If you came to hear a story, I’m sorry to disappoint. I suspect this’ll just end up as one big confession, really. When you’re the first Teutscher to set hoof into Equestria, I suppose that’s to be expected. And when you’re the universe’s favorite chew toy, doubly so. Still, with enough wit, some Prussian ingenuity, a droll sense of humor, and wanton murder, I might just survive this. Then again, when you’re going up against an unending list of things like government conspiracies, that guardian angel who keeps telling you to kill ponies, psycho Equestrian girls with allophilia, a lunatic princess, the legions of the Inferno, the Equestrian culture itself, swashbuckling sword fights, and laissez-faire economists, you begin to realize why there’s a big “if” in the middle of your life.

Your thoughts/critiques/deathreats are welcome in the comments. Spoilers are also encouraged. If you don’t have anything to complain about, do please tell me what you liked so I know what worked.

Now on TV Tropes. Posted on the Equestria Daily 5/28/13. Now in ePub format for your convenience.

This story is a sequel to Apotheosis

Celestia leaves Equestria in the hooves of Luna and Twilight.

While she searches among the gods to answer her questions, Luna and Twilight must struggle to fulfill their own duties to ponies and to Equestria.
Now with a Spanish translation by SPANIARD KIWI: https://www.deviantart.com/spaniard-kiwi/art/Apoteosis-3-3-857110357

This story is a sequel to Off The Edge Of The Map

When Twilight is sent with Luna on a diplomatic mission to Draconia, they quickly find themselves somewhere that doesn't appear on any map, and Luna is lost in more than one way...

Thanks to RBDash47 of Pony Fiction Archive for formatting it for submission.
Title image by Valcron

Tremendous thanks to Illya Leonov and Scribbler for the Audiobook version.
Now with a Spanssh translation by SPANIARD KIWI: https://www.deviantart.com/spaniard-kiwi/art/Apoteosis-2-3-857110089

One would think that the wounded Trixie would appreciate Twilight Sparkle taking her in to nurse her back to health. But for some ponies, leaning on someone else isn't so easy. Their crossing of paths sets them both on a journey that neither of them would've expected...

This story is a sequel to Vanilla Twilight

Rainbow Dash has a problem.

She might be in love with Twilight Sparkle and has yet to admit it to anypony, least of all Twilight herself. After the events of Vanilla Twilight, the two have grown much closer together, spending more time together and sharing their interests. Unfortunately for Dash, Twilight hasn't caught on to her feelings yet, and she could be content with just letting things progress as they are...

If only she hadn't sent that blasted letter admitting it.

Now, thanks to a pair of meddling princesses, Rainbow Dash finds herself on a globe-trotting journey with the subject of her affections. On the surface, it might just seem like a simple task for the Princess, but for Rainbow Dash, it might be the very thing that forces her to come clean with her feelings, or forever face her doubts. For her, in the world of life and love, sometimes it's best to take it one dream and disaster at a time.

Main Course is a successful chef and restaurant owner. Or he was, anyway, until a fire tore up his life's work and left him adrift. When he visits his sister in the rural backwater town of Ponyville, he discovers an abandoned building that's perfect for a quick fix-up so he can flip it for a profit. But the building comes with an unforeseen tenant, and when he lets her stick around he discovers that maybe, just maybe, there's something out there more important than wealth and fame.

When a dark enemy begins hunting the young wizard Twilight Sparkle, the walls of the fortress library of Candlekeep cannot protect her. Not even her mentor, the archmage Star Swirl the Bearded, can keep her safe. With a price on her head and the shadow of death on her heels, her only hope for salvation is the Magic of Friendship. Perhaps, with powerful allies at her side, she can find answers and uncover the truth about her destiny.

(This story is inspired by the Baldur's Gate CRPG series by Bioware, but you do not have to be familiar with BG to understand its events)

Featured on Equestria Daily
Cover by Bluest Ayemel
"I love this fic. Keep it up!" – Sethisto (on the EQD page)
"From it's fantastic character development of Twilight and fast pace and exciting action, The Sword Coast is an excellently written and well thought-out story." – Amy Clockwork

Side stories: Tales of the Sword Coast
Sequel: Shadows of the Crystal Empire
Warning: Comments contain spoilers. Proceed at your own risk.

She couldn't have made it herself. A solitary bookkeeper, long disillusioned with the "dream job" of maintaining the Canterlot archive, becomes the unwitting guide to a panicked Princess of the Night in the deepest recesses of their voluminous libraries.

Deep underneath the shelves and scroll racks, through the perilous and twisting caverns and gnarled trap-laden corridors, he realizes she isn't just seeking a getaway from the pedantic Canterlot politics. She's seeking to destroy an evil as old as the night sky itself. An evil that...well, she couldn't have made it herself...

Monster attacks. Crime. Illegal hallucinogens made from electric fruit.

They say things didn't use to be like this. They say things were different, before Luna came back 60 years ago, but Detective Hard "Hardy" Boiled of the Detrot Police Department has never known any world other than that demarcated by the seedy streets of his beloved decaying metropolis; a world in which the coroners sing and dance, surveillance bugs have personality disorders, and the Chief of Police is a scarier entity than most of the eldritch things the city attracts.

The grey unicorn who turned up dead outside the posh High Step Hotel seemed like just another case, but her missing horn is the pointy tip of a very large and nasty iceberg. It's up to Hardy and his friends - a rejected monster hunter, a psychic cab driver, and an underground antiques heir - to find out what’s going on in an investigation that promises to stick more than a cupcake into the very eye of Detrot.

Especially if Hardy has anything to say about it.

By Popular Demand, there is now a Patreon

Additional editing by coandco Sig_Awesome, Hinds, Clint, and Raccoon!
Featured on EQD - 5 Stars!
Cover art by MisterMech (http://mistermech.deviantart.com/)
Now with TVTropes page here!