- Member Since 10th Feb, 2014
- offline last seen 22 minutes ago
Muggonny
Use words wisly, for they are limited ~ Legacy [02:10]
Muggonny
Joined 10th Feb, 2014 ·
Offline
Sequels2
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This is so ridiculously randomly funny I think it needs a random tag.
On point though:
The ending is good. Crazy, but good. It adds an extra layer to the story, and it made me laugh.
Stewie Griffin. Where's the "Damn you vile woman!" spiel? Would have been brilliant coming out of Twilight's mouth. Or mind in this case..
I think all babies are like that. As a father to a recently turned two-year-old I can attest to this attitude.
This is how all babies are. It is scientific fact.
Truly the destroyer of worlds.
And this is why my baby brother eats normal food.
Oh, now I understand!
Babies are cats.
Sequel. Let someone find the book or something.
Looks like you got rid of your writer's block.
6465140 After nearly two years...
6463666 I had the same thought. It would've been interesting to see.
6465018
I donet now wat u meen.
6464592 Maybe older Twilight comes across it!
6463687 Congratulations! I should probably be feeling sorry for you actually.
6465147
Lol, well, I'm glad you're back!
nice
fear me foe I'm In diapers!
wait foe me. . . .
pre09.deviantart.net/6388/th/pre/i/2015/268/1/2/spike_2_by_hillbe-d9awxnr.jpg
Okay, so writing "garbage" is all well and good, but written garbage needs to be proofread before being published. There are more than a dozen grammatical errors and incorrect word choices in these 1.5k words that I picked up solely from a casual read, half of which I suspect would show up on word/google docs/whatever spell and grammar checkers.
It's a shame, too, because this was a really fun fic--I would have really really enjoyed a more polished version of it--and it was made harder to enjoy by the easily fixed errors.
Also it needs to be said: Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All!
6477531 I'd like to see those dozens of grammar errors first.
6477551
Oh okay. Sorry if I came off as antagonistic, by the way (and sorry if you actually did proofread this and just missed the errors, I kinda forget sometimes that it's hard to pick up on your own errors). I just re-read my comment and it's more strongly worded than I meant!
Is this supposed to be "at last" or "alas"
This doesn't follow the rule If someone is being addressed in dialogue, a comma should appear before their name.
This tense changes tense halfway through.
You can't comprehend "on" anything. On is the wrong preposition here (you don't actually need a preposition in that place anyway).
Grasps. I grasp, she grasps.
Are you writing this in present tense, or past tense? You started off in present, and it's slowly devolved into a mix of the two. This error's everywhere, so if you're the kind of person who puts importance on me verifying my claim of "at least a dozen" then you can count this as four or five (though it's more than four or five tense errors I could find).
You can't... make refugee. You can take refuge in, or make a home out of.
Again, addressing this sentence to "pink giant mare" requires a comma before it.
'Tis is a contraction of "it is." Thus "'Tis the day" or "This be the day" is what you want.
Thy's is not a word, and never has been. Writing thy's is like writing your's, in that you're adding extraneous letters and apostrophes to a word that already means what you want. Thy means your. If you want "yours," that's thine.
6479867
Thy, thee, and thou
are words. However, it is archaic.Edit;
Never mind. I read it wrong.
...All I can think of:
Hey! I'm from the Goodfic Bin, and have reviewed this fic on page six of the self submissions thread.
While I believe the 'Slice of Life' is 'aight for a one-shot fic, I felt that the comedy was a bit lacklustre, and there are a few errors to fix (Stone_Mason has a decent list of them in the comments!), so for now, this fic has been Rejected.
6704777 It's a bit late to be telling me this so I don't really mind to much. Thanks.
What a beautiful cover art
By the way, the cover art from Thy Little Filly Twi' is a cropped version of this photo:
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT9C9pElJffCc--Wd9ZkM16r1vQuAYDDJGWJpXn5TG-FcFV4IX8gw
I like it very much i Love the comedy. Keep Being awesom
awesome read so far, excited to see the sequel
This is brilliantly random.
Now I know why babies act like that.
Will you be doing a similar story with Shining Armor?
7836128 Turn him into an evil foal and have him fight a horrid beast? No. But he will be in the upcoming sequel!
This feels like a villain origin story with the voice she has.