• Member Since 9th Sep, 2014
  • offline last seen March 19th

LightningSword


Me. Take it or leave it.

T

(REWRITTEN)

I've had probably the worst day ever. As if the hard days at school, crappy job and bad life weren't enough, now I have humiliation to deal with on top of that. First, my bullying older brothers. Then high school. Then my break-up. And now this. And it just follows me everywhere I go.

But no matter what, no matter when, there's one thing in this world who is always there for me. It's been my only comfort for years, but even when I'm at my worst, she's always there for me.


Rated "Teen" for some cursing.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 83 )

*whistle.
Not too bad for what it is.

At first I was going to say that it's a bit of a corny story, but good quality writing nonetheless.

Then that ending caught me off guard. :fluttercry: Good story.

HIEfan #3 · Mar 6th, 2016 · · 2 ·

Ouch, right in the feels, poor guy.

The feels are reals!!:pinkiesad2:

Talking to a plushie for comfort.....just like me.
Sweet story, sad, a little weird, but sweet all the same.:fluttercry:

Love it.

Man that end... fucking hell. Unintentional meme is unintentional but... I WASN'T READY! :fluttercry: :applecry: :pinkiesad2: :fluttershyouch: :fluttershbad: :raritycry:

Help me! I'm feeling!

TGM
TGM #9 · Mar 6th, 2016 · · 1 ·

Didn't really like it. I get that this was in the dude's head the whole time but Fluttershy's personality seems extensively bastardized for my taste. She was basically reduced to saying 'it's okay' and just agreeing with everything the protagonist was saying. She didn't give any opinions, she didn't give any other sort of dialogue outside of 'what mean people you work with' and such.

It's also kind of an unrealistic scenario, harassment in the workplace isn't really tolerated anywhere anymore, and if this dude is old enough to work and have an ex-wife he's probably old enough to realize that if he's getting bullied he needs to go see a manager or something about these 'bullies' at the gym.

Just my two cents.

That ending was fantastic. :fluttercry: The perfect way to sadden what was already a sad story.
Nice story, LightningSword!

Please tell me that talking to dolls is not actually a thing some people do. I just can't imagine anyone being that messed up.

Roland has my sympathies. And the sad thing is, this reads as realistic. Maybe a little extreme, but still, I could see this happening.

I kinda wish he was talking to the real Fluttershy instead of just a plushie. She'd give him a hug.

Hm. Well... an unconventional story (by my standards, at least), and somewhat disturbing in a psychological sense (the guy really seems messed up in the head), but I still enjoyed it.

7003987

It's also kind of an unrealistic scenario, harassment in the workplace isn't really tolerated anywhere anymore

I disagree, sorry. When you are the odd one or one of a minority at your workplace (currently the place where I work has very many old ladies and very few people of younger generation), you can get real taste of being not liked for not being like them. It is not as bad at my place as it is described in this story, but ageism can raise its head sometimes. One of my colleagues and myself had had to endure accusations of "doing nothing at works" and similar; in response, we started going to the people that could run their mouths off together. They were not mouthy then. It is extremely annoying.

and if this dude is old enough to work and have an ex-wife he's probably old enough to realize that if he's getting bullied he needs to go see a manager or something about these 'bullies' at the gym.

And if the manager is on the "bullies"' side too? Plus, one has to record proof, or it's his word against theirs and doomed to fail.

7003857
7003874
7003884
7003910 Thanks for the faves, everyone! :twilightsmile: And 7004248 if you could put some spoiler tags on your post, I'd appreciate it. :twilightsmile:


7003987 If you know the ending, and that technically it's not even her dialogue, then why is Fluttershy's dialogue so bad? And having employers, or even teachers, on the side of the bullies happens more often than you might think. Furthermore, this is more than just the bad day at work; I suggest reading it through once more and pay more attention to the exposition going on outside the main event.

That being said, I'm sorry you disliked it. I've taken what you said into consideration and offered an explanation to the best of my ability.


7004223 People talk to their plushies all the time. I can't say that I do, but I can tell you that comfort comes in all forms.

And yes. Some people really are that messed up. It happens sometimes, and they cope how they can.

7004813 I know I have talked to my plushies on more than one occasion. I loved this story!

Well that's the line of bigotry for you and why humanity is doomed to fail, screwing with a person because of their life choices. Personally I wouldn't know it that far cause I don't collect any merchandise but I can understand how rough bullying can be.

Faced that in my childhood and teenage years just for being a quiet person.

7004932 Believe me, I understand. For me, things like Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh made me an easy target in middle and high school. I figured this was relatable especially to us Bronies.

Thanks for favoriting. :yay:

I may not have as depressing a life as Roland, but I believe I'd do something similar if I had a pony plushie. Bravo on the story, it gave me so many feels. :fluttercry:

7005313 I'm glad you liked it. Thanks. :twilightsmile:

BUT BILL DESTROYED FLUTTERSHY, AND EVERYTHING THAT THE MAIN CHARACTER CARED ABOUT!!! AFTER TORTURING THE CHARACTER PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY, HE FINALLY PUT AN END TO HIS WORTHLESS LITTLE MORTAL LIFE!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

And then Caboose saved the day, when he revived everyone, and made everyone (including Church, and excluding Tucker) his best friends!!! The end! With a happy ending!

SOMETIMES I REALLY HATE YOU MARGO.

1234 #25 · Mar 7th, 2016 · · 5 ·

Didn't feel sad or upset for the guy by the end of the tale due to the following:

1. Really? Being bullied for having an MLP background on his cell in a gym with everyone laughing at him?

I'm sorry, but that setting and situation seemed highly unrealistic. I can't get into this story without wondering some random guy was able to attract everyone's attention and have everyone laughing at Roland. Clearly, as we see by the woman walking her son out, was embarrassed by the conduct of the other gym-goers (there's a better word for that, I just can't think of it atm) not by Roland's liking of ponies, and clearly the other people are laughing at the guy who pointed out Roland's like for ponies because he gives two shits about a guy who likes MLP. Unless I'm wrong, because even in that situation, I bet you only a select few would be laughing at the guy, while the rest stare at the idiots who were laughing at Roland. Some might have even defended Roland. Not everyone in this world hates peeps for liking something like MLP, you know.

2. Lastly, I really don't get the tragedy tag here. Was it implied that Fluttershy was dead or was the tragedy something else? Otherwise, I don't get the inclusion of the tragedy tag. There's no real tragedy here. Sad? Maybe to some, as seen in the comments, but not to me. I didn't feel attached enough to the character to feel sorry for the guy.

The style of writing is still good, though. I'm not sure why you made a dryer that automatically replenishes clothes for the guy. I really want one of those.

Alright got my feels prepared. *reads description
Oh boy... *reads some comments
I don't think I prepared enough *reads story
I didn't prepare enough, I didn't prepare enough at all. Why are you so good at making me feel?!

7004940 No trouble. They better watch it though, there is such a thing as "Too Far". They're going to end up making someone snap.

you should consider making a full story instead of a one shot :pinkiehappy:

7005824 Thanks for favoriting. :twilightsmile:


7005946 The tragedy is that he has no one to talk to except for a doll. And his dryer is always full because he's too lazy to empty it.


7006301 For this particular story, or just in general? I have made multi-chapter stories in the past, but I find I do better at one-shots. That, and I don't have the attention span for a good full-length story. :applejackunsure:

HOLY CRAP THE FEELS :fluttercry:

7006445
Bro! Spoiler tags.

WOW, this really hit me hard :fluttercry:. I can't say I know what it's like to be behind on rent or ridiculed at work, but I do know what it feels like to be an outcast. I was an outcast basically until the second semester of my junior year of high school. I wouldn't talk to anybody, because I was scared of being hurt. I'm on the autistic spectrum, and therefore am naturally awkward. I didn't have a doll or plushie back then to talk to, and I was embarrassed to talk to my family about it, so I would just sit in my room and talk to myself, like I'm crazy or something, retreating into my own reality where I can talk to some imaginary friends. I would cry myself to sleep thinking about how much of a loser I was, and admittedly, I still do to this day. Sometimes I just want someone, or something, to talk to without being ridiculed. When I went off to college, I was separated from my friends. I was back at square one.

That's why I write fanfiction. That's why I write about my pony persona in certain sad and depressed situations. I have no other way to vent my feelings, because I haven't made any close friends in college, and my family and friends are too far and busy to listen to me prattle constantly. Selfish? Yes, yes it is, and I shame myself for thinking things like that. People might call my fanfics Mary Sue'd, but I see it rather as a way to express my feelings through my pony persona; gaining a better understanding of myself and my inner demons. It's the only way I can have some form of release :pinkiesad2:.

Sometimes I talk to myself, or even my Kirby plushie just so I have something to talk to, even though I know it's an inanimate object, they can't hear me. Or maybe they're like Fluttershy in this story, they can hear me, but I just can't hear them. Or again, I just talk to myself, because I'm afraid of being ridiculed or even discredited about my feelings. Sometimes I even discredit myself on my feelings. Sometimes, even in my own reality, I'm not safe. Maybe I am crazy based on what I've written :ajsleepy:. To this day, I still fight my inner demons.

Sorry if that got too personal for some of you people, but this story really hit me hard, and I wanted to express why. I'm not usually one to read sadfics, but I know LightningSword has been going through some tough times, and I wanted to humor him. I'm glad I took the time to read this, even if it did make me tear up a little. Correction...tear up a lot. Have a like and a favorite. I hope you're doing well, bro :pinkiesmile:. Keep your head up :raritywink:.

7007771 Thank you for telling me all that. I'm glad to know exactly why you liked this story, and I feel like I understand you more because of it. And I am grateful that you took the time to read and favorite this. I wish you best of luck, and thank you so much. :twilightsmile:


7007075 Yeah, got it. My bad . . . .

7008163
Didn't expect 7007771 's comment to be so deep. Wow.

(Hugs both of you)

God story bro, was kinda confused at the beginning, but I started to catch the further I read......Ok, that was a lie. Honestly It felt like he was actually talking with her, but then the end hit me like a two ton brick, that was definitely worthy of the tragedy Tag. I can Sympthise with Roland as well, hence why only two of my friends and my mom know i watch FiM.

Okay that right there.... that was just sad

7008962 I'm glad you were able to feel that way. Thanks for favoriting. :twilightsmile:

7009999 No prob! I know a good fic when I see one. keep up the good work.

“Talking to yourself is okay. Answering back is risky.”
― Brian Spellman, If the mind fits, shrink it.

“A man speaking sense to himself is no madder than a man speaking nonsense not to himself.”
― Tom Stoppard

Great work once again. Sorry it took me so long to get around to reading it.

7027205 Thanks for the faves. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

Debating whether those quotes you used should be in spoiler tags or not . . . .

7027249 No problem I enjoyed every bit of it. And as for the quotes they are for you to do with what you will. Find what they mean to you and you alone, use as something to learn from, use as the foundation of a story, or as spoiler tags. The choice is yours and yours alone to make, I only ask that you enjoy them as you wish.

Don't talk to me or my tentacles ever again.

7128136 That video is so cheap and mean-spirited that it -- leaves everyone speechless and creeped out by its disgusting, paranoia-laden, activities.

I'll be honest. That video review is unnecessarily mean-spirited and cruel, especially since, for all any of us know, this is you writing about your own experiences and trying to express yourself and find comfort in your writing.

However, that aside, admittedly this is not very good. And a major reason is the protagonist is rather difficult to sympathize with. He's apparently old enough to be divorced with a child, but admits he spends most of his money on My Little Pony merchandise, to the point he has to work extra hours to keep up with the bills. He undergoes harassment at his workplace, but rather than approach his boss about it, since behavior like this would not be tolerated in any good place, he goes home and cries about it to a plushie. And the narration in the opening chapters indicates he's lazy and chubby, but nothing in his thoughts indicates he's trying to lose weight or stop being lazy. In fact, despite the fact the protagonist overall has a crappy life, he seems to have no interest in changing that. This also ignores the fact he seems a bit psychologically unstable, since he seems to regard his pony plushie as the only thing that makes life worth living. But the guy apparently owns a house or is at least renting and has a steady job with no obvious physical or psychological disabilities, so compared to some other folks he's doing fine.

I have been on the self-pity train in my life. I have been bullied, harassed, mocked for my interests (not pony, but other things in high school). I grew up and learned how meaningless it is to dwell over those things and let them destroy me. Self-pity accomplishes nothing, and I have to take a tough love approach with this guy because he needs to learn that. We control our own lives. If you are unhappy, you have the power to change that. Negativity can only bring you down if you let it, learn to rise above it. Sure, we all get down in the dumps sometimes and need a friend to turn to, and if you don't have friends it can be even harder. But you learn to get over it and move on. This guy needs to get some psychological help, talk to his family about what he's going through, and take control of his own life so he can turn it around.

And, to be honest, if this fic is based on your own experiences - I say the same to you.

TGM

7005946

This comment is old, but I'm not sure why it was downvoted so much. It has a few very good points that you could take into consideration for your future works. Is it just habit to downvote anyone who says anything bad about LS's stories? I'd like to think not.

7129008 Not anymore than it is to downvote comments that praise my stories. Happens just as often.

TGM

7129078

My point is that your story has problems, pushing other's criticisms off to the side as hate isn't going to help you improve at all.

7129106 I think you'll find I did not refer to any of Voiceguy's commentary as hate. I said I was quitting writing, because I'm too weak to handle criticism. Interpret it how you want. You know you'll be on the other person's side anyway.

TGM
TGM #50 · Apr 15th, 2016 · · 1 ·

7129115

I wasn't referring to voiceguy, I was referring to the mass amount of downvotes on that one particular comment that gave nothing but legitimate criticism, and did not insult you in any way. A mass swarm of downvotes on a comment like that usually means people are disregarding the actual constructive points he gave you in favor of dwelling the fact that he said your story had flaws.

Criticism is going to happen no matter where you go, and if you want to make it anywhere as anything (not even a writer, anything in the world) you have to learn to accept it.

also there's no 'sides' here. I'm not sure what imaginary battle between you and other people is going on in your head, but I'm just a guy typing on a computer giving my two cents. if you want to think I'm out to get you that's fine, take it however you like, I guess.

Login or register to comment