Anonymous doesn't ask for much in life. Good friends, a place to sleep, and of course, the snoots of ponies to boop. There's nothing he won't do to boop those snootles, and he has traveled far and wide to experience the snoots of all known nations, races, and creeds. Yet there is one kind of snoot that he has been unable to boop: that of an alicorn.
That changes today.

A quick bit of silliness whipped up in a few hours. No, I don't know why, either.

A human appears in a remote batpony town. Well... he appears a good distance above the tree canopy outside of said town. Bruised and battered, he's rescued by three strange equine creatures.

What were these talking horses? How did he get here? Where exactly was he?

Better yet, who was he?

My first story, and I decided to make it HiE. Don't expect regular updates, if any at all. Prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.

For as long as Sunny can remember, there have been tales of a strange hermit living deep in the Everfree Forest, the most dangerous place in Equestria. Of course, nopony could ever prove if this was true. After all, who in their right mind would actually go there? Unfortunately for Sunny, she may not have a choice, as during a test flight on the Mare Stream, she and Zipp crash land in the middle of that very forest. With no way out and timberwolves just waiting to pounce, what else can she do but hope that the tales are true?

And just who, or what, is this hermit supposed to be, anyway?

This story is a sequel to The Hermit

It has been a couple of months since Sunny and Zipp were stranded in the Everfree Forest. Their encounter with Anon still weighs heavily on Sunny's mind, so it comes as a pleasant surprise when he arrives in Maretime Bay one quiet morning.

However, although he is eager to speak to Sunny and Zipp again, Anon begins seeing more similarities between the past and the present than he is comfortable with. As a result, Sunny, Zipp, Pipp, Izzy, Hitch, and Misty find themselves under a great deal of pressure to do something that Anon doesn't seem too keen on explaining fully.

What is it that has Anon, immortal spouse of the long-deceased Celestia, so anxious? What is he trying to accomplish?

And what is he so desperate to hide from Sunny?

Twilight hears a knock on her door. It appears Anon has decided he wants to enter the local talent show and he’s shown up asking for her help. Curious.

On a visit to the Everfree forest, Fluttershy encounters a creature she has never seen before. It’s tall, it wears clothes and nopony can understand it. Can the ponies of Ponyville make friends with this new creature, even when they do not understand eachother?

(28.1.2017) Did I...Did I get featured? I think I got featured!

Huge thanks to lordelliott for helping me proofread and edit.

Rainbow Dash's morning was pretty much ruined.
She tripped getting out of bed and landed flat on her face, giving herself an aching muzzle.
She forgot to buy her favorite brand of hay flakes at the store yesterday and had to eat plain toast for breakfast.
She found out she had to pull double-duty today and tomorrow on the weather patrol.
Oh, and she found a nearly-dead foal, broken and bleeding at the edge of Ponyville.

The rest of her day became a whirlpool of stress and worry but the colt woke up, thank Celestia.
Something's not right, though. Nopony can find his parents, he's not in the registers, and there's an unsettling look in his eye...

-
YouTube reading by Fire Hearth

Chinese Translation by forgivenlove

Russian Translation by Likantrop

TV Tropes page, if you're interested in that sort of thing.

This story is a sequel to Anon is Incarcerated Due to His Involvement in the Transportation of Crack Cocaine

AIDHITCC (Anon is Incinerated Due to His Involvement in the Transportation of Crack Cocaine) is the direct sequel to the critically acclaimed AIDHITCC (Anon is Incarcerated Due to His Involvement in the Transportation of Crack Cocaine.)

The current story follows Anon, an immensely powerful creature who has recently been captured by Princess Celestia for his transgressions against pony kind. Usually he is not one to be caught with his pants down, however, his greatest weakness had been exploited at the most inopportune time and now he finds himself at the mercy of the pony leader.

‘What is his greatest weakness?’ You may ask?

Well, I’m glad you’re so curious!

It’s off screen plot convenience.

(Some readers may be disturbed. This is a very serious fanfiction for very serious fanfictioneers. Rated 7/10 by Steve Jobs, who is quoted as saying: “A piece of literature so good, It motivated me to come back to life and get cancer again before dying a second time.”)

Also plz be nic3 firs stry on this site thx ☺️

Shout out to God, my proof reader. And shout out to Lowe’s for sponsoring this story. Perform the Dougie at your local empty Lowe’s parking lot (only redeemable during midnight) to increase the price of your next transaction by 30%. Thank you once again to Lowe’s for sponsoring this story.

WARNING: BY READING THIS MESSAGE YOU AGREE TO THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS. Which means you need to PayPal me money. If you don’t have money, mail yourself to my multimillion shekel mansion and I guess I’ll make due.

Please send thoughts and prays as I’m kinda in a bad place right now. Not mentally, I just live in Canada.

This story is a sequel to Princess Is Sad? Boop the Snoot

Several months after his 'encounter' with Princess Celestia in the throne room, Anon's life had come to a bit of a lull. He was content in his solitude and was enjoying spending his days doing... not much at all.
And occasionally abusing boops to get his way, but that's less important.

When he comes to realize the difference between solitude and loneliness, he sets out to fix it.

After getting shipped off to Canterlot due to some slight misunderstandings and slight timberwolf attacks, there's a tab bit more to deal with than he'd expect.

Like Princess Luna. And rebuilding bridges with Twilight.
And Princess Celestia's odd behaviour.

Image, for those curious. Give the artist some love!
Previous Image used. Still, give this artist some love, too!

Previously featured multiple times- I can't put how thankful I am for that. I'm glad you folks enjoy my silly stories.

Now featuring my Ko-fi, if you're feeling generous!

Anon feels like bonding with the pony personification of the sun; Princess Celestia. More specifically, he feels like sexually bonding with her.

Princess Luna doesn’t know how to feel about that.

WARNING: Profanity, and I mean a ridiculous amount of profanity. Also sex jokes, because bottom of the barrel humour has been fermenting the longest.