• Published 5th Jul 2019
  • 10,740 Views, 137 Comments

Boops are Eternal. Boop the Snoot - L-N

After his 'encounter' with Princess Celestia in the throne room, Anon's life had come to a bit of a lull. That quickly revolves itself after a misunderstanding and a timberwolf attack leads him back to Canterlot. Shenanigans ensue.

  • ...

1.5 - Pony Uno (tm)

Author's Note:

Welcome to the first (.5) chapter, where I write down whatever crazy thing that may or may not be important to the plot- but I damn well enjoy writing anyways.

May god have mercy on our souls.

Once you and Twilight recovered from... that, the two of you made the executive decision to sit down and eat something instead of 404ing.

It turned out to be a not-half-bad choice, as you learned one vital piece of information not too soon afterwards.

This is a castle. This is the capital building of a nation. You were placed in a guest suite. This confirms a few things.

But the only thing which matters right now is that something you have been deprived of has returned to your hands.

Because you see, foreign dignitaries came to the castle every now and then. That meant that the chefs had to be flexible as all hell, and able to fill any palette out there so that Equestria seemed as 'welcoming' as it tried to be. At least in doctrine.

To stop mincing words- they had beef. Beef from non-sentient griffonian sources.

They had ham. Apparently, this was something the apples produced. They never told you.

They had lamb (another non-sentient variety- though this one oddly came from the hippogryphs.)

They had turkey.

They had chicken.

To put it short, you ended up having the greatest carnivore's feast of the century. And since Twilight couldn't disprove the fact that the protein would help you recover what little left you still had to...

You're in nirvana.
You're also humming one of their songs.

You're also about to pass out.

The purple menace shoves you in the side, barely keeping you awake.
You were just resting your head for a minute! It's her fault that she couldn't see your eyes open under your arms.

But it may or may not have been your fault that they were closed anyway.

You flop an arm at Books and try to fend her off. "We shtill need tuh talhk to Luna. Dish best way."

Oh fuck, hearing yourself, you are tired.
Twilight might've mentioned something about the medicine keeping you asleep for a day or two.
You might've forgotten that the moment she told you.

"Okay, one, she's probably awake by now and doing whatever she needs to do. So she probably isn't dream-walking right now. Two, she'll likely be in here to eat something soon, so you'll have a better opportunity to talk to her if you're awake!" Right on cue, purps shoves you out of your chair, sending you tumbling into the floor.

There may be carpet in the building- but it's on top of the marble. Ow.

You don't bother recovering fully and instead resort to flopping onto your back. "How shoon is 'hshoon'?"

"Probably... an hour," Twilight shrugs, looking at what you can only assume is a clock in the distance.

"G'night," you counter, closing your eyes.

"Fine. No more meat, then."

You pop a single eye open only to give her a death-glare.

It's a very short-lasting death-glare as you see Twilight holding the one thing that keeps you awake- no matter what- in front of her.

Pony Uno (tm).

You casually climb to your feet in approximately a single second before clumsily shambling back to your chair.

"Hit me."

She does. Literally.

You can't express how much you missed this.

In a mostly-tired daze, you grab the offensive hoof and scoop her into a hug. Because damn the consequences- she plays off of you well, and she has Pony Uno (tm).

To your surprise, she doesn't actually resist. She snuggles into you instead.

You can't hear what she said, but she takes about 5 seconds away from your Pony Uno (tm) game before moving to another chair to play.

You stare down at your last four cards, giving Twilight your best poker-face. So far, your last card on the table had been a green reverse. Useless in a two-man game, sure, but it was worth it. You wanted to screw with her and make it look like you were out of greens.

Instead of taking out a trump-card or something (like a +2), she puts down a green 6.

You fool!

You look down at your deck and suddenly give a shit-eating grin.

Twilight looks horrified.

One-by-one, you put down the first four cards you got in the game. 4 +4's.

"Checkmate. Oh, and Pony Uno (tm) too, I guess."

Twilight starts sputtering wildly. She stares at the four cards and also makes the connection.

"Those were your first..."


She looks ready to fire out some sort of accusation, but you casually take the reverse out from under the other 5 cards.

"You were the one who shuffled the deck this time Twilight, not me. Cosmological chances say 'fuck you.'"

Her head hits the table with a hard thump.