In the episode "A Canterlot Wedding", we see everyone treat Twilight Sparkle rather shabbily, and when she's proven to be right, no one apologizes to her - not even Princess Celestia. How might this have affected Twilight?
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Kinsfire
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i will add it to my read later list for now, good luck with your story
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Overall the dialogue was a little bit to stiff and formal, especially from Shining Armour.
I'm not going to fault you for doing a story on this, but everyone and his dog has done their take on how Twilight is after these events, you're going to have to do something pretty different to get this to stand out.
It's average at the moment, not good, not bad, could use some work.
It looks like you need a prereader - there's a bunch of typos all over this story. Unfortunately I don't have the patience at the moment to comb through and point them all out, otherwise I'd be glad to help.
The story itself looks promising, it just needs some polish.
Hmm, I like the premise. Perhaps, though, you should put some time into Twilight's perspective. That would really add to the depth of her emotions.
-RisingOne
2154015
I hate it when that happens! I go through it with multiple reads, and STILL miss things.
I'll see if I can find someone around me in RL who's willing to pre-read it, who understands the world. I'm kinda a lone Brony around here.
2153969
Hey, I'm hoping for not being booed off the site.
I've been around the Harry Potter fandom enough to know that it's VERY hard to come up with an original idea, so I'd be really surprised if this story makes someone gasp and say "Hey, that's a new take on it!"
Not to say that I won't try to come up with something like that, mind you. But I'm really just hoping for not being told that I should just stop writing in the fandom by a majority of readers. (I'll always come across trolls - got a couple in the HP fandom who seem to follow me around to down-mark my stuff.
)
2154339 Yeah, let's just say you ALWAYS want a second pair of eyes reading over your work - you, as the author, are too close to your work to notice typos a lot of the time - you see what it should be and what you think you typed/wrote, meanwhile what's actually down is full of typos. So, get a prereader.
Alternately, read it backwards. It breaks that author-story connection enough that you'll see more of the typos.
I like it. Obviously needs a bit of a pre-reader to go through it, but the effort is there and while the premise existed prior I am interested in how you go about it.
There is a group that does proofreading. I forget what it is called, though.
2154361
People who do that are pretty crappy. If someone puts in the effort to write a story, genuine effort, the worst they will get from me is nothing more than a bit of constructive criticism. It takes a fair amount of guts to write something and have other scrutinize it. When I was writing my thesis it was scary defending it and presenting it to my peers.
So keep your chin up. Looking forward to more.
It's true that this has been done and done well before, but I look forward to seeing your personal 'take' on this Kinsfire (yes, I know you from the HP Fandom).
Twilight was treated very badly by ponies who ought to have trusted her enough to at least question why she was reacting so strongly. Additionally, we never see the reconciliation on screen so this is a potentially big subject for fanfic writers to address. I, personally, hope that Twilight does not forgive too easily but at least asks her Princess and friends why they were so quick to reject and denounce her fears. Yes, she was a bit hysterical but at the very least they should have sat her down and tried to reason with her.
This was probably an error in writing in the actual episode - the reactions of Celestia and the Mane Six are slightly out-of-character, probably in an attempt to artificially stack up the odds against Twilight Sparkle but it always rang a bit false to me. Maybe some writer out there can find a coherent reason - either a spell being cast by Chrysalis or even shadows in their own pasts that made them distrust her.
Thought I recognized the screen name, BenRG. And now you know some small reason my output of my other stuff slowed down even more - I became a Brony, and I'm trying to watch every episode. (And my muse has been more than a little recalcitrant as well, so I was pleased when this one jumped out, basically fully formed.)
It might earn a DLP rating of "Kinsfire"
, but I think that her reaction is fairly logical in this, as you'll see it in the next chapter I post. She freaks out big time, why couldn't her freak out be in a less hyperactive sense?
2154361 welcome to a better fandom. Unless you really screw it up or hit the big time and get a featured story, nobody's going to send you messages telling you to stop writing.
2156283
I have noted a more polite breed of reviewers and commenters so far in this fandom. (And my spell-check seems to hate both fandom and pluralizing commenter...just as a meaningless aside...
)
The comments that I always found funny were after I finished my first HP fic over ten years ago. Someone read all 25 chapters of it and then proceeded to tear it apart on how awful it was, and blah-bla-blah, as if it was my fault that they spent a couple hours reading it.
I've learned over the years that I can't control the readers, nor would I want to. Nothing I write will ever please every reader out there - it's just not possible. So I write so that I enjoy it, and then post it hoping that others might like it as much as I did. (I did write the story, after all, so I must like it at least a little bit...)
The next chapter's going to be posted probably tomorrow at the earliest, since I found that my wife doesn't have a problem reading it for at least the technical side (and I've talked about the show enough that she can give me a decent idea if I really derped something up about canon), so some of my more egregious errors should be gone. (Hopefully all, but somehow, something STILL always sneaks through...)
2156639 true enough. I'm an editor on the site if you're interested.
As to Harry Potter fans ripping apart your stories, that fandom has always been rather....rabid. Being a massive anti fan of the books (mostly because there are about twenty other fantasy series I can name that deserve its fame more) I've come to learn that in some circles I'm Satan. Mwhahahaha!
2156162 I think Celestia's reaction was rather in character. She's very protective of her family, and Twilight had (apparently) crossed a serious line. What seems slightly OOC is her never apologizing to Twilight for her behaviour. If I'd written the episode, I'd have made Celestia walk out in a huff all the same, and then had her apology come across as somewhat insincere and shoved aside by her congratulations. Just enough to highlight her need to appear infallible in front of her subjects.
Dash and Spike walking out on Twilight, on the other hoof, is certainly OOC. I would've imagined after Shining gave Twilight the scolding, AJ would've thrown in her two cents, Fluttershy and Pinkie would've tried to comfort Cadence and Spike and Dash Twilight. Rarity's reaction is hard to say, though I think she'd probably stay with Twilight.
This is good...
So much potential in it... you must include all of the characters that walked out on her and seeing their 'reasons' and methods of redemption (just not a huge party please) and Celestia, her apologizing actually... that's something you never see in the show EVER
2157432
I will admit that I didn't give reactions for some of them - for one thing, I tried with Pinkie, and I just can't quite get her to read right to me, and Fluttershy strikes me as the type to often go with the crowd. She would likely say her apology privately. Also, I couldn't quite get her right either.
As an aside on the episode - in it, as Twilight is checking of preparations being complete, the last one was from Pinkie and Cadence doing that funny as heck dance - what the hay was the listing on Twi's list for that?!?
2157013
The rabid 'shippers in HP are the worst - I know some guys who will not read any story that has Ron and Hermione being in a relationship - EVER. Obsessive much?
I have some fun with it, and have something of a name in that community, especially since some of my early stuff was depressingly emo in the beginning - and I have no idea why. I've got a handful of stories over in that fandom I'm trying to finish, and I'm trying to get more stuff published - actually got a couple short stories published in anthologies! 
2157846
I think that was for the wedding reception. Wasn't that what Pinkie was in charge of?
Well, firstly this does look to be a good story idea. I've only read 1 or two fics total since joining FiMfiction that deal with this issue. Furthermore, of the two, one grew into something I personally see as a triumph of literary gold that has grown into something more with a great sequel!!
Now, that being said, I have to say in the episode, Spike's reaction was the one that threw me for a loop. I figured, vulnerable or not, he'd have stuck with Twilight, or being used to her freak outs, would have sat her down, gotten her to be coherent enough for her to get her reasons out in the open. Then, there's Rainbow Dash, brash as she can be, I figured she'd have stuck with Twi due to her habit of being suspicious of anypony new, if not outright loyalty.
Then, as far as apologies go. I'd say Fluttershy would be the most broken up about it, right up there with Pinkie Pie. Those two would feel horrible for doubting her, and their apologies would likely be the most overtly emotional and rapid of the main six. Dash would be harder, I think, due to her "Cool" attitude, but in this case, a stilted yet still heartfelt apology should be doable for her. Rarity...meh, he's overly dramatic most of the time, so a quiet, but intense apology complete with her appearing defeated would be a good one for her. Then there's AJ...she could go either way. We know she has stubborn pride, and has a heck of a time admitting she was wrong, so I can see her trying to avoid the issue all together like with the Rodeo incident. But I can also see her, having already been through that, steeling herself and going to Twilight, constantly steeling herself to do so during the approach. Again, it's up to you how this falls. Spike would be the one I'm worried about.
Twilight is Spike's closest friend, the one who hatched him, and likely the one constant in his life. To have doubted her, or hurt her as he did, is gunna be on his mind. And he's still young, so his ability to cope with the fact he did that, let alone try and have the courage to apologies when he likely can't forgive himself, would be a huge event.
Anyway, best of luck, and I hope things go well for you in the near future. And also sorry about the rant, I'm a stream-of-consciousness type writer, so this is likely actually how I talk too.
I'm LOVING this.
so her laughter at the end turned into tears? im a little confused at the wording
great story though
Wow, that was heartbreaking, do more!!!
"Twilight Sparkle and the Three Princesses," eh? I'd give 'em a listen. So, would that be Celestia on guitar, Cadence in drums and Luna on bass, with Twilight as the lead singer?
That's how I imagine the band, anyways.
Good chapter, 'twas a nice read.
-RisingOne
Hmmm... It's pretty nice and I like it. However, Twilight has a point (as a per always) the outcome of the events didn't matter in the case of how she took action. She could have done it a bit more rationally or with more grace, it would have made ponies more likely to listen as well. That does not excuse the others about not apologizing properly though. To be honest, both parties don't need to be that sorry or berating of themselves or the others, a situation like this (that occurred) is one in which there are truly no right answers only questions and hopes that things work out in the end from the actions taken. The reason they feel the need to be so harsh on themselves is because of the care they feel for the other(s). Twilight about everypony and everypony about Twilight. All in all both parties have some learning to do, perhaps some more than others but ultimately they need to learn.
(Note: All viewpoints are subjective take them with a pinch of salt or the entire shaker, depending on your preference)
Love it!
Ok, last chapter I said this was merely 'average' and that you would need to do something spectacular and different to make it stand out.
I am extremely happy to say that you delivered. You did something that no other fic I've seen has done with this subject. Usually, they make Twilight just wave it off or be really angry in response. You went for a new response from Twilight, one that I think is more in keeping with the character than any of the others.
You made her blame herself.
When I saw this, saw her reasoning (despite it being completely wrong), read her letter, there was no response I could give other than 'Brilliant'.
I simply hope that you don't resolve this anytime soon. I want a 20+ chapter epic of reconciliation and soul searching. Or, you know, at least a couple more chapters
...
Great... I just realised I have to wait for the next chapter now that I've blown through this one
This is amazing, keep it up!
I am sooooo glad you didn't make Twilight whine about how she was wronged.
Her recognizing those faults is a sign of maturity.
Though Celestia does NEED to talk to her.... and apologize.... STAT!
Just read both chapters and I have to say... I almost feel like crying.
I like how you make it be a week between the end of the invasion and the second wedding ceremony, rather than in the same day like in Darth Link 22's Post Nuptials story (assuming it doesn't get pushed back, with the events within), as that's really the only thing that bugs me about that story. And how Twilight seems to blame herself for thinking that her friends all think of her as nothing but a filly based upon some of her past actions (as have to assume so at the moment, until more is possibly explained) and especially the wedding events, since THEY didn't apologize for THEIR treatment toward HER in that episode.
I swear, if this wasn't a fanfic and the show wasn't more lighthearted, I would think of this as canon leading up for Season 3! 
Moving onto the actual story, at least you have everypony so far realizing their errors, rather than going on with them acting like not knowing of what they did in defender2222's Faith and Doubt story (though I kinda loved that one, even if things went a bit fast with Twilight forgiving everypony after they attempted to apologize the FIRST time). It's kinda sad that Twilight would want to not be Celestia's student anymore, even if again, she believes her actions (not just at the wedding) would make her an unfit student for the ruler of all ponykind. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Vinyl_sad.png I feel this is going to get even MORE heartbreaking, as it progresses toward the end (with the second wedding, I imagine). I'm curious to see how she acknowledges what she did and what her friends will say they did, if Luna's words at the end are referencing that (when she burst in near the end of Part 1 and said that Shining Armor was in real trouble, before she got interrupted with the stuff about the bridesmaids dresses) and how they'll apologize and such. Tracked now!
2157432
Assuming found it at some point as don't know your 'process' for finding new stories. And as said to you on a different story, I believe, likely with the runtime, didn't have time to do that, but I imagine they did... at some off-screen point. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png But of course, things like this are brought up by the fandom/fanfiction, in obviously different ways (defender's and Darth Link's stories/series when compared with this one), since the show wouldn't; more likely to focus on the more overall plot that happened, pre-Season 3 finale. Just in my opinion. 
Somehow, when I saw the short description for this story, I KNEW you would likely comment/rant about it.
2161885
Possibly not aware of all stories like this on this site, but from the sounds of it, one of the two I mentioned? Wanna say defender2222's story series, but could just as well maybe mean Darth's story series.
well that's one relationship down the drain. whelp onto the next one
2163845
Unfortunately, it is not a 20+ chapter story...sorry about that...*laugh*
It may be wrapped up too fast for some bronies, but part of the idea was to have it sort of fit within the episode itself. (Clearly the Luna bit, asking if she missed anything can't follow from this fic. *laugh*) It wraps up fast because she does have a tendency to forgive, and her friends are not insincere when they offer an apology.
Funny thing is about Twilight's reaction in this fic? It was the only way that made sense, canonically, once I decided to have her actually have an issue with what happened, rather than what happened in the episode.
Wait... is she still right or is she wrong now?
I'm confused.
Lots of times people try to hide their sadness with laughter, only for it to backfire and devolve into tears. I hope to see another chapter from you soon!
It's really in-character for Twilight Sparkle to blame herself for other's wounded egos and desperate attempts to shore up their self-images. It's probably good that Luna and Cadence got there when they did because there's no knowing how far away a mare as powerful and resourceful as Twilight might have gotten with an eight-hour lead time.
Now, I suspect that Celestia will come charging over to stop Twilight from running away. I also suspect that she will be in floods of penitent tears, angry at Twilight for blaming herself and angry at herself for failing so badly.
BTW - Am I the only one who thinks that Luna was the previous bearer of the Element of Laugher? Either way, Pinkie is right - a laugh can heal many a wound to the soul.
It's an interesting conversation you record for us. Twilight really needs to be persuaded that she isn't a failure. It's a fact of the character that she's harder on herself than anyone else. Maybe it is in part due to her being Celestia's student - She sees Celestia as this paragon of utter perfection, therefore she must be perfect too to be worthy of her! That is a mindset that could break the strongest pony!
Sigh, I has a sad.
You didn't mention the fact that they all forgot a lesson about listening to your friends worries that they had learned earlier that very season.
For being a fan favourite episode, people seem to forget Lesson Zero really easily. I've never seen it mentioned in one of these type of fics.
Still, pretty good conflict, just wish you'd continued your streak of doing what no one else does and included at least a line about forgetting friendship lessons.
I loved Faith and Doubt, But this story's way of handling it was just as good!
I loved it and can't wait for more!
meh i like it but it just seems that she forgave herself to easily i want drama explosions and guns
I must have missed the TwiLuna shipping, because that seemed to come out of nowhere.
This wrapped up far too quickly for my tastes, but hey, it was good while it lasted.
That's our Twilight - I'm convinced that her element is Friendship, not Magic. Friendship and good relationships with those in her life is tremendously important to her always. I am sure that if Celestia were to ask her to help somepony, she'd do so at once without hesitation, not because Celestia asked but because somepony needs help.
2173836
FWIW, I didn't see any TwilLuna shipping in that moment, only the first touches of a deep and intimate friendship. Twilight is always embarrassingly eager to help and Luna is understandably embarrassed at needing help, especially from such a young and sometimes neurotic personality. It is really too early to be talking of shipping although, I suppose if that floats your boat it could ultimately go that way.
2173924 I hope it doesn't go that way.
Deep friendship=awesome
Twiluna=notsomuch
I love this story so far, and I think it really portrays Twilight's character well- I hope to see more of this!
2168001 Ooh, looks like someone's never read "Post Nuptials".
Unless you did read it and noticed that while it mentioned the events of "Lesson Zero", it didn't quite do it the way you expected. That or it was so utterly overshadowed by all the other mentioned moments where everyone acted like lousy friends.
2176394 I read it ages ago. I'd completely forgotten about that. I didn't even think of it or its sequel when I made the comment.
It really was overshadowed quite badly.
2173924
This was more what I was after. I was aware that it couldn't help but give hints of TwiLuna, but I couldn't find a better way to deal with it.
I would have liked to lengthen the story, but my attempts to do so looked like what every teacher dreads - obvious padding for word count. So I left it where it was. You reach a point where you either go with what you've got, or never release something because it's just not absolutely perfect.
I thought the same thing, after seeing that Twilight was right all along, nopony apologied to her and that made me mad, plus, it's why I didn't like Season 2 Finale, I'm glad somepony wrote a fic about it!
I like how Luna made her laugh, only for Twilight tranform those laughs with sobs...
I like this, I really do!
Just one thing, you wrote this:
I think you meant "Pony" there
And there's also a couple of times that you write "Everyone" but that can pass since Spike is not a Pony
That is all, great work!
2173924 If you think about it, The Elements of Harmony could also be called The Elements of Friendship, since the Elements represents what a good friend needs
As for you, author, enjoyed this story, I would like to do some recomendations but I don't want to sound bad, I'm not perfect either
The only thing that I didn't like was the fact that my favourite pony, Fluttershy, didn't say anything.
2413976 Well, just after Nightmare Moon was defeated, but before Celestia showed up, Applejack DID call them "The Elements of Friendship" so I have to agree
2413747 Personally, my beef wasn't that she was right, but that they were too quick to walk out on her when they THOUGHT she was wrong. After all she's done right, and after all she's done for them, including being so forgiving to them when THEY'RE in the wrong, you'd think they'd cut her some slack the one time she messes up
A true friend does not abandon you when they think you're wrong. They might not like what you're doing, and they might be hard on you while trying to get you to realize you screwed up, but they do not abandon you.
2648798 Yeah...