"My name is Lyra Heartstrings, and you will not remember me. You won't even remember this conversation. Just like with everypony else I've ever met, everything I do or say will be forgotten. Every letter I've written will appear blank; every piece of evidence I've left behind will end up missing. I'm stuck here in Ponyville because of the same curse that has made me so forgettable. Still, that doesn't stop me from doing the one thing that I love: making music. If my melodies find their way into your heart, then there is still hope for me. If I can't prove that I exist, I can at least prove that my love for each and every one of you exists. Please, listen to my story, my symphony, for it is me."

Cover pic by Spotlight: askspotlight.tumblr.com

“You know how when you're at a party, and you use what you didn't realize was a magic letter to Princess Celestia to roll a joint?
I guess maybe that's not, uh, a thing, but yeah, I did that this one time. It was at that huge party Shannon and Adam had a while back. You know, Max's friends? …No, Celestia's not one of—They wouldn't know each other...
But anyway, yeah, in case you were wondering why I'm all like, a girl unicorn now, that was kinda the short version.”

Meet Rob, a 27 year old musician who gets more than he bargained blah blah blah
Get a front-row seat in his brain for the Long Version, as he wracks it trying to weasel out of being a pony, or at least not let anything slip by as he takes it one freaky moment at a time.

What will the other lost-weekenders think when they walk in on him passed out on their couch? Will he be able to get through the city and at least back to his apartment, if not to normal? Will he learn anything about REAL friendship along the way and stop being such an insufferable hipster? What if some blowhard fan author just couldn't “turn it off” and ended up trying to write a pony story as actual sci-fi? Will Ahuizotl get the statue? Does P=NPony? Can you grab me another beer while you're up?
And did that letter ever get to Princess Celestia?
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Your standard pony Trip Report, with your standard pseudo-autobiographical narrator, written to flush out my creative plumbing and play around with, uh, like, good...thinkies and word-putting, and because the urge to do it just wouldn't leave me alone, so I just had to get it outta my system. I just really like the juxtaposition of humans and ponies, I guess.

Title is obviously a reference to M-Theory and Tristram Shandy, respectively. Because I can never pick just one thing.

Rated T for Adult Situations, gratuitous overthinking, and fuckloads of swearing. Oh and I guess drug use.

Applebloom is tired of being treated like a filly! She's a big pony, darn it! She wants the respect of her brother and sister, so she decides to take a drink of something definitely not meant for fillies. What happens afterward will convince her to never touch her brother's apple whisky ever again.

The following piece was written before season 3 and I'm not going back to change it, because this story flies in the face of canon anyway. Every dumb joke or tired brony-ism you can think of has been used in this fic for comedic purposes. Leave you offended-ness at the door, and enter, THE APPLE ZONE.
P.S. if you find I parodied a fic of yours within, it's because I liked it, not because I'm trying to make fun of it. This is meant to mock the fandom as a whole, as in, all of us. I'm not Blueshift, so it may not be that funny, but I regret nothing.

In preparation for a traditional Earth pony holiday, a huge meal must be prepared for the closest friends of the Apple family. Such a task requires each member to pitch in. Apple Bloom's job was to fetch mushrooms from the kindly old farmer Mr. Fungi on the opposite end of town. However, such a journey threatened to curtail her Cutie Mark Crusading with her friends, so when a pony in a leather jacket offers her some of his mushrooms just as they enter town, the crusaders couldn't believe their luck! Not only did it save them the walk, but they even had bits left over! Maybe Apple Bloom will get her cutie mark in bargain shopping?

Rated T for shroomage

Frosty Mug runs the premiere (and only) watering hole in Ponyville. He's been behind the pine for years, and listened to many a sob story, and joyous announcement. Enjoy his recollections of a rather strange week in which he served a different Element of Harmony every day, and a pony he would have never thought he'd have the honor of getting drunk. These are the memoirs of a Ponyville booze vendor.

Now with bonus drinks! Consider it 'Happy Hour'!

Warning: Shipping is mentioned.

Princess Celestia is losing control of her political power. The system is slowly crumbling due to the inverse relationship between harmony and "freedom". With the invitation of television sets, the internet, and instant coffee machines, "freedom" becomes the preferred theme of the Celestian empire as opposed to harmony.

With no other options (or perhaps due to a stroke of genius), Princess Celestia brings a self proclaimed expert on "freedom" to Equestria along with his entire family to create a new show with familiar roots: The Coltbert Report.

How will his family handle the new Equestrian life? Will Stephen Coltbert be able to return harmony to the land with his mixture of satire and wit? Only time and hundreds of episodes will tell.

Join Stephen Coltbert as he provides the conservative viewpoint on Equestria so that you don't have to.

Cover art by Stinkehund.

Featured on Equestria Daily: 1/16/2013

Note: Contains use of psychedelics (drugs). Do not read if you're too cool for hallucinogenics or if you're a wannabe YOLO kid.

Twilight Sparkle tries to bring a distant object with a spell she learned, but doesn't get the target by a few... galaxies, if not multiverses, and brings back a strange looking wagon. Finding out who it belongs to, she learns that the owner of the strange wagon has strange technology, herbs, and chemicals she's interested, so are her friends, and said stranger takes them to the experience of their life. Earning the interest of many more.

While she was looking for material to send to princess Celestia, Twilight finds a book! Well, it's not really a book, more a "Alternate universe that somehow got onto the shelf of a small Library in Ponyville". By accident, Twilight falls into it and starts her amazing journey trough the music of Pink Floyd...

(Yes you read that last bit correctly, and no, don't ask me how I got the idea. Let's just say the album Ummagumma Live! and my cat were involved)

Sometimes, you really can go out into the desert and find yourself with the help of a bag of mushrooms and some ponies. Sometimes, you're better off not knowing.

Recommended by Seattle's Angels, The Royal Guard, Titanium Dragon, & Paul Asaran. Includes drug use and cussing.

Two months have passed since House faked his death to avoid prison and spend time with his best friend, Wilson. Together they have traveled the United States doing whatever it is Wilson wishes to do before he dies from terminal cancer.

The most recent decision was to go to Trentville, a small town with little to offer the pair, apart from an unbeatable drinking challenge.

After successfully completing the challenge House and Wilson pass out in an an alleyway behind the pub, only to wake up in rather different land.

How will House cope in a land that is filled with ideas he believes to be moronic, where kindness and friendship roam free. More importantly, how will Equestria cope with House's cold, hard, cynical logic? Also how will Wilson cope living in a land filled with ideals he has tried to convince House of his whole life?