• Member Since 5th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen April 1st

Jin Shu


I do what I can.

Comments ( 132 )

The soundscaping worked very well here. It's another example of how awesome MLP can be no matter the context. The BF3 track brought the visuals into play for me, and I was able to see a very awesome aerial battle taking place, and that feel that stirs in my gut whenever I play a game and it's mostly silent until shit like that kicks in. Firefly caught some serious pressure out there, and it doesn't look like things are gonna get too much better for Powder though.

Here's hoping Firefly can stick around to finish those bastards off at least.

This story deserves far more attention than it's been given.

I really enjoyed several aspects of the story- most notable how 'human' several of the characters are- they feel like real people you could encounter in your day to day life, and aren't merely set pieces used to advance the story, a trait altogether too common in modern literature. The plot exists to advance a character, not the other way around.

Very Nice, Very Nice. Just one thing. Instead of putting the musical index at the bottom, you could just do it like this.

"Nightfall did nothing to dampen the fantastical nature of the Crystal Capital."

Click Add Link. Paste the link of the music you want, then type in the line where it starts. Hope this helps. Very good story so far. Keep it up!

3686017

The music was originally placed in inline links exactly like you said. I intentionally removed the links in preparation for submission to Equestria Daily. If I can work something out with them, I will put the inline music links back in. Otherwise the musical indexes will have to suffice.

Looks like Firefly is becoming more popular for an Ace Combat heroine ^ ^

Well, this is quite enjoyable so far. Consider this on my list of fun fics!

Is this literature, art, or a intricately choreographed film?
Nope, it's all three!

Lovely writing style you've got there. Rich action combined with detailed wordbuilding and lifelike characterization. Chapter 2 also has quite a bit of foreshadowing... It's definitely something that writers should aspire to achieve. Also, I'm a flight fic fan (blame Ace Combat).

JAG

Well, that was intense. I'm normally not a big fan of high-tech ponies, but... well, frankly, this is cool. You have my attention.

First she almost got herself killed, then tried to volunteer everyone for a suicide mission... But everyone was ok. That's stressful just to think about. This is what causes trust issues.

Is there any estimate on how many chapters there is going to be? I find is good to have a good estimate when reading a really good fic such as this one.

4230610

There are 16 numbered chapters and an epilogue planned. All that's left to do is to actually write them. Thanks for the positive feedback!

4214585

That was the intent. It will be addressed in the next chapter, which covers Timberwolf flight's debriefing and some personal interactions between the members of Typhon and Timberwolf, as well as some very specific stuff pertaining to Firefly. Stay tuned.

4133577

Thanks! It's good to know that I reached people!

this is really good you got your self a watch:pinkiehappy:

Yay! The next chapter is out, although I am almost tempted to read it all over again to get reacquainted.

4403157
Please do! And tell your friends!

Liked and faved because awesome

4439675 lol I tried but none of them are bronies so it's hard for them to get past the fact that it's full of ponies :rainbowlaugh:

4451127
Well... The reason I got here was Ace Combat. And now I like ponies.

JAG

One small mistake I noticed: Zaan and Grana were both called Typhon Four when they were 'killed'. Great chapter, anyway. I particularly liked the training sequence.

4809426

Oops! Fixed! Thanks for the positive feedback!

Digging the music.

“So that I might test myself against her! I studied the art of war in Pyre. I read the after action reports. I wrote treatises on the tactics and theory of the Continental War!” Even amidst the melee, Roshina still found breath to pontificate. “It is through our heroes that we learn to improve ourselves. The Heroes of Valdus are perhaps the greatest ones of our time!”

That paragraph repeats in chapter 5.

5014639

I'm apparently butterhooves with the copy/pasting. Fixed now.

You had me worried for a little bit there.

5549539 Worried that I was dead? I'm flattered.

I just read everything.

:fluttercry: It was wonderful.

This story really deserves more views. I don't read many stories on FimFic anymore, but I always look forwards to the next installment of this one. Your narrative style is very fun and easy to read, and I seek to work elements of it into my own writing.

There aren't many good warfics out there, but this is one of em. Probably my 2nd favorite, with the 1st being Equestria: Total War (which is dead and unfinished, so you've got some room to beat it out).

6082999

Hey man, thanks for the kind words. I'm glad that someone out there likes my work enough to spend time to comment and upvote. The only way it's going to get more views is if you spread the word, so do what you can!

6084220
Now that I think about it, the School For New Writers could use a lecture on fast-paced scenes... and I do like to give examples. :raritywink:

Oh my gosh! An update! I'm so happy!

“Why would the Talons open up an aetherium vein and then leave it?”

Somehow I get the feeling that the situation is less "Talons stupidly abandoned a profitable aetherium mine" and more "Talons accidentally camped over something's front doorstep...
:twilightoops:

This is going to go all pear-shaped soon isn't it?

Nice plan on Thunderlane's behalf, there.

I have this feeling that somepony ended up digging too deep for their own good...

Anyway, this story is beautifully written. I eagerly await more.

Oh boy, I wasn't really expecting the group to find that. Now, anothe question presents itself.... who or what put them there?

...Oh...crap...:twilightoops:

Just wanted to weigh in. Suffice to say, this story is beautifully written. Your portrayal of Firefly's trauma was particularly touching. This is undoubtedly the best story I've read on the sight, and I wish you the greatest success as you continue to write.

Discovered this in the feature list and dare I say I am glad to have discovered this! The story-telling is amazing, the characters are oh-so enjoyable and... just about everything about this is magnificent! I do hope to see this going because I want to read to the end of this book! :twilightsmile:

Someone, here do a dramatic reading of this pronto! :pinkiehappy:

“More than a hundred,” said Eastwind. “Less than a thousand.”

“So it was a massacre..." Thunderlane trailed off.

Aye.

With numbers that small it is a massacre and a tragedy. Any larger and the count would be meaningless and it would become a statistic...

Welcome to the Mines of Moria.

You have my attention, good sir!

Things are looking very bad for Firefly and the rest of her allies... I truly hope all of them make it out alive :fluttershyouch:

Any questions?”

“Just one, commander,” Thunderlane said, injecting as much mock snark into his voice as possible. “How do I get out of this chickenshit outfit?”

“You secure that shit, lieutenant!” Firefly smirked, pausing to allow the chuckles across the net to die down.

Hmm... do I detect an Aliens reference?

6877422
Glad someone caught that :P

I'd just like to express how captivated I am. I don't read many fictions as I become bored of overused tropes and stilted conversations. It's a crutch I often see. However, you, my friend, are an artisan and your writing style has me hooked. Your descriptions of the repeaters and the ironclads and their dogfights were fast-paced, sleek and amazingly vivid. And then you can just flip a switch and intricately dismantle a character's intentions, wants and needs and that something seldom seen.

I am also surprised this hasn't received higher appraisal, and more attention, but then you can't change what people like to read. I like story, being engrossed in a world that I never want to leave. Whereas the top reads seem to follow themes of human projection into equestria, sordid and overdone sexual skits and brazen fan-service. They have their place, indeed, they must. What I'm trying to say in a round about way is I think you rock as a writer.

Your writing is without fault, but you have made a continuity error; only a little one:

Firefly stows her knife twice after the close quarters collision. She stows it before climbing and then again when she demands the SITREP.

Don't worry about changing it right away. I thought I'd just let you know.

She's definitely going to be having words with someone when she gets back to base...

6915810

This is probably because this chapter underwent multiple rewrites before release. I will see about making more comprehensive passes in post.

Thanks for the positive words!

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