House was led through a series of winding corridors; a journey which was both confusing and dull. They walked in silence - apart from their steps on the stone and wooden floors - the situation clearly dulling his surly guards enthusiasm for taunting him.
As they walked, House was almost certain that they crossed many of the corridors they had previously walked down, it appeared they were taking him down a longer route. Either to confuse him, or to hide his presence. Neither of which mattered to him, it's not as if he had much choice in the matter.
Eventually, they entered a part of the castle which looked eerily familiar to House. It was a corridor with many rooms coming off of it; every surface was white; and the air smelt sterile. It was some sort of hospital or infirmary. House smiled, even on a different world, the place where people (or ponies in this case) spend ages recovering is also the dullest place you could be.
The guards led him down the long corridor towards a door at the end. Unlike the others this door wasn't white; it was left unpainted so the dark wood was visible; as was the name - Doctor Hoarse, Head of Medical Care. The name made House smile, as if the worst they normally dealt with was strep throat. No wonder he was being brought here.
Reaching the door, one of the guards quickly knocked and it was opened by a rather gruff looking stallion.
"Yes? What do you want?"
"Prisoner House to see Princess Luna." The pony's eye began to twitch.
"Fine."
The pony moved out of the way and one of the guards motioned House to go in while the other gave him a small nudge, forcing House to step forward; over the threshold; to avoid falling over.
"Aha, House, welcome. Please, won't you take a seat." Princess Luna was standing inside the room behind a desk, indicating to a seat just in front of it.
"Princess, I must express my disdain yet again, you can't possibly believe this 'creature' could be of use to us."
"Silence, Hoarse, I've told you already that you'll take his help; whether you like it or not."
"But Princess..." Luna shot him a gaze that froze him in a second.
"Now, House, you might be wondering why I summoned you here."
"If I was to hazard a guess, to teach this pony some proper etiquette?"
"Ha, as if I could learn anything from you!"
"Hoarse!" Luna paused to compose herself before speaking. "Nay, that is not why I have summoned you, in fact I have a feeling you could give Hoarse here a run for most arrogant entity of the year. It is because of my sister."
"Princess Celestia?"
"Indeed."
"Why?"
"Didn't you say you dealt with difficult medical situations?"
"Yes."
"Then that's why we need you, the situation involving involving my sister is Unique."
"And what makes you think I'd be willing to help?"
"Because you're our prisoner, and I'm making it part of your sentence."
"Doesn't mean I'll help, you can't force me."
"And because I believe you're like Hoarse here, the case is unique, and unique is interesting. Ponies like him like solving interesting puzzles. So I'm confident you'll help us."
"Alright I'll help you, on one condition."
"I'm listening."
"I don't take orders from, Hoarse. I'm not a lackey." Luna stood silent for a second.
"Alright, I accept those terms."
"But Princess, he's not even medically certified here, you can't possibly think letting him have free reign over your sisters treatment is right."
"Hoarse! Don't take me for a fool. I trust you'll be monitoring the situation and inform me if he's doing something foolish. Now, I have some royal matters I must attend to, is there anything else to sort out here before I leave?"
"Princess..."
Luna gave Hoarse a death stare, silencing him.
"Actually, I have one request." Luna looked at House, a strained smile on her face. "I need a team."
"I'll see what I can do." Luna left the room, leaving House and Hoarse alone. The tension in the room was thick enough to be cut with a knife.
"So, DDX?"
"Don't think I'll take this lying down, 'House'. I'll get you back for this."
"I don't think the Princess will like it if you do anything to me."
"We'll see how the Princess feels when you fail to cure her sister. I bet you don't even understand anything about our biology."
"You're right," House said with a grin, "I don't know anything about your biology. And I'm sure your Princess understands that. Yet she still chose to side with me. Now either she really likes me, which I doubt, or she really hates you. That must hurt, finding out your beloved Princess hates you enough to side with an alien." Hoarse's teeth were gritted, and his eyes were narrowed.
"Get out."
"Alright, I'll go. Don't throw a shoe."
"Out!"
House ducked out of the room, shutting the door behind him just in time, causing a well aimed vase to smash against it. He smiled as he walked down the corridor to find the Princess.
"This is going to be fun."
Wilson was pacing in front of the three fillies, Appleblom and Sweetie Belle having stopped their argument in response to Wilson's scream.
"I don't understand it, why would you girls be following me?"
"We're sorry mister," Scootaloo piped.
"There's no need to apologise to me, I'm not angry, just confused. I mean what's so 'special' about me that you would abandon the pony looking after you? Oh my goodness, I forgot about her for a second, she doesn't know where you are. She must be worried sick."
"What, ma sis? Nah, she won't be worried. We're safe here in Canterlot, royal guard everywhere and all that."
"Well, that aside, you can't just leave her to follow me. You had no idea what I was like."
"Well, you seemed nice enough, and you haven't done anything to us yet, so I guess we're safe." said Sweetie Belle.
"Okay, fair enough, I ask again, why follow me anyway?"
"Because of your flank." Scootaloo pointed. Wilson checked himself over.
"So? There's nothing there."
"Exactly! You look like, what, 50? By that age you should have your cutie mark."
"Cutie mark, you mean a kind of tattoo which indicates your special talent."
"Not exactly, I mean you have the right idea, but it's not a tattoo."
"Alright, but I still don't see what the big deal is with me not having a cutie mark. The policeman went on about it being illegal to cover one up."
"Yeah, our teacher told me while she waited for my sister to fit her dress. It's because they use cutie marks to help identify ponies."
"That makes sense, but I can't cover something I've never had."
"Exactly, we just want ta know why ya don't have one. We've been told that by your age everypony has one."
"There must be some that..."
"Everypony." The trio said in unison.
"Well I don't."
"You still haven't told us why."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"You wouldn't believe me."
"Try us."
"Sorry."
The three fillies looked up at him with their eyes open wide.
"Pwease, mister?" Applebloom led the cuteness charge.
"Fine, but don't blame me when you don't believe." Wilson moved back over to the bench and sat down, the three fillies taking seats on the ground in front of him.
"I guess I should start off by saying I'm not from around here."
"Oh, you're from out west?"
"No, nothing like that, I mean I'm not from this world."
"Get out."
"I said you wouldn't believe me."
"I know mister, but you must understand how crazy it sounds." Wilson smiled.
"Yeah, I know." His ears flattened on his head. "But it's true, last night I fell asleep on my world and woke up here. I'm not even a pony for goodness sake."
"Um, ah you sure? You look like ah pony to me."
"Uh, Applebloom, I think he meant back on his own world." Wilson nodded. "Ha, see."
"Yeah, well, um..."
"Girls, please, there's no need to fight."
"I'm sorry Applebloom."
"It's okay, Sweetie Belle. See mister, we made up." Applebloom beamed at him.
"Good," Wilson sighed. "I just wish I knew what to do, I have no idea how I'm meant to live like this. And, well, I'm worried that if my friend did get sent here as well that he's causing all sorts of trouble."
"Where did you wake up?"
"The royal gardens, I think."
"Hmm, well maybe he's still up there."
"I'm not sure, I mean I didn't see him when I woke up."
"Did you look?" Wilson blushed.
"Well, not really, I was kinda hungover."
"Well then, maybe we should go up and check?"
"I guess, but how will we get in there? I was arrested for being there without permission."
"Oh, that? No worries. Ma sister is up in the palace aht the moment speaking to the Princess about some business stuff."
"So she can get us in?"
"Well, maybe, but if not, Ah'm sure she told the guards to let us in when we went missing. We should be able to get you into the palace. Say you wanted to escort us and make sure we didn't get sidetracked again or something."
"Are you sure that will work?"
"Of course ah'm sure, sure as eggs are eggs, surer even. My sister says that sometimes eggs aren't always what they appear to be."
"Alright then, I guess we should go then." Wilson stood up and for a moment they they stood around in a group. "Um, you'll have to lead the way, no idea how to get there."
The three fillies walked off, Wilson following close behind. As they walked Sweetie and Scootaloo turned to Applebloom.
"Are you sure we can get him in?"
Applebloom gave a small shake of her head, small enough so only her two friends could see.
"Ah'm not sure," she glanced back at Wilson, who was glancing around at the world around him, a mixture of curiosity and wonder across his face. "Ah hope so."
2853094 Only ONCE has it ever been Lupus.
2859591
exactly what I said.
2859597
And I'm putting more to your point. Now, excuse me, I WANT TO READ THIS SOMEWHAT AMAZING LOOKING TALE!
2859609
Amazing? Shucks.
His ears, not eyes.
2859627
thanks :)
I have only one thing to say: should House find Wilson as he is right now - this (0:12) would be his reaction:
2859669
:) Yes, I'm sure pony Wilson being led by little ponies would make him laugh :)
As a very wise man once said...
LET THE FUCK-FUCK GAMES BEGIN!
I could help with some of the editing. I can't guarantee it'll be perfect but I do see some errors. Mostly with 'Action - Diologe'
I haven't immediately noticed anything else but the issue above is in there frequently. I'd be more than happy to help in editing requirements though.
Soooo good, but I need MORE HOUSE. Wilson and House must be reunited! We must have more lolzy times!
Keep up the good work author, these chapters are worth the wait, although i'd rather not wait at all.... ever.
Nice
House M.D. and Hoarse M.D.: what could go wrong?!
2859627 I like eyes better... it's deliciously absurd.
2859669 "We're going to cure death?"
"Doubt it.... but maybe!"
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR
please?
2860274
You'll get more, but give me a chance :) I just gave you an update :)
2860299 LOL OK i think i'm high
Can't wait for when House and Wilson meets!
2859597 So. Is it lupus?
2860730
I cannot confirm or deny, to do so might spoil the plot.
Well, my interest in the story is not lost after all this time, so your doing something right, even if it's being done slowly. I want to see House in action! Must know what happens next! *takes deep calming breaths* OK, I'm OK!…
I noticed the conversation between Wilson and the CMC was a bit confusing without being told who was talking. Perhaps if there was a place about in the middle of the longest running exchange where there was not speaker indication, where you did say who was talking, there would be less chance to get confused because you wouldn't have to keep track of the switching for as many times. Did that make sense? Not sure if anyone could understand what I meant by that.
If your worried about the ‘[somepony] said,’ making the story look strange, there are ways to change it up, even without look for different words that mean someone said something.
This writing guide was somewhat recently added to fimfiction.
Topic: Said tags
I don't want it to seem like I'm telling you what to do, I just wanted to offer help in the form of pointing out a nice writing guide, in-case you wanted such a thing.
Heh.
Keep up the good work.
This is when everything is decided. You have a lot of research to do if you want to do this right.
Hmmm, the chapter's not bad, I just think that you need to use more adjectives. Another thing I noticed is that there's not a lot of emotion shown, so when I read what someone is saying it sounds too bland; you need to explain to us how a person/pony feels by showing us their reactions and expressions. Lastly, I noticed that there's not enough detail to the setting a character may be in. e.g. Wilson and the CMC are in a park, so put some details of the scenery and how it effects the characters. Other than those things, I think that the story may be coming along nicely.
visible improvement I'll admit.
Why am I getting the unshakeable feeling that this is getting duller and duller... But it started out so well!
2864640
I'm sorry you feel like that, what is it you find dull?
I mean it might be my writing isn't as solid, or chapter updates took to long or something
it's lupus lol, or maybe something that wilson could help with
2865283
Truth to be told I can't exactly put a finger on it... In the latest chapter the dialouge was kind of... too long and... gray? I didn't even read it to the end to be honest... And I don't want to say it for sure, but in the last two chapters I felt as if House and Wilson were kind of out of their characters :/
Though don't take my word for it... It might be just me, as of recently I barely visited FIMfiction. I just found it hard to find any interest in the stories here. This might be the case here, too... So never mind me, I just have to rediscover my reading libido again. The others seem to like it, so just disregard what I said :3
2869921
Well, her 'official' reasoning is that Hoarse has never had to treat much more than feather flu, whereas she thinks this Alien may be able to solve a more complicated case, with pony biology helped with assistance.
2867135 You are not alone, it is getting duller. It's just that it's always dialogue without even a description after it. We need to know what the ponies think, do, and feel while they are talking. That's why I'm losing interest, not enough descriptions. But hey, I'm a sucker for descriptions. Most of my stories are 70% descriptions and 30% dialogue.
2881610
Fair enough, I had people complain before that I was describing too much, but I can assure you next chapter will try and go back towards describing the scene.
2884064 Know that it is impossible to please everyone, and you should only write what you want to write.
2884107
True, the problem is I find show not tell hard to do, hence why i've pulled back on the descriptions. To be honest I'm surprised so many people like this story :)
2884148 Well, a good way to help you with that, is to color your text. I actually mean that you need to use adjectives, that makes the story a whole lot more fun to read. Also, describing the feelings of ponies is also a good way to show not tell.
2884158
cheers.Will do that on next chapter and go back and edit previous chapters to be fun to read :)
I'm still surprised my story is so popular, I'm hardly a good writer :)
300107
I dunno, what happens in episodes are generally a short part of his life, the rest of the time he's sat playing the Guitar.
3127599
Yeah, it really helps me take you seriously when you can't punctuate sentences or commas in the first sentence of your rebuttal. I guess it's a good thing you didn't decide to go after the grammar mistakes I pointed out, or this would be a touch too ironic to stand.
And, not to plagiarize YOU, but it takes some EXTRA special idiot-parfait to NOT have noticed I said "any OTHER MJ and Peter Parker".
In case you missed it, the operative word there was OTHER. I am not aware of any OTHER two people in popular culture with those names/initials/monikers to whom the author was ACTUALLY referring. I AM aware, however, of who Mary Jane is. But the author added, "and I ain't talking about Spiderman here," meaning he was making a joke about someone else, and the only other "MJ" I know about off the top of my head is Michael Jackson. At best, I'm guessing "Peter Parker" in this case was a cute euphemism for Michael Jackson's dick.
So before you try and call someone out for being a dumbass, how's about you double-check they actually ARE being a dumbass, lest you make yourself look doubly-so like a dumbass. Dumbass.
Oh, and to add insult to injury, the author himself replied to my comment before, confirming it WAS in fact a Michael Jackson joke.
Now, if I were you, I'd go put some ice on that burn.
Still gonna update?
3239884
yes, just struggling with the next chapter. And with uni work.
3243635 yay, just to know lol
3253807
glad to see at least one person still wants to read one of my stories.
3255813
I'm very sure quite a few (including me) have your fic in their favorites, waiting patiently for the update. Take your time, you've done great so far.
3262238
thanks, next chapter is hard since A) I want to feature all 3 main characters. House, Wilson and Twilight. I also want to introduce some new characters, and start with the medicine. Doesn't help I had a story idea for a Sombra fic where we find out about his past in what I hope is a slightly more unique way. Which just got the first chapter up by the way :D
Can be found here http://www.fimfiction.net/story/130950/del-tango if you want to read something of mine while you wait for the next chapter of this.
I just read all the chapters, and I'm a big fan of house. I think you've done a good job on characterization, But I think you skipped Luna's reasoning for allowing house to get anywhere close to Celesta after what he did. Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think there was any mention in the story of house being interrogated at all so how would Luna know his qualifications even if it's just on his own word. Plus I think you've skipped little details like sleep, food, bathing. I know that on most TV shows those little details are skipped because usually you only got a half hour or an hour to tell the story, But in writing those details help character become more rounded, More human and relatable to the reader. As well as a sense of time moving. As you can probably tell from my comment I'm not a writer myself but I am a avid reader, and I look forward to seeing more chapters of the story in the future.
I have Favorited this story ,and will wait patiently for updates. Thank you.
3310183
An update is in the works.
And the reasons things like daily needs aren't in is A) that stuff generally happens in the gaps and B) Doesn't add much. Secondly, a full day hasn't passed yet, so doesn't need sleep.
Also, House said he dealt with difficult cases to luna when she visited his cell. That, plus some of her own reasons are why she wants House's help.
2 houses
THE UNIVERSE IS DOOMED!!!!!!
You just gave up halfway through this chapter trying to explain shit, didn't you. That's not even a question, it's a statement of fact if your story ever reads in dialogue for more than six, (and I'm being generous here), sentences.
3994890 Get out.
I may like you're stories, but seriously, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!