• Member Since 28th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

thedarkprep


left on read.

T

This is a story of a pony that arrives in Ponyville, broken and dying, before being rescued by Applejack.

He ran far to get here, and he's not sure if he's being followed, so hiding in Ponyville seems like his best bet.

However, his secrets build up and his insecurity rises.

How long can he keep secrets from the new friends he's made, and what will happen to those friends when his secret gets out.

This Arc is finished but the story continues!
Check out the rest in:

Dysphoria, Arc 2: Ponyville
Dysphoria, Arc 3: Canterlot
Dysphoria, Arc 4: Summer Breeze

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 146 )

I'm honestly dismayed that such a cool fic is just floundering around the base of the pile of fics. Compared to some of the stuff I've read on this suite this is a veritable diamond. On it's own it's still a good read. It seems almost criminal for this to go unnoticed with nothing to its name but 2 solitary likes. It's a crying shame. I saw this on the recently updated list and, despite the fact it only had one like I decided to give it a go and I'm very glad I did so. Looking forward to seeing how this all plays out keep on writing!!

Sorry about the quality of that last comment, fimfiction's comment thing really hates smartphones for some reason. I mean, double exclamation marks? I feel positively unclean!

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It's ok, I have the same trouble with smartphones.

Also, thank you so much for your comment. Yours is the first bit of positive feedback I've gotten and it certainly made my day :twilightsmile:

I hope you continue to like the story as it progresses.

Once again, thank you for your comment, the like, and favoriting the story.
Happy Reading,

-thedarkprep

Well then, let me be the first to say: Good luck! Although personally I believe you have nothing to worry about, you're a really good writer and those who would stop reading a story because they disagree with a direction it has taken are just acting like petulant children! Looking forward to the next installment in this awesome story!

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Thank you :pinkiehappy:

I hope it lives up to your expectations :twilightsmile:

Oh man, it's all going down now! I wonder why Rose was so afraid of seeing her brother and where Twilight recognised Script under the name Slant! Looking forward to tomorrow!

I'm impressed. Very well written and appealing story. I've had a handful of friends who've gone through the same issues Rose/Script faces and this really helps cover their feelings. I'm happy to say none of them suffered as much from their family.

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Thank you for your comment :twilightsmile:

I'm glad that you're impressed and that you feel I captured the feelings involved. That bit where Slant was criticizing his work for not covering the emotions well enough ("it tells the facts but not the emotions, and the emotions are the most important thing") was me as I was editing the chapter. I'm glad I succeeded.

I'm also glad that your friends didn't suffer from their families. Losing the support of loved ones is always a scary and hard thing, and the less people that have to know that pain the better. I hope your friends are well and I hope you are well.

In fact, I hope all is well

Just got round to reading the previous chapter in addition to this one, if I said I saw this coming then I'd be one of the largest liars in history. Still, regardless of how unexpected a development this was I look forward to the epic continuation. As ever, awesome chapter, keep 'em coming!

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Yay:yay:

I was worried that someone would figure it out with the hints I put in there (the location of the mirror, Rose appearing when Script is about to begin taking chances, the location of the bag, and the fact that I never described Rose's colors despite being very descriptive with everyone else), but I'm glad the mystery held.

I'm glad you're still liking the story. I'll think you'll like the surprise next week :twilightsmile:

Ah... This is starting to get interesting! Good job on keeping Rarity in character, I was reading it in her voice. :raritystarry:

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Thank you :twilightsmile:

I found that I liked writing her and Pinkie the most.
:raritystarry::pinkiehappy:

Very nice. I especially like the transition of names and pronouns that Rose/Slant uses. It's a very slight but very powerful indication of her moods and feelings. I'm really impressed.

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Thank you :twilightsmile:

It was at times hard to write but there's power in pronouns (especially considering the content matter) so I knew it was worth the effort.

I'm glad you liked it.

That was a very sweet ending, :pinkiesmile: seeing how this is in an "arc" I am guessing we will see more in the future other than the epilogue?

Very impressed by this story. It handled some complex themes reasonably well without sacrificing an interesting story for it. I'm really suprised not to have seen this before now. The only real criticism I have is that the title sort of gave the suprise away. Still, it's a very well written story and I look forward to the continuation.

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Well, I'm glad that you did find it and that you liked it :twilightsmile:

Also, yea.. it didn't occur to me that the title would give away that there would be future arcs until two days ago. Still, if that's the only complaint I will definitely take it as a compliment :pinkiehappy:

I hope you enjoy Dysphoria, Arc 2: Ponyville

I had originally written a really erudite and sophisticated comment about how this story both blew me away with awesome story telling and opened my mind to the struggles of transgendered people. My phone then promptly threw up on me and lost the original comment and I can't be bothered to write it out again so I'll summarise: awesome story, great writing techniques, eye opening perspectives and realistic characterisation. Thank you so much for writing this, I eagerly await the chapters to come in future arcs

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Thank you for reading my story and for your comments.
I can honestly say that each of your comments on my story has made my day :twilightsmile:

I hope you continue to enjoy the story as it progresses in Dysphoria, Arc 2: Ponyville and beyond.

Yeah, I couldn't help but read this in Rarity's voice. You nailed her dialogue, Ricardo. :twilightsmile:

Damn. That was an intense anecdote. Poor pony. :fluttercry:

You might not be a Stephen King or a George Orwell, but you're still a damn good writer. That much is made evident by how seamlessly you weaved subtle cues and symbols into the text throughout the story. I especially like how, at the very end of this chapter, without any attention being drawn to it, the pronoun shifted from "he" to "she" and the name from "Slant" to "Rose." You're a much better writer than you give yourself credit for, and you're remarkably good at keeping the Mane Six in character. Kudos. :ajsmug:

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I know I just talked to you on Facebook, but I'll go ahead and respond here as well.

I'm glad you enjoyed Arc 1 as much as you did and that you're enjoying Arc 2 as it progresses. Rarity was a lot of fun to write, and I'm glad you're picking out the subtleties in the text :twilightsmile:

It means a lot :pinkiehappy:

Something tells me rich is fond of the drink. Poor slant.

Fimfiction also hate Ipods:derpytongue2:

Bad writter, my flanks. that was such a beautiful story...
And youre mean, you made cry at the end... No, it was liquid feelings
Favorited and follow:pinkiehappy:

Y u no have moar views?

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Thank you for the comment! :pinkiehappy:

I'm glad you enjoyed Arc 1 enough that it had an emotional reaction, liquid or otherwise.:twilightsmile:

I hope you continue to enjoy it in Arc 2 and beyond.

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I don't know why I don't have more views...

I think it might be because people in general don't like OC stories, or because I don't have a good cover picture (couldn't find someone to draw one so I had to do it myself, and I'm not much of an artist).

Who knows, maybe 5pm EST on Mondays and Fridays is the absolute worst time to post stories.

In any case, I'm happy to have gotten as many views as I have and for the wonderful comments of those who have read my story, so I can't really complain :twilightsmile:

There's no guarantee the rest of the story will be good- of course there isn't- but it can be said with certainty that this was a damn fine start.

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Aww, thank you :twilightsmile:

I'll be interested to hear what you think of the rest

My only complaint about the story is that the dialogue feels unnatural. I don't really know how to say it, but it does, and it takes away from the overall feel. Of course, this IS arc 1, so it's probably gotten better, but I just felt I should mention it. Otherwise, this is a really good fic that deals with a topic that is difficult to handle. I am impressed.

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I did also notice that my dialogue was off. I feel like I got the voices fine but the context was not. I did try to improve it over the next two Arcs (I'm making that my focus for Arc 3), so I'll be interested in seeing what you think of the progress, assuming you continue to enjoy the story enough to read it. :unsuresweetie:

In any case, it doesn't sound like the dialogue was enough to kill the story for you, and I'm glad for that you found no other problems with it :twilightsmile:

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I saw it all coming really early. Now, to be fair, I was kind of clued in with knowing that this was a trans story. I knew right away why she was injured, what she was hiding, and who Rose was. Still worth reading because how it happened was worthwhile.

As for the juggling of different identities. Oh, do I know that one. There are three different names (and two variations on one) that I go by in my town with only people who know me by one name and one variation of the other being in the loop as to who I am with people who know the third name and the second variation of the second one being completely out of the loop. Its a mess and requires care in making sure that people who know me in different contexts don't mingle with each other. Thankfully, I am at the stage where I am now updating everyone to my new name and who I am. Rose's mixing of truth with lies is definitely something I can relate to having had to do it extensively myself for gender reasons, though I usually do a better job than Rose by using only the truth with careful wording to not spill the beans or lie.

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For me it was a similar situation. People at college knew me as one name and people at home knew me as another. At first I could keep those two circles apart, but then specific people started crossing barriers (friends from home going to my college, college friends having other friends from my hometown). It is nerve wracking to wake up and find that your circles have consolidated. Still, very few people know about me in my hometown, those in college have mostly forgotten about me, and soon I'll be moving so a new faraway circle will emerge.

Strange how easy it is to juggle multiple lives like that all things consider though, huh?

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It can be pretty easy depending on parameters. In a big city or big campus, it is pretty easy. In a small one, not so much. Unfortunately for me, despite being in a big area, circumstances are forcing me to come out to a lot of people in an old circle. I would do it anyways, but I don't like being forced.

I just "D'AAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW!!"'d so hard..

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Yay :twilightsmile:

I'm glad you had a reaction (and that said reaction was a good one)!

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WAIT WHAT HOW'D YOU ANSWER SO FAST DID I SAY SOMETH ING WRONG I'M A RETARD WHAT WHO WHAT H-


:facehoof: Stahp responding so fast, you make me nervous.

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But... I like responding. It makes me smile when I read people commenting and then I want to answer because I'm feeling happy and I like talking to people.

Just know that I appreciate you taking the time to read my story ok?

*hug* :heart:

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Shush, you made me lose my spot on Arc 2 :duck:

This story has been reviewed by: The Equestrian Critics Society

Story Title: Dysphoria, Arc 1: Introduction

Author: thedarkprep

Reviewed by: Shahrazad

Dysphoria (noun): An emotional state characterized by anxiety, depression, or unease. The title perfectly describes the main character. Readers should be forewarned, Dysphoria, Arc 1: Introductions, is “heavy.” It shouldn’t be read while watching television in the background. It still manages to be entertaining and hopeful despite some pretty sad stuff. It deals with a weighty subject, but treats that subject with dignity. If you are in the mood to laugh, this would be a poor choice. If you are in the mood to think, to ponder, and to feel, open Dysphoria, Arc 1: Introductions, and start reading.

Full Review

Score: 8.0/10

I just realized I followed this entire series and never upvoted the first story arc.

he was badly damaged.

Minor nitbick but it sounds like you're describing a thing, not a person.

Other than that, no complains and with all the praise the group has lavished, I'm looking forward to reading more.

Woop woop, done reading the first arc.
Hopefully Froey will stop looking at me with murderous eyes.

I'll start with what I didn't like and then say what I did like in an effort to end on a happy note :moustache:

It felt like there was too much "tell" instead of "show" and I wish there could have been more scenes were we (the readers) could have been immersed in the world instead of just being told what happened.

I also wish there would have been more detailed interaction between Rose and the mane6, we were told that she was "fun" but we never got to see any of the fun if you know what I mean?

Anyways, even tough the "twist" was spoiled big time by CERTAIN PEOPLE, I can see why pretty much everyone in the LGBT group who has read it recommends it so warmly.

It's a sad story but it shows that even tough the people (ponies) that you tought you could depend on turns out to be dicks, there's no reason to assume that everyone else will act the same, even if ones past experience does merit caution.

Gonna start reading Arc 2 either tonight or tomorrow morning, a arc that thankfully hasn't been spoiled for me yet :pinkiehappy:

I like this story.

However, in part 8, I felt the way Rose explained things was bookish, overly clinical (in direct confrontation with the way she wanted to tell her parents about it, which was to truly convey the fear and anxiety and other related feelings), and overall out-of-character. I think this is very much related to another poster's feeling that too much was told instead of shown.

It's a good story, it's just that this one part bugs me. Sorry. :twilightsheepish:

Well just finished reading all 5 arcs, and all I can say is WOW

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