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Twilight has always felt just a little uneasy about how others treat her, but after a tragedy befalls the Sparkle household, she reveals her greatest truth at the funeral.
Can her friends, family, and teacher comfort her this time?
No.
...but when emotions are high and mistrust and confusion are rampant, is everything what it first appears?
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But Celestia did play a role against Discord,she sent back all the letters to Twilight which allowed to fight the corruption,if not for that Discord would have won.
Twilight getting pissed off enough to call Celestia a monster? Can't really see that ever happening tbh...
2043590 Well she did just admit that she feels that Celestia flagrantly put her in harm's way on multiple occasions, and also, she might not be in the best state of mind right now, ya know, cuz' of the other stuff; like her father dying 'n such.
She has proven to not be the best under stress, emotional or otherwise.
2043545 Sometimes, especially when ure angry, you ignore even totally obvious facts.
I didn't even read the story, but I love all kinds of a Twilight in psycho modus :3.
Dis gon be gud
2043930
That is true...ok i will go with that.
Wages of Sin:Is this going to be one of those Twilight turns evil stories? because it seems it will be one of those stories.
I will probably love the arguments that her mother has for this...because they are most likely going to be idiotic.
hmm...you have my interest
l.wigflip.com/xkp4TT1A/roflbot.jpg
at least....when the next one comes out that is
2043590
oh hai thar
you'd be surprised what someone can do in a traumatic situation. twilight just lost her father, and as a result there's probably a little bit of trauma in her life at the present moment. also she's just started to open up about how her parents seem to have abandoned her, about how celestia appears to just be throwing twilight into harms way without ever seeming to be there to help. as "wages of sin" said, she's likely to not be in the right state of mind.
also, twilight has anxiety issues, which can really screw a person over in stressful situations, kinda like this one seeing as she just lost her father.
You have my interest good brony.
I've always thought this about that episode. Celestia was trolling Twilight hard by making the whole "save the Crystal Empire" quest into some kind of "test." I mean, seriously, she couldn't have just said "Twilight, could you go save these poor ponies from a terrible evil like you've done at least twice in the past." But no! She has to frame the whole thing as a test, to a pony whom she knows will utterly freak out over the slightest hint of any mode of academic assessment. Pretty ridiculous.
Meh, it's a decent enough story, but really OOC for Twilight. It seems to come out of nowhere. To write a story like this, you'd need to start it from Nightmare Moon's return and show Twilight becoming more and more discontent until she snaps. This is just way too cynical to be the Twilight Sparkle we know and love (best pony!
)
You have 23 likes as of me writing this, so you probably don't care so much for this one little comment, but I think you'd need to expand this a whole lot more for it to be plausible.
2046264
She's at her father's funeral. If you've ever been to a close relatives funeral, then you'd know that emotions are at an all time high.
And once you start ranting, sometimes everything comes out.
And these kinds of feelings of neglect can often be 'out of nowhere'. She just hid it until it burst.
2046385
Yes, I have been to a family member's funeral. No, I didn't bring up things that have never even crossed my mind before.
What I'm getting at is there's nothing in the show to build up to this. No hint of these emotions at all, so you'd have to re-write those bits to show emotion actually building.
2046476
People react in different ways,for example,at my grandma's funeral i did not cry and hardly ever spoke,just trying to be as alone as i could,while my aunt was crying and yelling all the time at everyone,or my uncle acting like nothing happened,even telling jokes.
What i want to say is that there are many of reacting to death,Twilight just happened to react by telling all her thoughts and feelings she has kept inside of her.
2046131 I too found that kind of odd, namely that Celestia would even feel the need to test whether or not Twilight would make a selfless sacrifice. Something Twilight has ALREADY BEEN KNOWN TO DO well before that episode. "A Bird in the Hoof" where Twilight willingly tried to divert Celestia's displeasure onto herself to protect Fluttershy, and nearly everything she does in "Sweet and Elite" overall certainly come to mind. Willingly failing a test to save an entire city isn't even the hardest choice to make, in comparison to those or not.
I have arguments against some of the stuff Twilight is saying here, namely regarding Nightmare Moon and Discord, but it's pretty clear that Twi is not exactly in a rational state of mind here, so I'll stay silent and wait to see what you, dear author, have in mind for whatever happens next
I do agree with Twi about her friends abandoning her during the wedding. We all know Twilight was in the wrong there, but after watching her brother disown her, you'd think they'd have SOME compassion for the friend who has done so much for them the one time she REALLY screws up, and at least HINT that they still care about her even if they don't approve of her behaviour
Oh, and Celestia having no compassion for Twilight after he brother AND her "best friends" all basically disown her? I defend Celestia against Molestia and Trollestia comments, and support her overall as a character, but that was definitely messed up
And during "This Day Aria" just before Cadence goes "Oh the wedding we won't make", there's a brief appearance by Twi's parents. Seemingly oblivious to, and unconcerned with the fact that Shining's sister is not present for his wedding
This was dark and disturbing...I am intrigued and wish to see what you have planned, tracking
(We really need a Hoof-salute emoticon)
2048076 Twilight was in the right to accuse Cadence though. If it had just been her acting out of character before her wedding than that would have been a different matter. But all of Canterlot was under threat of invasion, the defense of the city rested in large part on the shoulders of one stallion, and that stallion was due to get married. Suddenly his bride starts acting unusual and an expert in magic second only to the Royal Sisters themselves says she's seen a brainwashing spell being cast on him. While Twilight may have been acting for the wrong reasons (and she was only doing so in part) her accusations were perfectly credible and should have been examined by Celestia at least. And she certainly didn't deserve a knife to the heart from all her friends and her teacher because she was concerned for her country and her family.
2049603 Oh please, don't get me wrong! I agree Twilight's heart was in the right place, as was her motivation. Unfortunately, she acted quite hysterically and really did nothing to establish her credibility. As much as I love Twilight, cornering "Cadence" and repeatedly yelling "EVIL" at her while providing no little to no evidence just made her look possessive of her big brother while acting in a threatening manner toward the already stressed out bride to the others.
Also...Twilight didn't actually accuse "Cadence" of being a threat to Canterlot, just of having bad intentions toward Shining. Twilight is my favorite character, and I hate to cast doubt on her credibility, but she really didn't do a whole lot to make them listen to her. Besides, I did already say that the rest of the Mane 6 + Celestia handled that wrong, so you might not have caught my whole post
2049753 Oh no I read the whole thing. My objection isn't that she went about it the right way, just that she was in the right to have accused Cadence of acting unpleasant and cruel and using sinister magic in a time when Equestria would be under high security, and as such while she deserved Shining's reprimand, her accusations should have held weight. Instead the entire cast chooses to follow along on the words of two ponies they barely know, both of whom are equally emotional, without any sort of follow up.
While Twilight did indeed deserve a calling out for how harshly she went about it, she was far from out of line in her line of thinking.
2049856 In that case, we're on the same page
I do think the way "Cadence" behaved should have set off alarm bells for everyone, it's just I can also see why Twilight's manner might cause them to dismiss her
2049913 I can see why Twilight's manner would cause them to dismiss her behaviour, but not her concerns. That was just plain folly. But yeah, I think we pretty much agree.
Noooo! Don't agree you two! I was getting such an in-depth analysis! (That is actually helping me develop the story further!)
Btw, thanks for bringing up the points you did, it really helps me make the story more "whole" (broader perspectives makes a broader story!)
2050075 Nifty, I'm not usually able to contribute to a story I'm reading
*High hoofs Knight of Cerberus*
you've attracted my attention.....
2043545 Nope.
She was Discordified.
She was trying to disown her by sending all the letters back.
It just so happened to have the exact opposite effect.
always
Really like this so far! I hope you write more.
2058278 Fixed!
Thanks!
1. FUCKING AGREED!
Buks buks buks!
2. We need more stories about purple rage monsters.
A great read thus far!
I'm eager to see just how far Twilight will go on her tirade for answers.
Will she challenge the all-knowing mind of the princess? Only time will tell...
diablo.incgamers.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Genius.jpg
Tell her friends not to go and comfort her...because that won't come back and bite anyone in the ass!
2058277 Where did you find that information, 'coz I like the idea :3
Nice story, I love thus kind of Twi :D WRITE MOORE :>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
2058689 My headcanon, lol
2058277
...Why has no one done a story about that?
I am serious,that is a better idea for an story than most stories in this site,if Twilight found out that was the case,she would be devastated,if i had any writing ability i would totally do a story about that.
On the story:So Celestia is an idiot in this story,she knows that Twilight does not have the best mental health and yet she decides to not allow anypony to comfort AFTER she revealed that she thinks nopony really likes her
,also i guess this really is a Twilight becomes an villain story.
2058916 Well..... This story is going to have alt endings, soooooooo...
Any other suggestions? I'm loving all the input.
~In the Immortal words of La Barata "We need more stories about purple rage monsters."~
2059074
Alternate endings you say...
this was absolutely horrible (I don't mean badly written mind you), twilight literally JUST said how bad an idea it was to "give her space", and let things fester, and yet that's her first response, no tears, no "oh my god what have I done!", just, "why hasn't she apologized yet?", didn't even consider she may have placed the burden of responsibility on the wrong person.
*this does feel a bit OOC though, it's one thing to ignore the rant of someone who's so overstressed they look like they had a caffeine overdose, and another thing to completely disregard a tear-filled heartfelt confession after the funeral of an estranged parent; I also would think the elements would be a LOT more worried.
2048076 'Disown'. You keep using that word, I don't think you know what it means. LOL, sorry I couldn't resist that reference!
But in all seriousness, at what point did Shining Armor or the others outright tell her or imply, "You are no longer my sister/friend/student"? What SA did was reprimand her for verbally assaulting and accusing who he believed to be the mare he was going to marry and tell her not to come to the wedding, the latter of which many people seem to forget was entirely reasonable because why should be invited to a wedding she has clearly made herself opposed to even happening, let alone be made the Best Mare. It was less "you are no longer allowed to come as a punishment" and more "if this is how you feel, then don't bother coming".
...This is giving me a "Faith and Doubt" vibe. It suckered a lot of people in with a Twilight calling everyone out and starting a new life and then turned her into a dark alicorn with an over phylosophical uber alicorn OC that is always right, which lead to the mane 6 become alicorn and dethroning Celestia.
I hope this goes to a more down to Earth route, but the Dark tag worries me.
2060047 No worries mate, I felt the same way about Faith and Doubt. (still liked it though)
Hope this doesnt end up like faith and doubt
2060206 If you would mind reading the comment RIGHT BELOW YOURS, you would notice that this has already been referenced, but if you didn't pick up on that, I will say it now: There will be no grand plot twist introducing "over philosophical uber alicorn OCs" or anything of that nature here.
Sorry if i'm being blunt, but this is not Faith and Doubt
Anyway, thanks for reading!
Thanks for updating mate
keep them coming
It looks like some other commenters have talked about Twilight seeming OOC in this story. I'd have to agree with that, though I think it's a very fixable problem. As someone else said, in the grief over a loved one's death, a lot of things can happen. People can say things they wouldn't normally say, or even realize truths they've kept themselves from realizing for years. I think this could explain Twilight's actions pretty well, but I think it needs more set-up in the story. We start at the end of the funeral, and that's fine, but we only really read about Twilight going through the motions. There's no indication that something's eating her up until the dam bursts, and then she immediately seems OOC to me. A few extra lines in the first 300-500 words showing us that Twilight is in a sort of shock or having trouble resolving her feelings would help the transition into a purple unicorn rage-bomb.
OOC-ness aside, I enjoyed the writing here and I like the idea of Twilight having a poor relationship with her parents (although the vindictiveness toward the others kind of took me aback). The sentences were smooth and flowing, and your writing was never in any danger of taking me out of the story. Good luck with the rest of this!
I guess Twilight screaming about being left alone and ignored was not enough of a clue for Celestia to understand that Twilight did NOT want to be left alone and that leaving her alone was not the best choice on Celestia's part...
Please tell me this won't lead to the deaths of millions of ponies...
More soon?
2189476 Depends, You like?
2189482 very much so. I'm on the edge on my seat waiting to see how this showdown is handled and the aftermath. I've always liked a showdown between Celstia and Twilight due to Celestia screwing up. It kinda makes me thing that age doesn't necessarily bring wisdom. Could just be me of course.
2189482 Oh yes, we like.
More please.
Celestia you just bucked up.
SWHTF
2189482 I'm scared Twilight'll do something she'll regret. but yeah, for now I'll continue to bite...
Just wish I could take the hook out of my mouth... It kinda stings.