Rejected Proposal
I thought I had something special with the Princess. A connection. An understanding.
I never thought I'd need it. I wasn't planning on using it. I was barely aware of it.
My work had nothing to do with it.
But if there was ever anything special there... then why...?
Maybe it's somehow because we had something special?
If this is what happened... was it really worth being special?
~-~-~-~
It is perhaps a testament to the somewhat... fluid nature of the natural laws of Equestria that something as simple as 'night' can have so many different sides, depending on where one is, how one is feeling, and - of course - the whims of its caretaker Princess.
If one was to be stranded in the wild lands, terrified of monsters roaming far from the protection of the cities, night-time could be a terrifying place where one could barely see one's own hooves in front of one's face, and every noise somehow becomes amplified and twisted to something larger, more dangerous. Alternatively, in the quaint villages dotting the landscape, the very same darkness is a comforting blanket, wrapping around the houses built alternately with ordinary and outlandish styling, bringing to an end the hustle of the day and giving time for rest, relaxation, and family.
In the gardens of Canterlot, however, so high in the mountains and close to both the near-full moon overhead and its incarnation in royal pony form, this night was barely dark at all. Though it could never be compared to the brightness of day, the cold blue-white glow illuminated every leaf with a crisp edge, true darkness only evident under overlapping shadows. The colours were muted, but the beauty of the gardens was merely altered from under these conditions, not lessened - they had been designed by extremely talented ponies over centuries with this exact effect in mind, though they might not have understood exactly why until only nine years ago, with Luna's return.
As the moon rose to its peak overhead on this particular night, however, there were no ponies appreciating the way the daytime's riot of colour had blended seamlessly into ethereal wonders. No romantic walks were being held right now between the flowers, no artists looking for inspiration in the night; the gardens were empty except for the occasional nocturnal animal, some few insects, and the cold, still night mountain air.
Well, truthfully, there was one pony.
But she was there in body only, in fairness. Her mind lay elsewhere - on her desk in her room with diagrams and calculations scattered across every surface, from floor to the very ceiling; in a great construction composed of clouds carved into walls, pillars, walkways and machinery, lit by flashing lightning and glowing rainbow pools; and most of all, in an enormous hall, standing between tapestries and statues before the Princess of the Sun, as with wings raised and stern countenance, she said...
"No."
She didn't really register where she was, truly, only that it was a place of relative solitude, and nothing like that hall. Nor did she realise how long she had been there, for it had been daylight yet when she had first fled here. If pressed, it would have taken her time to remember how she had gotten here in the first place, if she could be convinced to care.
The shivers and complaints of her body at remaining in one place, so exposed to the night's chill, and the fact that she had already been short on sleep before a long and trying day, and had missed dinner to boot - all of these were ignored in favour of emotional misery, sobbing with a throat ragged from mild dehydration and hours of crying, and wiping tears away from red, stinging eyes for the thousandth time as she tried to focus blearily on the papers in front of her - papers that had been so carefully organised this morning, every sheet freshly transcribed on parchment, not a drop of ink out of place, not a crease or blemish - now every one scrunched, some even torn, and all tossed around her in an arc, stained with tears, grass and dew.
--Updated process for generating lightning simultaneously while forming clouds--
--Creation of enchanted tools for greater automation--
--Improved formula for power output and ease of weather distribution--
--Concentration of the liquid rainbow--
--Overall increase in efficiency of 500%--
--Further opportunity for improvement--
--Timetable for creation, installation, testing, and training--
Titles and snips of sentences jumped out at her as she stared at page after page in the few seconds she had while her eyes could focus before they blurred out again. She didn't take in a single one of them - after all, even before she started, she had had nearly the whole thing memorised, and while she had been here she had gone over it enough times that she could likely reproduce the entire thing from memory, down to the most complicated diagrams. Now she was down to staring blankly at one sheet after another on automatic, barely even hoping that she would find what she was looking for.
Exhausted physically and mentally, beyond coherent thought, even if what she sought had been circled in red ink she would likely not have even seen it. The idea of stopping was simply inconceivable - it had never occurred to her mind at all.
However, dedication, single-mindedness, and even magic have their limits when faced with the frailty of the flesh, which was quite open to the idea. The concept of stopping still hadn't reached her mind when her eyes closed again to blink away the stinging tears, and only got halfway back open before closing again as if weighed down by barbells. Seconds later, the same weight pulled down her head as well, and did not rise back up.
It wasn't until a good twenty seconds after Twilight Sparkle lost consciousness that the papers stopped flicking across in front of her muzzle one by one for her perusal, and floated down, released by her magic and moved now only by her snores.
She was too exhausted to even dream, which was the best thing to happen to her since she had woken that day.
~-~-~-~
When Twilight awoke, her mind was not yet focused enough to remember the disaster that yesterday had been, and thus her body leapt on the opportunity to provide an extensive checklist of complaints that had gone ignored up to this point.
In no particular order: her limbs were cramped, her back twisted, her fur damp and matted, her whole body freezing cold and shivering, she was starving and incredibly thirsty, every orifice on her face felt like somebody had taken sandpaper to it and then stuffed it with cotton wool, her horn had the burning ache of overuse, she had a splitting headache, and several unpleasant itches throughout her body. Overall, it promised thorough unpleasantness until she moved.
With a sigh, she stretched out her limbs, whimpering as her body protested further - shut up, this was your idea - and tried to ungum her eyes enough to open them and determine where she was. Her hooves brushed against grass and paper as she stood up shakily, trying to shake off the fuzziness in her head. Her eyes finally pried open and saw nothing but a bluish blur. Scowling, she blinked again and again, rubbing a hoof across her eyes and wincing at the raw feeling, before she finally managed to get some clarity in her vision.
It was night still, and she was out in the gardens. Her mind nudged back into her body's demands, insisting that it was probably important to know why she was here before she went any further, and while her body put up a solid fight on the matter, her mind was well practised at overriding it.
She looked down at the scattered papers, and it took only seconds for everything to come rushing back with a crash of adrenaline. Within moments, the panic was building up again, her body tensing to as if to run away from a threat that had no true physical component - her own failure, and the disappointment of her mentor. The proof that whatever special thing she thought she had, if she truly had it in the first place, was now gone.
Pumped with energy and without any real outlet for it, she once fell back on instinct, frantically gathering together the papers and smoothing them out as she muttered inaudibly to herself, tears once again threatening her vision. Once she had all that she could see, she started away from the indent her sleeping form had made in the grass, automatically searching for more papers, anything to keep her mind and body busy and away from the--
"...Twilight Sparkle? Oof--"
She registered the voice a few moments after she ran into its owner, her papers hitting them first before she followed a moment later. In her current state, the unexpected impact unbalanced her completely, leaving her sprawled on the ground with no idea what had just happened. Trying to clear her mind enough to focus again, she looked up, seeing...
...Seeing a dark blue pony's face staring down at her in concern, surrounded by a wavering in the night sky, as if viewing the stars through a hazy distortion. It took her a long moment to realise that she wasn't seeing the sky at all, at least not directly, but an etheral mane that mimicked it, rendered nearly invisible against the sky from her angle.
"Princess Luna!" she cried, or at least tried to - for what came out was closer to a thick "Prnc-" followed by a string of coughing. Luna's eyes widened in alarm, and her horn lit up slightly as she looked over Twilight's form, examining her with her magic.
"...Oh dear... what has happened to you?" She nudged Twilight slightly to right her, then with a sweep of her horn, the dark blue of her magic swept across the garden suddenly, sweeping the grass before contracting and pulling back in before her, having collected and brought together the early morning dew, which she then deposited into a glass she conjured from thin air. Handing it to Twilight gently, she smiled as the unicorn grasped at the glass frantically, and held it steady for her. "Gently, gently... little sips."
Twilight had never known water to taste so good in her life, and the struggle not simply try and gulp it down was considerable. When she had finally finished with the glass, she tried to stand again, and to her own surprise found herself floating entirely - looking up, she realised that Luna had carried her across the garden some way, towards one of the large fountains nearby. The princess smiled and put her gently back on her feet, and she gratefully moved over to the pool and stuck her face straight in, gasping and pulling out almost instantly at the sudden shock, before using the water to clear her face and senses, not to mention drinking a little more for good measure.
Soon she was feeling, if still somewhat unpleasant and uncomfortable, at least alive again. Luna had waited patiently, settling beside her in the grass and not saying a word, watching with an expression hovering between concern and bemusement.
Twilight gave her a somewhat guilty look, and chuckled slightly. "...I guess I..." She coughed once, but only a little. "...I kind of look like a wreck, don't I..."
"Methinks your friend Rarity would faint at the sight." Luna answered dryly, barely a hint of her ancient accent remaining, after so many years back amongst modern ponies.
"Yeah... I'm sorry, Princess. Thank you."
"You are most welcome, Twilight Sparkle. I do remember it was not so long ago our positions were reversed in such a situation - although admittedly, I was not quite so... shall we say, ragged? And you had somewhat more idea of what ailed myself at the time, than I do here and now."
The pointed statement hung in the air, a distinct invitation to share. Twilight winced, looking away from Luna, and the silence stretched on.
Seeing the mare seemingly about to cry again and not ready to talk, Luna sighed gently. "Is it something to do with this?" Luna levitated over the stack of crumpled paper. Twilight glanced over, then nodded slightly, sniffing. "May I?" A long pause, then another nod.
Luna gestured Twilight over, leading her to take a position up against her side while she read, raising a wing for her. The younger mare resisted the thought for a long moment - it was a very personal way to snuggle up against a Princess, and though she had done so many times with Celestia before, it had mostly been when she was much younger - she was a well and truly grown mare now! But in her current frame of mind, a hug sounded fantastic, and she was still freezing. She soon settled in beside Luna, the wing falling over her like a blanket.
For some time she lay there, snuggled in against the larger mare and feeling like a filly all over again, running to her mother after some tantrum or another. It almost seemed silly in hindsight now - only not quite, as she still flinched from the memory of that moment in the throne room, trying not to focus on it as she felt the warmth of Luna's body seeping into her ice-cold fur as the princess tried to put the mess of pages back in order and read through.
"This is very impressive, Twilight Sparkle!" Twilight jumped at the sudden voice, having half-drifted off. "The work you have done here... you have a very solid understanding of pegasus magic and processes for a unicorn. How long have you been working on this?"
"A couple of years now, on and off..." She muttered slightly. "It's just been a side project of mine..."
"I didn't know you were interested in weather production."
"Well, I keep hearing complaints that the factories are understaffed these days... there seem to be more and more complaints about weather off schedule or not properly under control. I got curious since I had been to Cloudsdale once, and seen it there, and thought maybe I could have a look at how it worked... I had a trip to the gryphon lands, and they had way more advanced weather technology to make up for what they lack in magic, and I saw a few places for improvements..." Wheras once Twilight's voice would have been full of excitement and enthusiasm as she described her studies, now it was little more than a bitter muttering.
"And you-- oh. I think I see what happened." Luna's face fell and sighed deeply. "Let me guess. You didn't tell my sister about this... until today."
"Well, it wasn't really part of my study on friendship for her, just something I was working on, so I didn't want to bother her with it until I was sure it would work!" Twilight quickly became more animated, soon surging to her feet as she ranted. "I was sure I thought of everything! The magical formulas are sound, the new safety procedures cover all the new equipment, the processes are sure to involve ponies at every step so the magic of care isn't lost. I tested everything with my friends, and I talked to some of the pegasi at the weather factory too, even they couldn't see anything wrong with it! They were really interested, said it might save us from having to start importing weather from outside Equestria soon! And, and then I took it to Celestia for approval and funding, and she just... she just said... no."
She seemed to just deflate, curling up on the grass again and sniffing. "Just... no. With this look like... like stone, I haven't seen her look at me like that unless, unless I've really screwed up. I thought that... I was something special to her, but she just looked so... I tried to ask her why, and she just said..." she sobbed slightly, "she said I needed to go right back to my foundations. I don't know what I did wrong! It all made so much sense, and it was going to help everyone, and now it's just... wasted time and the Princess is mad at me and I have no idea what I'm doing anymore."
"Oh no..." Luna sighed, her wing holding Twilight's shaking form close to her. "Poor Celestia..."
"Wha... Poor Celestia?" Twilight suddenly surged up, self-pity switching to anger in a flash, pulling away from Luna and glaring. "I've been sitting here like this all night because she couldn't even give me a reason why my project isn't even worth considering and the first thing you say is poor Celestia?"
"Shhhh, calm, calm. I apologise, that was thoughtless." Luna shook her head slightly, raising her wing again. Twilight didn't move or speak, her stance aggressive and her eyes demanding an explanation. Luna smiled slightly.
"If it makes you feel any better... I expect that my dear sister has likely had as little rest as you have this night. You have... prodded an old wound on her, Twilight Sparkle, though you had no way of knowing this. And you caught her by surprise, also, I would judge. She does not hate you, nor is she disappointed in you. It is not your fault."
"...Then... you know why she said no?" Twilight's anger had melted away like snow under those words, replaced by concern and curiosity - she had never really been capable of feeling much negative about her teacher and Princess, after all.
"I do, yes."
"Why? Is it the safety concerns? Did I get something wrong in the construction? The formulas? The--"
"None of that. I haven't gone over every last bit of it, Twilight, but I have absolute confidence that your ideas and calculations are correct. I'm sure if we put your ideas into action, then fifty years from now, our factories would be producing vastly increased quality weather, and meeting every demand that came to Equestria without breaking a sweat - possibly even exporting out to the neighbouring regions..."
"Exactly! That's exactly what I was trying to--"
"...if it wasn't likely to destroy Equestria in ten years."
Twilight's jaw hung open in mid-speech, staring at the Princess's perfectly serious face. Her mouth worked a couple of times before she managed to close it, get her thoughts in order, and reply.
"What?"
"Admittedly, that may be a slight overstatement, and things may have changed somewhat in the last thousand years, but I can guarantee you that that is what is on my sister's mind. I think she would have let you down more gently if she knew it was coming - at least, I hope she would have."
"What do you mean? I... oh Celestia, I didn't think of how it might be used that way! With increased production of lightning clouds... and the rainbow concentrate could be... weapons? I haven't studied that at all! Oh no, how did I--"
"Calm, Twilight Sparkle. No, weaponised weather is not what worried my sister." She paused. "Well, it might feature in her concerns, but it's not the central one. No, think about what she said - go back to your foundations."
"Foundations? But that would be what... my formulas? The factories themselves? The need for weather in the first place? I--"
"Oh, sister, I have no idea how you do this..." Luna muttered fondly. "No, not the project foundations. Your foundations. What is your primary study?"
"...Magic itself. And Friendship, I guess? I don't--"
"Both are relevant here. You do not... actually have any friends who work professional weather, do you?"
"I've spoken to plenty of people in the factories! I've got a few friends in there..."
"Spoken to, perhaps. But I doubt you have seen them more than a hoofful of times, and rarely to do anything but talk business, and I right?"
"Well, there's Rainbow Dash--"
"Who was using it as a stepping stone to the Wonderbolts. She doesn't count."
"...I guess not, but I don't see what that has to do with this..."
"Alright, a different approach then. You said you got some of your ideas from the Gryphons?"
"Yes! They were having real trouble with their weather. They just don't have the same knack for it that pegasi do, they never have... but recently they've been working on new technology, it's really fascinating, and it's improved their weather production efficiency to the point it's actually caught up with our own - and they're improving all the while! While we're still using most of the same processes we did centuries ago..."
"Which means that not as many gryphons are required to work on the weather, correct?"
"Yes! Their population isn't as high as ours, and they don't have earth ponies and unicorns to do the other jobs, so it's come in really handy for them."
"New question. What do ponies have that gryphons do not?"
"What?"
"What do we have that the gryphons lack?" Luna repeated, patiently.
"Ummm... hooves? Horns? Princesses? I don't know! A lot of magical power! The ability to eat grass!" Twilight guessed wildly, confused.
"Every adult pony."
"...Adult... what, you mean cutie marks?" She twisted to look at her own. "Well yeah, gryphons don't have them, but..."
"If a gryphon is no longer needed to work at the weather factory, because there is a new machine that does her job for her, then she no longer has a job. She will probably be unhappy for a while, and there will be complaints made and efforts taken, but there will be new training she can do, and new jobs she can take on."
"But..."
"But every pony has a special talent, and a cutie mark. If the weather factory efficiency was improved as much as you say, then at first, everything would be wonderful. They would catch up on their backlogged work, then everything would be smooth for a few months, maybe even a few years. Then they would start realising that they didn't really need that many ponies working there, and could save some bits by not having as many workers on staff. I'm guessing we probably would only need a third the number of ponies currently working there. And suddenly, we have thousands of ex-weather ponies across Equestria who have not just trained their entire lives on their job..."
"It's their special talent." Twilight stared off into the distance, understanding. "They have to do it. They can't just start a new job, because it's what they DO."
"Perhaps some of them have talents which can be used in other professions. Some of them might not really have special talents for weather at all. But all of them are going to be out of a job. There'll probably be all sorts of new jobs opening up from this - but a lot of them are going to be for unicorns, to enchant the machinery - and even if they're not, if their special talents don't fit... well, how would you feel if your special talent became worthless? Your talent is a bit of a unique case, of course, but try to imagine it from another's point of view."
Twilight thought about it, imagining a place where instead of building a machine to assist with weather creation, she had made one to help create clothing - so easy that anyone could create masterpieces. At first, her friend Rarity would love it, creating dresses more wonderful than ever before - but if everyone bought one, then they would all create their own dresses at a whim, and her special talent for making beautiful, unique dresses would be...
Worthless.
The thing that made her special would suddenly make her worthless.
"...I think I see why you were asking me if I had any friends up there..."
"I hope you can understand where my sister is coming from..."
"Yes, well... actually, no." Twilight frowned, her analytical mind coming back to the fore now that her panic had subsided. "You said this was an 'old wound' for her. What did you mean?"
Luna sighed, and stared off into the distance, where the moon was now coming close to setting. "The reason that what I just described to you is not common knowledge... and why Celestia is always very cautious about such innovation... Celestia never told anyone about this. She practically had it wiped from recorded history. All for me..."
"Hmmmm?" Twilight leaned in, clearly drawn by the idea of lost knowledge. Luna smiled back, offering Twilight the position next to her again.
"Celestia didn't want this spread around, but it is my story, and I think you can take it. Still, for my sister's sake, I would appreciate it if you did not pass it on?"
"I promise." Twilight made a series of gestures ending with careful application of hoof to eye, then giggled slightly at Luna's bemused look as she moved back next to the night princess, letting the wing settle over her again.
"Well, the story goes that, a thousand years ago - and a bit more now I guess - Princess Luna grew bitter and lonely, for ponies shunned the night and frolicked in the day." Her voice took on a slightly lecturing tone as she quoted the old mare's tale, and she rolled her eyes and waved a hoof as if to cover the rest of the tale. "True enough, but the order of things was actually a little different. Yes, that's how it happened, but ponies didn't start shunning the night because they were afraid of it, or because they didn't like it.
"They avoided the night out of protest, because they were angry with me."
"What?!"
"When we first took charge of Equestria, it was... a much harsher place than the one you know now. Ponies had to work harder, lives were shorter, and harmony was hard to come by at times. The three tribes had joined together, but things were far from ideal.
"The Earth Ponies, as you might imagine, had the worst of it. Their job was to grow food, and nearly every one of them was involved in it one way or another, but it still was never enough, and everyone was always hungry. Farms, as you know them today, were just beginning to be really conceived. There were entire families of Earth Ponies whose dedication and special talents were simply in farming rocks - the right kind of rocks and dirt, in the right places, moved by hoof, so that other ponies could use the ground afterwards."
"...I think I've heard of them... I mean, my friend Pinkie Pie comes from a family of rock farmers."
Luna raised her eyebrows. "Celestia told me there are some ponies who still keep to those old traditions... I had thought she was pulling a prank on me. The process is thoroughly unnecessary now.. but ponies will be ponies, and I am hardly shocked to hear that Pinkie Pie is related to strangeness. Regardless.
"Part of the problem was that the earth ponies were struggling so hard just to get by. So many of them were required to get together and work just to produce enough food for everyone that nopony had enough time to consider ways to improve things. The pegasi were naturally no help at all, and the unicorns even less, so I took up the job myself.
"Celestia did most of the day-to-day - if you'll excuse the pun - work, keeping Equestria running at status quo, while my task lay in designing improvements. I studied with experts from earth pony, pegasus and unicorn alike to find ways to make things better, but I was never so proud of anything as I was with my work in farming.
"Myself and my wonderful, loyal team... we designed tools. Created spells. Techniques. Found and tested new types of food. Brought everything together. It took me years, but it was one of the most amazing projects of my life. And when it was done, when everything I had made was put in place, we had the best harvest we'd ever seen. We had all the food we needed and then some. Nobody went hungry. It was a happy time, and I was so proud... and just like you, I hadn't considered that that success might have a special meaning to some ponies.
"We had a feast, myself and Celestia and all the ponies who had helped put it together. And we had been so proud, so happy, that everypony had food, we did not realise that everypony was not as happy as we were. And while we feasted, riots broke out in Earth Pony communities across Equestria."
Twilight gasped at the thought, and Luna nodded grimly as she continued. "Whole familes had been put out of work, forever - their special talents simply weren't required anymore. If they had been gryphons, perhaps, they might have learnt new talents, talents that came with the bountiful food crops - baking, storing, trading, building, even art and science - but we ponies don't have that option.
"At first they had struggled against the matter peacefully, and then after that, at least subtly. The new tools would mysteriously break, requiring the farmers to call back the old ways to get the job done. But the tools were easy to fix, and suspiscion soon rose, driving rifts in the community - none of which we saw in time. On that night, the displaced ponies broke into the farms of those who still had their livelihoods, and destroyed the tools that had replaced their special talents. They held hostage the food that had been harvested, and demanded that things go back to the way they were.
"The unicorns and pegasi were aghast, as they did not understand the true depths of the issue - only that the earth ponies were threatening both the immediate food supply, and the future one, for they had quite reasonably come to expect such bounty would continue. Many earth ponies were just as shocked, but soon realised that they would get caught up in the crossfire as well if the other two races turned on them, and out of desperation sided with the renegades. Equestria nearly broke apart entirely, and it is only due to my sister's very quick politicking that it survived at all.
"But what did not survive were the changes I had made, and the tools I had created - and my reputation. The earth ponies saw their way of life had been threatened, the unicorns and pegasi saw all the promised improvements vanish, and after they had already had a taste of them too. Nobody would give my ideas another chance, and they all blamed me for the whole fiasco.
"It became the fashion to shun the night-time - the daytime is for working, they would say, and those who are about at night might come across silly ideas. A couple of generations went by, and the fashion became tradition. Celestia... I am sure she tried everything she could, but it was never enough, and I could not be said to have helped, as I was being bitter and difficult as well... She could not force ponies to like me, to like the night. Myself and the ponies, we fed on each others' shunning. And... well, I guess you know the rest."
They sat in contemplative silence for a long time after that, Twilight digesting the tale. Finally, it was Luna who spoke again, her voice soft.
"When you are as old as we are - especially Celestia - you soon find that many situations remind you of others you have been through in past. Sometimes this can be endearing, or irritating, or confusing if you aren't paying attention. But seeing somepony you love and respect come forth, showing diagrams and ideas, and explaining how this will change Equestria forever..." Luna leant down to nuzzle Twilight gently. "The way my sister sees it, the last time she said yes..."
"It started down the path that led to losing her sister for a thousand years." Twilight finished, distantly.
Silence again, as the moon crept ever closer to the horizon. The two of them lost in thought, imagining Celestia's mind. It was often easy to forget that the Princess could not be ready for everything, could still be surprised. It happened rarely, very rarely, and when it happened she could cover it well, but behind the immortality, magic and experience was still a pony mind with pony emotions, without omniscience or omnipotence.
"I guess... at least I know the reason now." Twilight sighed, picking up the papers again. "It's just... sad to know that Equestria's never going to change, I guess."
"You should not go as far as to say that." Luna chided gently.
"What? You were saying..."
"Change can happen. And indeed it does! One of the first things Celestia did once I was strong enough to fly again was to take me on a tour of the new Equestria... with specific focus on the farmland." Luna smiled fondly. "To show me all the tools I had designed in use... seeing enormous orchards and farmland, being each tended often by a single family, where previously a small village would be needed to tend land a quarter the size.
"It is all a matter of time, Twilight. Instead of introducing it all at once, she began to push the improvements a little bit at a time. As less ponies were required to do each job with each new generation, less of them gained the requisite special talent for the task. She said she would swear that sometimes it would start to happen even before the improvements were introduced, sometimes - and this whole matter started because the factories are understaffed, did you not say?" She winked.
"But how can she..."
"She has kept a close eye on technological development for centuries now. Most ponies with an idea come to her, or to the universities, long before they reach the point you have. She can encourage the slow path, or turn ponies onto new, safer ideas before they get there. She controls the funding. And sometimes, she just falls back on the fact that she's the Princess - she hates doing it, especially to someone close like you, but it's still pretty effective. It's pretty scary sometimes watching her at work." Luna laughed. "I remember the first time somepony came to her with a fully realised idea since I came back, these two unicorns with some giant machine that made cider! They even had a full song and dance number to sell it. It made pretty good cider, too, and it also harvested... and it wouldn't have taken much effort at all to turn it to other farming chores, or other crops. In ten years, it would have been the farmers' crisis all over again.
"She refused funding. The two of them were already well in debt for building their machine. They didn't take it well, but you can't second-guess the Princess. She felt horrible about it afterwards, but she let them keep the one they had. I do hope they managed alright after that..."
"Alright enough..." Muttered Twilight, who rather suddenly found she had a song stuck in her head and a craving for cider. "But it's still worrying. The Gryphons have technology that can almost match our magic already in many fields, and they're always improving. We're going to be left behind."
"We've been ahead for hundreds of years, Twilight Sparkle." Luna smiled sadly. "Perhaps someday gryphons will build technology that will move the sun and moon... but I don't think that will come for many centuries yet, so I wouldn't be too concerned if I were you.
"Our cutie marks, and our special talents, give ponies a great advantage in our lives and our magic. But it's long been said that there is no power without a cost. Sometimes that cost is simple, like the time and effort spent to learn it. Sometimes it's more complex. Every pony gets a special leg-up with their special talent, but sometimes being special can hold you back too. Who knows? Maybe if we fall far enough behind, we might decide to do away with special talents altogether. Nobody knows what the future holds."
"Well, I doubt Pinkie has a Pinkie Sense for that, anyway." She said thoughtfully, then shook her head hard for a moment as if to banish the somewhat depressing thoughts, and changed the subject. "So you think it's still worth trying this out?"
"Oh, definitely. I want to see it in action. I think we should be able to get it sorted out within your lifetime." Twilight jumped slightly as Luna suddenly moved beside her, pulling the wing off her back and slowly getting to her hooves, stretching out. Twilight smiled quietly to herself - there was something strange about seeing an Alicorn stretching, like any other pony who just got out of bed, only twice the size. It was just one of those 'normal pony' things that seemed to clash with their image.
"At least started. I should probably apologise to Princess Celestia."
"I guarantee you, she will hear none of it. You have done nothing wrong, Twilight Sparkle. But I think she would be happy to know you were well, and hold no hard feelings. Come along, we shall go together, as soon as I am done."
"Done? What do you... oh." She nodded in understanding as Luna's horn shone darkly against the night, pushing down the moon the final steps for the night. Even as she did, the sky lightened suddenly as the sun jerked its way above the horizon, without fanfare or show.
As sunrises go... that was possibly the most boring I've ever seen. Twilight thought to herself. She felt a slight twinge of guilt at that, but at the same time... it made her smile a little, to see with her own eyes a sign that Celestia still cared about her, and had felt strongly about what had happened. Not that she doubted Luna, of course, but seeing it with her own eyes was important. She still had something special.
It was a new day, and a new opportunity. It might not be quite as much opportunity as she had hoped, but she could at least start something today, and know that it would become something greater.
She laughed suddenly, realising that this was probably what earth ponies felt like when they worked their magic. A tree you planted today might not grow fruit for years to come, but you still planted it today, even if not for yourself, for your children, or your grandchildren, or even just for the rest of the town. After all, if you didn't plant the first seed, nothing would happen at all. She had spent all her life as a unicorn seeing immediate results from her work - perhaps there was plenty left for her to learn yet.
As the Princess and the Student worked their way through the castle towards Celestia's quarters, already she was thinking of ways to change her work so far, to spread out its effect, to study which areas could use the most immediate effect and which would benefit from a longer-term approach.
She was the faithful student of Princess Celestia. She was the bearer of the element of magic. But most importantly, she was one of countless ponies with a special talent which she would use to the best of her ability, and enjoy every minute of it.
Perhaps, as Luna had said, the day might come when the ponies might find their talents to be more of a hindrance than a help.
Twilight Sparkle wasn't ready to give up being special just yet.
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Well, thus ends my first actual attempt at posting fanfiction of any sort since 2001. I don't at this point have any of the impressive pre-reading and editing so many fine fics do, so this may yet be a little rough around the edges - please let me know if you spot any mistakes, or have any advice for improvement. I'm rusty as all hell, and tend to go on at times... and on... and on... I hope you like words!
This particular piece was inspired a little by Researcher Twilight, which is intriguing; a fair bit by the problems in Earth & Sky, which is magnificently like reading a movie-length episode of the show; and a lot by my fuzzy memories of reading about the Luddite movement in high school.
More pieces to come soon as NaNoWriMo moves on!
Megusta.
And I find this interpretation of Cutie Marks to be entirely draconian and beyond what the show shows. Bad form.
This was an excellent read with decent philosophical notions on progress, technology in regards to the working individual, and changes within a society based on "set in stone" talents. May you get featured for this.
Loved it. It definitely deserves to be featured.
interesting and thought provoking. I enjoyed this.
1571319 Always encouraging when your first positive comment is from an author you've been reading for a while now. :) ¡gracias!
1571400 That's the whole reason I got into pony fanfiction - looking at the concepts everyone in the setting takes for granted and examining the consequences, and I'm certainly not the only one. I will agree that the show tends to not go into the cutie marks and their exact effect on a pony's life much, beyond the somewhat unreliable point of view of the CMC, and it's likely that a lot of ponies have cutie marks either quite unrelated to any likely careers (a cutie mark for bowling comes to mind...) or as a sort of assistance rather than a direct link (Rarity, Fluttershy, Twilight and Pinkie Pie) but there would inevitably be situations where somepony's special talent was simply... not required, or even openly rejected by society. It really is a kind of dark thought, so if you found it unpleasant to consider, I'd say it's a job well done. I'm sorry you didn't enjoy it, but thank you nonetheless. :)
1571484>>1571562>>1571596 Glad you enjoyed it, and thank you for your comments! Doesn't look like I'm likely to be featured at this point, but plenty more fics to come this month yet, I hope!
I'm sorry, did you say this WASN'T pre-read or edited? Brcause it really doesn't show, not to me at any rate. While I admit I have no head for improving the structure of a story, I felt it flowed quite smoothly. I also didn't spot any spelling, punctuation, or grammar issues. As for the subject, I quite like that fir the sake of the story, you assume certain details for the sake of the story then analyze the heck out of it. I do feel that I should point out that even though a pony has a cutie mark for something doesn't mean they're helpless in all other areas. An example: Twilight's organizational skills are superb, quite possibly better than Ponyville's own Mayor Mare if Winter Wrap Up is any indication. Still, whether this was omitted by mistake or intention, the addition of it would have undercut the whole plot.
tl;dr: Great story, and I'll be awaiting your next one!
1571996 It's true that no pony is truly and completely defined by their talent - they are not, as it were...
one trick ponies - it may be that Celestia and Luna are still using values that fit better a thousand years ago, when every pony would be expected to do what they do best simply to keep the community going.
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it - The first chapter of my next story is already in the queue awaiting approval, although it's very different in theme to this one. :)
It is a very well though story. There are ponies that have jobs unrelated to their cutie mark and chose a job out of necessity, those jobs are maybe even a steeping stone like Rainbow's, and being forced to look for another jobs would be only a chore. Then there are other ponies who have jobs actually related to their talents like Pinkie and Rarity whose cutie marks are somewhat related to their jobs, but if they were forced out of work, albeit certainly annoying, would not mean they would find themselves in a crisis. But then there are those that seem to live by their cutie mark, like almost any Apple Family member or the cakes, forcing Applejack to look a job not related to either farming or Apples, or forcing the cakes to work outside a Confectionery or Bakery could make them feel like they are losing a part of themselves.
Being completely sure what is your special talent, living most of your live with it on display, and working for years in a workplace you enjoy and are good at only to find yourself being replaced by progress and being told not to bother looking for a similar work because you won't find it could and would be crushing. It would be like telling Rainbow she will either never fly again, or she won't be able to do much more than a little hovering, that she will never be able to pick up a good amount of speed and that stunt flying is a thing of the past... There are several fics like that, and while something like that would never happen on the show itself is something that could easily happen on Equestria.
A stagnant society is almost as good as dead, but there is a thing as too much progress for such a little amount of time. And while that could be devastating on any society, in one so centered on your main talent it can take a whole new level. I have to wonder if is there is really and upside to Cutie Marks, I mean, Rainbow Dash wouldn't really be slower without her mark, Twilight would still have her magic without it, and seeing Celestia could raise the Moon she certainly could raise the sun without hers. The only thing they are good for is giving others a good idea of who could you be even if you are a stranger, and that could easily be used against you.
Good show. Jolly good show!
This is really quite good. My only suggestion might be to break up the dialogue with a little more action or description. It drifts a bit too near to "wall of text" here and there. But for your first crack at writing in over a decade? Stellar.
EDIT: Oh, and closing quotation marks around your paragraphs! Quotation marks never fly solo like that.
On the other hand, did you have to write this while I'm waiting on approval for a story called 'The Pony Who Wasn't Special' that also touches on the darker side of a special talent? You're just so dang selfish.
1572054 is it where inventions do go through and things spiral out of control for real? Cuz if not, can I write a story where this happens and only unicorns are left because there was no need for earth ponies or pegasi (if you do say yes, it still might not happen cuz i'm not sure what plot can come out of it, yet)?
It was well written, and you bring up an interesting problem, but I don't think that you adequately addressed its ramifications in the story.
Mostly, I feel like the interaction between characters was kind of flat. Most of the story was background information, which is fine for a introduction chapter, but for a one shot like this, especially one that's only 6,683 words long, it feels like you are more interested in world-building than character building.
Basically, I think that you tried to do too much in too short a story. You tried to cram everything into a short one-shot, and because of that everything can only be glossed over.
So I give this a 6/10: It has an interesting premise, but it fails to live up to its potential. The best way to correct this would be to extend the chapter, or to turn this into a story with multiple chapters.
I'm reminded of a Cherilee story in which her cutie mark is questioned and revealed to not have a link to teaching.
1572966
Found it.
Smiling Flowers
A bit rough around the edges, but a nice exploration of the ramifications of special talents/cutie marks. I particularly like the idea of Celestia deliberately pacing technological advancement in Equestria -- very interesting.
A healthy dose of metaphysics. Good show, author!
A story that can start debates on equine existentialism is always welcome
And... I believe this is what Princess Luna felt before transforming to Nightmare Moon:
Quite interesting story I must say, I like how you explained what happened in the pass and all the emotions put inside this story like Twilight sadness ( you realy made me angry on Celestia in there, nicely played ).
It still leave question do cuty mark is like specialization where only rare ones like Twilight cuty mark ( talent in magic give tons of displayes in what it will be used for ).
Or a hint into direction where this pony is best at, for example, Rarity special talent is finding gems, but she just use it as tool for her favorite think, fasion, because she would not be happy to work in the gem mines for sure.
SO I quess that cuty mark symbolize special talent, but how it is used is basicaly a free choice.
There was even a game Pony Platforming Project 3, where colgate with time as special talent decided to become a dentist with rather short but epic adventure with epic bosses in the end.
pretty awesome story
keep it up!
Browsing the description and comments, when I saw this:
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/oh-stop-it-you.png
That made me smile.
Haven't read this yet, but I will as soon as I get home tonight.
I said, "Screw it! I can take 15 minutes form work to read this." And then I read it. And it's pretty damned good. I like the way you address the seemingly slow progress of technology in Equestria.
The only big thing that I noticed, that always makes my eye twitch a bit, was the use of hyphens in place of dashes. I saw a few word choices—that stood out towards the start of the story—that didn't really seem to fit with the feeling being put forward. Also, a lot of very minor punctuation and grammar errors throughout, but for doing all the editing on your own story by yourself, it is quite impressive.
I have several pre/proofreaders go through my Researcher Twilight chapters before I post them, and we still miss things... like to the point where I'll edit a chapter multiple times after posting.
Overall, well done, and very poignant. I really enjoyed it.
Oh, cutie marks, how do they work anyway? Do they somehow magically carry some sort of foresight pertaining to that particular talent in relation to the duration of one's life? If not, their permanence would indeed be quite troubling and limiting, even leading to a lot of unfortunate implications regarding the freedom of choice. If so, there shouldn't be a problem as they should be covered in the first place.
What's there to be afraid of change and progress anyway? Scientia est lux lucis!
Im personally a fan of fics that examine the depths of the cutie mark and its effects on society.
For some reason, WoodenToaster's "Awoken" started up in my head around the sun rise scene.
Not sure what to make of that...
Well. I must admit if ever there was a story that deserved it's spot on the featured board it would be this story. I am often disappointed by the lack of interesting ideas and good storytelling by the things on the feature board. Often times it feels like there isn't anything really worth looking at up there. So imagine my surprise when I find a true gem such as this!
1571400
I'm not sure about that. Whether or not that's the only special talent they possess is less important than what they believe. If they really believe that they are useless if they cannot do what they think their cutie mark says is their special talent then it's not hard to imagine such a pony spiraling downward into depression. Nothing good can come of that. We all want to be special, some people even think we all are, but to lose that which makes us special (if indeed we are) would be an immeasurable harm to the self.
We have such a problem in our world, if you think about it. Every time you hear someone talk about an English major as a dead-end career or use the phrase 'starving artists', then you can see the effect of not being special or at least your 'specialness' being considered of little to no worth. People who really desire to do those things are shortchanged in some ways. How many people read poetry? How many actually care who the author was? Does anything more than a moment of inspiration or feeling ever arise from it? Anyone care to think about the number of jobs today that require skilled manual labor. There are more mass produced items than hand-made one and anyone who really desires to make things that people will use is going to suffer at least a little, they may or may not be able to make a living. If you were skilled at making stained glass, how on earth could you possibly make enough money to get by?
1573109
There is always something to be afraid of in change and progress, those who think there is not are those who the progress benefits the most. For them the benefits outweigh the risks. For others one must assume the risks outweigh the benefits. For instance automation of factories is great if you own the factories and make money off of production and sale or if you benefit by paying less money to get the luxuries you want. The person who makes a living or made a living manufacturing those by hand is now cut out of the game. Their skills are of less value, and they may not be able to get another job. In any case, not everyone can easily rebound and reshape their lives.
Pretty good story.
Nice job on resolving that conundrum quickly in a meaningful way.
Why doesn't Celestia force the populace to accept the innovations? She has the power of a god! Anyone who doesn't immediately accept the proposals can just be "dissapeared". Once they fear you, they won't question you, because they know that's only going to end with a knife in the back.
majhost.com/gallery/spicyness/stuff/obey-celestia.png
Beautiful! May this masterpiece never be forgotten.
1573211 Heh, I thought the crazy Pinkie smilie would help me establish that I was being facetious. But yeah, you're right.
Regarding the story...I don't know. Taking the "Cutie Mark is only good for one thing" bit on its own for the time being...Celestia essentially made the choice, "Better for all to go hungry, then for some to be unhappy." That whole characterisation was...problematic. Its was basically, Unicorns liked Luna's improvements, so did the Pegasii, and at least some portion of the Earth Ponies enjoyed the improvements. But the earth ponies who were benefitting from it still sided with the luddite faction. I mean, if Celestia was going to screw over some group of ponies (which, admit it, she did, with the whole "back to starvation" thing)...well, seems like all she'd have had to do was convince the Earth Ponies who'd benefitted from the change to side with the Pegasii and Unicorns, and it goes from "civil war" to "easily quashed rebellion by lunatic fringe." So, there was that.
The other thing, regarding the cutie marks...now, here's my issue with it. Applejack and family all have apple-themed cutie marks. Alright, fair enough...but they don't JUST grow the apples. They grow them, make them into pies and other pastries, turn them into cider, etc. So, yeah, a pony with a wheat cutie mark, who suddenly no longer needed to grow wheat, might not be able to just transition to art, or construction, or what have you. But you know what happens if you suddenly have more wheat? You need more millers, which is wheat related. You need more bakers, which, depsite the dialogue, is still related to wheat...mostly. Don't need as many grape farmers? Vinters. And so on. Or, even failing that...so you end up with a food surplus, some of which at least can be stored away as protection against future famines and blights.
And, while I'm thinking of it...alright, you dealt in a comment with the ponies who's talent is tangetially related to their job, or unrelated to a career (though, arguably, we DO have professional bowlers, so...). But...what's a bubble cutie mark supposed to mean? Does a crown on your ass mean your special talent is making others want to punch you in the mouth? How does a Compass Rose equate to being a prissy jackass? I'm not going to fault you for making the idea of cutie marks rather draconian, since it is kind of valid, from a certain point of view. But trying to enforce the idea that, "Oops, you have wheat on your flank, you must only farm wheat and do nothing else for the rest of your life because everything must be taken literally," is problematic.
1572765 Actually, those are grammaitcally correct - The ending quotation is to signal that the speaker has stopped speaking. If, on the other hand, the speaker continues speaking into a new paragraph, as Luna does here, you don't have a close quote at the end of the preceding paragraph, but you still have an open quote at the beginning of the new paragraph.
1573214 Can't tell if sarcastic or not. If serious...yes, so much yes. They control the sun and moon. Fear should keep the local ponies in line.
1573259 Oh, I am serious. So serious that I'd volunteer to be Celestia's Chief Enforcer and Executioner.
I find the concept rather limited, and disingenuous to the series.
A pony is not limited by their cutie mark. Because a cutie mark is not the road, it's the signpost, but simply because the signpost is there doesn't mean you have to follow it. There are several ponies in the series who don't really follow their cutie marks.
Cutie marks are no more limiting than the elements of harmony themselves--simply bearing an element doesn't really mean you exemplify it, just that you're capable of it.
YOU FAIL ECONOMICS FOREVER.
YOU ALSO FAIL SOCIOLOGY FOREVER.
Good Lord. I'm having to fight the urge to bludgeon someone with an Economics 101 textbook!
It's the goddamn John Henry myth.... that increased productivity and better tools in an industry will destroy jobs. Every ignoramus in history has been afraid of that, and every ignoramus has been WRONG.
It's a myth, goddammit! It doesn't WORK that way! If it did, civilization would have imploded with the invention of the plow or the wheel.
Increased production means GROWTH. and GROWTH means MORE openings for employees, not LESS.
In the short term, there will be a rise in unemployment, but that will disappear as increased productivity results in growth and expansion, and people IN the industry are trained in the new methods.
Even IF every pony in the weather factory was somehow enslaved to their 'special talent' to produce weather, they would be RE employed to meet the needs of a growing industry! And it's pretty canonical that special talents are a wee bit more flexible than that, anyhow.
Celestia is not 'saving jobs' or 'protecting her little ponies', she's wasting their resources, and their LIVES, with a less-efficient system.
THUMBS DOWN. HARD.
This has been very interesting and thought-provoking. Good job!
I find this rather disturbing. What if it were an innovation in medical science? Random example, Twilight builds a machine that cures everything! And I mean everything from broken limbs to cancer.
Why didn't Celestia just say 'no' when ponies started to bang rocks together to make fire? Fire can destroy and bring pain, surely some ponies could find their death in it too. How about when they invented the wheel? Who's going to think about all those poor ponies who only know how carry stuff from point A to point B?
Okay, I'm exagerating, I know. Celestia only started to limit things after what happened to Luna but limiting ideas like she does to protect the few ponies it could affect seems stupid. And I don't like how you describe the meaning of cutie marks. Why wouldn't they be up for interpretation? Rarity has gems for a cutie mark, but she makes clothes with and without gems. Clothes aren't even featured on her mark. Fluttershy has butterflies but she takes care of every sick and hurt animal, not just butterflies.
I apologise if I sound negative, because I did enjoy your story. It gave me some food for thought
That... That story is Absurd.
First of all: Well written, interesting idea, but in the end it gives me some Serious eye-twitches.
Celestia actively repressing technology? In order to prevent ponies loosing their job? The heck?
The only way this could Possibly work, if she's a complete and utter dictator. Her word is law and screw anyone who thinks differently. With inventions like that, the ponies could have looked at private funding, and they'd receive it! If we go by the example of Filthy Rich, then there's obviously ponies around with a talent for economics. They'd see the value of these inventions even if the Princess deny funding. It's just not possible to suppress technology that way, not without extremely heavy-handed methods.
A more Reasonable way for Celestia to have solved something like this, would have been to have a tax around entirely with the purpose of offering a pension to those made "useless" by the new technologies. To help these ponies get new jobs and training. Official stipends. And that's if you go the heavy socialist road. (Which is fine by me. I live in a socialist country anyway.)
And that's not even considering the effect of how science and inventions foster More science and inventions. How many medical, life saving, technologies haven't been delayed centuries because of this?
I suppose that, after this rant, I should tell you my rating? Well, I'm giving it a thumbs up. I can't quite say I liked it, but it was an interesting direction to take it in, it was well written, and it made me Think. So that's the least I can do for it. I can't take this "universe" seriously, but I didn't dislike the way you told your story.
1573344
I find it amusing how we had exactly the same concerns at the same time :P.
1573339
I love your name and I just have to say that I agree with your comment entirely! xD
Except the thumbs down part. It still was well written, even if the economic and sociologic concepts were absurd.
1573259
Not sure that their was anything Luddite in there at all. It sounded like the problem was not so much that their jobs were replaced with machines, but that they were effectively replaced. In other words, ponies were displaced because they themselves had no relevance or importance to Equestria, not because they needed new jobs now. That seems like something that all ponies would have a problem with, excepting of course the unicorns and pegasi whose place in Equestria was not affected.
1573214
Yeah like that would work. The canon and fanon would suggest that Luna and Celestia are very much affected by their attachment to their work and the good of ponies in general not to mention how they feel that ponies see htem. If everypony ignored both of them completely, they'd probably fall apart mentally. Yay for Nightmare Moon and Nightmare Flare (fanfic ref) at the same time! I think at that point they'd be doomed, since all of Equestria would want them gone. Immortal beings may be unkillable, but it doesn't keep them from being bound or sealed away with magic. That and if you go with unicorns being able to raise the sun and moon, they'd probably solve that eventually if they didn't die out first. It seems clear that Celestia sticks with monarchy/dictatorship because she truly thinks it best for the ponies if her and Luna are solely in charge.
A well written story but the logic the characters hold is horrible. They are to avoid change because it might make some unhappy? Yes, I am simplifying it... but wow, what a sad, disgusting view that promotes death.
I'm dead serious. Have you ever heard of the Red Queen Theory? It comes from Alice in Wonderland... the Red Queen must always run, and she can't stop because if she does she will be sent flying back. But she can never move forward... she has to keep running and trying harder in order to stay in place. That idea has become the Red Queen Theory: that life must always evolve just to stay in place.
For example... lets say a plant is the favored food of a type of horse. The plants evolve needles to protect the leaves. But the horse evolves a long tongue. So the plant creates a poison that it releases if too many leaves at eaten. So the horse learns to only eat a few leaves. So the plant develops pollen to warn other plants that it is being eaten and they too should make the poison. This isn't hypothetical... there really is a tree that does this and the horse is the modern giraffe.
What Luna and Celestia are suggesting will lead to the death of Equestria. When you stop evolving and stop growing you die. Not just as a species but as a country. Look at the Romans... they got big and powerful so they stopped trying... they stuck with what they knew and called it a day. Well, along comes the invaders that have evolved and bam! Rome is burning and Nero is playing his fiddle.
Life is about change. The moment it becomes static we die. And the idea that we should hide innovation just to avoid hurt feelings is the exact opposite of harmony... I wonder what the element of honesty would say to that! What Celestia and Luna are suggesting is that it is better to lie and hide and not move forward as long as it spares the few... the needs of the few outweigh the needs of the many. Twilight herself said that Equestria is having problems with the weather... so the answer is to do nothing about it?
Luna suggested slowly implementing it... uh... duh. Celestia could have said that. Instead she just boldly says no and leaves Twilight a wreck. Nice fix, Princess. "Twilight, this is a wonderful idea... let us discuss how will will implement it"... vs. "NO" and sending the unicorn on her way... wow... just wow.
And what a sad, poor view Celestia has of her subjects. 1000 years ago they did something so now Celestia refuses to let something similar happen again. That is such a horrible view for a ruler to have and, once again, dooms Equestria to become stagnant. Luna's excuse of "Well, we are already ahead of the gryphons" reeks of foolishness. She sounds like the kings of old when the barbarians would be at their gate and the ruler would scoff... right before their head was lobbed off. She has so little trust in them... it is sad. I half wish there would be another chapter, where Twilight did go ahead without Celestia's consent and the Princess finds that her 'little ponies' are adults and can handle change and hey, might even be happy for the help!
And finally (and I am truly sorry for this long, drawn out review... I know how much i hate it when others post like this in my stories), I am left feeling empty by the ending because we get no true resolution. Celestia caused Twilight so much pain... and she is given a free pass because 'I am sure she had it just as bad?' Uh... no. Sorry, but no. No one in life gets a free pass because they feel bad for hurting another person. Sorry, but no. Again, weak arguments and postering over the true issues.
Now... if this is what you were going for, then you have done a WONDERFUl job. I am not being sarcastic... if the story's message is to portray Luna and Celestia as being stuck in the past and unable to see the future, than you've done a great job. But... if I am suppose to sympathize with either of them... then I am afraid you need to go back to the drawing board, because your Celestia and Luna are either dictators or fools and their actions in this story's universe will doom Equestria, mark my words.
Technically wise, I did not find any grammar errors or structure errors, so good job there. You write solid pieces that promote thought... though I doubt this type of thought is what you were looking for.
1571400 I agree, in fact this interpretation of cutie marks is completely wrong for cannon-verse.
First, Cutie Marks only are of the special talent already in that pony, they don't suddenly get a totally different talent with their cutie mark. Which is why Rainbow Dash was already fast and Rarity could already find gems.
Which brings me to my second point, Your cutie mark does not have to be your profession, there are so many ponies that have cutie marks unrelated to their job. I'll list a few. Rarity for one, her special talent is finding gems, she actually has to work to be a dress maker, it's a skill not a talent. Derpy, her talent is bubbles. Colgate, she is the town dentist (admittedly that is fanon, but there can't be that high of a demand for turning a big hourglass). Celestia, her cutie mark is blatantly the sun, but the moon works just as well for a thousand years.
Finally, the weather factory is understaffed as it is. Now would be the best time to update them, since it would have the least impact should the cutie mark thing be true in your alternate universe. Once the demand gets back enough, by your logic more pegasi will start poofing up weather cutie marks like crazy!
This seems less like an alternate take on Equestria or even commentary on what industrialization does to jobs, and more a Luddite's view on why technology is bad. It even uses the same arguments in the story the same way Luddites did with complaints that no one will be able to work as long as machines continue to get better.
There seems to be an awful lot of people focused on the part about losing the job. That's really a minor concern, though--it's the impact on their special talent, the loss of their purpose in life, the newfound absence of a piece of their soul, that would really hit them. Cutie Marks can be a bit abstract from time to time, but what someone's talent is is very clearly defined. Not being able to perform that anymore would be... crippling. Further, they *can't* get job training to learn to do the same jobin a very different way in this interpretation of Cutie Marks.
Further, all of the technological advancements are being implemented--just over time. Besides which, many of the areas in which technology would be important are likely supplemented or replaced entirely with magic: medicine, for instance.
Leaving all those arguments aside, though, I think the most chilling thing about this is the interpretation of Cutie Marks. That's... really disturbing. Very interesting, but really disturbing.
I really like this.
1573378 Well, first off, I was more going with luddites in the modern usage of the word to denote someone generally opposed to technology, as opposed to Luddites, the followers of Ned Ludd who smashed weaving mechanisms and clashed with the British army over industrialization. The Luddite movement, being based on the distinction between skilled labour and unskilled labour, as well as focusing more on optional goods (relatively) possessed a number of legitimate grievances, even if they went about the airing of those grievances in an ill-concieved method. So, as far as Twilight's proposal and Celestia's reluctance, I can actually see the value of it, given that the "weather" shortage (which, when you actually say it like that, sounds...wrong) seems not to be impacting food production, and would be more a matter of convinence.
My issue was with the original incident, as related by Luna. It wasn't a matter of Ponies having jobs versus steady supplies of a luxury item...again, assuming weather counts as that, in Equestria. Let's assume for the sake of the arguement that it does, and the food supply is, during the modern time, secure. The original incident was a matter between some Earth Ponies no longer being needed to produce food...and there not being enough food to go around. One can argue back and forth about the benefits and hazards of automating, say, automotive manufacture, or shoe production, etc, etc, because at the end of the day, no one is going to die because they don't have a car, or a particular kind of shoe. Insufficent food spplies, conversely, ARE a life or death matter. So, in that instance...Celestia and Luna going into full-on vengeful goddess mode to supress the rebellion would not be akin to Nightmare Moon/Tyrant!Celestia (I refuse to use Nightmare Flare, it ruins the Night-mare pun thing Luna has going) issues, since they are focusing on the good of the majority of the populace by ensuring the ready availability of food for all of their subjects, over the mad demands of a few who've been replaced.
Also, argueably, even by stepping in and siding with the rebels, Celestia still imposed tyrannical rule, in that she's now, again, forcing the Unicorns and Pegasii to accept STARVATION. I'd question how that squares with your option that she acts for the good of her subjects? If it were merely a matter of opposing unilateral rule, she'd have let things play out without interference...let's face it, a combined force of aerial Pegasii and Unicorn casters, against Earth Ponies can only end one way.
1573339
I'll give you a modern day example to go along with what you said: Self Scan Checkout lanes.
When they first began popping up, everyone was screaming that it would result in loss of jobs. Stores that had unions actually saw the stewards go to battle and threaten strikes because they assumed it would mean no more cashiers.
But a funny thing happened... you need people to run the machines. You need techs to repair them. You need employees to fill them up with cash. In the end, MORE jobs were created because of new technology... and prices went down and wait times went down too.
1573549
Why not? Your argument about training has been heard before... they screamed it in all the auto plants because it would mean a loss of jobs. And yeah, it will mean a loss of jobs... but does that mean EVERYONE ELSE should suffer just because a handful of people/ponies (who, as noted in this very story, can't get the job done) might be sad?
Sorry, but now.
Yes, sometimes the wheels of progress are greased with the blood of the innocent. But to stop the wheels is to make roadblocks with everyone else.
Can't say I agree with all this story has to say about cutie marks, ponies' places in society, and more, but it was well written and quite readable as a worldbuilding piece, so it gets my approval anyway.
I do want to say, because I fear you might get a bit sad by what I and others have said... that it is a good story. If it were terrible or even modestly good then we wouldn't bother to respond. You should be proud of this story... even if we disagree with the theme.
Trust me... I've taken plenty of lumps with my stories... it can be troubling to see so many 'negative' reviews but, for the most part, people are attacking the idea, not how you wrote it.
1573274
The Empress protects.
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1573339
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>>Go to bed when story has a few comments, a couple favourites, and has fallen off the front page.
>>Expect to see not much more response until other fics have been put up
>>Wake up and get on PC before work
>>See over 150 notifications waiting for me
>>Sit there stunned for a few moments until featurebox rolls over to show this fic
>>Die.
Wow. Just... wow.
Thank you everyone who has read, favourited or commented on this. :) I was not expecting anything like this kind of response for my first fic on the site, especially one I was a little iffy about myself.
Reading all the comments and arguments has definitely provoked a lot of thought as to how much this would actually hit Equestria. As many people have said, and I really didn't focus enough on, yes, Celestia and Luna are stuck in the past somewhat here. Taking only the ponies we see on the show, it's really quite difficult to see how the labour force could be cut down further than it is - after all, the primary food-providing orchard for the town is run entirely by only two and a half able-bodied ponies (who, by the way, seem to be pretty permanently short on bits). Any advent in farming technology would be extremely unlikely to lower that number. The town is small enough that we don't see a lot of competition at all.
I was definately making the assumption when I wrote this that pony magic is quite prevalent and important towards all the ways ponies replace natural processes, and my headcanon assumes that pony magic - earth, pegasus or unicorn - works much, much better with things related to your special talent. In short, as a lot of people here have stated, I'm making special talents a lot more important than the show seem to suggest - but this may again be a throwback to a thousand years ago, when everyone might have been needed to use their special talents for the good of the nation.
Did Celestia make the right choice to put things back to the way they were instead of putting down the rebels? Maybe not. Remember though that this is a magical land of harmony and rainbows, and has to stay that way because Discord is not just a worrying concept but a physical being who can wreak havoc on society. This was not too long after the sisters took charge, which means that not only would she have been comparatively inexperienced at governance (and there was always the possibility of the unicorns taking back the sun and moon if she was overthrown) - it was also probably not long after Discord got stoned the first time - that would have been fresh in her mind as she watched Equestria sit on the brink of war.
Has she made the right choice since then? I don't know - my consideration of the metaphysics of the universe only goes so far before there are too many factors to consider, and as has been pointed out, I'm neither an economist or a sociologist. But if it was the first real disaster that they faced after taking office, then it is likely one of her few points of true fear and paranoia, even a thousand years later. Stagnation is a real threat to any society that has unchanging leadership - I know that in many fields of science at least, major leaps of progress are often made when older scientists who hold tight to old theories die and make way for new blood and new ideas.
Frantic justification of my headcanon aside, having read everyone's thoughts and considered it further I'll definately agree that it's not an entirely realistic situation and either needs a lot more information or a fair bit of updating details. The thing I agree most with was that the ending was weak - I actually really didn't have a strong idea of where I wanted to end it when I started, just trying to examine the system. I wasn't happy with it at all, but without expanding it into a longer piece with Twilight trying to fix the system, I really wasn't sure how to push it. The focus on 'Being Special' was actually something I only came up with right at the end as I was considering the final lines, and edited the rest accordingly. :)
So all in all - thank you again everyone for bringing this up to the featured box, and for giving me a lot to think about in my world creation and writing in future. I hope you've enjoyed debating the subject as much as I have, and sorry I couldn't individually respond to comments!
1573388
Firstly, no Monarch can ever be truely benevolent. Celestia and Luna will undoubtedly have a darker side to their role as leaders. Celestia particulay, because, let's face it, she's a Tyrant. She has a taste for excessive punishments to her enemies (Nightmare Moon & Discord) and seems to neglect her kingdom quite a bit, leaving all the biggest problems in the hooves of the Mane 6, and I don't like the way she treats the ponies all that much, particularly Twilight.
I invite you to look at the evidence in detail.
Firstly, The princess is missing when Nightmare Moon arrives, totaly failing to protect her kingdom when it needed her the most. Instead, It falls to the untried and youthful team of six friends to do all the heavy lifting to defeat Nightmare Moon at last. In the final confrontation, Nightmare says fairly implicitly that Twilight and her friends don't understand what they're up against or what they're doing. Twilight takes this as a threat, but this could have been a warning as well, to avoid jumping to conclusions in the heat of battle. When, against all odds, they do manage to subdue Luna, Celestia appears from nowhere to congratulate them. Almost as if all of their actions had been preplanned. In the ensuing battle over the Elements of Harmony, Nightmare Moon's power is broken and she reverts to a childlike form (despite her being the same age as her much more mature appearing sister) and Celestia demands that Luna repent. She does so, weeping into her sister's mane. This may be due to her magical assault by the elements, but could also have to do with her ultimate defeat at the hands (Or Hooves) of the pony equivalent of a bunch of pre-teens. Or maybe it's because she knows that if she doesn't bow to Celestia's commands, she'll be killed.
So at the last we see Nightmare Moon was imprisoned for undefined reasons, returned by equally indistinct events, and although she put on a show as a monster, logic suggests it was just that… a show.
Unfortunately, as she always does, Celestia used guile to degrade, disgrace, and subjugate her sister.
The single consistent theme Celestia lives by seems to be destroying everything those around her hold dear and whatever dignity they believe they possess. Take the six main characters, for example.
Twilight Sparkle considers herself well read, rational, a favorite of Celestia's and likes having things neat and ordered. In response to this Celestia orders her to make friends in a new town, specifically in the vicinity of a group of well-meaning but neurotic ponies with deep psychological issues, issues that literally drive her to drink. These friends are also guaranteed to throw a monkey wrench into her careful plans, destroy her property, and make demands on her time. As for her coveted rationality, superstition runs rampant throughout the valley and every pony seems to have a mob mentality in moments of crisis, ignoring her increasingly frustrated attempts to explain things scientifically.
She is also a magic user, forced to find a place in a town which is proven time and again to look down on or ignore magic. As for being Celestia's favorite (and still only) student, Celestia never addresses her directly unless she's cornered, never visits, corresponds via letters despite living in a castle a few miles outside of town, and in the final episodes of the first season stands directly beside Twilight while she talks with other people or overlooks her entirely. All the better to put Sparkle in her place.
Rainbow Dash considers herself athletic, has a dream of being in the Wonderbolts, and prefers action to inaction. Celestia keeps maneuvering Rainbow Dash into situations where physical effort is either a detriment or unneeded. When Celestia sends the six to wake up a dragon and send it away (a task she mysteriously does not see to herself) Fluttershy proves to be catatonic when frightened, so Rainbow has to carry her and fly very slowly, much to her annoyance.
The most damning scene of Celestia destroying Rainbow's spirit is when she is given an honorable mention award for rescuing Rarity during a flying match. (A match in which Celestia completely failed to intervene in when one of her subjects was, quite literaly, falling to her death). Rainbow is seen flying off with members of the Wonderbolts… But in later episodes, still longs to be part of the same corps. Apparently the award was just for show: another indication that all rewards only come from Celestia herself and her subjects are powerless without her approval. No-one is allowed to achieve their dreams no matter how much effort they exert. At the Grand Galloping Gala (Celestia's most insidious scheme to date.) Rainbow is allowed to approach from a distance the Wonderbolts, even while wearing her honorary headband, but Celestia doesn't lift a hoof to introduce her and leaves her to pass a lonely evening in quiet desperation.
Now comes one of Celestia's most despicable acts: The way she deliberatley tortures poor, innocent Fluttershy.
Fluttershy Is a gentle soul, shy, animal lover and so paralyzed by fear she faints with her eyes open.
Like clockwork, Celestia insures that this humble naturalist is put into situations involving great danger. Dangerous animals are her favorite torture as Fluttershy is then required to go along on expeditions to calm them despite her terror because of her empathy with the fauna world. One of Celestia's crulest acts is allowing Fluttershy to care for her dying pet phoenix, not informing Fluttershy why it appears sick in the first place, saying nothing on the subject...up until the bird actually bursts into flames, causing Fluttershy's heart to break.
The true erosion of Fluttershy was seen at the Grand Galloping Gala, where she was allowed into an extensive garden she's always wanted to visit but for no apparent reason the animals flee her in terror. This provokes the serene Pegasus into a psychotic rage at being ignored until she is a raving, mud smeared, wreck. One wonders, not without cause, whether the animals had been told in advance to ignore Fluttershy, to create the conditions for her breakdown, all for Celestia's entertainment.
Rarity s industrious, elegant, romantically inclined towards Celestia's nephew. Again, Celestia delights in setting up events that require Rarity to work herself to exhaustion, such as multiple consecutive fashion shows and ballroom parties. As Rarity is apparently the only seamstress in town this seems deliberately cruel. Many fashion icons also are invited to the town, but each seems to be snobbish and scornful Rarity's work offhand, plummeting her fragile self-esteem. Overworked and underappreciated, her generosity in the face of coordinated unfairness is a true testament to her character. At the last Rarity, when she meets Celestia's nephew she's had a long standing crush on, discovers he's a complete asshat without the basic decency of common courtesy. Why Celestia invited him to the Gala, and why she doesn't discourage his behavior are more indications he's a carrot specifically chosen to be dangled before Rarity, before being pulled out of her grip at the last moment for a laugh.
The true sign of Celestia's dark side is when Rarity, imbued with butterfly wings, competes at the Pegasus flying championships, but the spell wears out and she spirals to her doom. The Wonderbolts wing after her without hesitation, but Celestia remains in her seat despite possessing powerful wings. Even her ever-present winged guards stay where they sit. Does she simply not care, or was she enjoying the spectacle? You can almost imagine her guards preparing to leap to the rescue, and the cold command forcing them to do nothing.
Pinkie Pie enjoys parties, and prefers a casual atmosphere to a ceremonial one. Pinkie is her own worst enemy with her addiction to parties apparently causing mental paralysis when they are denied her, to the extent of hallucinations, multiple personality disorder, and even involuntary muscle twitches. Because of this perhaps Celestia hasn't focused her wrath on this pony, except for one specific event that seemed tailored to her degradation. Twilight is given two tickets only to the Grand Galloping Gala and seemingly has to chose two of her five friends to attend. The others have reasons to go, but Pinkie's reasoning is based on the fact that first and foremost it's a party, the best one ever.
While the remaining four basically want to take advantage of the attendees, Pinkie is overjoyed at the prospect of her major defining characteristic and only goal in life made manifest. To deny her that would seem particularly cruel.
In the end Celestia's excuse for sending two tickets is 'You could have asked at any time' which is the punch line to her sick, sordid joke, played on all six of them. In the final episode of the first season Pinkie Pie does get to finally attend the party. She finds it to be a boring social gathering with classical music. Where she got it into her head it would be a raucous celebration is left to the imagination, but it's not impossible that a certain princess planted the idea in her mind.
Applejack is a hard worker devoted to her apple business and level-headed. Celestia always turns a blind eye when Applejack is either being praised for her celebrated deeds in the valley or working herself to a state of extreme exhaustion. Had her friends not intervened, it is not too impossible to imagine that she might have actualy worked herself to death. In the former case, the ponies are often praising Applejack for rescuing them from disasters like stampedes, so much so that they actually form a committee and hold a ceremony to present her with an award. In the past for events like the Pegasus flying championship, Celestia arrives to give it her blessing. But when a local hero is honored she doesn't put in an appearance or provide anything to suggest she even pays it any mind.
Conversely when Applejack periodically lets her stubbornness get the better of her and becomes crazy with work, Celestia is nowhere to be seen even given that the apple orchard seems to main source of food for the valley and stunted production would be clearly noticeable by a responsible leader. At the gala, Applejack is allowed to advertise her wares, but the guests are too prudish to accept country products. Coupled with the fact that only a select group of ponies are invited to the Gala at all, its suggested that Celestia holds her court and parties mostly for a rich and high born audience from another kingdom, and she invites the local in just to mess with both classes at once.
Furthermore, Celestia seems to delight treating all of her subjects in a degrading fashion. Celestia has wings and a magical horn, yet she's carried everywhere on a chariot drawn by four guards. Perhaps even more disturbing is the fact that her Pegasus guards are always frowning and do not speak or move when addressed. This suggests some kind of intense training program, instilling absolute obedience and basically depersonalizing her minions until they become literal living weapons. The other ponies express fear when told her guards will even stop by to look for someone, so it can be construed they are rough, destructive, and maybe even violent.
Celestia has also been absent for every major disaster or enemy that has struck the kingdom. When the Ursa Major rampaged through a defensless town, she didn't even show up after the attack that left several homes leveled. When Trixie arrived and began tormenting and threatening her people, she did nothing to stop her. Perhaps Trixie's behaviour amused Celestia in some way?
Likewise, a rampaging hydra and a cockatrice have nearly killed ponies and turned them to stone, but Celestia has never sent her elite guards to clear the Everfree Forest, leaving her subjects in constant peril, for her own amusement. Events and rituals of the kingdom seem designed to create contention and discord, and to further degrade her subjects. Traditional races include many bizarre and dangerous events, social functions usually have an element of fierce competition, and other events like Winter Wrap up specifically exclude ponies of a certian class or discipline.
Celestia is referred to as a 'princess' but there has never been seen a queen or a king. This suggests Celestia is either remarkably powerful for her rank, or she chose the title herself because it made her sound younger, and there is no other royalty. It could be assumed, therefore, that Celestia has deliberatley removed all evidence of her family even existing, aside from Luna. One shudders to think what may have happened to the rest of her family.
In instances of Twilight delivering letters to Celestia, she is always seen in some kind of leisure activity: sitting on her throne, reading books, taking a bath. Apparently, despite all her absences, Celestia has plenty of free time. The famous 'tea' sequence shows that Celestia is not above messing with well-meaning ponies. When the Cake family fills her tea cup as she empties it, she deliberately pretends to drink from her cup so that it overflows when refilled, deliberatley embarrasing the Cakes infront of their guests.
With her sister banished, she one not only the kindom but also the sun and the moon. She is practically god, and has obtained this position by exiling her own flesh and blood. I think that Luna was lucky to have survived.
The Grand Galloping Gala shows just how twisted Celestia can be.
-Celestia holds balls and parties at great expense, but she doesn't even enjoy them.
-Celestia chooses ponies to attend not based on merit but based on how much their neurosis and bumbling amuse her.
-Celestia is willing to stand by and watch her guests plunge into manic depression so they will be driven into destructive frenzies for her own entertainment.
-Celestia will watch as guests are hurt, nearly killed, and even as her own Palace falls down around her ears, just so she won't be bored at a social function.
In conclusion Celestia implicitly states that the happiness, comfort, self-respect, the very LIVES of her subjects mean less to her then amusement. This is the mark of an unabashed tyrant.
Celestia is not just apathetic, not just shortsighted, not just lazy and unfeeling and unjust, but she is unremorsefully evil... BY HER OWN ADMITTANCE!
For now, however the golden helmed guards roam unchecked, the 'lessons' continue to become more and more deadly, and the lives of the six blameless ponies remain the playthings of the being of true malevolence lurking in their midst.
(And I got all this from just one season. Horrifying, isn't it?)
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Carpe Diem, Noctem Vincere!
1573339 I think it's fair for you to believe that Celestia is wrong about what would happen, but she has a plausible reason for it, and Luna's story makes sense for 1000 years ago when everyone was used to a constant struggle to survive and the tribes still didn't really trust each other.
Twilight and Luna even note that normally things would work exactly like you say.
And peasants used to revolt over things like this all the time in the real world; they just always got crushed.
I think Celestia's wrong, sort of. Ponies going insane because they can't use their cutie mark (or because it fails them somehow) is shown over and over in the show, but it doesn't have to be used as their job, because you see plenty of ponies whose cutie marks have nothing to do with their job (like, say, Pinkie Pie -- throwing parties is her *hobby*).
On the other hand, Celestia isn't slowing Equestria to a stop. Just to a ridiculous extent.
It's totally going to end up being a 3rd world backwater if technological progress works anything like in the real world.