“Eyes On You”
Chapter twelve: Showmare's Flaunt
“What about 'The Amazing and Magical Twilight'?” Trixie offered as she took another bite of her pancake.
The lavender unicorn across the table from her adopted a doubtful frown. “I don't know... it doesn't exactly flow like yours does.”
“Hmm, I guess not...” Trixie racked her brain. “Then what about 'The Pretty and Mysterious Twilight'?”
As intended, that brought a timid little smile to Twilight's face, and she averted her eyes in favour of fiddling with her fork. “It's a little... presumptuous, I think. And I'm not really very mysterious, am I?”
Trixie rolled her eyes. “Alright, fine. You try one.”
Surely enough, Twilight's face lit up into a grin and she looked back up at Trixie. She'd probably been waiting for that invitation all morning...
“I was thinking more along the lines of 'The Educated and Well-Read Twilight',” said the purple unicorn cheerily.
Trixie's hoof met her face. Somepony didn't quite grasp the concept of coming up with an exciting title. She was spared the bother of telling Twilight as much by loud, ground-shaking thump from outside.
Both unicorns turned their eyes to the door, which creaked open just enough for a grey-coated snout to poke through, bearing a letter in its teeth. “Urgent mail for Trixie Lulamoon!” came the muffled voice of the mailmare.
Eyebrows raised in surprise, Trixie reached out with her magic and grasped the letter. “Er... thank you?” she guessed as she tugged it gently from the pony's grip.
“My pleasure!”
With that, the grey snout disappeared and the door clicked shut behind it, leaving Trixie to levitate the letter over to their breakfast table.
“Urgent mail?” Twilight repeated, raising an eyebrow. “Who's it from?”
Trixie shrugged as she magically broke the official-looking wax seal on the envelope and removed the letter within. A brief glance at the document was enough to reveal that it was from Manehattan – those ponies who were organising the Manehattan Display, to be exact.
She smiled and waved Twilight over. The bookish mare tilted her head in question as she rose to her hooves and trotted around the table to stand beside Trixie, who held the letter so that both of them could see it.
“Dear Miss Trixie Lulamoon,” Twilight read aloud. “We are delighted to hear that you and your partner will be competing in the Manehattan Display this year. The purpose of this letter is to provide you with information on important dates and times pertaining to the event, and also regarding special benefits granted to competitors...”
The letter revealed that the opening ceremony for the event would begin at midnight in just under two weeks' time, and that they would need to be in Manehattan ready for their introduction on the following morning. Apparently, it was there that they would receive the details regarding the first event.
“Oh, look – we get to stay in a hotel!” said Twilight excitedly, pointing a hoof at something further down the page. “...'Reservations have been made for all competitors to stay in Manehattan's 'Pegasus Down Hotel' for the week-long duration of the event – one room per pair...'” She looked over at Trixie with a wide smile. “It looks like we're going to be roommates!”
Trixie read the section herself to make sure, then returned Twilight's smile. Secretly, the showmare was just as excited about the prospect as Twilight was. Why, though, she wasn't sure. Sleeping in the same room wouldn't be a whole lot different from just sleeping in the same house, would it?
Except, Trixie thought with a smirk, that she'd have a smiling view of Twilight looking back at her as she drifted off to sleep each night...
“...What're you looking at?” said Twilight, furrowing a brow in mock suspicion and mimicking the smirk.
“Nothing,” said Trixie calmly. She held the gaze and the smirk for a long moment, until Twilight started to look adorably uncomfortable. Then, satisfied, the showmare blinked mercifully and turned her attention back to the letter. “...Looks like we're going to have to make our own travel arrangements.”
“I could arrange for a horse-drawn carriage,” said Twilight. “I've never been to Manehattan other than by chariot, but I've heard it's a nice journey on the ground.”
Trixie nodded, only half-listening. She found herself staring blankly at the letter – at her name upon it and the official seal and signature on the bottom. She gave a little half-smile as the reality started to set in...
Beside her, Twilight cocked her head. “Trixie? Is something wrong?”
“No, not wrong,” said Trixie dreamily. “It's just... I'm really going to compete in the Display.”
Twilight stayed silent for a long moment. When she did speak, it was with a warm smile in her voice. “You deserve it, Trixie. I know how much it means to you, and I'm glad I can help.”
Trixie smiled heartily and magically folded up the letter. “I know, Twilight. I'm glad too.”
“But don't forget about Flaire either,” said Twilight. “He's the one who got you the invitation, after all.”
Trixie chuckled as she slipped the letter back inside its envelope. “Believe me, Twilight, I have no intention of forgetting him,” she said with a dark cheer in her voice. In fact, she had a special thank you in mind for him – which involved wiping the floor with him in front of thousands of cheering spectators...
“Um... good?” Twilight guessed, clearly a little unnerved by Trixie's demeanour.
The showmare simply turned to smirk at her.
“A-Anyway,” said Twilight hurriedly. “If we've only got less than two weeks left before the event, we should probably be practising rather than sitting around talking, right?”
Picking up on the not-at-all-subtle change of subject, Trixie stifled a giggle. “Yes, I suppose we should be. So, what's on your infamous checklist for this morning? More hoofball practise?”
Twilight shook her head and strode around the table to where her last few pancakes still sat on their plate. “Actually, I was hoping we could do something else today--” She idly dug her fork into a pancake and glanced up at Trixie. “--Something I was hoping you could teach me.”
Trixie raised an eyebrow. “And what could the Great and Powerful Trixie possibly have to teach the Educated and Well-Read Twilight Sparkle?” she teased.
The lavender unicorn prodded her pancake a couple more times, avoiding Trixie's gaze. “...I've never performed on stage before, not like you have,” she began quietly. “I don't know anything about being a showmare.”
“What's to know? You just go out there and flaunt yourself to the crowd,” said Trixie with a shrug.
Twilight managed to look up. “Well, that's what you do, sure. But I've never really... flaunted myself before--” Her cheeks reddened a little, either out of embarrassment for the fact or the word. She gulped and shook her head to reassert herself before continuing. “So, I was hoping that you could teach me. You know, to... to show off.”
Trixie blinked. With all Twilight Sparkle's knowledge and talent, she'd never once thought to learn how to show it off... It was almost ridiculous. But then again, this was Twilight Sparkle – she wasn't exactly a normal mare.
As another smirk made its way onto the azure unicorn's face, she gave an amused grunt. “That, Twilight Sparkle, I can do...”
* * *
Trixie had never really taught anyone... well, anything before, so she didn't know the first thing about how she was going to do this. And, considering that Twilight's previous teacher had been Princess Celestia herself, Trixie had a lot to live up to. Of course, she wasn't about to let that stop her.
She hastily decided that they would need a stage to practise upon and set about arranging the reading tables against a wall, to buy herself some time to think. When she'd finished with that, she had Twilight stand atop it and wait while she, Trixie, found the perfect spot from which to play 'the audience'. And, after several, long minutes of searching, she found it directly in front of centre stage, much to Twilight's annoyance.
At long last, Trixie settled herself down onto a reading stool and looked up at Twilight, who was now shuffling her hooves against the wood and glancing down over the edge of the stage. “It's kind of high...” the bookish unicorn observed with a nervous frown.
“That's so that you can look down on your audience, and so that the ponies in back can see you better,” said Trixie sagely. She smiled to herself as Twilight nodded in understanding – maybe this teaching wasn't going to be that difficult after all.
“Okay, so what do I do now?” said Twilight.
Trixie frowned in thought for a second. “The first thing you do when you get on stage is... introduce yourself!”
Twilight gave her a questioning look. “Just... introduce myself?”
The showmare nodded.
“...Okay.” Twilight cleared her throat, drew herself up a little and took a breath before giving Trixie her most welcoming smile. “Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle. I'm a student, under the tutelage of Princess Celestia, currently studying friendship in the small town of Ponyvi--”
“Twilight,” Trixie interrupted, deadpan.
Twilight licked her lips and pointed at Trixie. “Um, question?”
Trixie's hoof met her face for the second time that morning and, she had a feeling, not for the last. “Twilight, when I said 'introduce yourself', I meant--” She paused, not quite sure how to explain it. “--Er... Do you remember my magic show?”
“The one you held in Ponyville?” Twilight guessed.
“No, the one I held when we met in Trottingham,” said Trixie with a roll of her eyes.
“But... I've never been to--” Twilight broke off as she saw the look Trixie was giving her. “Oh, right... sorry. Yes, I remember your show... sort of.”
Trixie smiled. “Good. Then I assume you remember my entrance?”
“Well, it's kind of hard to forget that,” said Twilight, waving a hoof. “You definitely made an impression.”
“Exactly!” said Trixie proudly. “That's what you need to do – make an impression on the audience. Make it short, snappy and powerful. Show them that you mean business!”
Twilight gulped and nodded shortly. “I mean business... okay, got it. Just give me a second.” She turned her eyes to the ground and started mouthing silently to herself. Trixie folded her fetlocks and rolled her eyes as she waited.
Eventually, Twilight looked back up with a smile on her face, declaring that she was ready. She drew herself up again and cleared her throat. And, when she spoke, it was with a lot more volume and fervour than before...
“Citizens of Manehattan!” she called out, snout high and eyes determined. “Prepare to feast your eyes on... on the most studious and magical unicorn in... um... i-in all of Equestria!”
She finished by throwing a hoof outwards in a kind of clumsy salute, which prompted a little giggle from Trixie. Hearing this, Twilight let out her own breath, shaking with laughter herself.
“Th-That was good,” said Trixie after a moment, raising a hoof to her lips to steady herself.
“It was silly!” Twilight corrected her between giggles. “Yours didn't sound anything like that!”
The showmare shook her head with a smile. “You can't expect to be as Great and Powerful as Trixie on your first try. After all, this is Trixie's talent!”
“S-Speaking of which,” said Twilight, finally managing to regain control of her voice. “Do I have to start talking in third person? Or is that more of a... stylistic choice?”
Even though Twilight had clearly meant that as a joke, Trixie's smile wavered a little. “No,” she said, avoiding Twilight's eyes. “That's really just my thing...”
“...Sorry?” Twilight guessed, biting her lip.
Trixie shook her head and got to her hooves. Eager to change the subject, she forced as smile and trotted forwards. Her previously injured hoof gave her no trouble as she clambered up onto the stage and turned to face her partner, who was now giving her a quizzical stare.
“Forget that,” said Trixie, her smile turning to a smirk. “Come here, let's work on that entrance of yours.”
* * *
It wasn't difficult to get into the whole practise-and-improve routine. Twilight would try something, Trixie would critique or show an example of how it was supposed to be done, then Twilight would correct herself accordingly. Not every attempt was as amusing as the first but, overall, the exercise was a lot of fun.
For hours, they played, on and off of their makeshift stage, their practise punctuated here and there by bouts of laughter and playful teasing. The morning passed almost without them noticing, and neither of them so much as considered stopping for lunch as they moved straight on from dramatic introductions to emotive casting, with which Twilight had equal amounts of trouble...
Trixie couldn't remember the last time she'd enjoyed herself so much.
“--No, that's still too plain! You need to rear up and throw out your hooves – show the audience that you know how Great and Powerful you are!” said Trixie with a wide smile. “I'll show you. Watch closely.”
The showmare motioned for Twilight to take a step back, which she did whilst smiling expectantly. Trixie turned to face their imaginary audience, shuffled her hooves and cleared her throat. She gave it a good three count, then channelled magic into her horn as she reared up.
“Watch in awe!” she cried, throwing wide her forehooves and sending a magical firework into the air. It struck the ceiling and exploded into a rain of multi-chrome sparkles that floated down around Trixie like snowflakes. Having practised the trick several times in front of a mirror, Trixie didn't have to see herself to know how amazing it looked.
When she touched down and the last of the sparkles had faded, Trixie turned to her partner with a smirk. Twilight had an excited glint in her eye.
“Come on – we'll try it together,” Trixie prompted, beckoning Twilight towards her. The lavender unicorn trotted forwards without hesitation to stand beside Trixie, casting her a warm smile.
“I'm ready,” said Twilight brightly.
“Got a spell in mind?” asked Trixie.
Twilight nodded.
Satisfied, Trixie gave her one last smirk before turning towards the audience again. “Alright, on three. One... Two... Three!”
Together, they kicked off with their forehooves in perfect time, horns lighting up as they did. “Watch in awe!” they yelled, their voices intermingling to make a strangely amusing harmonic.
Trixie let off her spell, the same as before, just as Twilight cast her own. Whether it was the combination of spells that did it, or whether it was just Twilight getting overexcited, Trixie didn't know, but something brought about a blinding flash in front of them...
Caught completely off guard, Trixie let out a loud, pained yelp as her vision went black and she started stumbling around to keep her balance. The flash had caught Twilight too, judging by her own yelp and the sound of clumsy hoofsteps.
Trixie's hoof slipped from the table just as Twilight bumped into her and they instinctively grabbed hold of one another...
The next thing Trixie knew, she was on her back with one hoof caught under something and with something else wrapped around one of her hind legs. She gave a little groan, only to find that it morphed into a chuckle at the strange warmth she was feeling. Somepony else was giggling too, a familiar mare's voice.
'I must've hit my head,' Trixie thought, which somehow only served to make the whole thing seem funnier.
The tangled showmare brought her one free forehoof up to her eyes and rubbed them, trying to clear the darkness. As the haze began to fade, she blinked into view an equally dazed-looking Twilight Sparkle.
When Trixie had regained her bearings, she found that her forehoof was trapped underneath Twilight, and that said bookish mare had both of her hind legs wrapped around one of Trixie's. To say that the position was awkward was a bit of an understatement.
Their eyes met. Trixie bit her lip to fight off the aching urge to burst into laughter again. For her part, Twilight was still snickering a little, though she was obviously trying to manage a look of concern. “A-Are you... alright?” Twilight asked between snickers.
Trixie gulped and nodded confirmation, her smile threatening to escape her face. She felt perfectly fine, if she didn't count feeling a little dizzy, and it looked as if her partner was in the same boat. Even so, part of her wanted to ask if Twilight was okay, though she feared that opening her mouth would just give way to the bubbling laughter in her stomach...
“G-Good,” said Twilight, before Trixie could make up her mind. They stared at each other for a long moment, waiting for Twilight's giggles to die down. When, at last, they did, the lavender unicorn held her smile as she said, in a mock pout, “I'm not very Great and Powerful, Trixie.”
The showmare gave her own snort of laughter at that, but the dams didn't break. Instead, the laughter drew out into a happy sigh, and the rush of mirth brought with it the strangest impulse.
Gingerly as she dared, Trixie brought a hoof up to the side of Twilight's head. The lavender unicorn didn't say anything, nor did she give Trixie any questioning looks. She just pursed her lips and waited.
As Trixie touched her hoof to Twilight's mane, all of her reservations seemed to fade away. A warm feeling spread down through her fetlock and into her chest as she ran her touch through the tidy, striped mane. It was unsurprisingly sleek and soft to the touch, like brushing a cloud or a fluffy critter.
When she reached the end, she brought her hoof back up to Twilight's ear and swept it through again, falling into a quiet, dreamlike rhythm.
Twilight didn't object. Her lips curled up into a smile as she stared at Trixie with her eyes that were so like those which looked back at the showmare in the mirror each morning. No... the same colour, perhaps, but they were different. Warmer. More... sparkly.
Trixie's mind was blank – she probably had a concussion. But that was okay. She was content to just lay there for the seconds or minutes that she did and simply to brush her hoof through Twilight's perfectly-kept hair. Until--
“Hey, Twilight,” came Spike's voice, accompanied by the sound of a door opening. “I'm back early, just got to pick up my-- Whoa!” He broke off, presumably catching sight of them. “Are you guys okay?!”
Twilight drew a sharp breath, as if snapped out of a daze. She blinked rapidly and craned her neck to look towards Spike, instantly breaking whatever spell that Trixie had been under. The showmare quickly withdrew her hoof and followed Twilight's eyes to the concerned looking baby dragon stood half-way across the room.
“W-We're fine, Spike,” said Twilight, unsubtly disentangling her hind legs. “I tripped and Trixie tried to catch me. No damage done.”
Spike huffed in relief. “Oh, good. Well, like I said, I've just got to grab something and I'll be out of your hair.” Just like that, he started off towards the staircase, leaving Trixie to wonder what had just happened.
Well, she knew what had just happened, of course... and, if she was honest, she knew why it had happened as well. What she really began to wonder was what might've happened if not for the interruption...
Spike stopped suddenly at the bottom of the stairs. He cast a questioning look back at them. “Er... sorry, but what's with the tables?” he asked.
Shaking herself back to the present, Trixie was quick to extricate her hoof from beneath Twilight and get to her hooves. “I-It's a stage, dragonling,” she said. “We were practising.”
Spike creased his brow. “Practising? For what?”
Trixie smirked and furrowed an eyebrow as she turned to Twilight, wondering how the silly dragon could possibly have such terrible powers of deduction. For her part, Twilight had just about managed to stand herself up, and was simply smiling over at Spike. “Just a magic show, Spike. Nothing to worry about,” she said off-hoofedly.
The dragonling blinked. So did Trixie.
“...Oh. Okay,” Spike said, giving a little shrug. With that, he turned to make his way up the stairs, leaving Trixie to stare blankly at Twilight.
The lavender unicorn casually brushed her chest off with a hoof before turning to offer Trixie a smile.
“...He doesn't know?” said Trixie quizzically.
“Doesn't know what?” said Twilight.
Trixie cocked her head. “About the Display. Haven't you told him?”
“Um, well... no--” Twilight mimicked the head tilt. “--Like I said, it's nothing for him to worry about. I'm just going to Manehattan for a week.”
“...And you don't think you should tell him that you're going to compete in one of the most prestigious magical talent shows of all time?” said Trixie doubtfully. A frown crossed her face as a worrying thought occurred to her. “You are sure that you want to go through with this... aren't you?”
Twilight nodded emphatically and adopted a serious expression. “Of course! I really am! I just don't want anyone to think that it's a big deal.”
Trixie's frown deepened. “It's a big deal to me.”
Twilight's face lit up red as she started stammering. “I-I... That's not what I... I didn't mean--”
“Got it! See ya later, Twilight and Trixie!” Spike called out as he made his way down the stairs and to the door. “Have fun with your practise, or whatever!”
Trixie turned to him, and Twilight gulped down her stammering to flash him a smile. “Bye, Spike!” they called together. The door closed, and they turned back to one another. Twilight still looked as if she wasn't sure what to say... but she didn't really need to say anything.
“It's okay,” said Trixie with a shake of the head. “I know you didn't mean it like that... sorry.”
Twilight took a breath to calm herself. “It's a big deal to me too, Trixie. I just meant that I don't want it to become a big deal for my friends – something they think they have to worry about or... or help with or something... Do you know what I mean?”
“...No. Not really,” said Trixie honestly.
Twilight hung her head and sighed.
And then Trixie smiled. “But that's okay,” she said. “Your friends are your department. We'll keep it a secret if that's what you think is best--” She paused and adopted a lopsided smile. “--Of course, when we win, they're going to hear about it anyway.”
The lavender unicorn gave a little smile at that. “I guess you have a point, there...” She slowly turned to look up at Trixie.
As their eyes locked again, Trixie unconsciously gulped – her mouth suddenly went strangely dry. “...For me,” she began, pausing to lick her lips. “It's enough to know... that you care.”
Silence fell over the lobby as the two stared at each other. Trixie's face turned red with embarrassment as she immediately regretted her choice of words and averted her eyes in a hurry. She tried to think of some way to take it back without... taking it back.
“Th... That sounded better in my head,” Trixie muttered, which made the whole situation so much less awkward...
Another moment passed in silence.
And then Trixie felt a hoof against her chin.
Twilight Sparkle guided the azure unicorn's head upwards, until their eyes met. She was smiling, but not in amusement. It was more of a kind, understanding smile, and it made Trixie's breath catch in her throat.
“I know what you mean,” said Twilight softly.
And she did. Even if Trixie didn't really know herself, she had distinct feeling that Twilight did. It was weird... a little scary, maybe. She wasn't sure what to think, but she knew one thing for certain – there was something new about the way that Twilight was smiling at her.
For a fleeting moment, she felt seconds away from figuring it out, and then--
“Sorry guys,” came Spike's voice again. “I just need to get one more--”
“Spike!” they snapped together, moment thoroughly annihilated.
* * *
(Joke) Alt. Title: Run On You
And because I feel like it:
Oh Spike, ruining romantic moments since 1982.
Wouldn't it be more of a title than a nickname?
Got to* her hooves.
Great chapter. You are building their relationship well. I can't wait to see where this goes. Keep it up.
Woohoo! New chapter!
I absolutely love the fumbling interactions between them, sweet, inexperienced (and Trixie still does appear to be inexperienced, despite this Flaire douche) totally lost in each other. This chapter brought me many D'awws. Although, are we supposed to have developed a dislike for Flaire already? Because, honestly, every little mention of him has made him sound kind of... Sleazy, I suppose is a good word.
In short, this is one of the best Twixie fics I've read in regards to the development of romance (kinda tired of suddenly "Oh, we're in luuuurve!"), it's got solid mechanics, regular updates, and most importantly of all, it's fun to read. Thanks for another enjoyable chapter, I look forward to the next one.
Although, Twilight really should tell her friends. She doesn't seem to have considered that they, y'know, might want to watch one of their friends participate in the most prestigious magical show in all of Equestria...
Twilight, you're too modest for your own good.
Lovely to see these too continue to practice for this Display. You're building to something big and I'm awaiting its delivery.
Ah, yes. The awkward moment. What would a pudding relationship be without it?
Damn it spike
So close, SO BLOODY CLOSE!!
Great story thus far. It became an instant favorite even before I read the first chapter. Looking forward to the next update!
SPIKE YOU COCK BLOCKER!
*Teleports Spike about a billion miles away* Ladies, continue. *Ahem* Good to see Twilight needing help from Trixie with this. She is the expert, after all.
All hail the Tiny and Aggravating Spike, Master of Moment Mangling!
Spiiiiiiiiiiike! Argh! //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Spike_lolface.png
RD set him up to do that didn't she.... //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rainbow_Dash_lolface.png
Ha! Total cock block by Spike.
God damit spike way to kill the moment Twice!
Any way i really like how the story is progressing.
And it feels like your setting it up for some thing big and i cant wait!
Keep up the good work! :D
Shoot, they were so close! Spike!
Okay, so firstly, I found out about the release of this chapter during lunch break this morning at school (about 13 hours ago), and I was literally freaking out, and my friends thought I was crazy or something... But there's nothing crazy about letting yourself loose over something you like, right? Well, anyhow, I read this chapter at lunch, but never had the chance to comment on it because I was on a mobile device.
Ahem, besides that, I just wanted to say... THIS WAS AN AMAZING CHAPTER FULL OF CUTENESS AND ROMANCE / ROMANTIC DEVELOPMENT. I swear, at this very moment, I'm shipping Twixie harder than ever before, and it's all thanks to you, good sir.
One of the things that I had a problem with while reading this chapter was the pacing. I felt like the first half of the chapter was rather slow and kind of dragged on for a little bit-- but not much. When I was reading this, my attention was quickly lost. To be frank, it just felt like it dragged on, but it really didn't. I suppose it's because your other chapters were slightly more eventful (for lack of a better word), and so when things dragged on, nobody would notice because of how exciting and cute it was. On the other hand, for this chapter, everything kind of slowed down.
And the other thing that bothered me were the perspectives. The title points out that this is being told in Trixie's point of view, and this was well portrayed for the first half of the story, but more so, starting from the 'Twilight tripping' scene, the readers really don't get to see much of Trixie's thoughts. Sure, we get to see what Trixie's seeing and occasionally, what she's thinking, however, it just feels like we zoomed out of Trixie's heart. Her inner thoughts and feelings were, if at all, rarely shown towards the end. In my opinion, the end of this chapter was probably the most important part regarding romantic development within this chapter (yay for repetition). Like, maybe Trixie felt her heart racing when Twilight placed a hoof under her chin (er, not trying to decide how Trixie feels in your story. This is more so of an example ).
Well, to be frank, the whole perspective thing isn't too bad. I'm only able to point out minor mistakes in this story at the moment, so this means you're doing a great job~ Ah, it's 1:22 am right now. I'm 100% sure my comment is like, grammatically incorrect. In my defense, it was finals week. I have the right to feel like my brain just died! Well, anyhow, can't wait for the next chapter!
...
And as always, keep up the good work!
My first thought was that Trixie showing Twilight-grade obliviousness about her own feelings was odd and didn't suit her well. But then again, everything she knew in her life were more impersonal and public emotions from her fans and crowd.
A weird idea... Could it be that one of the girls is unconsciously using her magic to set up all these tripping moments?
Anyway, it was another great chapter. Thank you for updating so soon, I know how hard could it be to keep a writing schedule!
Spike: The clop blocker.
2019369 2019531 2019566 2019725 2020349 2020679 2023663 2028442 All these comments made me chuckle, I'm sure you'll all appreciate a moustache with that blasted dragon behind it: But really, he just 'forgot his keys'! He totally didn't do it on purpose. Twice...
2019390 Title is the word I was looking for, but I couldn't find it Thank you! For pointing out the typo and for your kind words as well.
2019496 Thanks very much! It's always good to hear when someone likes the way the romance is developing - it's reassuring to know that I'm not rushing things (or drawing them out too much).
If you listen to Trixie, you're bound to get a very negative opinion of Flaire, because that's how she's painting him (even in her mind, because she's obviously biased against him for one reason or another). Whether he's really like that or not, you'll find out soon! Also, Twilight's still got some time yet to tell her friends about the event... more on that next chapter!
2019524 I'm very excited about writing the Display - according to my best laid plans, it's going to be awesome The pacing of the 'getting there' part is going to be tricky though... I've got to find a balance between building it up and... well, actually getting to it Thanks, as always!
2019536 Thank you very much, I'm looking forward to writing that update
2019648 She certainly is! By the time the Display comes around, Twilight will be a full-blown showmare! Or maybe not, but she'll have fun learning Thanks!
2019996 It would, yes It is technically a horse tranquilizer, because they're all little horses, but from their point of view it's 'just a tranquilizer', just as a horseshoe would be 'just a shoe'. Frankly, I just like the way 'horse tranquilizer' sounds, in the context.
2021243 Thank you for the kind words! I'm looking forward to writing the rest.
2024496 Thank you. It's definitely hard, especially when there are days when I'm staring at the screen for hours and trying to figure out why words aren't magically appearing like they're supposed to Using magic to set up tripping moments? Twilight and Trixie have absolutely no idea what you mean... But yes, somepony is bound to wake up to their feelings soon, considering how strong they're getting. Won't be long now!
2024107 To know that I've inspired more Twixie shipping and made you freak out in front of your friends all with one update is a great feeling! Anyway, first let me thank you for the comment as usual. I've already read through your feedback and made a couple of additions/edits to the later parts of the chapter - hopefully that's an improvement in the 'showing Trixie's thoughts' department.
As for the pacing, I'm inclined to agree that this chapter was a lot less 'eventful' than the others. Except, maybe, chapter 2, which was really just Trixie laying in bed monologuing But that was okay (not with me, but apparently with everyone else) because it was the beginning of the story and everything, including Trixie's perspective, was new. It's not anymore, so I guess that's why it seems slow and dull.
In all honesty, nothing major happens in this chapter because I wanted to show that there doesn't have to be a serious problem (Trixie's injury) to overcome, or a love triangle getting in the way, in order for Twilight and Trixie to develop romantically. Time together is all they need. Time apart would probably do just as well at this point. They're well and truly falling now, and I just wanted to try and portray that.
The moment has annihilated for great justice...damn it Spike~!
Wow, that one is a keeper. One of the more...ehem...close calls and I think that there will be more where that came from. Nevertheless I want to whip with my whip to make you write them chapters faster.
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Okay, wow, I think this is my first time commenting before 12 am.
Anyhow, re-reading the chapter right now to look for your changes. Also, oh gosh, 'in bed monologuing'. I had to go back to chapter 2 to see what you were talking about.
I don't really have much to say right now, seeing as how you've fixed things up and explained the pacing. I'm really loving the story, and I can't wait to see where it goes. EoY is probably my favourite ponyfic, and on my top five all-time favourite fics list.
Can't wait to see where you're going with this~
And as always...
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
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I believe you. Thousands wouldn't.
Damn you and your slow burn! I want some kissing!
"Oh, Ive done far more than interupt your kiss, Twilight Sparkle. I've hurt you, and I want to go.on hurting you."
"SPIIIKE!!!"
*Cough*
So, with my need to reference satisfied, yes. Very Good chapter! Stop baiting me though. >_<
So close... yet so far! Damn you spike!
Fear Spike... The Destroyer of Moments!
Spike is best cuntblock.
god dammit when are they gonna kiss
oh dear spike, do you have any idea how much I want to pluck out every single one of your scales right now!
Why Spike! Why!!! you evil changeling troll you!
There is no better way to cock block a perfectly amazing moment, then this right below.....Curses
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Wait.... their both mares... how can two mares be cock blocked? or are your merely to the sentiment there of?
goda say that this is just straight up the best twixtrixie ive ever seen, one of the best build ups for a ship even
amazing work :D
It Just Keeps Getting Better!!!
2853123 probobly meant twat swat or pussy parry
SPIKE YOU KILLED THE MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!
Well Trixie, given the ending to this chapter, maybe you should be full-time room mates with Twilight and Spike can be given the spare bedroom instead?
In fact, maybe this whole entire thing was set-up by a conniving Spike scheming with Celestia to set Twilight up with a marefriend, and it's just a cherry on top that Spike also gets his own bedroom in the process.
Just as planned.
Well, so much for Spike offering something to the story...
damnit spike
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Clam Jammed?