• Member Since 3rd Oct, 2023
  • offline last seen January 15th

SamParks10


Just someone who likes writing stories! Now shoo read my stories instead of stalking my bio! ;)

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Dr. Nikolai dies in an accident while researching about wormholes, trying to turn back time despite it seeming impossible and ends up waking up in the Everfree forest in the body of a young pony, unaware of what he is.

His experiments on magic, his newfound interest attracts attention to himself despite his desire to remain hidden.

(The Art on the cover page is mine. Do not steal. You can ask and use if I agree.)

Chapters (13)
Comments ( 275 )

There are awkward bits of phrasing and strange words choices every few sentences. You're also using some unusual formatting conventions and some curious spacing and indentation choices that make it look like you accidentally pressed enter a couple dozen times. It's not bad but it's enough to distract me from the story.

The flashback feels out of place.

You should probably have published two chapters at once. As it is, this is just a generic intro that gives background info on the protagonist, but doesn't actually tell readers what the story is going to be about. It would help if there were more of a hook to motivate people to want to follow a story. A second chapter would have helped provide one.

And do you think the assistant Elise should also end up transmigrating

I recommend not. Nothing about her personality especially makes me want her to tag along, and for a first-time writer, having two fish-out-of-water characters may present more of a burden on you as a writer than she adds to the story by her presence. It's a little odd that you're asking, though. From the character tags I assume you have an idea of how this story is going to play out. Who the primary characters will be seems like something that should already be fairly well established in your mind.

@LordBucket Hey thanks for leaving a review! Really appreciate it! And yes will take a while to get used to this site but will try to format better so it's easier to read! :twilightsmile:

Also yep I have a good idea of the story flow but like to get opinions from the readers on some parts!
Got a few more chapters ready that I intent to publish maybe on a weekly basis, but since you are the first person to comment I published another chapter! ^^

Hope you enjoy! And thanks again! Constructive criticism really helps me figure out how to make it better!

Fun chapter so far, looking forward to see how it progresses. Keep it up dude.

I am enjoying this, continue it if you will.

11714713
This is satirical. I like how it's going, and how it's started, and I am preparing myself for the journey this fic will take me on.

Nikolai Volkov? The first Wrestlemania tag team champion, with the Iron Shiek?

He looked down at me like I was insect. "Bitch deserved it. Shouldn't have gotten a retraining order against me."

An insect*

Restraining*

[And do you think the assistant Elise should also end up transmigrating (I am thinking she could be a changeling if she does) or should it just be him?]

No, one is good enough

11714231
Thank you! Glad you are enjoying it so far! I might have accidently clicked on the publish button for the next chapter instead of waiting another week ;)

11714715
Glad you like it! Thank you! :twilightsmile:

11714916
Lol just went with a random name generator trying to get a fancy name and ended up with that 😂

11714930
Ooh tysm! Can't believe I missed it! Will make the changes! 👍

"Whelp....looks like I ended up adopting this tree dog creature." I shrugged as I laid back down in my shelter intent on catching up the remaining forty minutes of my two hours sleep.

Unexpected but not unwelcomed

Make friends with a manticore next!

Absolutely love this fic, great job (p.s. do you take story requests?)

11714988
Glad you like it so far! And yep I do take story requests! 😎👍

11714959
Ohhh nice idea! I might just do that! :twilightsmile:

11715009
Cool, I actually had an idea, basically like a what if type story where basically Applejack stayed with her aunt and uncle orange, maybe renaming herself to Orangejack, if you found it interesting let me know

I see the word losing misspelled as loosing so often that I begin to wonder. Time travel is an interesting concept though. Been enough of it to have plenty of shared theory in a dozen different forms.

Well that is a unique spin on the traditional Everfree timberwolf encounter.

Nice chapter, great job, but I am surprised that the first thing he does at the first sign of near by civilization was to wonder if he would go to prison for apples, and not seeing it as his salvation, I don't even think he is aware this land is even inhabited by scientiant ponies and not something more humans, even if he probably think he is in an other dimension? I wonder what will be his shock he will have when he finally sees a talking pony for the first time?

Cute story)

You need an editor,or check the story better, Nikolai is now a unicorn, so he doesn't have hands yet he refers as he still have hands, unless this is an anthro fic, but the writing does not suggest that, nor is in the tag of the story.

11715485
Oof can't believe I missed that! Thanks for pointing it out! Made the corrections!
And yep he has Hooves not hands since it isn't anthro! ^^

11715470
Nice idea, might just add it in next chapter! 😎👍

11715324
Thank you! Glad you like it so far! :twilightsmile:

11715323
Yep he hasn't met any ponies so far so he still thinks the other sentient forms might be some alien creature or something lol

11715066
Interesting! Might write a short later based on that! Thanks for the idea! ^^

11715112
Ooh thanks for pointing it out! Corrections made!
(I have always thought it was spelt as loosing for some reason lol)

Lo amo, se va para favoritos :heart:

Interesting premise(well sorta an, well it is Isekai) but more unique where the main character is a scientist trying to comprehend the world of MLP, since it is crazy. I am very excited to read more in the future.

11715801
Muchas gracias! 😊

11715817
Glad you like it so far! Updates are almost daily these days so hope you stick around! 😄

Thank you for the chapter !
I love it when he experiment with magic !

The manticore followed closely behind me wagging its scorpion like tail in excitement. I have a feeling Fluffy will soon have a grizzly bear friend.

He~ pet date.

And some paragraphs are glued

11715876
Thanks! Glad you liked it! ^^

11715609
The frustrating thing about English is that 'loosing' is still a word, just not the desired meaning. 'Loosing' means to be in the act of setting something free (loosing the dogs on an intruder, for example).

That being said, there was one other thing I noticed, it's "espresso" not "expresso", for the coffee consumed by Nicolai at the start of the chapter.

"What the buck!" I sighed and just laid down on the forest ground. "......Great I can't even cuss now."

Aaaand im not reading this.

I hate stories that do this.

11715904
Oh I see! Thanks for the help once more! Really helps me out!

11715954
I understand readers have different preferences and that's perfectly alright.
I find it amusing when I come across it but I get you man, hope you find another story more suited to your interests! Thanks for checking out the first chapter! ^^

This is an interesting story, please complete it, I have seen many Interesting, fun, and Promising story just to be incomplete, Hiatus Or Canceled for 5 yearsnor more

I line in the direction of Doctor Vector, Doctor Quantum feels too unstable. I must observe it first to judge.

They will panic seeing him ride a manticore.

Did he just yoink The elements of harmony? Lol

11715604
Cool, I’ll be sure to be on the look out, but if you do turn the idea into a story just give me a little notification so I can know as soon as it uploaded. Anyway have a good day, and take as much time as you need

11716176
Alright will do! 👍

I thought that name sounded familiar. 🤣

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikolai_Volkoff

His assistant should be there since he dragged her to the blast and was probably hit by it if he didn't maybe she was teleported further off though
Also I was thinking pegasus since then she could forage some lightning up and be resistant during wiring
Anyway I like it so far :)

Fun chapter, but is he somehow drinking triple dose expresso? Because he seems to jump from one thing to another without from one paragraph to another without any transition time skip between the events making it sounds like this is all happening within a few minutes. You might want to try putting markers, show a passage of time, or something like: After settling in the ruined castle I didn't waste time gathering exploring and fathering material for the next few hours, the trying to learn at the same time what I could of the previous inhabitants of the place, looking like they were in a medieval level of technology, and really seemed to like their horses, with all the depictions of of them with horns and wings along with actual full armour cavalry set; did they worship them maybe? Lucky for me then.

You might also fly over certain evens by just mentioning them, just to show stuff had happened like: at one point, cantering through the hallways I kept stumbling over strap doors and passage ways, one after another, getting lost for hours in this labyrinths.

Those are just suggestion and examples, you don't need to follow them.

"A horned horse? I look like a unicorn of some sorts...just with unrealistically colors."

Minor error: "unrealistically" should be "unrealistic"

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