1. Member Since 19th Mar, 2012
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Quoth the raven: "CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW"

Ego Box

"Aragon is someone everyone should know, but also deny ever having heard of."

-- Professor Plum

"Short, dark, and handsome. [...] Has a delicious accent."

-- Swan Song

"Aragon.  You are what Hunter Thompson could have been, if he'd done less drugs and more hentai."

-- Bad Horse

"I'm pretty sure you are the abyss Nietzsche warned us about gazing into."

-- FanOfMostEverything

"You know how Douglas Adams described flying as throwing yourself as hard as you can at the ground and missing? Aragon fails up."

-- MrNumbers

Business Trade

You can commission stuff, here are my rates and extra info. PM me if you want a blog or a story!

And Paypal link, if you just want to tip me. Thanks!

Currently Writing

Sunsettle for This: Chapter 3 is done, or maybe it isn't -- so far I have 14k words written out of an expected who the fuck knows. I want to finish the current bit of the story, so as to say, and then see how posting will go. I'm almost sure this is technically two, maybe even three chapters I'm writing in a row -- but it's the kind of thing that needs to be finished and edited at the same time before posting anything.

So yeah, let's just say I'm writing the next two chapters, and the first one is already finished. Second one is halfway done. So, this one is coming soon.

Romance Blog #7: Moment I finish the stuff detailed above, yo.

Latest Stories

  • E Evil is Easy, Governing is Harder

    One day, just like that, Celestia decides she's going to go mad with power.  · Aragon
    18,246 words · 8,627 views  ·  1,154  ·  28
  • T Poets Hate Maidens

    Fluttershy is absolutely terrified. She just dreamed the perfect dream.  · Aragon
    3,967 words · 3,160 views  ·  369  ·  29
  • T Sunsettle For This

    Twilight is a hammer in want of a nail. Sunset would rather a good screw.  · Aragon
    36,936 words · 2,248 views  ·  219  ·  25
  • E The Conversion Burro: Making an Ass of Yourself

    Drinking the serum is an extremely difficult choice, but at least you know it will turn you into a pony. Right? A satire and salute to the Conversion Bureau  · Aragon
    14,325 words · 1,263 views  ·  137  ·  27
  • E Hear the Baby Laughing

    Princess Flurry Heart has been a little kidnapped. And only Shining Armor and Princess Cadance can save—roughly three quarters of—her.  · Aragon
    12,255 words · 2,481 views  ·  212  ·  19
  • E A Million Little Lights

    Tonight, Celestia will talk to Shining Armor. With just one conversation, she needs to save Equestria.  · Aragon
    2,176 words · 6,656 views  ·  894  ·  27
  • E Flip a Coin and She Smiles

    Octavia's and Vinyl's life together. You think it's simple, and I'm going to prove you're wrong. So, heads or tails?  · Aragon
    4,622 words · 3,113 views  ·  302  ·  25
  • T NO NO NO NO NO WE HATE HIM WE ALL HATE HIM GOSH DARNIT NO JUST DON'T

    Octavia tells her friends she's dating Discord. They take it well.  · Aragon
    6,813 words · 4,751 views  ·  485  ·  43
  • T Would Bang

    When you need some advice with the ladies, you can always turn to your bros. Bros got your back, bro. A bromantic comedy.  · Aragon
    4,558 words · 4,843 views  ·  598  ·  38
  • E Fly Hard

    If there's something Daring Do hates, it's fancy Hearth's Warming parties. If there's something Daring Do loves, it's saving the world. Combine the two, watch how long she lasts.  · Aragon
    12,818 words · 2,043 views  ·  196  ·  2

Permanent Index: "It Feels Rapey" -- A Caustic Guide On How Not To Write Romance

I'm an idiot who doesn't know anything about romance. And I lost my computer for two weeks. I had nothing to do, so I took out my phone and, perhaps naïvely, I thought that reading some fanfics would be a good idea.

So I spent two weeks reading shitty romantic fanfiction over AO3.

It was the mental equivalent of feeding my balls to a baby whale.

This blog series is a chronicle of the many, many mistakes I found during those two weeks, and also a shopping list of all the ways I can tell the Internet to go fuck itself.


Part One: "It Feels Rapey" -- Three Horrible Mistakes To Avoid When Writing Romance ("Why are they in love", "That is not how humans work", and "Why are they acting like children").

Part Two: "It Still Feels Rapey" -- Common Mistakes When Writing Romance (The "Twilight Male Character" stereotype).

Part Three: "It Feels Rapier than ever" -- Another Horrible Mistake To Avoid When Writing Romance (The "Tsundere").

Part Four: "Hell is Empty" -- Another Mistake To Avoid When Writing Romance (The "Filler").

Part Five: It Feels Rapey, and it Breaks My Heart: The Greatest Mistake when Writing Romance (The "Harem Comedy", Part One).

Part Six: It Feels Rapey: Harem Comedies, or How I Hate your Waifu (The "Harem Comedy", Part Two).

Ongoing, I try to post a new one every month or so.

DONE saga! You don't need to read them in order!

  • Daring DONE! Rainbow Dash finds out that Twilight's mom is the author of the Daring Do saga. Things escalate quickly from there. by Aragon 5,538 words · 17,835 views · 2,778 likes · 45 dislikes
  • Twilight DONE! Twilight needs to rule Equestria for a whole week. There's no way this can go wrong. by Aragon 3,873 words · 11,148 views · 1,496 likes · 26 dislikes
  • Shining DONE! The day of Shining Armor and Cadance's wedding anniversary is coming. Shining Armor, wants to give his wife a truly exceptional present, so he asks the Royal Guard of Canterlot for help. Things get very out of hoof from there. by Aragon 8,846 words · 6,485 views · 777 likes · 20 dislikes
  • Parenting is Easy, I Swear Cadance and Night Light share a pleasant conversation in a café. Everything somehow manages to get really weird, really fast. by Aragon 11,525 words · 7,274 views · 1,022 likes · 41 dislikes

Long Story Short Continuity

  • Long Story Short, Things Went Down Carrot Top discovers her coltfriend is cheating on her. Her first reaction is to kick him to next Monday, even though that can get her in jail. Good news? Her friends are going to get her out of trouble. Bad news? They're all sociopaths. by Aragon 49,934 words · 6,208 views · 824 likes · 43 dislikes
  • Sow The Wind, Reap The Whirlwind Time Turner is preparing for the most important lecture of his life. One wrong move will mess up everything. Thankfully, his friends are there to help him relax. The problem is not his friends being sociopaths, but his friends being mad at him too. by Aragon 19,095 words · 2,212 views · 301 likes · 9 dislikes
  • Fridge Horror Derpy was just trying to make a sandwich. Vinyl was there too. Now the world is ending. Really, it's all their fault. by Aragon 13,571 words · 5,209 views · 489 likes · 19 dislikes
  • A Train, on Fire, Full of Orphans Lyra Heartstrings is driving a train with no brakes, on fire, full of orphans, and she's approaching a broken bridge at terminal velocity. Well. At least things can't get worse. by Aragon 3,251 words · 3,863 views · 407 likes · 21 dislikes
  • Wine And Toothpaste Beer tastes bad, Whiskey is just horrible, and Colgate does not like drinking. This is the story of how Colgate met Berry Punch for the first time, and how she saw a bartender who was clearly a ninja. Side story to Long Story Short, Things Went Down by Aragon 4,946 words · 2,519 views · 234 likes · 1 dislikes

Stories about Celestia

  • A Million Little Lights Tonight, Celestia will talk to Shining Armor. With just one conversation, she needs to save Equestria. by Aragon 2,176 words · 6,656 views · 894 likes · 27 dislikes
  • Anarchive Reigns The Canterlot Archive decides to create a document listing the age of every pony in Equestria. It's impossible to mess this up. The Canterlot Archive messes this up. by Aragon 4,478 words · 10,901 views · 1,320 likes · 83 dislikes
  • Today is a Good Day to Die One night, just like that, Celestia realizes she's going to die in less than twenty-four hours. by Aragon 9,126 words · 15,030 views · 1,341 likes · 44 dislikes
  • Evil is Easy, Governing is Harder One day, just like that, Celestia decides she's going to go mad with power. by Aragon 18,246 words · 8,627 views · 1,154 likes · 28 dislikes
  • A Hell of a Time The princesses gave their magic to Twilight to prevent Tirek from stealing it. As a result, they end up stuck in Tartarus. The fact that things manage to go downhill here says a lot about the wonders of family. by Aragon 4,444 words · 28,490 views · 3,327 likes · 50 dislikes
Apr
9th
2017

Edited: aaand it's done. I'll highlight some bits tomorrow. You can still watch the video, though, it's down there. Cheerio!



As promised, the podcast is going live. You can find me here:

I'll be talking about the FoME contest, among other things. Also some funny anecdotes, 'cause why not? I won't be appearing for the first, let's say, twenty minutes -- they will do a small section on their reviews, and then I'll come out. They're trying a new format, y'see? It's not just to prevent me hijacking the whole thing.

I mean.

I hope.

EH, I'M SURE IT'LL BE FINE.

I'm the fella with glasses, a pretty face, and a Futurama hoodie -- in case you can't recognize me. Also, the one with the weird accent. That one's a dead giveaway, too.

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  • Viewing 93 - 97 of 97
#97 · 1d, 6h ago · · ·

>>2447046

That quote is wildly out of context.

#95 · 6w, 3d ago · · ·

>>2428648

:twilightsmile: just making sure. Now that I know it is not a typo, my conscience won't bug me about it anymore.

#94 · 6w, 3d ago · · ·

>>2428624

Thanks for pointing it out! English is not my native language, and sometimes some typos slip. It's always welcomed when people give feedback on that.

However, that one's not a typo, actually. The bio is a play on Edgar Allan Poe's The Raven, so it uses the archaic spelling of the word. "Quoth" is indeed what I was going for, not 'quote', yo.

#93 · 6w, 3d ago · · ·

Its really bugging me, so much, that I just need to tell you. Hopefully you fix it, cause if you don't, it will keep bugging me, major typo, hate them, need to see it fixed. Really want it fixed too, cause I edit stuff, and typos are the bane of my existence. Whenever I see one, I go all crazy if I can't fix it, and then weird stuff happens.

Anyway, Pinkie pie rant out of the way, in your bio, I think it is supposed to be 'quote the raven' unless 'quoth' is what you were going for?

  • Viewing 93 - 97 of 97
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