//------------------------------//
// 6 - Lost Years 
// Story: Boops are Eternal. Boop the Snoot 
// by L-N 
//------------------------------//

A pony quietly rests her head on your shoulders, her chest gently rising and falling as you carry her off. A light sniffle leaves you as your red face remains buried in her mane, with a single eye not being prickled to death, leaving you ample opportunity to not run into a wall.

'Thank you.' You don't really know who you're thanking at this point. Celestia? Reality? You haven't yet decided. All that you really have decided is that you weren't going to mess up this chance.

A lot of thoughts had passed through your head recently. And now seemed like the correct time to deal with them.

Firstly: Who are you, and why are you being that person?

Secondly: Why did you let yourself retreat for all of that time?

Thirdly: What's changed, and what can you do moving forwards?

A sense of reality almost comes over you. The constant back and forth, the unnatural pacing, has come to an odd pause. Your head still hurts, and the magic Twilight used still pulses uncomfortably through your body, in the way only she can do... But at the moment, it helped.

The light stinging pain, from your head, felt in your ears like a headache's pulse, down your chest, to your shoulders, to your fingers, then down through your hips, and legs, and feet- it was a constant dull ache that almost reminded you, that you were alive.

As... 'allergic' to magic as you could be, despite the special healing spells Twilight had made for you, all that time ago.

It reminded you that every moment mattered, and that every time you let time pass by in a blur, you were doing a disservice. To everyone else, as much as yourself.

... At times it was easy to forget how many chances you'd been given at life. Off the top of your head- First, surviving the mess that got you here. Secondly, the whole Tirek fiasco. Thirdly, the Timberwolf situation recently. There were likely others, too, many of them relating to the pony you were clutching close.

... In fact, that brought something important to mind. A few things.
For now, you could focus on bringing what you offered to this world, maybe. Instead of crawling back to that little hole you made for yourself.

Your shoes continued to dully muffle against the carpet, occasionally breaking into a few 'clicks' as the fabric temporarily broke at a junction, you turning to follow the path back to your room. Every time bringing you back to the moment, as you reminded yourself where you needed to go. The winding hallways, the maze-like purgatory this castle almost seemed like at times...

You're not sure how a pony could live here and remain sane, honestly. Even the signs on the wall seemed to blend together at times. Maybe this is why Twilight didn't like to stay here too often, or got sick of the chaos. Because the chaos, in these hallways, seemed like a sentence of sorts.

Regardless, your arms shuffled. The pudgy mare curled into your chest, her forelegs gently over your shoulders, her head buried uncomfortably forwards into your neck- though anytime her head moved out of the way, despite how uncomfortable it seemed, she always found her way back to it- bouncing gently against the arm under her as she trusted you to carry her away in her sleep. The arm on her back gently rubbing away at her, to comfort her.

All of this, was something that couldn't be easily gotten. And that you didn't feel like you fully earned back, quite yet. That precious lavender scent returning, buried in a fruity wash she tried to use to hide the whole alicorn-'presence.'
... The whole scent thing, you realise, should've been more obvious before. But maybe it was the confusion of your nostrils in the streets of Ponyville that had you filter it out.

You promised yourself, quietly, that this wouldn't only be your return. You'd have to make this all back up to her. To all of them, soon. Getting yourself hurt, growing so distant... it could only be done for so long before it became excessive. And you planned to fix that.

...

You gently plant a little kiss on her head, as you come to the last junction your mind remembers from the fog before. The door to a guest room appears ahead, and you swerve off to it, sighing with relief to yourself.

A pony passes by quietly- suddenly reminding you that, despite everything, life would still move. Even if you were stuck for such a long time. His blonde mane bouncing by as he swerved to give you a wide berth.
Considering who it was, that actually surprised you a bit. That compass-rose cutie-mark is hard to miss. Though he looked... disheveled, at that.

"Excuse me." He'd say, sounding as tired as he looked, giving you and Twilight an oddly nice look before noticing she was asleep and quieting down anything else he was going to say. Then disappeared around a corner. Again... surprising.

That dull melancholy returns for just a moment, a feeling of understanding passing through you before you twist the door open. Twilight finally stirs as the hinges make a loud mrrr, something you quietly note was probably on-purpose to avoid assassins and such, especially in a post-changelings world.

"Stay asleep," You quietly say to her, clutching her close. She obliges, smacking her lips and humming contently as she nuzzles deeper into your neck. Gently prickling away at some new peach-fuzz under the green, as the light hitch in her breath settles back into a deep cadence.

You reach to the wall, to activate a spell to get the lights going-

Only to suddenly find it stopped by a fuzzy hoof.

"I suppose you're wondering why I've gathered you here today?" A familiar, scratchy, tomboy-ish voice rings out.

"... Rainbow, that doesn't even make sense, the fuck are y-"

Suddenly, and abruptly, the lights flick on and a pile of ponies assaults you, and Twilight is no longer asleep.





"G-girls, I told you to stop!" Twilight cries, albeit quietly, at the scene in front of her.

"... I regret everything... I'm sorry..." You groan out, in response. Before a blue hoof removes the air from your gut again.

"Sorry?! D-do you know how many times we found her cryi-"

"RAINBOW, STOP!" Twilight yells, again, cutting Rainbow off.

"Y-yes dear, I think we should-uhm... consider why Twilight was in his arms, coming here?" Rarity pipes in.

"Y-yeah, uh... maybe we should-err... Uh..." Applejack looks about ready to crawl into a hole and die. Shyly hiding the hoof she'd used to dislocate your shoulder.

You can only groan in agony, in response. You're pretty sure nothing was broken, buuut... Those scars were sure as hell not getting a break, huh...

Twilight rushes over to you, unceremoniously yeeting the pegasus off of you into a wall by pure blunt-force pudge, before fussing over you. "I-is anything broken, or-or?-"

"Just my pride," You groan, as her magic starts to flow over you as you lay in a crumpled pile in front of the door.

The scene, as it was, was a mostly ugly one. Apparently the other five girls- plus Spike- had holed up in your room to interrogate you over recent events. Or, well, ask, before it took so long. And... the past few years. And then you took forever to go back to your room, and they assumed Twilight was going to show up at your room to check on you. And then assumed she used a spell for it. And assumed you were avoiding her. Or, well, Rainbow did. And then AJ got riled up. And Rarity. And Fluttershy got upset. And then Pinkie deflated. And Spike got hungry, so he peaced out to go eat some dinner and pass out in Twilight's room.

Generally, everything sort of spiralled worse and worse due to a lack of information- leading to you getting jumped by a farm-mare and an athlete, and momentarily dragged away by a burst of magic from an angry seamstress with violent intent.

To say they loved Twilight would be an understatement. Rarity would usually back you up in the past, and her getting riled up said a lot.
Maybe she assumed you were finally off the deep-end, who knew? After all, Twilight probably talked to them about everything recently... even if she always avoided some topics with them.

And, to be fair, you did seem a little mental, especially with the whole 'Vulkan Lives' schtick back in Ponyville.
... Okay, so you were a little mental. Those years were not kind on you.

Also OW FUCK TWILIGHT POPPED YOUR SHOULDER BACK IN-
And now your mouth tastes like purple pony! Also muffled yelling!

"S-sorry... they-uhm..." Twilight shyly backed off, before clearing her throat and staring daggers at them. "Actually- what were you doing?! Were you just going to wait in his room here and beat him up or something?!"

They all proceeded to deflate and hide away. Except maybe Rainbow, who seemed to puff up more in defiance. Even if she seemed a bit ashamed. And had more than her pride bruised by the bump in the wall she'd made.

"We-uh... might've gotten a bit riled up, thinkin' he was avoiding you still, even after you'd healed him up, an' all..." AJ shyly admits for them, again, after the worst of the chaos was over.

You can tell Twilight is about to take zero-percent of their shit, as one of her eyes twitches. And a few hairs pop out. "... And you think ganging up on him would solve anything?! What if he got even more afraid to speak up to me- what if he just ran off or something, thinking he'd messed up entirely?!"

They deflated even more.

"W-with how he'd been walking around Ponyville, that empty look to him after everything that happened, and how I failed to protect him in time or reach out to him-" You find your heart sink into the deepest parts of your chest. "-You think that'd help?! F-for Celestia's sake, Rarity, you of all ponies, who kept up with him even a little bit- why did you seem ready to beat the tar out of him?! I-I just got the help I needed to get him back, and you could've just... just..."

The stress seemed to completely and utterly collapse on her, as she seemed to struggle to breathe for a moment. Pretty much everyone made a move to get at her, but you being next to her decided it, as you abruptly grabbed onto her and tugged her close to you again.

Whatever lingering emotions from everything that'd happened recently came to a complete crescendo, as her earlier, far more gentle crying, was replaced by a far more violent sob as she completely curled herself into your chest.

If you thought what was going on in your head was bad enough... Now you had to see the rest of what you wrought.

Not only... not only the blame Twilight put on herself, but now the shame and sadness on the faces around her, too.

... You'd focus on them more, if it weren't for the fact you think that'd erode what little left you had of your own restraint. For now you were content to let Twilight lose herself on your lap, sobbing into your chest, every little emotional weight coming crashing down.

Years of neglect and pain, all at once- brought forward by your own dumb actions, and what they seemed to cause.

... You're not a good person. As much as Celestia or whoelse might disagree... you did some damage. Some serious damage. That you're not sure you can ever fix or live up to.

"D-don't you bucking... dare..." Twilight's voice cracks from under you, suddenly looking up on your face. With how wet her eyes were... you could see how tired and empty your own face looked. And how utterly pissed she looked due to it. "D-don't you dare make this all your fault- you were maimed and broken and left alone for years with no help from any of us! We didn't bother to even try and left you alone! I-I just healed you and ran before, I didn't even try like this time! N-none of them are innocent! I'm not innocent! W-we all did dumb things, not just you, and if for a single moment you dare to pin it all on yourself-"

She breaks out coughing, her chest heaving as the stress seems to crush her. Something you'd only seen once or twice in your life- and something her brother had warned you about, long, long ago. The others seem to all have crumpled in their own way from hearing what she was saying, only for them to all suddenly go stiff seeing her degrade like that.

In one swift moment- you bury your dumb thoughts completely. Turn them off. And fucking move.

You clutch her hard to your chest, and bring her nose to yours, quietly leaning back to the door as you settled into your special place. Her breath, hitched and struggling as it may be, being encouraged to match yours as you try and steady your breath... even as yours shuddered coming out. Her face going a complete flush as she realised the audience around you, something you still didn't quite understand, but she manages to swallow down a massive lump in her throat and pull in one massive breath, before her breathing slowly matches yours. Ragged as both of yours may be... it worked.

It might've also helped that all of others had abruptly dog-piled in to try and hug her. Completely neglecting the fact that you usually need space when having a panic attack. But what could you do, with these silly ponies...

You could be assured that you were helping, at least. Her breathing still matching yours as she let out a choked laugh, giggling at them.

"Y-you guys know you're supposed to... give ponies who are struggling like that some room, right?" She says, leaving you feeling entirely vindicated.

They pull back shyly as a group, all laughing awkwardly, only for her to beckon them back with a hoof, giggling some more.

"Damage is done. I just... need a moment. Please. With everyone."

They hesitate for a moment, which only causes her to let out a frustrated snort and pull them in with a bit of magic.

It was at that point the familiar feeling of a group hug, something you'd... honestly forgot how good it felt, came over you. A bunch of silly little ponies curling around Twilight, who was so buried into you for comfort, they ended up around you too. And it... made you smile a bit.

"... Sorry." Quite literally everyone said at once. From you, to Twilight, to the other five.

"... JINX!" Pinkie could not restrain herself, yelling above everyone, making everybody go completely stiff.

And in one swift moment- the tension died as everyone abruptly laughed at the absurdity.

"P-pinkie, couldn't you have stayed quiet, just this once?" Twilight asked, before Pinkie responded with the usual lack-of-time-to-process she usually would:

"Nnnnope, you were all being grumpy and sad and this scene was dragging on!" She spoke remarkably cheerfully.

"... Scene?" AJ asked, incredulous.

"Best not to ask. Last time we did, the world seemed to... bend." Rarity spoke, before everyone-present-sans-ponk found a chill go down their spines.

Pinkie, was now bouncing in place and humming a happy tune to herself, seemingly content in ruining the edginess.

Yeah, you didn't need a repeat of the incident. If this was a 'scene', she could have her way in changing it's tone.

"... Okay, you all might be really ready to have Pinkie suddenly pull us out of this but-" Rainbow started to speak up, before a pink hoof violated her snoot. After a scrunch of the ages, she nudged her head to the side and glared daggers at her, before continuing. "-That doesn't change how weird all of this is! He suddenly appears back after all of this time, and we're supposed to just forgive him?!"

"Rainbow," AJ started, sighing. "Were you listening to Twi?"

"... Yeah, sorta! But I'm still mad at him!"

"You're not the only one." You dully say, only for Twilight to hit your gut again- "Okay, okay, fine, no more self-deprecation, jeez-"

She all but entirely violates your personal space as she nuzzles her nose to yours, humming contentedly to herself. "We all messed up. Anon, me, all of you. We... saw the problem, but we all wanted to avoid it. I... I didn't have an excuse with Moondancer, and I don't with this. In fact, I have much less than none. You were... always there. We can get mad over it and all, that's completely fair- but I don't want us to... to not fix this. We're... we're the representations of Harmony, right? If we can't fix this, we can't..."

Her muzzle scrunched up for a moment as she thought, and your lips curled up into a small evil smile. She saw your expression, and proceeded to pout.

"... You're gonna make fun of me for doing another cheesy monologue, aren't you?" She grumbles.

"Yes." You say, simply.

"... You have to talk to them all alone tomorrow, one-on-one. I'm not helping you. Buck you."

That's the Twilight you knew. The bitchy vendetta-driven unicorn, deep down under the 'princess.'

That didn't stop you from panicking, though.

"Twilight, no, Rainbow is going to dislocate my jaw-" You try and interject, the slightest of panics coming over you.

"You should've thought of that, hmm?~"

Okay, you really missed this side of her, but still, you're in danger. Bad danger. Butterflies mean nothing to this terror.

"... Alright, we were mad for ya', but no need ta' be sadistic, Twi." AJ quietly moved in for your defense. To say the look you gave her was thankful would be an understatement. "Heck, I don't even know what ah'd say..."

"Err... While I might be able to manage it, I think Rainbow might cause a problem, and Fluttershy might... simply not," Rarity speaks up too.

Twilight pouts again, hiding her head in your chest. "Fine. Revenge later, thoughtfulness now."

... Don't smirk, don't smirk-

"I know you're smiling Anon, and I can and will take that back."

"I-I'm sorry, I'm a terrible person, I can't help it-" You try and save-but-not yourself, before Twilight leans further into you, letting your back completely settle against the door as she matches her breathing to your's. She seems oddly... confident, even.

It makes you feel weirdly content, at that. In a way you can't describe.

She sighs, a sense of relief coming over you from just how... calm she seemed. In a weird way, you could understand it. Pinkie had certainly taken that weight and smashed it- even if some of it was still there. Her smile definitely helped that.

Also the fact she seemed to be seconds away from just crumpling into the pile of ponies and human. The poor girl seemed about ready to completely pass out. Stress and relief would do that, huh...

In fact, you could understand that quite well. You feel about ready to pass the hell out too.

... Pinkie's giving you two a weird smile. Twilight noticed too.

"Pinkie, why are you staring at us like that?" Twilight broke the silence.

"Noooothing~" She hummed simply, bouncing off of the pile of ponies, eliciting many an 'oof', before flipping perfectly onto the bed. Perched over the side, watching the pile of ponies with a big smile.

Never doubt the power of the element of laughter, huh? Doubly so since everyone seems to be laughing at you two.

Dunno why, but you feel embarrassed about that...

You sigh, your head thumping back onto the door with a loud knock. "5 apologies, tracking down a princess or two, whatever else is going on my brain is too tired to remember... fun day, fun day. How the hell do you guys even manage to do all of this in a day or two usually?"

"I dunno," Rainbow answered honestly, with a shrug.

"You don't count, you can't pay attention long enough to stay mad at someone."

"H-hey!"

This time, the laughter was at her expense, and you were perfectly happy to let that happen, especially as she stammered and blushed madly.

"Some thing really never do change, huh? Is Fluttershy still..."

"Yup." AJ answered simply.

"And you a stubborn-"

"Worked on that." Aj answered, this time flatly.

"Okay, good." Your grin returns as Applejack rolls her eyes at you, smirking. "And Rarity?"

"The high-life is overrated. I'll earn it and fix the system myself." She spoke as prim and proper as someone with a vendetta might, her muzzle turning up in the process with a 'hmph.'

"Damn, some things do change! You go girl! But-uh... yeah I can't be the authority on changing or not. Ignore me." You snicker, the light dull aches of your scars now starting to set in and quieting you back down. Twilight seemed to notice this in seconds, quickly weaving another spell in.

"Potion's running out... we're gonna need more if you're gonna keep getting yourself dinged up. A normal healing spell will just..."

"I haven't forgotten, Twilight." You whispered back.

"... And the last time you took off... y'know? That's got to be doing some damage..."

Your pokerface reaches critical levels. She sighs in response, nuzzling into your neck.

"Just... by now you should've..."

"I'm not ready."

"Okay. Can I at least check it later? I'm sure I can improve it now..."

"Just... time, please."

She nods silently, offering her own 'support' by moving back to do the matching-breath thing she seems to enjoy. Which you're certain is mostly for her. Everyone around you gives you two a weird look, but you decide to close your eyes instead of dealing with it.

"... He ill or something?" Applejack of course asks anyways.

"No, no, it's... complicated. Other-world things, it'd take too long to..." Twilight yawns mid-sentence, having at least the common decency to do it away from you. "Just... don't worry about it."

"Alright," AJ shrugged, before standing up herself to go perch on your bed next to Pinkie.

"So... is the plan for us to just... sleep here tonight? Have our little reunion moment before we get into more dramatics?" Rarity pitches in, gently taking Fluttershy with her as she gets up, notably giving you two another weird look topped off with a smirk.

"I-uh... wouldn't mind that?" Fluttershy says as she's being forcefully relocated, 'I want to hug, no talking' wiggling hooves quietly retracting with a little blush as she's plopped onto the bed.

"Well, issue is there being enough room, you know," You say, wiggling back to a full-sit. With a rebellious purple pony refusing to be without her snuggle or breath-matching, keeping chest-to-chest with you. "Unless you were all going to just..."

Pinkie has an evil grin.

"Okay, so the injured human is going to be a big pillow. Is this revenge?"

"Yup!" Pinkie chimed in, happily.

"Well, fuck me, that's fair I guess." You nod, giving Twilight a little squeeze to enjoy your last moment of not-overheating-or-dying before standing up, bringing her with you. You'll never get sick of that little look of awe when you do that, nor how Twilight wiggles that littlest bit and goes red. Regardless, you bring her over and fall over onto the bed- very content when you get a few 'hey!'s for it, wiggling yourself over to your pillow. You decide the sheets are not a wise option for the night, considering the pile of pony... only for Rarity to steal it out from under you and air it out, abruptly sneaking it over all of you as the pony-pile forms itself over your body.

"Oh, I'm gonna die..."

"Put up with it for a night, dear~ We could just get mad at you and do something unsightly again~"

"Nope, I'll overheat, thanks, enough pain for one lifetime..."

A few soft laughs ring out as a veritable rainbow- one's a cheater she doesn't count- of pony-heads to nuzzle up to your general chest-and-head area. With Twilight, of course, splaying across your chest and seemingly shoving any who dare try to take her throne away from her away.

... Emotions, this is not the time.

Sleep however, you're more than welcome to come!

Until suddenly the door smacks open.

"G-guys, the kitchen was open, turns out there was going to be a big dinner or something?! There were fire-rubies and cakes and- oh, did you guys stop being stupid and make up with him?" Spike barges in, like a storm.

"... Spike, dear?" Rarity asks, sweet as poison.

"Y-yes?" He responds, the fear only a kid well-experience with that tone could feel coming through the tremble in his voice.

"Be a part of this, get us snacks, or leave."

"... O-okay!" And with that, he went to get snacks. Slamming the door behind him again.

"... The fuck has this week even been for me-" You choke out a laugh. "God I missed the shenanigans you guys bring everywhere you go!"

The others have a little laugh of their own, as you overheat into a sleep-coma.