• Member Since 8th May, 2012
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I fooled you. I fooled you. I got horse stories. I got horse stories. I got all horse stories.


Pinkie Pie is the richest pony in the history of Equestria. The secret to her wealth?

She has no idea.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 140 )

I imagine that she'll soon realize that she can have a party...FOREVER.

I was hoping to see Moon Dancer have a bit more of a role. She doesn't seem to actually do much, as Celestia and Luna had already figured out it was a single source before bringing her in.

hey great story i hope you do a squeal,where more ponies would find out


When measuring Pinkie Pie's wealth, a certain xkcd springs to mind...


Of course, this provides employment to every pony in Equestria and stimulates the economy to an alarming degree.

"Well yeah, I couldn't have a party that invited everypony and not make sure they enjoyed themselves could I?"

Ehhhhh... that’s not how net worth works.


*Thunderous Applause*

"With all this money, I could throw a party. A big party."

She turned back to Short Sell, her grin stretching from ear to ear. "The Ultimate Party."

Oh dear God, no.

So are they actually just using Pinkie as a fall guy, fall girl?

Because "We can't let the LEADERS OF THIS NATION know about us!" paranoia Short Shell has really makes it look like some super duper illegal shit is going on there. And having them both so quickly agree to never tell anyone about this seems too hasty.

Also having that much more money than everyone else, including the nation's royalty, in the hands of one person would actually be pretty bad for the economy, from what I understand. And that's also not how net worth works, I think.

This is the Ultimate Party, of Ultimate Destiny.

Is this, by any chance, a reference to Burton Malkiel and "A Random Walk Down Wall Street"?

"Pinkie!" Twilight snapped, "Do you not know what you have here?!"


"Stuff for what?"


"What do you think 'wealth' is?"

"Some kind of weird game."

"What kind of game?!"

"I dunno, but I'm pretty sure I'm winning."

You're not just winning, you're rewriting the rules as you go with that much money.

9224026 Only one will survive the sugar rush, I wonder who it will be? :trollestia:

Joking aside... the obvious explanation for this is Pinkie Sense. She can never make a wrong choice. NEVER.

This is the goal I have been seeking for so long... so many ages... (Alondro leers hungrily at Pinkie) Soon, the power shall be mine... (Alondro prepares to extract Pinkie's powers using delicious, magical SCIENCE!) :pinkiecrazy:

MOAR!! This story has GOT to have a sequel!!! You can't just throw in "Equestria Wide Party" and stop now!! T_T

She turned back to Short Sell, her grin stretching from ear to ear. "The Ultimate Party. "

the party that ends the world

"With all this money, I could throw a party. A bigparty."
She turned back to Short Sell, her grin stretching from ear to ear. "The Ultimate Party."

Oh... Oh no...

and not speak a word of this to anypony, even their majesties

She does realize one of said majesties is in the room with them, right? :derpytongue2:

I don't think you actually realize how much money they're talking about. Pinkie pretty much IS the world's economy. Some times over.

That much money is more power than any macguffin. Hell, the knowledge that there is a single person that rich would break the economy by itself.
And she most certainly pays taxes, because Pinkie.

༼ つ ◕_ ◕ ༽つ GIVE SEQUEL ༼ つ ◕_ ◕ ༽つ

The Sun Princess look down on


but way Celestia was acting

the way

She turned back to Short Sell, her grin stretching from ear to ear. "The Ultimate Party."

Oh, hell.

Short Sell, who is bound by Equestrian law, whose banking and investment practices are run on the Equestrian system, who is an Equestrian citizen, on Equestrian land, is hiding this from the Crown. This is not a constitutional monarchy, this is an absolute monarchy by nearly damn well divine right. The Crown literally owns her and everything she is and has and ever will be or have. Her secrets belong to the Crown. The Crown is just exceedingly benevolent and trusting and doesn't like exercising that power, apparently. So what is she doing, telling a component of the ruling body, "You can't tell your peers or anyone else." Like somehow her business policy can bind the ultimate authority in the land.

For that matter, if she were to abuse Pinkie's cash, she could BUY Equestria itself. The Crown needs to be aware of this potential threat. You can't have someone who has more power than the powerbase of the nation, who is not on explicitly the most perfect best buddy terms with said powerbase, keeping that power. Otherwise they can just take over if they disagree with you. Pinkie having this cash is one thing - she's everyone's friend and very well-meaning. Short Sell technically holding it for Pinkie, is one megalomaniac wet dream away from basically owning the world - and doesn't want any sort of oversight. (We saw this in one of the horrific timelines Starlight Glimmer created, where Equestria was owned by Flim and Flam's business empire.)

... All that said. Give 'em hell Pinks, make this party HAPPEN.

She turned back to Short Sell, her grin stretching from ear to ear. "The Ultimate Party. "

If there is whiskey, I am in.

Here's the thing, Pinkie has undoubtedly already invested into the party supplies market. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if she owns all of the party supplies in Equestria along with the businesses that sell and make them. If she exhausts half of her money buying all of this then she will just get it all right back because she owns all of the shops she bought supplies from. In fact this just might make her more money because then the supplies can't keep up with her demand for party supplies skyrocketing the value of the businesses she owns.

In conclusion, Pinkie will never run out of money even if she threw over nine thousand ultimate parties.

I had Ninja Sex Party's The Ultimate Sandwich getting rewritten.

So, do we blame Pinkie for ending the world or Twilight? Or the Princesses?

Heh, this reminds me of the time I changed banks to the one the rest of my family was using. I went to make a final withdrawal of all the money in my account to close it with my mom a few years back, and they looked at my account and told me I had something like "Fifty-Three, Twenty-eight", and asked if I wanted cash or check.

I said cash, thinking I was getting $53.28. Walk out with a 50 dollar bill and some pocket change. Easy peasy.

Turns out that way of saying it in banks really means $5,328.00. I figured that out when the clerk came and started counting the hundreds. Pity it all went to my college tuition in the end, but it was a funny day.


This story really needs a sequel to it. It's positivity hilarious! 😆

Go away, everyone, nothing to see here, just Pinkie being Pinkie.

Hey, does this mean that Pinkie can banish evil by throwing money at it? That'd be interesting.

Pinkie is going to cause the service industry to explode in really weird ways...... I don't know how that is gonna mess with the economy. Also this is somehow just perfectly Pinkie.:pinkiehappy:

Plus I almost feel like they were all fearing the day that she learned that she could do things with the money.

And at the far end of the room, Twilight saw she wasn't alone. Luna, and most surprisingly, Moon Dancer were hunched over a table, closely scrutinizing papers with glasses as they argued with each other.

Oh, there's no issue here. This is simply the Christmas Special.

Now is the big question : Who is richer Scourge McDuck or Pinkie Pie?

You will only ask the questions Ms. Pie is willing to answer, and then you will leave, and not speak a word of this to anypony, even their majesties. Is that clear?

"I am a Her Majesty."
"You're a Her Highness, and I will gnaw off your wings myself if you breathe a word of this to anypony else."

Hilarious stuff, though I can't help but feel you mismarketed it a little. Leaving the identity of the debt resolver a mystery in the description might have worked better. Still, aside from the skeeziness of keeping Pinkie's LODSAMONY a secret from the diarchs for no apparent reason, this was a very fun read. Thank you for it.

Before I read your comment, I had feared that Twilight had accidentally upset a terribly delicate equilibrium, and all of the Equestria, if not the world, would pay the price.

Now I think she accidentally saved both.

Figures Pinkie's so filthy stinking rich. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to finish my portal to Equestria so I can swindle Pinkie out of her fortune, return home, and live in the lap of luxery-uh, I mean, convince Pinkie to make totally legit investments...

Th-thats impossible .

I dunno man. Calculations were done based on facts from the old show. Scrooge had more money than had ever existed, in gold, by order of magnitudes.


Again, Pinkie.

Also, big shoutout to Chris the Blue for coming up with the title of this fic. It's just too perfect.

:twilightsheepish: "Pinkie... How did you get so wealthy?"
:pinkiehappy: "That's easy Twilight! Let me show you the chart!"
Step 1: PARTY!
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Profit!

:facehoof: "Pinkie... What's Step 2?
:pinkiecrazy: "I dunno!"


This is to my mind the best estimate of Scrooge McDuck's wealth. I go with option 3 at 12 Trillion dollars in his Money Bin, as it uses the blueprints. And we have to assume that that's only a part of his wealth, as he has companies and other assets.

Short Sell leaned forward. "What are you planning, Ms. Pie?"

"With all this money, I could throw a party. A big party."

She turned back to Short Sell, her grin stretching from ear to ear. "The Ultimate Party."


Thanks you had me laughing so hard the guys at work think I'm nuts now....... Maybe I am. :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

"I dunno, but I'm pretty sure I'm winning."

Just a little. :rainbowlaugh:

From the sound of the numbers this fic's throwing around, it's Pinkie. Without question. The sort of things suggested Pinkie could do with that money Scrooge McDuck couldn't even begin to consider. His supply of money may be massive, but it's still quite finite, and this is demonstrated a couple times in DuckTales lore. Pinkie's wealth, however, is presumably still finite technically, but it's at so many orders of magnitude larger that it might as well be infinite.

And that's without taking into consideration how much more income Pinkie could be making in the meantime, continuously adding to that supply. It wouldn't at all surprise me if she's actually making more money way way WAY faster than she could ever spend it. Again, not something McDuck could claim (though he'd love it if he ever could).

Is the title a reference to Jeff Dunham?

Why do I imagine Pinkie throwing away her money for lifetime of party supplies and equipment. Is that how she is able to fund them so well


Exactly. The Crown is already trusted with supreme executive power in Equestria, and no other nation in the world seems to be trying to kill them to take control of the heavens, so clearly the rest of the world trusts them to keep the planet from freezing/burning. They are already trusted with the survival of all life on their planet. The Crown should be the ones managing these finances for Pinkie, how Pinkie wants.

Not some random in a nondescript that is specifically hiding from said benevolent supreme authority. The fact she tried so hard to hide, to the point of brushing off one of her supreme rulers rudely, then flaunting her little business policy at, proves she's up to no good or has designs on Pinkie's wealth for herself. Otherwise, what purpose does she have to hide her business and the fact she manages Pinkie's money from the people who allow that money to have ANY value in the first place? Celestia and Luna can just declare they're switching currencies. Will it cause issues? Sure. But it would mean Short Sell can't buy out Equestria if they make the exchange rate purposefully ridiculous for those with total wealth over a certain amount. Ten billion bits for half a buck in the new currency, see what that does.

Twilight can prevent any and all of these potential issues. And, honestly, Pinkie'd probably do something to 'fix' the meaniepants' outlook on life, money, and Equestria. Possibly party-related.

Massive Orichaculm production and war bonds?

Picking at random and being successful, means Pinkie has Maxwells Demon fully working for her.

I think the algorithms might be found in HEX, the Chaos Computer.:pinkiecrazy:

I didn't know I could actually use all this stuff for something.

Twilight Sparkle, what have you done.

I don't think that's quite the point.

Pinkie Pie can do anything, so long as it ends up being funny.

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