Celestia, princess of Equestria. She is the Diarch of the Sun, beloved by all especially her student Twilight Sparkle. However few know about Celestia's past. Even her faithful student knows little to nothing about her parents. Only two others really know about who Celestia was before. Her sister and the recently reformed Discord know, though the secrets are all contained within her private diaries.
Now Discord has decided to visit Celestia, having a small chat that only brings up bitter memories and old pains. For there is a secret that Celestia has kept for as long as she's been in Equestria. Something that she has tried to forget, but only managed to keep putting in the back of her mind. Now with the secret once again at the forefronts of her thoughts Celestia has to make a decision. Does she keep hiding the secret, or does she come clean with Equestria?
Primary Editor: DarkPhoenix Final Chapter Editor: Perigrine Caged
:D
I like this.
I like it, If it aint too much fer ya, I'd like to wait another chapter or two before adding it to the group.
2092114
Nah, I understand. Just add when you're ready.
My only annoyance is the grammar.
'These are mainly used for thoughts in most stories.'
"But you used them instead of quotation marks for speech."
Just a little annoyance of mine, aside form that, an interesting story that I intends to keep track of.
2092682
I'm going to use the same thing that I always use when I get this comment. It's a regional usage of quotation marks. I'm more used to using the single then double quotes when using them for dialogue. It's just a slight difference in punctuation that I keep consistent even if some people don't see it as 'normal'. After all, what's used for thoughts, dialogue, ect. isn't hard-coded into English grammar or writing. It depends greatly on where you are, or where you learned grammar.
Sorry, had to say that, as 'these are single quotation marks' and "these are double quotation marks". They're still quotation marks and it sometimes bugs me when people don't know that they're both quotation marks and like many things in English have a broad outline as to how they're used but the usage can change by regions.
Sorry if I sounded harsh,
cheers
~HPL
2093162 Ah, sorry, hadn't known that. My english teacher tended to smack my knuckles wiht a ruler when I didn't use double-quotes for speech.
Then again, different places, different rules. Sorry to bother you, that was my only quip, I do like the story so far.
2093695
To be perfectly honest, a good portion of English Teachers know little about English, and only their idea of what it should be or the minimal area of what they've been told. I remember a creative writing teacher of mine hated me for using Australia spelling. Because I was in 'America' now and so I had to spell 'American'. Completely disregarding my consistency with spelling and grammar.
In the end what's most important is that you're understood and that you're consistent. A good portion of punctuation rules are in flux (As is most of English in general, but that's just how language works) and aren't universally agreed upon. As such, when I read a story so long as the punctuation and grammar is consistent internally it doesn't bother me too much.
Also thanks for liking my story ^.^
my swarm has devoured this
we are pleased
and demand moar
to feed our growing numbers
Oh, this is very promising. Much looking forward to further chapters!
2093811 I agree, my comment was, in truth, in referenc to what I had been taught bt, let's face it, it's more an issue of familiarity than that of correctness, as both are, technically speaking, correct, as is using the word 'Nunnery' to mean 'whorehouse', since that's how words have evolved in meaning, often with a word being thrown out in favor of simply using its meaning, or a new word made practiclaly wholesale for complex concepts[like 'Video']
But yeah, it's a good story all in all, I just got so used to seeing 'single quotes' being used for inner thoughts and telepathy that I couldn't help but picture Celly and discord speaking psychically...which was kinda wierd.
There are so many ways to do these things. There are double quotes " ", single quotes ' ', guillemets « », and italics.
Good stuff, you get a fave and a thumbs up.
Nice little introduction! I love how you kept Discord in character when he started looking into Celestias past, I can't wait to read more!
Loving the introduction, can't wait to read more
Y U NO UPDATE
It's certainly an interesting premise. I can't really say too much about it, since this first chapter is mostly an introduction to the story's central 'problem.' I'll be able to form a clearer opinion about this when I learn more in the coming chapters, but for now you definitely have my interest.
Loved the content!
The conversations, the worries, it's all awesome.
The only tip I will give is that you might want to consider breaking up your paragraphs more. The diary entry, despite being a diary entry, could be broken into paragraphs (since the wall of text is rather daunting and thick).
Same thing with the conversation, you could easily break it up so that each time someone is speaking, that's the beginning of a paragraph. Shorter paragraphs means that the story will flow better.
Just some advice on formatting, which you can take or ignore. As I said though, the content is superb
Only got two nitpicks, one is the wall of text at the beginning, two is the detail thatnightmare moon was trapped forever and broke out after a thousand years. Minor details but that second one always bugs me...
Loving it though, I'll add it.
I'm liking this. We see a lot more of the details of Celestia's worries. Also, Luna is a good younger sister here.
One odd thing. I noticed you mentioned that Luna had a foal. I wonder who he was. (or maybe I misread that part)
2491879
Yeah, I mentioned it, but I don't think I ever really explained that in greater detail.
oh YEAH no dislikes!
NOW we are talkin'
Trans mare Celestia? Woah~! I thought I'd never see that. Just recently I was thinking about that headcanon.
That was nice. Short, sweet, and intense. Not to mention actually relevant these days.
I do have to echo Krass, however: The wall of text at the start of Chapter Two was unpleasant.
I wonder if Twilight would understand in a hypothetical third chapter? She's a very educated mare, but on the other hoof, her real-world experience is very limited...
man, awwwkward
I've been waiting eagerly for this update. I'd thumb it up again if I could!
Hey! You're not dead! Great chapter. I really loved how you characterized Twilight here. But just a head's up: Diary is not spelled Dairy.
3455402
Nope, clearly I meant that it was an excerpt from her milk-based products =Þ
Thanks for the catch though, Typo fixed.
The suspense, the tension of the moment it is all captured brilliantly, bravo I say!
You really had me on the tips of my hooves there. I really thought that Twilight was not going to say something very good at all and that poor Celly would have heart torn apart as her surrogate daughter drove a knife into it.
As for what you said in the author notes, I hear you on that. I mean, I have my half edited fic sitting around still. Really need to finish it.
Woooo updates
I love this story...
This is an interesting concept, and one I don't think I've ever seen before.
A fitting conclusion to this story. Thank you.
And the final chapter closes, just like Celestia closed the first chapter of her life. I did not expect that you were going to play this chapter this way, but I like that you did. I do now wonder if she will tell Twilight or if Twilight will figure it out on her own.
3499366
If you mean that you hadn't seen a transpony story before, then you are in luck, because there are actually a few out there. I keep a list of them on my userprofile page. Now, if you meant you had never seen a trans Celestia story or one that played it like this, unfortunately, there do not seem to be any others out there that I know of.
Excerpt from Celestia’s Dairy, Vol 200
A small smile crawled across my face as I put my quill down, closing the 200th volume of my Dairy.
I enjoyed the ideas you presented in this story, but I do have to say that your consistent misspelling of "diary" as "dairy" made it a struggle to take the story seriously.
I would like to clarify for the record that Celestia does not, in fact, write her personal thoughts in a milking business, but in a book designed to chronicle events.
3500424
Blah... I hate my spelling ability at times
Sorry about that. I have Dyslexia and more consistently perform better with number than with letters. As such I tend to have a habit of seeing a word misspelled and not getting that it's misspelled. Especially when the word its self is a properly spelled word, but is just the wrong word to use in the situation. Thank you for notifying me of this, I edited it and /hopefully/ one would be able to take it a bit more seriously.
3499848
I've noticed that I'm a very thematic writer, and that I like writing things like this. If you want take a look at each chapter title, then the characters that appear in each of those chapters. It's not very subtle in all honesty. Also, I'm already working on a 'sequel' of sorts, continuing things in this particular vein and train of thought. And whether she will tell Twilight or if Twi will have to figure it out on her own... well, perhaps I'll get around to that, perhaps not
3501591
Yay!
enjoyed this
Nice story, thanks for sharing.
The idea that Discord would not use Celestia's past as a means to get at her and always refers to her as a her is actually quite brilliant. He often transforms the area around him, other ponies and Himself due to his abilities as a personification of Chaos. Who is someone like that to say Celestia can't be who she wants to be?
Okay, I finally got the time to read this. Glad to see that PC was able to help you when I went out of town. I like the ending, it seems fitting with everything else.
2491879
I assume that is a reference to Bluebloods distant ancestor, as he is supposed to be Celestia's nephew.
I only just noticed but there is an inconsistency with the number of volumes of Celestia's
DairyDiary:3519091
I'm going to word-of-god this away as Discord reading some volumes of Celestia that aren't her personal diary as part of her Dairy, combining them all together as a way to make her feel old.
I was listening to this while reading:
Not a good combo. mashable.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/crying-waterfalls.gif
When I started this story I thought it was going a completely different direction.
4736029
Did it go in a good direction or a bad direction?
4736045 Good. I thought it was going to be one of those stories where Celestia is Twilight's mom. That would have been fine too long, but this was very interesting. I've never seen a story like this on the site.
Good story.