This story takes place after Mwah Mwah Mwah! and its prequels, but knowledge of them is not necessary to enjoy this one.

While buying groceries with your wife, Pinkie Pie, something catches both her eye and her heart. She really, really wants one.

You have to remind her that you have plenty at home already.

With Maud settling down in Ponyville, Marble studying in the Crystal Empire, and her parents finally deciding to retire, Pinkie Pie wonders if Limestone is going to be okay running the Pie Family Farm all by herself. She's never done well on her own, and her cold demeanor probably isn't going to get her a boyfriend anytime soon.

Luckily, she knows an equally lonely human who is perfect for the job!

3/14/24 Still Alive Edition

There's only one pony in Ponyville that the Mane Six have never met. Pinkie Pie has never thrown him a party, Applejack has never sold him a mug of cider, and Twilight has never seen him check out any books. And as far as that unicorn, Lapis Print, is concerned, that's exactly how it should be.

Lapis can't risk them knowing where he lives, what he does for a living, or even what his name is - if he gets his way, the Mane Six won't even know he exists, and nopony in Ponyville will miss him once he's gone.

It should be a piece of cake - after all, it's not like the biggest magical power in Equestria is about making sure everypony looks out for each other, right?

(Rated Teen for language - mental cursing mostly.)

On a day like any other, Anon finds a strange mare in his garden. He barely gets a word in before she runs away.

He hopes she comes back.

Huge thanks to Mikkybun for the custom cover art!

Opaline Arcana has sowed dissent and anger across Equestria. With the nation divided, Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends are struggling to contain the ambitious alicorn. If something isn't done soon, Twilight will have no choice but to store Equestria's magic into the Unity Crystals, putting all of ponykind at risk.

Before that, though, Twilight has an idea. There's a prisoner locked away in Tartarus that was forgotten by history. He might be just what they need to stop Opaline. However, letting him loose could spell disaster for Equestria.

It's a risk she has to take.

This story is a sequel to Dear Princess Sunbutt

When Anon takes the liberty to inject his particular brand of humor into Twilight's friendship lessons, Celestia feels the need to respond, more often than not.

A somewhat unofficial sisterfic to 2Merr's Dear Princess Sunbutt

There may not be a response to every letter, and letters 1-11 were taken from my comments in said sister-story.

Please support 2Merr's story too if you like this one. This is written with encouragement of the original author.

(Note: Picture used without permission from Derpibooru. Upon request it will be promptly removed.)

EDIT: Apparently someone's done a reading of this and its sisterfic over on Youtube! Why does nopony tell me these things.

Anon takes over Spike’s job of transcribing Twilight’s friendship reports. He does exactly what you’d expect.

Companion fic containing Celestia’s replies up to Letter 120 - To: Anon, From HRH Sunbutt written by Snow