Pink Scorch

by Muggonny

BONUS #2

Five cards, one opponent, life or death. This game was everything.

Winter Heat thought hard. She thought and she thought, to the point that Claire, her best friend who happened to be an ultra-powerful demon sprite capable of providing her with supernatural powers borne from the magic of Tartarus, was worried if she’d pop a vessel.

“Try not to think too hard,” she said, but chuckled. “Only think about what you’ll lose.”

Her soul. She’d lose her soul. This card game was everything.

Her eyebrow quivered. Scanning every card for the forth time, she muttered, “Got any… threes?”

Silence.

Her heart thumped.

Claire was incapable of displaying emotion, however not so incapable of experiencing it. Winter could practically hear the enthusiasm radiating off her. Then came the words that she had both predicted and dreaded

“Go fish.”

“Flippin’ flack fuck!” Winter shouted.

She drew a card from the top of the deck, heart pounding, breath caught in her throat. She hesitated a moment, then brought it up to her face. Her breath released. It wasn’t the card she needed.

“Got any twos?” Claire responded immediately, referring to the only card in her claw.

Winter sighed, ears drooping in defeat, and held the card out.

“Huzzah!” Claire shouted before opening her mouth and sucking the cards into a swirling vortex. She burped, a plume of flame coming out of her mouth as she did. “And now your soul.”

Defeated and humiliated, Winter reached under the counter and grabbed a half-pint of Rocky Road ice cream, handing it off to Claire. It was also sucked into the swirling vortex, carton and all.

“You’re an animal,” Winter said.

“We’re all animals, it’s just the matter that I don’t hide the fact. Want to play another round?”

“I’m pretty sure you ate half the deck already. I don’t think we have an even number of cards to finish the next match.”

Claire pointed down at the deck, hovering over it. “So are you going to eat that?”

Winter flicked her hoof in the demon sprite’s direction. “Go for it.”

Claire unhinged her jaw and sucked the remaining cards in.

Winter groaned, scanning the store for something to do. “Ugh, most of my work is already done, and we’ve been playing cards for two hours. There has to be something to do.”

“Why not stare at the colorfully bright device you adore so much?”

“Bruh, my phone is dead and all I’ll do with it anyways is scroll through videos on Clip-Clop. I already have the attention span of a dog, why would I want to ruin it more?”

Claire dove behind the counter and came back up with a remote in her claw. “TV?”

“Meh,” Winter took the remote and hit the power button with her other hoof. A box TV at the other end of the counter flicked on. It was suppose to be there for shoppers standing in line so that they casually had something to glance at, but Winter liked to use it to fill her melodrama niche.

A mare screamed.

“It’s a kaiju!”

A giant tortoise the size of five Manehatten blocks crawled onto the beach. Very slowly.

The city was in mayhem.

Helicopters flew through the sky. A gatling gun rolled out of one and opened fired on the tortoise, every bullet bouncing off. The tortoise lifted its head and opened its mouth, sending out a bright blue energy blast.

The helicopter exploded, the rest scattering.

Inside of a military base, a sergeant tore his headset off and threw it to the ground.

“Hey, that was twenty-eight bits!” Background Extra #12 said.
“Bring me another headset!”

“You’ve already gone through eight, Sarg!”

The sergeant shot him a fuming look. “I’ll go through the whole damn supply before I let that thing destory MY city!” He looked back at the computer monitor.

“But we only have twelve!”

“Then order more!”

“It's a two day delivery and we don’t even have shipping covered!”

The sergeant swiped the computer monitor off the counter.

“That was two hundred!”

“Damn it to Tarturaus, send in Killer Blutterfly!”

Killer Blutter descended from the sky and perched on the giant tortois’s back. Very menacingly.

Winter changed the channel.

“Hey, I was getting into that.” Claire said.

“Seen it,” Winter said. “It was a major box office disaster and killed the franchise. Most of the budget went towards headsets and computers because the sergeant guy was breaking them every take. It wasn’t even in the script, he was method acting. He only appears for those thirty seconds!”

Author's Note:

This was a scrapped scene from Pink Scorch #2. I initially meant to post it as a blog but decided, "Eh, screw it. Update the story so people know there's more on the way."

Comments

[Starlight Nova]

How is this a thriller?

[Screw]

It's still strange that she's now the protagonist of the story. Well... she always is, just... her villains are stealing her spotlight.

I kinda like these slices of life

[Muggonny]

11830690
It's not, that's why it's a bonus chapter.

11830786
Yeah, I had it in mind to really start developing Winter in the sequel. My plan is to make her more and more interesting as the story moves along.

[Muggonny]

11832641
Idk, I think it's a culmination of things. The main criticism I've gotten is that while the story is good, it's not addictive, and I think that's fair tbh. Another is that it's entirely OC-based, which is normally a gamble. I'm working on the sequel rn, so hopefully it'll garner more traction.

[Wild Stallion]

Huzzah! A update!

I gotta wonder what year this was that wrecking computer parts was enough to "kill the franchise" though.😰

Another is that it's entirely OC-based, which is normally a gamble.

Understandable. Not entirely fair given it's quality, but understandable.🤷

The main criticism I've gotten is that while the story is good, it's not addictive, and I think that's fair tbh.

Really?

I've enjoyed it so far.

What do you think is the problem?🤔

[Muggonny]

11833488

I gotta wonder what year this was that wrecking computer parts was enough to "kill the franchise" though.😰

2004.

What do you think is the problem?🤔

The flow between action segments. The story is all action, and keeps going and going without giving the reader room to breathe.

[Wild Stallion]

11836359

2004.

I'm just trying to figure out if your Equestria has a different definition of "franchise".

Usually it means having a studio with some clout behind it, but this feels much more like a shoestring budget.

Then again, I was never particular good with keeping up with slang, so maybe I missed something.🤷

The story is all action, and keeps going and going without giving the reader room to breathe.

Fair enough, I guess.

Although for me, that's undeniably part of the draw.

I love stories that are more action oriented, like 2003's Batman.

And on this site, far too often, what comes "in between" seems to be some variation of text book "odd couple" romance number 532.

So I'm really tired of most people's interpretation of "room to breath".

[Kek lel]

Lmao love the sergeant

[Muggonny]

11847363
11847801
I think it's a sourcing issue. I'll see about fixing them.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Good to get further context for Winter, and a thrilling glimpse at the casual madness that is life in Maretropolis. Thank you for this.

[Flora Blossom]

My Little Reviews & Feedback

reviewed in 2023.