Alright. So, after figuring out you had absolutely no clue where Twilight would be, the Princess ended up taking the lead, after a bit of magic, to wherever she is.
Thankfully, according to Celestia, she was alone.
Less-than-thankfully, according to your instincts to book it, she was alone.
Everything felt like it was going at a thousand miles an hour right now. You couldn't really place it, honestly, but it was a growing concern. It tended to line up with the occasional migraine, you noticed, but other than that, it seemed to just come and go as it felt.
It was noticeable. It was distracting.
Like, you're pretty sure you just went past 10 hallway junctions in the time it took to mentally process all of the above.
Was this why it was so easy to live as you did before? Or is it a consequence of your stupid decisions?
An answer to those questions would be nice.
More turns and hallways passed, more time blurred, some longer, some shorter, and everything seemed to stop when you were faced with hell's gates themselves.
"We're here," Celestia's voice started beside you, as a wing gently pushed you towards the doors to what seemed to be a study if the sign above the door meant anything.
... Well, you asked for this. Might as well not fight it.
If only things could slow down at a good time, but the universe seemed to have other plans today.
A gentle knock at the door seemed to stir the room's one occupant, who quickly responded with a forcefully-cheery "come in!" It would probably not be wrong to assume she was reading or spending some time away from the chaos of the castle. You knew that tone of voice.
You poke your head through the door after cracking it open a couple feet, having to force a small smile when you spot Twilight at the room's largest desk. She's taken aback for a moment but recovers quickly enough to force a smile of her own.
"A-Anon!" She greets but doesn't move from her spot. She doesn't seem guarded or anything, just unsure of what to do.
Same here, Books, same here.
"Should I just...?" You start pretty uncertainly but generally nod towards the room's centre. Generally, as it seems to be a theme for a lot of the non-main rooms of the castle, it seems to be pretty spartan. This particular study is mostly concerned with having a few desks on the perimeter, a bookshelf filled to the brim with pretty big and legal-looking books, and the most oppressive atmosphere you've felt in Equestria other than the throne room.
It generally gives you the vibe that... she's here for much the same reason why you were outside the other night.
To try and fail to distract yourself from thinking about life.
After a pause, trying but failing to find words, Twilight simply nods, allowing you to slip through the door and close it behind you. You might've heard a near-silent "Good luck!" behind you, but you're not sure if that's just what you wanted to hear.
Not dawdling for long, you head to exactly where you gestured before- the dead centre of the room. Which ends up being the poorest choice of the year, because now it's impossible to feel like Twilight isn't boring a hole through your everything, whenever her gaze isn't on the floor. And neither is yours.
Awkwardness, the true killer of sapient life.
"So."
"... So..."
Brilliant start to a conversation, Anonymous. Absolutely brilliant.
...
Godamnit. The same feeling from the other night was coming back.
You're already sick of it.
The migraine, the empty feeling you get when you just want to run- everything you kept falling to over and over again.
No. Not today. Even if everything felt bloody breakneck recently, even if everything was going a bit too fast to handle... You weren't stopping. This was what, years in the making?
To hell with your instinct to run! The cowardice stops!
All it takes is the first step. In the throne-room, here, everywhere.
And you took it.
Your instincts take complete control here, and you just let your feet guide you across the floor over to Twilight. The poor mare shrinks into herself a bit, a habit in ponies, if Celestia was anything to go off of, and do what feels best right now.
You hug her. You'd consider it payback for the other night when she did the same to you.
Now here comes the usual part where you forget that letting your instincts take over without a plan can lead to that awkward moment when you forget how to human.
...
"I- Anon?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you... doing that thing where you just... throw yourself at sad ponies, again?"
She knew you too well.
"I mean, as far as I know, you don't seem sad, so I'll have to go with a solid 'maybe.'"
Her body turns, and in one swift movement, her wings and hooves have both curled around your back to pull you into a full-body hug.
"Thank you."
You let the moment last, you leaned over the side of the chair, her grasping onto you like you'd disappear if she stopped. It was nice, in an odd way.
...
"I-"
Your voice is cut off before you can even start saying anything, as Twilight suddenly starts talking beside you.
"A-Anon I'm so sorry! I-I didn't know what to do. How to talk to you after it all happened, and I let it sit for years and I feel terrible!"
You can't even slip a word in as she continues, her voice getting a distinct shake to it as she went.
"I should've put my guilt and everything behind me and talked to you, but I felt responsible for leaving you behind and getting you hurt and it just kept hurting. I know how you've been living, and it isn't healthy, but I've been a terrible friend and just kept hiding from you this entire time, and never once stopped to help you through anything- andIfeelevenworsebecauseIknowyouthoughtofmeasoneofyourbestfriendsandI'veonly-"
"Tw-Twilight, deep breaths, remember?!"
She seems to be knocked out of it for just long enough to force a bit of oxygen into her lungs, but otherwise tries to continue.
After a few seconds of complete gibberish, and a failed attempt on your part to pull away even slightly to see her face, you have to resort to the age-old method.
Boop.
It works, at least for a second or two, to let you pull away, and put a hand over her mouth.
"Ch-christ Twilight, I know my dad'd give me shit for this, but Jesus, Mary, and whoever the fuck I'm forgetting right now, in the name of whichever God(s) apply here in Equestria, stop for a moment!"
She seems to snap out of it for a moment, before her head lurches back free from your hand.
"D-did I mess it up? I-I-"
Boop. Desperate times call for desperate measures!
This time, her eyes snap to the offending finger, and she seems to genuinely take pause, unable to really process what to do.
You take a few deep breaths, mostly just out of the sheer incredulous feeling that was going through you at the moment, and take your own pause.
... What even?
"Twilight... I just want to say... you have in fact, not messed up, and very possibly, you've done the exact opposite. Because the entire reason I just entered this room was to apologize for never coming to you after everything went down."
Her eyes slowly find their way to yours.
"... Really?"
"... Yep."
"B-but why would you apo-"
"Because I made the shitty decision to go hermit up outside of Ponyville, live like a complete idiot, and never spend a moment trying to fix a relationship that mattered to me! I've hurt some people around me, made some of the literal worst decisions of my life- I'm not exactly mister innocent here, especially after I scared away the third therapist!"
...
Shit, wait, you probably shouldn't have put it that way.
"... Scared?"
And that's why.
"Uh... I may or may not have been in a state of meat-withdrawal at the time... with-uh, every bit of jackass I had coming out..."
"I..."
Her eyes move slowly between your finger and your eyes. Repeatedly. And only after she's done processing every bit of information given to her, which is a bit quicker because of who you're talking to, she pushes your hand aside to rest her head on your shoulder.
You can't see her cracking up at this angle, but you can feel it.
"You're... you're an idiot, you know that?"
"I certainly feel like one, yes."
The familiar feeling of a hoof emptying the air from your gut returns once more, like an old friend. A very painful kind of friend, but a friend nonetheless.
After what felt like the longest moment in your life, but was probably much shorter, whatever humour she had was quickly replaced with a few soft sniffles from the alicorn. Not missing a beat, you offer her another hug, in which she almost cracks your ribs when she returns it.
It was at this moment that, beyond any natural sensory dulling because of your particular situation, you were painfully aware that she was supposed to be casting a spell from time to time to make you not feel like the jungles of Vietnam.
You can't help but give off a little hiss because of that, but after a moment of hesitation and light panic, the familiar, pop-rock-esque feeling of magic returns to your skin.
Now you only have to worry about a few cracked ribs!
All jokes aside, Twilight was still holding onto you for dear life, and whatever sniffles she had before had developed into a full cry.
You weren't going to stop her. Hell, in fact, you were encouraging her to get it all out, lightly rubbing her back.
And you absolutely were not experiencing a few emotions of your own.
Not in the slightest!
It's just... raining inside, you see. In your eyes. Very localized storm.
Magic sure is a weird thing, huh?
God, you had missed her.
In a way, this entire situation felt... well, as fast as basically everything else that had happened recently, but it was hard to find a reason to care about that. In the end, you were happy to have this... moment.
Of course, things don't magically fix themselves. Especially relationships. The world doesn't work that way, even in pony-land, if the little you'd seen of Trixie around the place told you anything.
But, well, this was the first step, even if it was a bit of a shaky one. And hell, if the both of you were beating yourselves up over this the entire time, it'd probably make it that bit easier.
... Barring the overwhelming awkwardness that is bound to happen, as is life.
Actually, about that...
"I just... I know that I probably don't have to say it, but," she was interrupted by a small sniffle, having at the very least run down from the cry before, "I don't... blame you for that."
"I do."
Your reaction is firm, and you try and leave no room for argument.
But this is Twilight, so of course, she tries anyways, "but it wasn't your fault, really, you were-"
"An antisocial ass? Very correct. Self-centred as hell? Also correct. Twilight," you press, giving her a small squeeze to reassure, at the very least, you're sure about this, "I was being dumb, and playing a character way too well. It's on me. Seriously. If there's anyone that should be saying 'I don't blame you', it's me to you, since I know, no matter what title you have, you're the kind of person who struggles to deal with a lot of 'people' stress like that. It was unfair of me to put that on you, I could've even sent you a letter or something. But I didn't."
You loosen your grip somewhat and let her back down onto her chair, even if she seems a bit reluctant to let go.
She mutters something under her breath and shoots you the smallest glare, but otherwise says nothing.
She does glare again, however. But still doesn't say anything.
Sighing, you move down to be exactly eye-level with her.
"Lecture, or cold-shoulder?"
She huffs, and whips her head away from you, giving you a nice slap in the face with her mane.
...
Given a moment to process that, you have to cover your mouth with a hand to stop a laugh from coming out. Yup, this was Twilight. Even playing mental warfare until you capitulate and admit that it was maybe-possibly not all you.
But you were adamant.
And she was stifling a laugh, too.
It was a clearly repeated action, something the two of you shared consistently since you arrived here, and you couldn't help but enjoy it every time.
Yup, this was you and Twilight, the two idiots laughing in the library, all over again. Time and time again.
And god, it felt good.
Even if the feeling was somewhat fleeting, there was really one truth that comes to mind, both of you failing to not laugh at/with each other.
One good day makes all the difference.
And today was shaping up quite nicely, already.
Celestia
Somewhere in Canterlot Castle
A golden glow left her horn as Celestia walked the halls with a small smile growing on her face.
Was watching them probably normal? Absolutely not. Was it snooping to the utmost degree? Probably.
But, well, she had to be sure. Though after Anon had made the first move to embrace her student, she knew it would sort itself out well enough.
... Watching at any point beyond that was absolutely snooping, but still. She had to be sure!
And, seeing how both of them were, for a lack of better words, beating themselves up over the issue, she felt she might have to step in at some point. Again. She could feel the growing anxiety from both parties.
While this past... day or so had been complete improvisation on her part, she still had nudged them together by assigning Twilight to watch over his health, after all. Anything at this point was simply follow-through, after all.
And not an excuse whatsoever for anything else. At all.
Or her assuring herself that she was working with a plan when it was quite obvious that she was coasting along as much as anypony else was at the moment.
...
'I wonder,' she paused for a moment, eyes moving to the hallway behind her, 'could I use the dinner in a few days? It would certainly bring them both out of their shells, so long as I... lighten the mood from time to time.'
The slight mischievous smile that crept its way onto her muzzle would be one familiar to many a maid who had found themselves on the receiving end of several millennia worth of boredom.
As would another, just perhaps for different ponies, somewhere just out of her view.
"I'll offer it to them tomorrow. Separately," she spoke openly, nodding to herself as she moved forwards in the hall.
Of course, even if she was rather confident at the moment, it didn't change the fact that she was walking slowly. After all, the sheer manifestation of bureaucracy in pony-form was probably going to chew her out soon enough.
Especially considering the day was passing by rather... quickly. Time to actually complete any of the tasks she was supposed to was, well, running out.
But that was more than normal for somepony as old as her, especially when her mind wandered. The days normally went by quickly.
Most of the time.
Though the odd speed of it this time was noted.