• Member Since 2nd Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen February 1st

WebHead69


Comments ( 54 )

Here we go. :moustache:

where are these tumors in my eyes from

I like very much, but I'd put a line in between these parts

Spike moaned again as he stroked her mane while he had a mini-orgasm in her mouth. She effectively sucked him dry, causing the purple dragon to purr in pleasure...

“Like that Pinkie...agh,” Mr. Cake moaned, as he felt his 3rd release occurring. He struggled to keep himself standing straight, as the pink mare below him was giving him an amazing experience.

Just so people know when it changes.

5027514

No because it was happening at the very same moment; you notice that I used **************** to seperate particular sections if a certain amount of time passed. But it was happening only a second later while watching the scene.

5027531
Ahh, I see now. Alrighty then. :twilightsmile:

Well, that was certainly fun and enjoyable, if quite a bit odd.

And yup, Mr. and Mrs. Cake are fun freaks.

Want to read, but am wary of the Dark tag. A bit of explanation? Like some triggers?

5027741

When you read the end, it'll make sense but you won't feel a thing~

And then there was kirin babies. :pinkiehappy:

Ok so spike does know that the chance he got a mare preggers is high right? Dragon sperm is potent

5028105 Well if you read the other stories in this universe, you would know that he's been trying for a long time. :ajsmug:

5028293 yeah ik I just like saying he gonna end up a baby daddy. I read the 1st one already

5028293 And boom goes the dynamite. :rainbowlaugh::yay:

Tits don't make the fic.

I enjoyed this. Hope Spike doesn't get sued by Mrs.Cake.:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Though was she acting or was she actually being raped? :twilightoops::rainbowderp::rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh:

5029079 She was actually getting raped, but enjoyed it. If you've read my previous storylines, the cakes are the ultimate fetish couple.

I feel so sorry for Spike actually fucking that fat sack of ugly.

5030145 did u even see the picture image for the story!

5027531
Just use [ hr] (no space). It's a separate scene, even if it happens with zero change in time. It's rather jarring.

I assume we'll get more mini sequels of Spike with a a different mare:trollestia:

5030281 Yes i did. Still stand by my statement.

Maybe the full actual sequel series of Spike's contact with the Princesses will come!

static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/4/46385/3876849-3709073726-774.g.gif

I wonder if that was worth a month of Sapphire cupcakes. It's nice to hear Spike's wings have grown.

5029109
Just needed to know. :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

5027741

If you want spoilers Roleplay rape

For bigger spoiler It was real rape, though cupcake enjoys it. Mr. Cake told spike that Mrs. Cake wanted a role play fantasy of being raped, but Mrs. Cake really didn't know or expect it.

Just like in the show spikes wings are just made up nonsense.

Hmm, I think you did pretty well! :pinkiesmile: I really enjoyed the fact that you put a lot of effort into it. It's not my favorite clopfic, but, overall, it was pretty good! :coolphoto:

Oh dear, that was sweet and elite.

Most excellent. :pinkiehappy:

Oh god. This story man... :facehoof:

Firstly, the tilde (~) shouldn't be used how it is in the title of the chapter, the story, or anywhere in between. The tilde is used in a sing-song fashion. An example:

"Spiiike~, could you come here please?"

This is how it should be used. Unless the title is "Sweet niiight~" or "Give me some sugaaaar~,” then it's wrong. Also, all starting letters in titles are capitalized.

Secondly, this:"

"So anyway, I need you to help my wife-"

"HOLD ON!" Spike held both hands up and gave Mr Cake a serious expression. By this point they were in the kitchen where the lights were on. "You can't be seriously requestiong what I THINK you're going to be requesting!"

What? Mr. Cake barely explained to Spike what the plan was. For a Spike knew, Mr. Cake could've been asking Spike to help her with laundry. It's unnecessary.

Thirdly, (and I know people get off on this, but still) it's a rape fic. And a poor one at that.It was like The Best Bachelor Party Ever all over again. Mr. Cake just comes in out of nowhere, getting sucked off by Pinkie. You didn't even explain that, either. It wasn't natural. And Rape, you don't just suddenly give in andgo along for the ride and have fun, either. You are being RAPED. Even though you are feeling the sensation, you know in your mind you don't want it. You don't just scream "NO" One minute, and the next minute "YES". It's not like she knew she was role-playing, she was ACTUALLY being raped.

Sorry, but this just didn't cut it for me.

5038130

Ok first off, something you need to understand is that I use (~) for EVERYTHING; titles, ending a blog, talking in general. Hence it's a trait that my readers identify me with and I tend to use it occasionally whenever I feel like it. It's an addiction. :pinkiecrazy:

Second, because this is a sequel of my most popular story (noted), the readers themselves understand that Spike is very skeptical with the cakes because of previous events. In fact, it's referenced when he was paying for what he ordered while talking to Mr. Cake. Hence he immediately assumed cuckold-themed sex when he was asked to come to his home after hours and where Mr. Cake was going to say after hearing that his wife 'needed' him.

Now I am not going to use this as an 'excuse', but rather an explanation given that you've apparently haven't read my previous works, blogs, etc. :twilightsmile: I really can't blame you for that because it does happen.



Now for the third part, I think that you didn't thoroughly read the story;

“GH!” Mr. Cake gasped as Pinkie Pie sucked out his release without trouble. Peering through a small hole in her closet was difficult when there was barely any space for the 2 of them. However, he really didn't want to miss the show that was going on in his room.

This explained that Mr. Cake was in Pinkie Pie's closet from the other side of the wall watching Spike rape his wife while getting blown. I am surprised you missed that...

Now for you having an issue on she reacted, I can easily say that her previous attempts to fight back seemed pointless when he easily overpowered her and given by how perverted she is (again, sequel to previous events), she easily gave in to his attacks. Now this sound cheap, but I did not want to spoil to the readers that she was getting raped, thus ruining the twist. And just because she moaned during his sexual assault in the middle, was completely neutral, not indicating that she wanted it or not. After all, our bodies do betray us in more ways than one.

However, I do respect your opinion and appreciate your honesty on how Mrs. Cake should have acted. I hope for another honest review from you in the near future~

5038376
I went back again, I guess I missed that, and I give credit where credit's due. or something like that.

Also, I just don't wanna read through other stories just to understand this story's canon. You should make that more clearer, or fix it or something. I don't know. Your story.

Lastly, I noticed that the tilde is at the end of all your titles, but at least make an exception and leave it out of the story, or at least use it properly. I don't enjoy reading normal words in sing-song styles, and other people probably don't either.

And hey, at least you're not an asshole either!

5038450

Well I will take note of your feedback. Thanks your honesty~ :twilightsmile:

5038376

I did not want to spoil to the readers that she was getting raped, thus ruining the twist

I haven't read the story yet, but when I see "sex" and "dark" I immediately assume rape. It probably doesn't help that one of the groups this story is in is simply titled "Rape".

Edit: Now having read the story, I see what you mean by twist. It's an okay twist, but not particularly shocking knowing the habits of the Cakes from the previous story.

5039018
But in honesty, most would assumed that she WAS in on the role-playing and the dark-side of the story could have been something else; Spike may have sexually humliated either one of them in such a matter or anything along that that crossed the line~

But really I think it's just a nice twist considering that you wouldn't think Mr. Cake would do that to his wife~ :scootangel:

dragon balls

are all 7 there or are the other five hidden?

Um...capitalizing every letter of a word to emphasize it doesn't really look all that pretty, it easily broke the flow of the story for me... perhaps bold or italics are better for that? (note: purely personal opinion speaking)

Also:

Mr. Cake looked at her embarrassed. “Heheh, well my wife is TERRIBE when it comes to role-playing;

If you meant to use "terrible" there, you made it seem like "LOOK, A MISTAKE, POINT IT OUT PLEASE!" (whoops, that sounded dickish, excusez-moi... it was an interesting read, despite my above remarks)

5064745 he he he he lol I can not stop laughing

NOT BAD MY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did a reading of this fic, requested by someone on youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCPFB1U-ByY
Enjoy if you can.
Woo!

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