• Member Since 4th May, 2013
  • offline last seen 56 minutes ago

Estee


On the Sliding Scale Of Cynicism Vs. Idealism, I like to think of myself as being idyllically cynical. (Patreon, Ko-Fi.)

Comments ( 81 )

Author's Very Public Note: Yes, they're real.

Yes, every newborn equine has them.

Yes, you can find multiple examples with a quick search.

Yes, some of them look much worse than the above.

No, I am not changing the cover art.

You'll live.

But you may not enjoy it.

Eventually, when she had reached the kind of rare moment of perfect peace and clarity which could only exist when the vomiting stopped, Rainbow would bitterly consider that none of it had been her fault.

This can't be the first time Rainbow has thought that. This probably will be the first time unrelated to partying.

Rarity probably never thought that of all of her friends, it would be Fluttershy who finally broke her.

But then, underestimating Fluttershy is kind of what ponies do, isn't it?

Life finds a way.

It's usually gross.

You didn’t get into the wing caps that allow a flying mammal to survive a vaginal birth (and that Snowflake lacked), I’m assuming they’re even weirder? I wonder how bats do it with their super-slender finger bones..? Horned mammals have plenty of time to develop those, infants have a smooth little ‘horn bud’ that is no trouble.
Rarity exclaiming over perfect little foal hooves was very on point too, they are kinda kissable!

11542654
I Googled "horse hoof cap removed" instead, and i got something I honestly think is worse...
I consider myself a pretty solid person for gore and what-not... but for some reason... that is going to haunt me...

Like a red and bloody reese's peanut butter cup with little bloody hairs on the bottom and white tentacle-like fibers on the top...

11542654
I just saw them. Honestly with the mature rating I was expecting more tentacles in the story. Oh well.

it's what you do with the placenta that's a bit icky (you have to be sure it's intact, so bucket first, then...).

But getting to touch a newborn foal; magic, every single time.

Learned a lot today. Don't think I wanted to. But I did. Thanks Estee

11542654
My favorite part is various horse nomad tribes eating them with cinnamon.

Mmmmmmm.

Comment posted by Changeling404 deleted Mar 30th, 2023

This was hilarious, I'm glad it managed to avoid tripping my squeamishness reaction (I was worried it might) because then I'd have missed out on it all.

I wonder if this is the end of Rarity’s hoof fascination…

…and maybe you're ready to consider a grown-up dragon…

Now she is going to wonder about Kirin biology…

I like this confident and teasing Fluttershy.

"-- that's offensive!"

The funny thing is that it was used as a curse

Posted to
Triptych Continuum Rebooted
Cracfic folder

:rainbowderp:

Mother Nature if effing gross/terrifying. It's why we cut it all down and throw down parking lots. We know what she's like and don't want any more to do with her than is strictly required.

"...I know!" Fluttershy declared with open relief. "I didn't even get to tell them about the species which eat their own placentas!"

For some reason, this made me vaguely recall some story about ponies getting into the fad of eating placentas. I have no idea if that was an actual story or if it's just my brain mixing up ponies with an actual article of people doing this in real life. :rainbowderp:

Because you know how pony foals can kick a little, before they're born? Sometimes hatchlings breathe fire. In the shell.

Incidentally, each breath of fire increases pressure within the egg. Ponies are advised to stay clear of hatching eggs, to avoid getting peppered with shrapnel and boiling-temperature amniotic fluid. :moustache: :twilightoops:

11542752
It's going to be a few years at this point before they encounter kirin, and probably longer before they consider where kirin came from.

Rarity will probably think about it a bit too much and end up avoiding Spike.

Rainbow would bitterly consider that none of it had been her fault. It was far easier to blame everypony else.

Old time movie actress Gracie Allen part of Burns & Allen (with husband George Burns). She typically played an Utterly Clueless Dumb Blonde
Gracie (after typical miscommunication) "I'm sorry you didn't understand me."

Victim "I'm sorry you were ever born!"

Gracie "Well, if you're very sorry then I forgive you." Pause "But, that wasn't your fault." VERY confused "Was it?"

Scene flip, George comes by. Victim is pounding his head on the wall. "Oh, I see you've met Gracie. Do you know which way she went?"

:rainbowderp:

Y'all gotta read about how hyenas give birth. Long story short. female hyenas have a half a foot long clitoris that they must give birth THROUGH that gets torn open in half during birthing. What makes this even worse is that hyenas give birth to one of the largest cubs among carnivores. Made even more worse in that hyenas give birth to litters of 2-3

Ew.

Anyway, it’s interesting that not one of them really tried to spare the others from the pictures.

Gazer #24 · Mar 30th, 2023 · · 1 ·

Estee, please stop using your amazing writing talent to torture people.

Well.

...hnh

That picture's gonna stay with me for a while...

Oddly, the existence of Fabio Sparklemane makes this both worse and better.

11542787
Of course. Friends always show friends the gross picture. That’s why they’re friends.

They had to give Applejack credit. She'd held out all the way to Color Close-Up Photo 32-R.

Wait a minute. Doesn't AJ help at lambing time?

:applejackconfused:

Well...that explains why Rarity is an old spinster in the finale.:pinkiecrazy:

Another fun Read. I love these little world building things you make:

Also, Typo Maybe:

Twilight and Rarity finally cornered her within the privacy of an alley, two blocks away from the bakery.

I think this is supposed to be Twilight and Rainbow Cornering Rarity.

Nature can be beautiful, vicious, and gross.

I'm honestly surprised that so many of the girls didn't know much about childbirth. It makes sense for RD and Pinkie since Rainbow doesn't have the patience for schooling and Pinkie was raised Amish, but Twilight is a scholar and Applejack grew up around livestock.

I like that Spike is very knowledgeable about own biology. He's surrounded by ponies and so it would be good for him to know the details since others might not know.

It was cute that he went into a lecture like Twilight would, definitely inherited.

11542804

Cows and Sheep are intelligent enough to talk (even if they're kept in barns but that's a discussion for a different day) so my guess is that they can effectively midwife for eachother.

I would have figured that Applejack would have known, she does have tenets. Still this probably just killed any chance of four of the bearers from having kids.

11542836
Well I mean, the fact that this information is actively being kept away from them is literally the point of the story. That's why they don't know, because deliberate efforts are undertaken to ensure that they don't.

That picture ... I never needed to see that :pinkiesick:

Dan
Dan #34 · Mar 30th, 2023 · · 6 ·

Dragons have cloacas. Not vaginal muscles. I'm fine with fan art that shows them with boobs and navels and a second hole for poop (auxiliary?); I'm sure there's some evolutionary explanation for those, but I will not accept them having cooters.

Speaking of poop, I've often wondered if dragons could produce tamahagane or wootz with the right diet, or if it's just simple slag.

And I wonder if batponies/threstals have to relieve themselves a lot more than other ponies, due to turbocharged kidneys that prevent blood urea and nitrogen buildup. Since we all know Kirins produce beer, I wonder if a kirin and threstal had offspring, it would be a nice, rich Guinness with high gravity and iron-y mineral content. At any rate, with their kidneys, cute night guard mares can probably outdrink the stoutest grizzled earth pony guard veteran. Durian liqueur is a thing, though they've gotten in trouble for calling it whiskey, when it clearly isn't a whiskey.

By Faust, I love contemplating fantasy creature biology.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/1/16/213924.png

(Mockingbirb reads story...spoilers omitted.)

Dear internet,
TIL I am a pregnant mare. :twilightsmile:

Great story...but that...cover art...

...I can't...I can't stop looking at it...

...it's in my head...IT'S IN MY HEAD...IT'S IN MY HEAD!!!

11542654
I have incidentally learned a thing about a thing I never put thought to. I thank you for teaching in such an amusingly fascinating way. Fun read.

Twilight and Rarity finally cornered her within the privacy of an alley, two blocks away from the bakery.

I think this should be Rainbow

11542787
And just a reminder, you aren't allowed to draw whatever foal hooves are called. Ever. :fluttercry:

Insert reading rainbow here.

Ok that was fun. Seriously though had no idea that was a thing.

Herd mentality in sapients is rarely pretty. I can think of at least one Pegasus who can vouch for that::derpyderp2:

11542787
Misery loves company, and sometimes you've just gotta traumatise your mates.

Fluttershy is brutal! Love her.:yay::heart:
Really liked season 1 and 2.
Great job!:moustache: Spike knowledge go!

11542681
11542698
Flutters, yes. Flutters always yes! :yay::pinkiecrazy:

Looks like the spines on the inside of a sea turtles throat.

This story is great fun and a very entertaining read!

Though it does beg the question of how, before hospitals, ponykind didn't go extinct...

11543027

Midwives, midwives and "mares's mysteries" or however that's supposed to go. It'd be the the expectant mother, the midwife, the mare's mother most like, and maybe some aunts/cousins/sisters who have had children as applicable. Everyone else gets chivvied out of the room.

11543053
There is an even simpler answer. Physically harsher lives of early pony herds weeding out the more squeamish sensibilities, together with everyone gathering to witness the miracle of birth and greet the newcomer.

Login or register to comment