked the premise of this chapter, but I'm never a fan of the male being penetrated. Now I'm on to the final two chapters before being done with this... interesting experience.
~SolidFire
Well, I am definitely not a fan of that rimming, but I'm pretty sure that Dash is going to give it a try next chapter. Final chapter up next, so I'm kind of sad to see this tale come to a close.
~SolidFire
Well, finally finished this. Had the tab open for twelve hours today because parents decided to pester me. Overall... a pretty good story. Knew Dash was going to rim Thunderlane, which still grosses the unholy fuck out of me. Now... what else is there for me to say? Hmmm, ah, the concept is something I love to death, because pegasi are my favorites and you really used all of my favorites (just add Fleetfoot and Lightning). Now, there are but two things that need a moderate bit of work. The sensuality and descriptions of the clop was rather lacking in my eyes. Finally, the errors in the story were abundant. You've got some good potential, but it's always a good idea to have a pre-reader and editor give the story a once over. I wish you the best of luck in your future writings! Keep up the great work!
~SolidFire
Cash
The fact they don't even bother to lock the door and no one was attracted to Spitfire's screams =
Enjoyable. That's all i'm going to say. I've got nothing bad to say but imma stop there
When i read this. ..
me: OMG they like have telepathy
Hmm cliffhanger
can ou make an anthro soarinXrainbowXspitfireXfleetfoot oneshop clop?
Let me put it this way. RAINBOW DASH, wants to have sex with you. You really wanna say no?
Hell if I know.
Oh dear.