In the city of Maretropolis, superheroes and supervillains aren't that uncommon. In fact, it's expected of the average resident to encounter some super-powered maniac at least once per month. Many of these villains have their reasons. Whether it's greed or to exact revenge, their motives are perfectly understandable.
Enter Pink Scorch. She has been in the anti-hero game for a while, only choosing to fight crime when she crosses paths with it. She's even had a few rundowns with villains, all of which she could relate to to some degree or another.
This newest villain, however, has her stumped. They spray juice everywhere, complain about poor dieting choices, and cause problems among taxpayers—all in the name of good health.
Her name is Juice Mare, and nothing about her makes any sense.
Special thanks to NorristhePony, semillon, and Petrichord for proofreading! Also, thanks to Flutterpriest and Bandy for helping with the bonus chapter.
Best riff on comics I've yet seen. I love how you simultaneously rip on villain motivations while leaving them just ambiguous enough to be sympathetic down the line.
The battles are ridiculously absurd and over the top, just the way I like it.
The social relationships lean enough away from feel good cliches to avoid becoming trite. And of course, the jabs at shippers were both deeply cathartic and hilarious.
I'm not lying when I say I would love a sequel to this.
^^^ I second this! It's an utterly captivating story you've cooked up for us, here. The character work in particular, I feel, is exquisite. I want to know more about everypony's backstories! How did Claire and Winter meet? Why did Pulp and Namaste's dad become a demon, as is hinted at? Will Pink Scorch ever meet her match in battle?
The intrigue! I crave more!
That was a lot of fun! Goofy and over the top, loved the way you wrote out the fight sequence. Could definitely see myself reading more.
No! Evil WON?!
Also I'm wondering what the minotaur was saying all the time
No Juice, you aren't.
Well, at least she's in a good place with her folks, even if she's LYING
GASP what a twist
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What's interesting is my intention wasn't to create a meta narrative about comic books. One of my editors pointed out how they liked the subversion of tropes as well, and it wasn't even anything I considered. The story was inspired by animes like Chainsaw Man, One Punch Man, and Mob Psycho, and I set out to make some that wasn't binded down by the restraints of common comic book tropes. It wasn't until after writing it that I realized that by avoiding writing a comic book story, I had inadvertently written a a subversion of comics instead.
The jab at shippers was intentional tho, lmao.
As for the social relationships, I planned from the beginning to make that the sole focus of the entire series. Since I first conceptualized Winter and Claire, I knew I wanted them to have a close relationship and to explore that. After giving Juice Mare a sister, I decided I want that to be the running theme of the series. I have a lot of creative ideas flowing, I just have to decide which one to write first.
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That's all stuff I plan on exploring! I have a lot of other neat villain ideas and want to explore them as well, but I want to give Pulp her own sequel since I think it would be really interesting to explore the relationship between her and her sister.
I'm also considering writing a longform fic that lacks a definite end. That'll allow me to approach the narrative any way I want without the readers having to comb through dozens of stories.
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Glad you liked it! Wish the story garnered more traction, but hey, people really seemed to enjoy it.
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The mech suit isn't a minotaur. It was described to be as tall as minotaur. Also, it's their dad.
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Yeah, it was bad that they lied, but as someone in their twenties and living on their own, when it comes to responsibility you want your parents to believe you have everything together out of fear of being scolded. It's very for people around that age.
I like how Juice Mare is practically Anon Mare, but in good health.
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I usually hate subversion of any kind but this sits pretty comfortably on the boundary between comedic and taking things seriously, which I appreciate.
And well deserved.
I do love my character studies.
Sounds promising. I eagerly await your future work.
This was by far one of the best fics I've read these past three months. Action! Drama! Riveting Characters!
This had all the parts of an amazing story, I can not express how smooth and well kept the narrative was whilst allowing the ultra violence be kept streamlined. While most of the story was fighting you were able to captivate me with the dialogue whilst keeping a consistent flow that did not become a detriment to it all. This is fucking amazing, all good elements with no downsides.
The only thing I could criticize in the fact is the length and world building you created. Like this is comedy so no need for such serious drabs of real world constraints but I felt things were a little too loose in consequences. Yes there was those images of the sister which was a great show of intrigue, the thing is it only came as an afterthought. While the fighting and characters didn't need the room to breathe in new suspense, I felt like it was more ambiguous how good Winter Heart was. Yes she's an anit-hero but also how willing was she to be better?
Maybe I'm just making it more complicated, either way I loved it!
Also I'm more of a root beer guy myself-
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When I wad writing the story I didn't have a plan I'm action. So, I went with my favorite of, "If a character says something little, maybe I can connect the dots to something bigger."
Originally, Juice Mare's backstory meant nothing when I wrote it. It was mostly there to show how crazy she was. Upon rereading it, I noticed certain details that'd make for a more interesting character dynamic. Her mom's depression and career choice, her dad's death, the fact that he was a technician and the implication that his brain was artificially uploaded into a mech suit, etc. All this came together in a way where I felt compelled to dig deeper into her character and explore her in a way where her motives actually start to make sense.
I plan on covering more in sequels.
As for Winter Heat being an anti-hero, that's complicated. I heavily implied that Pink Scorch is basically her own consciences. Both Winter and Claire have to work in tandem so that the form doesn’t break, and that means following through on the form's compulsions.
Winter's unwillingness to be a super hero comes from the simple fact that super hero work is stressful. Look at most Spider-Man comics. Winter is in her early twenties and is struggling to figure things out, and dedicating herself to super hero work wouldn't give her time for that. She only does it when she feels obligated (Like how she happened to cross paths with Juice Mare) to or just when she's bored.
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Well I think you've done amazing, I caught onto them but I wasn't thinking of them particularly during it. I retract my complaints
Please tell me Juice Mare gets to have a happy ending tho-
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I'm not sure. I've had ideas on how it will end with her, but it all depends on how much of it is built up naturally. I do want to explore Pulp in her own dedicated story tho.
The bat is a cunt
I love the bat cunt
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It's because you can't fuck her.
I'm getting real 2000's Raven vibes from Stella, if Raven had flat up given up on humanity, and just wanted to end them all.
She's cute, and I want to pet her.
How is this a thriller?
It's still strange that she's now the protagonist of the story. Well... she always is, just... her villains are stealing her spotlight.
I kinda like these slices of life
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It's not, that's why it's a bonus chapter.
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Yeah, I had it in mind to really start developing Winter in the sequel. My plan is to make her more and more interesting as the story moves along.
That's good, Why don't you have more views?
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Idk, I think it's a culmination of things. The main criticism I've gotten is that while the story is good, it's not addictive, and I think that's fair tbh. Another is that it's entirely OC-based, which is normally a gamble. I'm working on the sequel rn, so hopefully it'll garner more traction.
Huzzah! A update!
I gotta wonder what year this was that wrecking computer parts was enough to "kill the franchise" though.😰
Understandable. Not entirely fair given it's quality, but understandable.🤷
Really?
I've enjoyed it so far.
What do you think is the problem?🤔
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2004.
The flow between action segments. The story is all action, and keeps going and going without giving the reader room to breathe.
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I'm just trying to figure out if your Equestria has a different definition of "franchise".
Usually it means having a studio with some clout behind it, but this feels much more like a shoestring budget.
Then again, I was never particular good with keeping up with slang, so maybe I missed something.🤷
Fair enough, I guess.
Although for me, that's undeniably part of the draw.
I love stories that are more action oriented, like 2003's Batman.
And on this site, far too often, what comes "in between" seems to be some variation of text book "odd couple" romance number 532.
So I'm really tired of most people's interpretation of "room to breath".
The images are going "upstream reported 404 not found"
Looks like all of the images are broken. Really fun story by the way, enjoying every second lol
Lmao love the sergeant
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I think it's a sourcing issue. I'll see about fixing them.
Good to get further context for Winter, and a thrilling glimpse at the casual madness that is life in Maretropolis. Thank you for this.
My Little Reviews & Feedback
reviewed in 2023.