Art thieves? In Equestria? It's more likely than you'd think!

Once again, notorious big brain mare Rainbow Q. Dash has gotten herself into a mighty pickle, and it's up to her friends to help her unpickle herself!

You hear that? She's Pickle Rainbow!

(She's not actually Pickle Rainbow, no one says that, I don't know why I put that there.)

"...as a cry of anguish at the continuing failure of the world to see this lunacy* for what it is, more power to its elbow." - Loganberry, Louder Yay

Audiobook by The Mystery Fluttershy Fan!

On a winter morning in Ponyville, Rainbow Dash throws a snowball at Applejack.

Things escalate quickly.

Twilight Sparkle returns from a trip to Canterlot to discover the Castle of Friendship looking considerably worse for wear.

Who could have done this, and more importantly, why?

Written for the Bean's Writing Group prompt "Five Minutes Too Late". Cover art by Madmax.

An audio reading by Nailah can be found here.

Featured from 9-21 to 9-22-2021, peaking at the #5 spot. Thanks, everypony!

When Pinkie Pie learns that Twilight might be using sweetener as a sugar replacement, she does the only reasonable thing: investigate thoroughly and not jump to extremes.

Canterlot has strict princess preening protocols that all professional preeners must follow, and this booklet will ensure you learn to apply them properly. Written and published by the Equestrian Royal Society.

Now with a reading by StraightToThePointStudio!

When Twilight accepts Cheerilee's request for her to substitute teach, she quickly realizes the topic is "the birds and the bees". So, not wanting to let down her students, Twilight attempts to teach the subject to the best of her ability.

Sex tag is only there because the story dances delicately around the topic.

Don't want to read? Check out Clever Hooves' audio reading here!

Twilight is on the cusp of leading Equestria for a year. It's been an easy year with no major difficulties. No wars. No natural disasters. No villains.

At least until a villain from the far, far future appears in Twilight's throne room. She's escaping defeat at Twilight's hooves, with one thought in mind: she won't be stopped if Twilight doesn't exist in the future. And here's Twilight's past self, right in front of her. Easy.

Unfortunately, she's not the only villain with this idea.

Capitalizing on her reformation from being a former terror to Equestria, Starlight decided to start a group to help reintegrate former villains in Equestria, as well as offer support for those having trouble adapting. Thus far, her group has grown to include Tirek, Cozy Glow, Chrysalis, Stygian, and Luna. Unfortunately, these meetings stay about as on-topic as Pinkie Pie on a sugar rush giving a speech about the best kind of dessert.

This is the fifth meeting of the support group, and they find themselves with a new attendee: Fluttershy. Not to mention, it turns out that the former villains finding jobs or hobbies that suited their skills may not have had the best of consequences.

Will Starlight be able to help them all become model citizens? What sort of devious terrors have these former villains unknowingly wrought upon Equestria despite their best of intentions? Will Starlight ever learn just what it was Fluttershy did last Thursday? One thing's for sure, she's gonna need a pay raise at the end of all of this.

Rated T for some slight profanity.

Cover art made by Nevel Yashgi. Give the guy a follow over on Twitch, would you?

Proofread by 0_0, many thanks for that and the suggestions.

Featured on 17 February 2021. Thank you all kindly.
Featured on Equestria Daily, 07 April 2021. I'm glad this story made it.

Luna's still settling back into her full duties, and finding out she's somehow responsible for overseeing Equestria's annual freedom festival came as something of a shock. All she really knows about the holiday is that ponies like to celebrate it with explosions. Fireworks, cannonfire... somehow, her citizens have linked 'freedom' with 'stuff blowing up.' So if there's a citizen willing to blow herself up as part of the festivities -- well, what could possibly be more appropriate?

...it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Pinkie Pie is the richest pony in the history of Equestria. The secret to her wealth?

She has no idea.