• Member Since 1st Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Mar 4th, 2015

Shining Star


Writing stories, drinking excessive amounts of coffee, traveling in the TARDIS, drawing for tumblr and a whole heap of other crap.

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Long after the wedding and the fiasco with the Changelings, Shining Armour and Cadence are finally settled in at home. But one bundle of 'joy' may just end it all.

Getting the help of his younger sis', Shining try's to keep the foal a secret from his wife. But how long will she remain a secret, and how will ice cream cones get involved?


Edited by: The Princess Rarity

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 286 )

Prologue and epilogue are two different things. Epilogue is.seen at the end of a book, prologue at the begining

Why this is called Epilogue if it's a prologue

I WAS WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO WRITE A STORY ABOUT THIS :pinkiehappy:

Epilogue is after the story the Prologue is before it.

I thought it was some of those stories that begin with the ending, but no :pinkiesick: 2441741 is right, it should be Prologue.

2441778
Why not Normal, they came first. Heh.

I was wondering how long it would take for someone to write a story based on that image only a day after seeing it on My Little Brony

This story is promising so I will keep an eye on it.

Fine, I'll say it if no one else will. This is a rip-off of PonyBlue's "The Foal in the Basket". Warranted, this is a comedic take on the idea with major differences, but still very similar in the premise. That being said, because PonyBlue is one of those insipid writers who apparently don't understand the value of finishing what they start, it's perfectly okay for you to do your own take on the idea as long as you plan on carrying this to completion.

Interesting. I'll keep my eye on this one.

2441829pony blue updated recently
So if u want a story updated regularly write it yourself or stop grieving:twilightsmile:

2441748 no offense but pony blue did write this idea either 1st or was one of the first. However this is a much more comedic take on the concept

2441829
As far as you know the writer just had the same idea, it's happened before. But if it is a ripoff the writer needs to point that out and give credit where credit is due... Then I again he could have just come up with it himself. Personally, I don't really care either way, I'm still reading this

2441748
There already is one, but it's heavy drama. The Foal in the Basket.
This one should be fun, but the author could use some technical assistance.

2441829
Actually I think this was inspired by the cover pic which came out on DA recently. The pic and story actually share the same title. Unless it was a comission. It's not an obscure concept.

That said TFitB has a lot of shit like herd social structure and other "Xenophilia" popularized themes stinking up an otherwise solid tale, so having one free of that crap is nice. As long as the author can pull it off.

...oh I know what happened..hehehe:twilightblush:

2441950
In that case tomatoes are now carrots.

2441748 good I wasn't the only one I found the pic on my little brony this person titled it the same as it was on MLB

2441732 Exactly. It's not that hard to tell the difference unless you never took English. :facehoof:

With all honesty I would have laugh my ass off if there was a troll face as a p.s. :trollestia:

Not bat but although you're focusing on Comedy you need to slow down. You could also do with a quick check for spelling errors.

Nice fic, I had a similar idea for a fic based off of that image... that's embarrassing :twilightsheepish:, like showing up to an event wearing the same outfit. I guess, I'm gonna need a different title now.

My first thought was 'Foal in the Basket'. Which was also the first thought I had when I saw the art this story is using as a cover. :pinkiehappy: Not that it is a bad thing. Lots of stories have the same idea, generated completely independent of each other. I just hope this story updates quicker than TFitB. Will add this to my list of followed/favourited stories on concept alone, as it is a story hook I rather enjoy. :twilightsmile:

Good story so far I say. You should slow down a bit and add a little more to each chapter and double cheek your spelling.
Don't worry, your story is still good. I know how I felt with my first story. :moustache:

2441902 Sorry I actually didn't know... :fluttercry: I just saw the pick on My Little Brony and this idea popped into my head.
2441772>>2441778 and everyone else who has made a comment on the prolouge/epilouge thing, I am truly sorry but I don't have the best of schools and I was never really taught this. I just learn from how other authors write.

But to everyone who said they liked this, Thanks! :pinkiehappy:

This story is going to be good if its starts off like this. :rainbowlaugh:

I mean Shining Armor is so screwed if this gets out.

2442294
This story may have a similar premise to pony blue's story but is is unique in its style.
I encourage you to read it for inspiration and guidance. And to avoid the running joke in blues story
I.e. something with rarity and the parentage of the foal.

This story is both hilarious and sad in a way that makes this tale so funny. :rainbowlaugh:

No matter what he does Shining Armor is in BIG trouble either way and he's brining Twilight along for the ride. :twilightoops:

Please do keep up the good work. :twilightsmile:

MOAR!:flutterrage:
i know you just updated this but i don't care

Shining really makes me mad...kinda reminds me of the dad in Replacing Scootaloo but...jerkier..

I won't lie, this is a great story so far, but the errors you have are a bit glaring. You definitely need an editor and since I'm ecstatic about the idea of this, I wouldn't mind helping you, y'know. Ah, no matter.

I shall simply fave and wait for more! :twilightsmile:

2441741 I know right. Prologues go at the start and Epilogues go at the end.

Very well written, I can't wait for the next chapter ^^

An interesting concept, albeit done before, but I do have some issues.

One of my problems here is the way Shining Armor is being portrayed in such an overly stereotypical depiction of a deadbeat doesn't-want-anything-to-do-with-child and knows-nothing-of-responsibility dad. Now I know there are unfortunately men like that, but Shining Armor simply is not like that, nor are the majority of men, believe it or not. It gets so infuriating that all the men in this story, SA and Spike namely, are shown to be selfish, careless and/or idiots when it comes to raising children who they think they can be sent away like unwanted gifts whilst the women, namely Twilight here, are the maternal, caring figures who give the child its name. I can appreciate Shining Armor is extremely stressed and confused right now and is in an incredibly award position, but his true, canon character is far more selfless, noble-hearted and caring of others and no way near as sharp and bellicose than as he's being portrayed here. Him having a little dash of empathy for the foal and being a little less selfish would be well appreciated.

And also, whilst I do look like a comedy, this is a pretty sensitive and mature situation that happens to people in real life all the time and whilst playing it as a comedy CAN work, it all comes down to execution and I'm a bit worried how that execution is, well, being executed, for lack of a better word.

It's not a bad story, but I do think it needs a little work.

Warranted, this is a comedic take on the idea with major differences, but still very similar in the premise.

Jesus christ if I were you my head would've fucking exploded by now. You've seen all the fics recently, right? All the X is secretly/ becomes a changeling, changeling makes friends and gains acceptance in ponyville/ human in equestria/ terrible alicorn OC/ fo: e fics? In essence all those have very similar if not identical premises in their associated storylines/ genres..

Join me, my friend, and we can complain together about authors not writing something different for a change.

To read later:twilightsheepish:
I'll assume the "Epilogue" refers to the ending result of the Changling Invasion 'Arc' of the show, in turn being the Prologue to the story:rainbowderp:

:pinkiecrazy: That cute little...
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/036/089/hnnng.jpg

:moustache: I knew this story will be epic. please keep up the good work.

While this story is interesting: 1. 2442768 I agree. I dislike how Shining Armors character feels like a stereotypical and unrealistic male deadbeat. Spike too seems rather cardboard cutout bad male stereotype.

2. This story has yet to show why it's an everyone rated comedy. So far it's dealt with Shining who seems to hate and neglect his child merely for its existence. This story kind of looks like it's dealing with some slightly more adult themes from here. I don't mean to patronize. Merely stating that perhaps there are some changes in the story tags that need to be made.

I saw this on deivientart, someone said he would be interested if a fanic was made, guess he got his wish

glad to see someone finally made a use for that picture after all

Man Shiney needs an intercontinental ballistic ass wuppin for that kind of behavior! :flutterrage:

2442294 It's not big deal, I actually faved and thum up-ed :twilightsmile: It was just one of those mistakes that keeps bugging you. :twilightblush:

Lol. Shining Armor had is first magic rage.:derpytongue2:

Hmmm... the characters are a bit funky, the pacing is a bit rushed, and the dialog so far hasn't been that engaging. There are also a few hiccups with grammar and formatting (The second letter wasn't in italics even though the first one was), but the concept is interesting and I like how you're making this a comedy. Try to pick up your game a bit in the later chapters while avoiding the pitfalls of using memes and fourth wall jokes (which you've thankfully haven't used yet... a wonderful sign!) and this could turn out to be quite the fun read :twilightsmile:

Good luck to ya :yay:

What a terrible father.

But how was it possible? Did changelings even have offspring if they weren’t capable of love?

There are many instances in which there was no love required in producing offspring.
It's called rape.

2444688

Yeah. You might wanna nuke or at least rethink that line.

On another note I like this.

I hope you can work Momma Twi Well.

On a side note. It has been officially stated that Celestia raised Spike. Just sayin.

Oh. And you're welcome for the 100th like.

I Look forward to the next chapter. :pinkiehappy:

2442498 I would love to have you as an editor!! :raritystarry: You know if that's alright with you...:twilightsheepish:

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