Everyone Has One...
“I don’t think Sunset’s coming back,” groaned Rainbow Dash. “I mean, how long does she want us to wait?!”
“Honestly, Rainbow, give the girl a chance,” said Rarity. “She’s only been gone twenty minutes.”
“But how long does it take to get pizza?”
“Rainbow, you’re just being impatient again.” Rarity was really playing Devil's advocate by this point, because she was just as anxious as Rainbow. Truth be told, Rarity was actually a little offended. Sunset Shimmer had invited the two of them to hang out this weekend, but now she was on a 20+ minute “pizza run”. If Rarity didn't know better, she'd think Sunset was avoiding them.
“Yeah, impatient and bored out of my freaking mind!” Rainbow buried her face into Sunset’s couch cushion.
“Rainbow Dash! This is the 21st century!” exclaimed Rarity. “We live in an age of celebrity gossip, royal babies, and political sex scandals, and you have the whole of the internet in your pocket, but you have the audacity to be bored?”
“Phone’s dead,” Rainbow mumbled into the couch. She perked up excitedly. “Hey, Sunset wouldn't mind if I used her computer, would she?” Rainbow didn't wait for an answer, and crossed the room to Sunset’s little office area. She booted up the machine, then plopped herself into the computer chair.
“That's rude,” noted Rarity. “You really shouldn't-”
“Hey! I just had the best idea!” Rainbow Dash grinned mischievously. “I wanna see if I can find her stash!” Rarity was very confused, so much so that she found herself right next to Rainbow, watching intently as she maneuvered to Sunset’s files and folders.
“What manner of stash are you searching for?” asked Rarity.
“Her Flick Pics.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“You know, her funtime folder,” said Rainbow. Rarity still looked quite confused. “Her porn! I wanna see if I can find her porn stash!”
It was generally thought that Rarity was a wholesome, innocent girl who was in control of her urges when they came, so it really was no surprise that she had no clue what Rainbow was talking about. If Rarity was a pure, untainted young woman, then Rainbow Dash was the exact opposite. She was perverted and immature, and, if Rarity were to find a quarter every time she heard Rainbow utter some variation of the phrase “That's what she said”, she'd be able to retire by age 18.
“Not everyone has a stash of illicit materials,” said Rarity, turning her nose up in disgust. “I would like to believe that Sunset can control herself better than that.”
“Pssh! Everyone has a porn collection, it's just natural,” scoffed Rainbow. “I have one, the girls have one, you have one, and I'm positive that Sunny has one, too.”
“I do not have one!” Rarity was aghast, disgusted, and a bit uncomfortable. “What use would I have for a collection of pornography?”
“Was that a serious question?” Rainbow was running out of folders to search. “Gah, I can't find any here, so she probably keeps hers on her phone.”
“What are you even looking for?”
“Anything labeled ‘porn', ‘smut', something,” said Rainbow. “I’ve got to find it!”
“What is so fascinating about watching two people have sex?” asked Rarity. “I think the idea of participating in it is disgusting by itself, but to sit and watch? So much sweat and gross noises and fluid, and none of it is yours!”
“Maybe I'll tell you when you're older, but this isn't just about the porn. This is about answers.” Rainbow Dash was attempting to get Rarity’s attention, and she succeeded. “Think about it. All the time we've known her and she's never had even one story about some dude she bagged.”
“Perhaps Sunset is a proper lady, and doesn't kiss and tell.”
“Maybe she's secretly gay. Or maybe she has some weird fetish that she doesn't want us to know about,” suggested Rainbow. “Maybe she's really into BDSM, or tentacle hentai, or something!”
“Er… I'm afraid to ask…” Rarity sighed. “What are those?”
A devious gleam lit in Rainbow’s eye. She grinned in satisfaction, then, in as great detail as she could manage, she explained both to her friend. Her reaction was a mix of confusion, disgust, and morbid curiosity.
“Wait, and people actually like being treated like that?” gasped Rarity. “If someone called me those things… in the bedroom, no less!”
“Actually, it's more like a dungeon, most times. You're taking the tentacle thing better than I thought.”
“I've known you long enough to tell when you're joking. That can't be real.” Rarity felt her stomach turn at the look on Rainbow’s face. The look that all but screamed “It's real!”
“Come on, don't you wanna know?” asked Rainbow. “It could be anything!”
Rarity really didn't want to be curious. It was none of her business what Sunny liked. Still, Rainbow Dash had painted the world of pornography too well, and Rarity couldn't help but want to learn more.
“Scooch,” ordered Rarity. Rainbow shifted over, sharing her seat with Rarity. “We will take a passing glance, and no more!” Rainbow grinned, then relinquished the mouse to her friend, who began digging. She didn't know how Rarity expected to find it, but she was glad to have help.
Which was why Rainbow was very, very confused when Rarity placed her cursor over a folder labeled “History I Freshman Year”.
“Uh, Rares…” said RD uneasily. “Did you forget what we were looking for?”
“No. I found it,” said Rarity simply.
“That says it's her history folder.” Rarity rolled her eyes.
“Honestly, Rainbow Dash, you have about as much tact, finesse, and discretion as a rock,” scoffed Rarity. “If Sunset is going to go through the trouble of hiding it, why would she label it so obviously?” That was a rational enough conclusion to make, but Rainbow was still a bit confused.
“Okay, but how do you know it's in there?” she asked. “There's a bunch of folders labeled as school classes.” Rarity pointed to each folder, particularly the names. When Rainbow didn't notice the small difference, she rolled her eyes again. Inattentive Rainbow Dash was nothing new, but it could still be irritating.
“Look close. There's a I in the History folder’s title, but not in any of the others,” explained Rarity. “She marked it so she could find it more easily.” She clicked the folder, opening up to reveal several more folders. “Look, that one is titled ‘Exit Project’. I had history with Sunset, and we never had an exit project.”
When Rarity opened the exit project folder, she was greeted with about twenty more folders. After searching them a bit, she found one labeled “Sound_Files”. It was the only one with an underscore, so Rarity was confident that this was her folder. She double clicked to open, slapping her forehead when she saw its contents.
A single folder labeled “p0rn”.
“Yeah!” cheered Rainbow. “I knew it! Hey, how did you know what to look for? I thought you didn't believe in porn.”
“Last year, I was staying over at Fluttershy’s house when I came across her hidden manga folder,” sighed Rarity. “I didn't read any, but she was embarrassed that I found her ‘yaoi', whatever that is.”
“That sly little… it's always the quiet ones…” said Rainbow, who was experiencing a strange mix of bemusement, confusion, and respect. “Well, at least I know whose to look for next.”
“You cannot let her know that I told you!” Rarity was regretting the situation more and more with time. “I swore to never utter a word to another living soul, you can't-”
“Alright, geez, I won't! C’mon, are you gonna open the vault or not?” demanded Rainbow. Rarity nervously hovered over the folder. This would be her last chance to respect Sunset’s privacy. This would be her last chance to be a good friend and leave it be. Rarity could forget all about the folder, bury her emotions like her mother had taught her, and continue to think that Sunset and the rest of her friends (that she didn't already know were chronic masturbators) were the proper ladies that she wanted them to be.
But what if it was tentacle hentai?
“Atta girl!” said Rainbow excitedly, watching intently as Rarity opened the folder. Inside of the folder was a series of videos, the first of which was titled “Homesick”.
“Oh, it's some incest fetish!” giggled Rainbow. “Maybe Sunset has the hots for her mom!”
“How Freudian of you,” noted Rarity dryly. She withdrew a pair of earbuds from her pocket, plugged them into Sunset's computer, then offered one to Rainbow. Rarity slipped the other into her own ear and double clicked the first video.
There are certain things that tend to be forgotten after a long enough friendship. Certain facts are disregarded as normal, even when they are not. It was easy to ignore glaring warnings against doing something, especially when the situation was as unique as Sunset's. You see, Rarity and Rainbow had been friends with Sunset for so long that they had forgotten that she was from out of town. They forgot that Sunset's home was in Equestria, the land of magic, myth, and, most importantly, horses.
“Is that Sunny? What is she doing at a farm? Is that… Oh my god…” said Rainbow. “It's massive! I mean, I've heard the jokes, but Jesus H. Christ, that thing is big!”
“Oh my… We shouldn't be doing this…” said Rarity. She couldn't look away. “How is she still in one piece? That would tear me in half.”
“Jesus…”
There was a click at the door, which swung open into the apartment. Neither Rainbow nor Rarity could react in time; Sunset walked in with two pizzas in her right hand and an unmarked box in her left. She looked at her friends, then at the screen, then at her friends again, a monsoon of emotions on her face.
The primary emotion was fury.
“What the actual hell are you doing?!” demanded Sunset, glowing red in the face. “Close that out, right now!”
Rarity froze in place, like a deer in headlights. If it weren't for Rainbow Dash, she likely would've stood there with the video playing until Sunset came and shut it off herself.
“I step out for half an hour and you guys go snooping through my stuff?!” shrieked Sunset. “I can't believe you!”
“Sunny, I get that you're mad, but there's something you should know,” said Rainbow. She took in a deep breath. “Be mad at me. Rarity didn't want to do it, but I convinced her. It's my fault.” Rarity admired her friend's honesty and courage. She was willing to step up and accept responsibility for her actions.
“I know! Of course it's your fault!” Sunset shouted. “Why would Rarity do this alone? This reeks of Rainbow Dash!”
Rainbow suddenly felt a lot less brave.
“Dude, there's nothing to be embarrassed about,” said Rainbow. “Like I was telling Rares, everyone has porn. Granted, not everyone decides to star in their own movies, but still. Fapping is perfectly natural.”
“But this is my porn! You don't get to tell me what to be embarrassed about, this is a whole different level of gross!” snapped Sunset. “You have normal porn of a guy and a girl going at it, or a girl and a girl, or two guys. People you don't know. It's your porn, but not your porn!”
“Sunset, darling, we promise not to whisper a word of this to anyone,” swore Rarity. “But I have to ask… Why? You're a beautiful girl, I don't understand why you resorted to… Well, that.”
Sunset groaned. How could this be happening to her? She did everything right, she had been a good friend. Sunset threw her box on her bed, set the pizza on her kitchen counter before settling down to explain.
“Alright, where do I begin? Okay, so, ponies and humans age a little differently,” said Sunset. “In Equestria, I'd be about 25 instead of 18. Also, we start to have sex earlier.”
“How much earlier?” asked Rainbow.
“I lost my virginity when I was 8.” Sunset could feel the cringe from her friends. “Which, to be fair, is a little early, but it wasn't a situation where they were concerned for my future.”
“I have a question.”
“What is it, Rainbow?”
“What does any of this have to do with you getting plowed by a horse?” Sunset’s face resembled a tomato, a fiery blush emanating from her.
“Basically what I was getting at is that I've been screwing for longer than you guys. A lot longer. And most of that time, I was a pony,” sighed Sunset. “Basically, I can't hook up with a human because I'm too used to being Equine. Plus, human sex parts are gross.”
A lot of what Sunset said made sense to Rarity and Rainbow. It wasn't exactly hard to comprehend, that Sunset was more comfortable with her kind than she was with people. What was confusing was the idea that Sunset was disgusted by humans. That was just impossible for them to wrap their heads around it. This was beyond the usual sexual preference that most people were familiar with discussing.
“Er… What exactly do you mean?” asked Rarity.
“Yeah, people bits aren't gross!” jeered Rainbow.
“Look, it's a matter of taste,” said Sunset. “Rarity likes guys, you like girls, I like…”
“Horses.”
“Which is a lot less weird when you remember that I am also a horse.” Sunset begrudgingly started to grab plates for pizza, and handing them to her friends. “In Equestria, mares outnumber stallions by about six to one, so we evolved to be mostly bisexual. So, yeah, I'm into mares and stallions. People dicks are too small and weird shaped, and don't even get me started on your boobs.”
“What about them?” asked Rarity.
“They're on your chest, not by your crotch. That's just weird. And your vaginas are too… Flat. One-dimensional. I dunno, but they're not what I need.”
Rainbow nodded, despite not really understanding at all. Then, she noticed the box on Sunset's bed.
“Hey, what's this box?” she asked.
“Oh, I had a package coming in, and it just got here,” said Sunset. “That's what took me so long.”
“What's in it?”
“A fresh shipment of Nunya.” Rainbow raised a concerned and confused eyebrow. “Nunya Business.”
“Honestly, Rainbow Dash,” scoffed Rarity. “Why did you not see that coming?”
“C'mon, Sunny, tell me!” begged Rainbow.
“Don't you think you've violated my personal privacy enough today?” asked Sunset. “Can’t you just let me have this one secret, now that you know all about my actress career?”
“Speaking of which, who was recording that?” asked Rarity.
“The owner of the farm. I wasn’t even intending to get a video when I went there,” said Sunset, snickering slightly. “I’d been here for almost three years, and hadn’t properly came since I left Equestria, so I was really just trying to get my rocks off. The guy said I could as long as he got to record it. I texted him after and he emailed me the video. I still go over there every couple of months, to-... Rainbow Dash, what are you doing?”
Rainbow Dash shook the package gently, trying to gauge what was inside based entirely on sound. She glanced at Sunset, then resumed her shaking. Sunset slowly made her way over to Rainbow, her anger rising with each step.
“Rainbow Dash, I swear to God, whatever god you want to believe in, I swear to him,” warned Sunset. “If you don’t put that box down, I will choke you to death with its contents.”
“Oh, come on! Now I have to know what’s inside!” squealed Rainbow. Before Sunset could reiterate her threat, Rainbow ripped open the box and dumped it onto the bed. Out of the box tumbled a little bottle of lubricant, a similar bottle of some unknown, murky, white substance, and a large, rubber toy in the shape of a stallion’s reproductive organ.
Sunset Shimmer’s face burned in both rage and embarrassment. She bared her teeth and leapt forward, hurling her “package” beneath her pillow. Practically aflame, she relied on every single one of Princess Twilight’s lessons to refrain from relapsing back into her violent habit of transforming into a demon.
“Alright, girls, it's been fun,” said Sunset through gritted teeth. “But get the hell out of my house.”
“Sunny? You seem…” Rainbow tried to think of an appropriate word. “Rarity?”
“Pissed?” Rarity offered.
“There ya go. You seem really pissed.” She noticed Sunset’s clenched, trembling fists. “Uh… What are you gonna do?”
“I'm gonna break it in,” said Sunset angrily. “Now get out!”
Two Days Later
Sunset finished toweling off, sighing in a mix of contentment and shame. This heat cycle nonsense was getting out of hand. She would have to do something about it soon. She sent Twilight a message using the journal to find out both why she was in heat as a human and, more importantly, what she could do about it. Her new toy wouldn’t be doing much for her at this rate. What she needed was a trip back to Equestria, where she could have her pick of any real, live stallion who would be more than willing to help out a mare going through her cycle.
“Alright, Dusty,” sighed Sunset. “Round six?” There was a knock at the door, which did little more than irritate Sunset. “Coming!” She snickered slightly at that. “Well, not anymore…”
Sunset pulled her pants up, then rolled her toy beneath her pillow. She wiped her face with the dry half of her towel, then chucked it into her hamper. She made her way over to her door, and pulled it open.
“Hey, Rares,” said Sunny. “What’s up?”
“I… Er… I wanted to see if you were still cross with me,” said Rarity. Sunset could tell that her friend was nervous.
“Totally over it. I’m just glad I have friends to be cross with, to be honest,” chuckled Sunset. “Don’t feel bad. Rainbow is just a bad influence, ya know?”
“Erm… Yes, of course. It’s just… I was also quite uncomfortable, because… I’m… er…”
“A virgin?”
“Y-yes,” said Rarity. “And, I was thinking and… Considering my first time. I read that it should be with someone you know well and trust.”
“It helps,” said Sunset with a nod.
“And, what’s more, I was wondering what your… Pardon, your… video… I found myself curious as to what that was like.” Sunset didn’t say anything, because she was busy trying to figure out where Rarity was going with this.
“Uh-huh….”
“So, I thought that… You might help me kill two birds with one stone?”
“You want me to take you to my farm to let Dusty the horse ram you?” asked Sunset.
“Um… I was hoping we could go with baby steps?” suggested Rarity. Sunset looked over to her bed, where her toy was hidden, then to Rarity’s face. She could do a lot worse and, in heat, Sunny didn’t care who she was with, as long as she was with someone.
“Alright, come on in,” said Sunset. She pulled her shirt over her head, shed her bra, and stepped out of her pants and underwear. “Let’s do this.”