//------------------------------// // Midnight Sun // Story: The Sun may Rise, but the Daughter reigns. // by Hipster Pony Raven Horn //------------------------------// This week has been long, hectic, and draining. Over the course of it, I’ve had to confront myself a multitude of times. I felt paralysing fear, confided in my sister, asked my student a question I myself didn’t know the answer to, and for the first time in over a millennium I managed to forgive and accept myself. Who could have thought Discord would have done something that would have set off such a positive series of events? I have to wonder if he knew that this would be the result… After all he was the first one to know after Luna, and he still referred to me as a mare. With all the interactions I had with him, even with the jabs and the jokes he still took it serious. At least as serious as Discord took anything. Today… today was really a momentous day. Today was the first day I have awoken and not felt like I was lying, cheating, deceiving, or misleading my people. Today, I truly felt I was the mare I always wanted to be. No second thoughts, split moments of doubt or worry, or even strange pangs of guilt as when I was trying to hide it from myself during my millennium of solitude. Today I am complete… and it seems so fitting that I am ending my two-hundredth diary volume with this glorious note. From two-hundred one and onward, I am a Mare. I will no longer be defined to myself by something I had no control over. That thought is finally gone, dead forever more. Sleep well Helios, I’m sure in another life, another time, you could have been a great son. But you, you just aren’t me. You are not who I am. My name is Celesita, and I am the Princess of Equestria. I am not Princess because I was born to be so; I am here because the ponies here willed it to be. And I am only here as Celestia because of my desire to take control of my own life. In the end, I realise that every day ponies believe me to raise and lower the sun. And every day they are not disappointed, as the sun rises while their princess reigns over them. Their princess… or princesses now would be more correct. But still… only two now survive who know my secret, at least to my knowledge. Neither have divulged it… and for that I am deeply grateful. But that thought that I was their Princess seemed so bittersweet to me. I felt as their Princess I should keep nothing from them, or their trust in me would be baseless. Or at the very worst based upon lies and deceit. But now… now it simply seems sweet. I now realise, I am who I always was. Celestia, Princess of Equestria, Patron of the Sun and the Day, and sister to Luna, Patron of the Moon and Night. I am known as the Daughter of the Sun, the Celestial Flame Bearer, and one of the most powerful beings on the planet. I realise now, that every day the Sun may rise, but his Daughter reigns. His Daughter keeps watch over the children of Equestria, protects them, and lets them know that they are loved, and cared for. And His Daughter is no more or less because of how she was born, even if it took a pony who’s life seems to be a mere drop in the ocean compared to her own. Thank you Twilight, I will never forget you. Excerpt from Celestia’s Diary, Vol 200 A small smile crawled across my face as I put my quill down, closing the 200th volume of my Diary. Today, was a good day, though the past week was still spinning in my head. Discord, Luna, Twilight. They all seemed to be such unlikely allies in this particular quest. Thoughts spiralled around my mind as I shelved this particular volume next to the most recent in my, now quite honest, spectacularly long Diary. I never thought when I started it so long ago that this would be the end result. As what was just a place to keep my thoughts, a safe place to express myself away from my parents, would have ended up storing so much of my life. The image of myself rippled in the window’s reflection of my room as I turned away from the shelf. I never would have thought, nearly one-thousand one-hundred years ago, that I’d be standing here as a full-bodied mare, nearly indistinguishable from a normal mare. Yes, I am slightly bigger, and I am a bit more blocky, but most ponies don’t notice minor things like that. My smile widened as I looked at myself. It seems so strange that this would give me so much joy, happiness, and peace. It used to be that my reflection caused guilt, uncertainty, sorrow, or even rage. It seemed as if I couldn’t get out of my mind what I’d look like today if I hadn’t gone through and modified myself, if I hadn’t sweat and bled to get to where I am now. My smile shrunk slightly, as I turned and headed towards my favourite pillow. I didn’t want to do now what I knew I must. I levitated the first volume of my Diary over to me. The book smelled of must and was clearly ancient. If it hadn’t been for the magic entwined throughout it it’s likely it would have decayed centuries earlier. The levitation spell had already dislodged a decent amount of dust, and I cleared the rest with a light blow. The book was old, bound in thick leather, something that many ponies in modern times would find appalling. Particularly when we have such effective things as cardboard and magical book covers as a substitute. But it was made with the traditional means at my disposal so many centuries ago. I cracked the first page, the pages had yellowed significantly, but the ink upon the page was as crisp as ever. ‘This Diary Belongs To Helios. NO READING’ popped out from the first page. The memories filled me with so much pain. But I knew, this was the last thing I had to do. I had to remember, so that I could move on. As the page turned, the words leaping off the page and immediately sparking painful memories. ‘Dear Diary, I managed to make you today with my own binding and paper. You are one-hundred percent mine, and no one else's. I made you, so I could tell you things I’m not comfortable telling mom or dad. Even Luna mustn’t know…’ I chuckled slightly, as Luna had already suspected something odd even before I wrote this. ‘I’m… different, I’m not really sure how to say it but… I feel like I was born wrong. I just don’t feel right, and I just know something is up. This isn’t like thinking my parents aren’t mine, it’s like saying me isn’t mine… did I say that right? Perhaps I’m not… me? I know it seems strange Diary but you’ve got to believe me…’ Reading through the first volume was hard. Every page, every word, brought back more painful memories. But I kept going. Many times I wanted to put the book down, just try and forget it all. But I couldn’t. I knew that remembering, and knowing that these things in the past were just that, past, was important. When I finished the volume, tears were running down my face. All the memories… Luna being punished for dressing me up in a dress, my parents denouncing that I could be anything but male. All culminating to the final entry with my whole hearted desire to die, for I couldn’t take living anymore. I shelved the book, though I did not touch my tears. They ran freely down my face, dripping into pools on the floor. Though as painful as it seemed, the tears seemed to be relaxing me. I was finally letting go. I would never be the son that my parents wanted. I may never tell the ponies of Equestria who I was born as. And I may never be able to have children of my own one day. But none of that matters as much as who I am, and that I am comfortable with who I am. I am Celestia, a Princess of Equestria.