• Published 14th Feb 2016
  • 5,007 Views, 94 Comments

You Are Corporal Punishment! - LightningSword

There was no justice in Equestria . . . until you came along! Those ponies better watch their plots . . . .

  • ...

You Spank Trixie for Never Restoring Pinkie's Mouth, and Twilight for Forgiving Her Too Easily (by The Castaway Pariah)

You check your map to see if you’re in the right place. That’s what the mare from the town just behind you told you, that this is where you would find Trixie Lulamoon.

Sure enough, in this vine-infested wilderness, you see a wagon. It’s painted majestically with the right selection of colors and minute details to create a pleasant effect in the observer’s eyes, and for a moment, you consider knocking on the door politely instead of breaking it down.

You shake your head and approach the door before you kick it, showing it no mercy. Sure enough, it falls right down. Inside, Trixie is revealed, staring at you in shock. Then she turns angry. “How dare you?!” she exclaims. “This is Trixie’s humble home!”

“Did you really just use ‘Trixie’ and ‘humble’ in the same sentence?” you ask. “Anyway, Miss Lulamoon, I’m quite unhappy with your behavior.”

“What behavior?” she asks. “Staying in her humble home not harming anypony?”

“You remember the Alicorn Amulet incident?”

She rolls her eyes. “Nopony will shut up about it! But Trixie learnt her lesson, everything was fine in the end!”

“Everything?” You extend your word to be quite long as you raise your eyebrow.

“What are you getting at?”

“Tell me, do you remember a certain pink pony?”

“A certain pink pony?” she asks incredulously. “This damn country has tons of pink ponies! Green ponies, blue ponies, yellow ponies, how the hay should Trixie have a particular one in mind?!”

“I meant a certain one whose mouth you took away.”

“Oh, yes, that’s right,” said Trixie, looking down at the floor a bit.

“You said you felt bad about the way you treated Twilight and friends. You do remember that, don’t you?!” you continue.

“How do you KNOW all this?!” she demands. “H-have you seen Trixie taking showers?!”

“That’s besides the point. It’s time for retribution!”

You quickly tie a rope around her horn to prevent her from using magic, then turn her around...

...and bring your hand down to deliver a swift, firm swat to her hindquarters.

“Ow!” she yelps. “Have you no respect for a mare’s personal autonomy?!”

You look around the room. Sure, it feels… good… to do the spanking with your bare hands… but there’s a whip she used for her wagon when it was being pulled by Snips and Snails, her two mindless followers. Trixie sees you notice it and gets very nervous.

But do you pick it up and use it? No. You pick up a rather flat rock.

Trixie begins to splutter. “A-a rock?! NO!” she cries. “Have you any idea where I had to work after the incident with the Ursa Minor?!”

“Oh, of course,” you reply with a smirk. “And that’s precisely why I’m using this.”

You bring the rock down quickly and deliver another whack to her backside. She yelps out in pain as she feels the impact, as well as the sting it leaves. You wait a few moments before dishing out another lash, so as not to let the previous sting soften the blow of the new one.

“NO! How can you do this to the Great and Powerful Trixie?!” she screams, failing to hide the tears in her eyes, from both the pain and the humiliation.

This only serves to make you smile, smile, smile. And fill your heart up with sunshine, sunshine. More and more hits you dispense onto Trixie’s formerly great and powerful flank.

“YOU—” Whack! “DIDN’T—” Whack! “GIVE—” Whack! “PIN—” Whack! “KA—” Whack! “ME—” Whack! “NA—” Whack! “DI—” Whack! “ANE—” Whack! “PIE—” Whack! “HER—” Whack! “MOUTH—” Whack! “BACK!” Whack! “…Did…” Lighter hit. “…you…” Lighter whack. “...naughty filly?”

Trixie is now looking suitably punished—and so is her rear, a bright shade of red.

You crack an egg onto Trixie’s flank. The spanking has made it so red and warm, that the egg cooks.

“Justice…” You hold up the egg on a plate. “…is served.”

Next stop: the castle in Ponyville. Oh, if only you could get into a Dragon Ball Z fight and get an entire castle—made completely of crystal (a despicable use of resources)—free of charge. Even though the energy bills for a building like that must be through the roof… okay, maybe not such a good idea after all.

You let yourself in and walk down the daunting hallways that have succeeded in getting you lost before. This time, you have come prepared. You unfold your map and follow it to where it tells you to go. On the way, you get rather annoyed by the song it sings about how “I’m the map! :D” and screw it up and throw it into a nearby crystal trash can.

You enter the main room, where the Mane Six have their meetings, and you see Twilight sitting at the table reading a book. For some reason, she has a wide grin spread across her face. You walk up to her, and she notices you. “Oh, hello,” she greets you quickly with a smile.

“Twilight, I have some… questions for you,” you begin.

“Sure, ask away,” she replies.

“If somepony mutilated your friend… would you forgive them?” you ask.

“What? Certainly not,” she replies firmly. “Although, when you take into account the many different contexts this scenario could take… there would surely be variations in my answer….”

“If the pony responsible was perfectly capable of easily undoing the mutilation, but they hadn’t… would you forgive them?” you continue.

“Heavens, no!” she replied. “If that were the case, they would have to use their ability to undo the damage if they wanted my forgiveness.”

“Oh really?” you ask. “That’s not what I heard.”

You whip out your phone and press a bookmark. You skip to where you want it, then show the screen to Twilight.

“Hey! You’re lucky a rock farm would take the likes of you!” comes Pinkie’s voice. Then there comes the sound of the mouse pointer clicking and dragging her muzzle away.

You then skip the video to the ending, where this dialogue happens:


“It was the least I could do. I treated you and your friends so horribly when I was wearing that Alicorn Amulet. I just couldn’t control myself. You can forgive me, can’t you?”

“Hmmm. Sure.”

After Trixie makes her ridiculous contradictory speech, she runs off, and the screen starts to disappear… but Pinkie makes it stop to reveal her missing mouth.

“So… you forgave Trixie, did you?” you ask.

Twilight is just staring blankly at the device you hold in your hands, because A: you just showed her a little “flub” from her past, B: she doesn’t know how this could have been captured, and C: she has no idea what your phone is.

You quickly tie a rope around her horn, before she can react, in order to prevent her doing anything with it but produce harmless sparks. Then you hold her while she struggles, and pick up the book from the table:

“One of the top endorsers of all things books, magic, and friendship, huh?” you say. “That… that is just an insult. You don’t deserve in the slightest to have that kind of recognition.”

“Um… er…” says Twilight.

CHANDELIERS OF FATE SUCKS! I GOT BORED BY THE END OF THE SECOND CHAPTER! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO PUT IT ON A LIST OF TOP READS!” you roar. “Oh, and also, you don’t deserve to be known as a purveyor of friendship after the way you betrayed Pinkie Pie!”

As Twilight struggles in your grasp, you hold up the book of how “wonderful” Twilight supposedly is and, as you did earlier, swiftly bring it down onto her lavender butt and spank it. “Gah!” she cries from the impact. “Not again!”

“How dare you call yourself a good friend!” You hit her again. “Bad filly!” You deliver a further blow to the hindquarters.

You see her horn making a few sparkles as she attempts to do something to break free, but this is futile against you and your form of discipline. Another swat is given.

“No! Please, make it stop!” she squeals. “You already spanked me, remember? OW!”

But you don’t stop. You continue hitting her flank with the book all about her and what an awesome pony she seems. Oh, sweet, delicious irony….

It seems that you’re hungry and have a craving for pancakes with a helping of Irony sauce.

Anyway, back to business. You spank her another time, to which she yelps out.

You spot her flank. It is looking reasonably sore from the spankings you dealt out. You untie the rope from her horn and walk all the way over to the corner of the huge room before plopping her down. “You stay there and think about your behavior while you’re in time out, missy.”

She scoffs, sits there with her forelegs folded, and pouts.

After a while, you go back. “Have you learnt your lesson, Twily?” you ask.


You smile. “Good. Come on, what do you say we go down to the café and get some pancakes?”

She looks up at you and smiles. “Sure.”

So the two of you go down to the café, and order generous helpings of pancakes so you can say the day ended on a good note.

After a night of eating pancakes. A waiter brings you the bill.

“Thanks for treating us to this,” says Twilight gratefully.

“Oh, no problem at all,” you reply. “Say, did you happen to bring your purse?”