TPink Scorch

• MLP: FiM
• Adventure
• Comedy
• Thriller

In the city of Maretropolis, superheros and supervillians aren't that uncommon. In fact, it's expected of the average resident to encounter some super-powered maniac at least once per month. Many of these villains have their reasons, but some...

• Violence
• Profanity
• Alt. Universe
• OC
• Power Ponies

Muggonny · 21k words  ·  51  2 · 828 views

Review: Pink Scorch

Tags: Violence, profanity, Advenutre, comedy, thriller, Alternate Universe

Summary:  Power rangers fiction!!!!

Review:  It’s pretty good the background story for an oc it pretty great.  Good job…  I’m inspired. Everything looks alright to me; (grammar, flow, etc…)

Detailed Line
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Pink Scorch... try not to use full-cap sentences... hurts my eyes sometimes.... The color text depends on if you don't have it on night mode.... it can be annoying... but if you have it on night mode it pretty much pops out pretty well...

Epilogue l... nothing is wrong

Epilogue ll there are some caps but they seem fine.

Epilogue lll I pretty much doubt that using the 3D model for pictures for the story is way off... I mean you could have drawn it... or someone else to be the artist... But using the 3D model in your story kind of threw me off a lot... was the pictures always the same background? I mean there are so many things that could go wrong with that part. it's just best to describe the picture.... (imagination)
However, if you did have an artist do those 5 pictures it might have been different.

I give this an 8/10… Things that I still wish were more characters in the story.

7913393
Uhhh, I'm happy my story got reviewed, but I was kinda hoping for a more detailed review. XD

7923090

ok.... one moment...-

7923098
Okay!

7913393
On EP 3, the 3D images are jokes. The joke is that they used Pony Creator to recreate the look of this mare they weren't able to get pictures of. It's not your fault if you don't get it. I had the feeling the joke would wither be "You'd get it or you don't."

And while I appreciate the elaboration, I was hoping you'd touch on "more characters I'm the story" as that seems to be your main critique. Otherwise, thanks a bunch!

7923112

The only thing I can say about the characters is that they all had some character development. Nothing like deep lore on them. Like how they were born... or how they acted in school or learning ish. That kind of character development... Maybe you already have a story on that or maybe you thinking of the future or something??? They all fit the story... that's what truly matters. The nudity joke is pretty funny... But I will not say it here since it's a spoiler...

7923311
This story was meant to just introduce the characters and the fundamental structure the series will follow, hence the epilogues. Next thing I'm writing goes into more depth.

And I like the nudity joke too because it came about when I was writing and I was like, "Wait why does she have to wait outside?"

7923447

well, g4 did something similar pretty much... I think it was in season 1.