Nopony likes criticism. Someday, eventually, somepony will hate something you write. Pinkie Pie is about to learn this the hard way, as she gives her latest story to Twilight to read. But as she reads and lists off the story's numerous obvious flaws, things begin to look a bit familiar.

Really familiar, actually.

A satire/crackfic written (at 2:30 AM, in about two hours) in humorous retaliation to my numerous criticisms as of late. Beginning to think I have issues.

Partially inspired by my proofing work for lord_steak. Thanks!

Also, my 30th story! Yay!

(REWRITTEN)

I've had probably the worst day ever. As if the hard days at school, crappy job and bad life weren't enough, now I have humiliation to deal with on top of that. First, my bullying older brothers. Then high school. Then my break-up. And now this. And it just follows me everywhere I go.

But no matter what, no matter when, there's one thing in this world who is always there for me. It's been my only comfort for years, but even when I'm at my worst, she's always there for me.

Rated "Teen" for some cursing.

Sunset has been caught off guard by Applejack who has somehow found out about her crush on the farm girl. To her surprise, the apple farmer is more than willing to oblige her.

This is a side story to Inter-Dimensional Crusaders!.

Nocturne has always frowned upon Heart-and-Hooves Day, and for good reason—his looks and awkwardness discourage him from getting a date. But after some tips from the Princess of Love, Nocturne gathers his courage and asks to spend this day with a special pony—his first real friend, Fluttershy.

Well, not really a "date"-date. Just spending time together. As friends. Because that's all they are. Friends. And nothing else.

Right?

Nocturne's feelings for Fluttershy have been jumbled since day one. But trying to remind himself that Fluttershy is nothing more than a friend has become more difficult today than ever. Throw in some unfortunate mishaps, other stallions jostling for Fluttershy's heart, and Pinkie Pie having discovered Nocturne's hidden feelings, and Nocturne's heart—and his patience—will be tested at every turn.

But Fluttershy is a patient mare, and she hopes to bring her elusive friend out of his shell, and give him a Hearts-and-Hooves Day he'll always remember.

Special thanks for the amazing hand-drawn cover art to DandereShy!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Too many ponies in Equestria have committed terrible crimes and gotten away with it. The problem has become so bad that Princess Twilight has turned to the only creature in Equestria capable of delivering the swift, righteous, stinging judgment these naughty ponies need:

You!

You are Corporal Punishment, the only human in Equestria, and you have the tools necessary to put all the criminals, delinquents, schemers, traitors, terrorists and lawbreakers in their places. Armed with a thick wooden paddle, a rawhide whip, a collapsible cane, and a bad attitude, it is your sworn duty to find every bad pony in Equestria and deliver a harsh, brutal spanking to each and every one for their crimes!

This is a massive collaboration effort in celebration of my 700 followers. Not meant to be taken seriously. Full of completely tongue-in-cheek humor and crazy moments, and may contain crackfic-style situations, continuity in only its loosest possible definition, and some kinky moments where discipline and punishment should be. Each author will be credited in the title of his/her respective chapter. Character tags to be added as more chapters are posted.

If you wish to add a chapter of your own, see THIS GROUP for details.

Everyone has one, according to Rainbow Dash. Everyone has a collection of porn. Rainbow is determined to find Sunset's.

Now with a voiced reading!

Sex tag is for raunchy humor and porn jokes.

He couldn't let this lie, not now. This was his chance to pay back the one person who truly changed his life. Red Mann didn't give him this assignment, Red Sniper made this one himself. The others will not help him on this, the skilled assassin decided this was a job he can only do himself. No other shall get involved, her life was his to save... No one else's.

The BLUs were after the one that pulled him out of the gutter, out of the darkness within his mind. They showed him quite a time, and always had that smile on her face. She made him feel good about things, made him want to keep seeing the next day. To keep fighting on, so that she could keep smiling.

That's a promise, and a professional keeps his promises.

After Fluttershy finally blows up in her face, a genuinely confused Rainbow Dash has a discussion with Twilight Sparkle, concerning the events leading up to it. Twilight confronts Rainbow Dash with quite a number of occasions that prove that Rainbow Dash isn't quite as considerate of her friends as she thought—and Fluttershy isn't always as willing to please as she seems. But Dash truly is a good friend, and as long as she remembers her friend's feelings, it might not be too late for Rainbow Dash to patch things up.

Partially inspired by Jay-The-Brony's "...That's It?"

Now with amazing artwork by JohnDarkblaze15!

Featured on 1/24/2016!

Have you ever heard strange voices in your head? Have you ever felt like your life is being observed or controlled by some omnipotent being? Twilight Sparkle has, and it's driving her up a wall; the FOURTH wall! Watch the hilarity ensue as Twilight hears the soothingly manly voice of yours truly!

When a small filly calling herself Sonata Dusk emerged from the mysterious portal within the castle, Princess Luna expected many things. What she didn't expect was for the filly to claim that she was actually a siren, banished from Equestria a thousand years ago. Despite her initial surprise, Luna makes an unexpected decision, and takes the filly under her wing.

Several years later, with the impending return of an ancient evil, Luna sends Sonata off to the humble little town of Ponyville, in the hopes that she will be able to learn the true value of the magic of friendship.

But Sonata isn't quite keen on interacting with other ponies. After all, ponies would never accept a singing sea monster as a true friend... right?

First story of the Sonataverse.

Edited by Retirw-Tsitra. Cover art done by Violise.