• Published 14th Feb 2016
  • 5,002 Views, 94 Comments

You Are Corporal Punishment! - LightningSword



There was no justice in Equestria . . . until you came along! Those ponies better watch their plots . . . .

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You Spank Derpy Hooves for Ruining Cranky and Matilda's Wedding (by Zyrah)

A storm is rolling in over the homey town of Ponyville. You watch as the clouds become darker and the pegasi rush to fill in every hole in the fluffy blanket. A swing set flies by your office window, making its way downtown.

You begin to wonder if starting a business to let the naughty ponies come to you was a good idea. You grunt as you shift positions in your seat and say, “Business sure is slow. I guess there is nopony that is in a dire need of a good ass-slappin' today.”

You gaze at the ceiling, just waiting for that moment that somepony sends you an Iris message with instructions and payment.

Which is apparently right now. You walk over to the little bird bath next to the wall and throw in a gold bit and wait for the mist to shimmer into whatever is on the other side.

When you see the pony...er, donkey, you quote the signature response to an Iris message, “Captain Slappy's Ass-Slappin' Emporium, where if you need a good slappin', call the cap’n! What can I assist you with today?” You briefly reflect on your sudden promotion from Corporal to Captain, but wave it off as the customer replies.

“Err...hi, I was uh, I was wondering if you do surprise delivery ass-slappings?” The donkey asks nervously, obviously the first time.

“We sure do, and we have many packages. Anything really catch your eye?” You ask as you hold up a restaurant-style menu so the donkey can see it through the message.

“Hmmm, that premium one looks good,” he says, leaning in to get a closer look.

“Ah, the Nobel Surprise. Excellent choice. It really keeps things fresh.”

“Yeah, I think I'll go with that one.”

“Alright, can I get your name please,” you ask as you grab a pen and paper for the order form.

“Cranky,” he says bluntly. You ignore his tone because he is about to make the only purchase you are going to get today.

“Alright Cranky, can you tell me who the recipient is?”

“A pony in Ponyville named Derpy Hooves.”

“And is there any special reason or are you just feeling generous, Mr. Cranky?”

“Well, she messed up my wedding invitations and I didn't notice it until they were already sent out.”

“Well, we can't just let that go unpunished, can we?” you ask him with a smile.

“Look, there is no need to make this anymore awkward than it is already. Just do what I'm paying you for and get it over with,” he says with a look of disgust. You however, are still very optimistic.

“Where's the fun in that?” you ask with another smile.

As the message shimmers and begins to dissolve back into the water, you hear Cranky say, “Filthy humans….”

That is none of your concern though. You are about to get some bits.


The rain pours down around you as the sun dips below the horizon. You let out a yawn and take a look at your watch. It tells you it's about seven at night, which begs the question: how long does it take to complete a mail route?

You sigh but continue your stakeout of the home belonging to the mare in question. And would you look at that—the blonde-maned pegasus that you've been waiting two hours for is flying up to the door.

Now for the fun to begin.

As the gray mare steps inside, you sneak your way across the dimly lit neighborhood street and into the first bush outside of the house. A window sits right above you, and after looking around to make sure you were not spotted, you take a peek.

The mare takes her mail-mare's bag off, hangs it on the wall right inside the door, and continues on into another room which you presume to be the kitchen (due to the counter tops). After the last bit of her tail is out of sight, you sneak over to the door. With heart racing and adrenaline pumping, you open the unlocked door and step inside.

Sneaking through the living room, you hug the wall right next to the kitchen door. A shelf sits across from you with many different objects and pictures on it. You pick up a frame that has a picture of Derpy with what you assume to be her daughter and use it to bounce the reflection of the kitchen so you can see without poking your head around.

Derpy is standing there pouring a bowl of wheat grain. Now is the perfect opportunity. You swing the boat paddle that you had strapped to your back around and make sure you have a firm grip on it and you walk into the doorway.

Derpy immediately notices your presence and turns to face you. Her face is stricken with horror and confusion. “W-who are you? What do you w-want?”

You just smile as you step closer to the pegasus. Each step forward you take, she takes a step backwards until finally she hits the wall.

She asks again, the panic rising in her voice, “Who are y-you?”

“Don't worry about that,” you say nonchalantly while giving your wooden boat paddle a test swing. “The only thing you need to worry about, little pony, is that I'm about to tear that ass up like a bowl of chili.”

She whimpers and says, “I don't even know what that is.”

Without further warning, you turn her around and lay a nice, echoing smack with your instrument of ass destruction. A loud yelp escapes the gray mare, her back legs already quivering.
Trying to cover herself with her tail, you grab it up and hold it away. Then with your right hand you bring the paddle forward with another loud smack.

The mare freezes up this time, however, and without a sound. You bring the paddle down once again, making the mare jolt forward. This time a loud moan escapes her lips.

A look of confusion is etched on your face. Maybe you just didn't hear that right.

You bring the paddle down for a fourth time and when you get the same lustful moan that you got with the previous swing, you bring it down harder this time.

Smack!

The force of paddle on ass is loud enough to cause ringing in your ears but that moan still makes its way out of her muzzle.

You start slapping harder and faster, and with every smack you say, “You. Are. Not. Supposed. To. Like. This.” But with every slap you also hear Derpy moan in pleasure. On the word 'this' however, your paddle breaks. Her ass literally just shattered a wooden boat paddle.

Your mouth agape in shock, you just stare at her. She leans behind the wall and picks up an object in her mouth. When she turns around, you see the object as plain as day and now you are the one with the look of horror.

The object is a smaller paddle with holes drilled into it. You take a step backward and she takes a step forward. Around the paddle you hear her say, “My turn.”