• Member Since 4th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen October 15th

Adzo



E

Princess Celestia finds twilight passed out from lack of sleep at Shining Armour and Princess Cadence's wedding reception. She tries to find a way to apologise to her student for ignoring her warnings about the changeling queen, and faces self doubt over relying on the elements of harmony, and the mane 6, putting themselves at risk to save her kingdom.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 16 )

I like it... It's simple and sweet.
Sure, there are other stories who play with the matter more seriously but this stays more true to the source material I feel:twilightsmile:

Capitalize the first letter in every name.

2077991 THIS.
Also, be consistent about spacing paragraphs - tab 'em or don't, blank line or don't, but do not switch what you're doing. [I think that's just one spot]

A few minor edits made. Mostly just sorting out the missed capitalisations. No longer is Smarty Pants denied the dignity of the proper noun.

That was so sweet!

A few gramatical errors, but otherwise very good. Well done!

OK. First, I want to say I really enjoyed the idea of this story. I love seeing the issue of the dismissal of Twilight's warning at the wedding being addressed. The characters were mostly solid in character, and it was nicely put together.

Second, you need some major editing help. I was able to enjoy the VERY good premise despite the many glaring grammatical errors, but they really did ruin my immersion. This is a great story but it badly needs the grammar corrected.

So love this really good story cute:heart::pinkiesmile::twilightsmile:

2077991
Agree with that part as well, possibly just have someone like go through and edit it for ya a bit.:raritywink:

The story itself is nice though :twilightsmile:

Well this was cute as a fluffy bunny a the end there. Very enjoyable. :twilightsmile:

I like the concept of Twilight being forgiving, since she is supposed to be the friendship expert after all. Proofreading still needs to be done more though. Saw plenty of instances of missed capitalization.

I like this a lot better than the ones where Twilight lashes out at Celestia and everyone, or has post traumatic stress disorder or something. This is a lot more realistic. In fact, I could have seen this being part of the episode.

5477852 for all we know it could have been though i doubt a little kids show would have such a perceivably intimate scene though i can see twilight giving that speech easily

Contrary to what my story is like, I wouldn't mind Twilight forgiving everyone so easily if it happened like how Iroh forgive Zuko.

If they're going to to a remake, I hope it would be like that.

5836884 At least Iroh understood that Zuko was truly remorseful and that he had a heart to feel the burdens of his actions.

First of all, very good story. I love the reconciliation between them. However, proper nouns should always be capitalized.

Login or register to comment