• Member Since 30th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

ghost buster


Just a long time Brony consumer, finally producing

Comments ( 103 )

Your first story being a novel-length release is impressive. Kudos. Hope to see more from you. :twilightsmile:

11232054
Yeah bro, this got a little out of hand ngl.
I think the best length for a story+clopfic is 30k words. I was originally inspired by the famous Lyra's Confession clopfic by Puss Puss, as the perfect clopfic.

My next story I think will be TempestXHuman. Trying to put some content out for charaters that are sorely lacking.
Any other Ideas on good characters to write about? I was thinking maybe Vapor Trail, Rain Shine, Marble pie, or Moondancer?

Ghost Buster

I feel like you meant to put Manticore and put minotaur

The engineer anon stuff almost makes it sound like a Technology Isn't Magic story. Love the light trolling with the invention of the microwave (gasp!)

The (first) picture says cute mare, but the writing says vicious landlord. Scary.

Damn, what a twist. I've never seen Anon being the cute sleeping creature on the sofa before.

liking this so far! And the images are adorable!

poor sass

11232236

Nah, I made it a Minotaur so she'd have a reason to be scared of Anon, and then strangly attracted to him. I didn't end up elaborating on it much in the story, but it's still there depending on how far you want to read into her motivations

11232246
Currently Reading a Fic called Slipstream, which I am enjoying that has a similar concept. Anon is is going to have an angry Griffon on his hands when he's been to busy fucking to meet his deadlines


11232300
Thanks!


11232305
The Cutest thing on this God forsaken site for sure!


11232329
Thanks! they were a free comission from years ago. I think they are pretty decent for that. I think the artist has been afk for years, but I'll try and find if they still have a DA page.

11232346
Hope is not lost yet! Anon is about to do his thing!

This chapter felt a little rushed for them to have a chance to meet Anon but ultimately really great so far.

“Far off land is a way of putting it.” There was an imperceptible strain in his voice. I come from a different world, or maybe the same world in a different universe, I don't know. The point is, I am the only human you will ever see.”

You're missing the beginning quotation marks here.

Are you getting tired? He said.

And both of them here. Also instead of said that should be asked.

Sorry, it's a habit I've gained to point stuff like this out when reading. Especially since I wish people did this with my own stories so I could fix these things.

Anon supposed she was much more forgiving than she could have been, but there was a certain disinterest there, like an unenthusiastic waiter taking an order for a sandwich.

Huh, what's funny is that this is a bit of a break from the usual HiE pattern. It feels like most of the time, the human protagonist will elicit a strong reaction of some sort from the princesses, whether becoming their bestest friend immediately or becoming irrationally afraid of him because he is different (or they are just completely absent in the first place). Not as many where they are outright uninterested and treat the limited interactions with the human as something mundane and routine. Narrative-wise it makes sense, you want to acknowledge that he met the rulers at least once and needed some initial assistance to establish himself, but nevertheless don't want the diarchs to play a significant role in the story as they inevitably would if they had any personal interest (positive or negative) in the protagonist's life. But on the other hand, the princesses are usually portrayed as being very friendly and interested in anything new or unusual (or so xenophobic that they wouldn't allow an alien to have free reign to go and do as he pleases), so this does come across as a little odd for them.

11232442
Thanks, Theyre fixed.
I haven't had a proof reader so there is going to be a few errors. I have spent much time combing them out though, so I'm hoping it is still readable

11232483
HIE fics are known for their originality!

11232483
Humans have canonically interacted with ponies before. Previous generations, though. Ancient history.

The kind of history only an alicorn might know. Makes for a story hook that many find difficult to resist.

Equally plausible that it is so ancient that nobody at all remembers, as suggested by the reaction of the ruler in this story. I'm looking forward to seeing how things turn out.

Haha, sounds like you just turn into a guy for a few days!

Damn right!

I think this is my favorate chapter. No Clop, but the tension just keeps rising

11232483
Does that include "converted" humans?

I can think about of few unique approaches, like Goldfur's

I was looking for Sassy Saddles stories a few months ago, shame how few there are, and now this gets dumped all at once? Oh my stars and garters what a treat. Was it hidden until recently as the feature even though the publish date was 24th is odd

11232246
Heh, yeah, because microwave ovens had saw exactly this history. Before Radar Range kitchen oven was introduced, they were a diner curiosity.

I do not agree with opinion that they are lazy. Yes, there are cheap ovens which can't do much but heat food. But add rotating stand, convector and grill heater - and you get pretty handy tool to make some more complex stuff.

“It should be,” Rarity said glumly. “But my sowing machine. It’s broken.”

sewing? Sowing machine gives me odd ideas...

11232236
Yeah, was thinking that too. Minotaurs are sapient here in Equestria.

Unless it was some sort of feral Minotaur. . .

Damn, this is a real pageturner, I can't stop reading this,10/10 best fic I've read in a long time.

Ok, full disclosure, I'm a dirty pervert and this is my favorite chapter so far.

“I was attacked by a beast known as a minotaur. He caught me and tried to eat me. I managed to escape, but not uninjured.” She looked at her body, however it was still covered by a dirty black dress.

I thought minotaurs were people in mlp, did you mean 'manticore'?

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11232605
I'm actually thinking about a fic where the present day is just eons in the past, and equestria is just million of years in the future. Ponies have evolved from normal modern day ponies over time.
Therefore ponies have a primal fear of humans, but also have a need to be compliant to them and be 'broken in'.
Celestia has heard humans are evil from her parents and tries to kill one when he inexplicably gets teleported forward in time. Luckily she uses a magic blast and the human is not affected by magic.
This really scares Celestia, and she has to learn to trust someone, who she does not have power over. Something she has not done in a long time.
And then they fuck...
I think this idea is actually in the depths of my idea list somewhere. I'll dig it out after i've done a TempestXHuman and a StarlightXHuman fic

11232997
It's a bit of a niche, but it's still cute even if you're not really into it. It's one of my favorite chapters too

11232782
I want to write about Charaters that should have more content. That's why my next fics will be TempestXHuman and a StarlightXHuman.
Because it was my first story, it had to be read and approved by the moderators, and being long and clopy it took a while... If submititng a long story, I'd recomend submitting a short E rated story first, then Publishing the long clop after auto approval is enabled.

11232797
Fixed!

11232845
11233062
I made it a Minotaur so she'd have a reason to be scared of Anon, and then strangly attracted to him. I probably should have elaborated on this a bit more, but it's still there depending on how far you want to read into her motivations. I was thinking a Minotaur that whist still sapient, is a brutish tribal being that lives in the dark forest and wanted to eat her

This was surprisingly well done. Im looking forward to more from this Author.

The Monk
“To say that Twilight Sparkle went bugfuck would be like saying the Incredible Hulk had some mild anger management issues.” -DustTraveller

11233166
I look forward to it! The last Starlight fics I got invested in just kinda died out as some do sadly. Also a big fan of Tempest as a character so that also sounds great

What a pleasant surprise six years in the making!
Really enjoyed this story, we'll be following your career with great interest :raritywink:

He words became more and more nonsensical and garbled. They turned into screams which got louder and louder as he pounded away. He could feel her pussy quivering sporadically and secreting juices that overflowed, and dripped onto the bed. Anon knew she was on a knife edge.

Her

Anon had a large grin on his face as he left the fancy Italian restaurant. It was not the sort of place he was normally seen. However, he had been tasked with a special challenge. He strolled down the street eager to get to work. A heavy set griffin with a black moustache and chef’s hat waved him off from the doorway behind him.

Do you see this word that I have marked?

I have a serious question about this. Is there Italy in Equestria? How can there be an Italian restaurant here? Do you understand that this detail violates the perception of this world that you are writing about?

As far as I understand, there will be a lot of such (human details from planet Earth) in this story. And that's really the problem with you as a writer. You should not forget that you are writing a story about another world. And this magical world has its own peculiarities.


To be continued...

Man I kinda wanted to see more.
Like there is no real conclusion to this story. I know its porn and all. But ya made me feel for these characters and such I wanted a bit of an end.
It also went from 0 to 100 real quick on the sex. Which is fine because its porn. Tho I do wanna see a little more DRAMA

Anyways, Still good all in all
~Reggie

11233485
Thanks, Fixed

11233753
It's just a short descriptor to get a piciture of what the resturant looks like. You as the reader are presumably a human living on earth (I hope), so you know what that looks like. Plus Prance and Germania are Fanon at this point, so there has got to be some Italy equivalent. Although the story is Third person, it is kind of told through the perspective of Anon, and he'd describe it as an Italian restaurant, since he is from earth.

11233754
There is a last chapter coming soon that'll round things up. I have thought about a sequel, but long fics take many hours, and I want to write about other characters first.
Spoilers:
Rarity and Amp do the walk of shame to his workshop to get a morning after pill. Anon, and Flortentine arrive to start work, Sassy is also tagging along. It's awkward but they all open up about their feelings and laugh at joke, like an ending of the show itself. Then an angry chef bursts in and shouts like gordon Ramsey "Wheres my fookin' Microwave!"
Then it'll flash forward a few months. I haven't started writing on this bit yet but I think the Idea will be that they both wake up in eachothers embrace and neither of them want to get up. and they think back to the happiness they've felt over the last few months together.

I do take your point about the drama. Next fics will be improved in this regard. Good things seem to happen a little too easily for Anon.

11234133
Anon had a big smile on his face as he left the trendy Griffin restaurant. This was not the place where he was usually seen, but it was the griffin kitchen that was most suitable for human nutrition. When the financial situation was sufficient to afford to indulge in delicious dishes prepared by the best chefs-griffins. Anyway, he definitely wasn't going to eat hay! However, he was given a special task. He strode down the street, eager to get to work as soon as possible. A stocky griffin with a black mustache and a chef's hat waved at him with a clawed paw from the doorway behind him, and wished a good day to one of the most unusual customers of this restaurant.

Maybe it would be better this way? I still think that even if you write a porn story, you should not forget about the world building either.

The best example is "Xenophilia".

Dan

Are there any Sassy Saddles dakimakura designs?

I'd like to return the transdimentional feels.

11232193
You think I'm going to publish a second story?:raritywink:

In all seriousness I think 20K words is good for a well fleshed out clopfic. 10k of story, 10k of sex

11234238
The man himself! I love your longer fics!

I've voted for Spitfire on the Deep Tissue Massage fic.
I may have to take matters into my own hands for more Spitfire x Human content

11234396

I've voted for Spitfire on the Deep Tissue Massage fic.

Yes, I saw that. Good luck to your nomination in the voting!

I think, tag "porn" does disservice to this.

Yeah, a lot of erotic content done quite tastefully. But not only. Would it have more fluff to connect parts, it could become not a bad novel. Five characters with unique background and one accident changed their lives in chain reaction.

What could be:

1. Give Anon a name and face, make him more individualized. Original idea of green question face was self-insert and second person story (which I fervently hate to try and read), where reader associates themselves with him. He is already unique snowflake here, that won't happen.

2. A little more "show, not tell". Anon's story is quite interesting. Sassy apparently got lots of hidden luggage

3. Why Luna did what she did? How she knew? What would be next Luna's move?

It could be a spin-off.

To be honest, for a first story.. very good.

But you did write before, right? Or you had a very good mentor and academic practice.

Irish uhhhh? But what exactly is irish in the context of the equestria world mmmm? Is gen 1 canon here did Megan shared the culture? Mmmm

I don't think they used a condom

11233753
It's a restaurant specialized in the cuisine of an old Griffin nation called Grand Italonia, but anon doesn't know that. To him, pasta and tomatoes = Italian.

>‘Why was she afraid of him?’ He thought.

He did not think that. He most likely thought "Is she afraid of me? I wonder why..."

11234706
For me porn has to have a story. Hence why we are all here instead of on Derpibooru.
I get what your're saying but by weight about half the story is sexual, so a think the porn tag is needed.

I think most stories with Humans in them are meant to be self insert on some level. As you said the author has a choice bettween Second Person, Anon, Or an original character with a name. e.g. Chris.
Second person sucks, and I went with Anon over a new character because he's familar, and it's kind of understood that he can be taken as a self insert for the reader, or not depending on how much they associate with the character. If the charcter is a photographer for example, but you don't like photography, It can be difficult to feel in tune with him. However, if Anon likes photography you can just skip over that and insert yourself back when he is doing something that you associate with. Like fucking.

I'm trying to get better with 'show not tell'. I don't think it's too bad here but it's definitely a skill that takes time.

Luna does need to get some scarce Human D at some point. Luckily Sassy is not opposed to sharing!

But you did write before, right? Or you had a very good mentor and academic practice.

Nope, this is the first story I've ever written. I started it to get better at my written English. I could speak it well, but my I knew my college assignments were suffering form shit language, even though I was doing Engineering (Anon is my self-insert lol).

Plus I've spent a LOT of time editing grammar and wording. Total editing time on the word document comes to 667 hours in total!
I should have walked before running, but I like the result I'll write 20k words 'clop with story' fics now I think...

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