Just another University-edicated fanfiction writer who prefers the cheers and laughter of ponies to madness and sorrow.
Luna must engage in a traditional activity. Normally, she would not object. She knows from traditions, and embraces nearly all the oldest ones, from diction to the Royal Canterlotian Voice. But this galls her. She must answer suitors, the finest of the nobles seeking her hoof in marriage, while she has other ideas entirely. To that end, she unleashes the most venemous and caustic comments her ancient tongue can muster.
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Huh-whu?
.....My brain...
And I'm not really getting the Zecora and Applebloom thing.
Reading this story made my head hurt.
But it was very cool, nonetheless.
I just wish it hadn't been that heavily laded. It distracted me from the overall flow of the story, and having to look at the references those many times made me feel like I was reading a history book instead of a story.
History books are really cool, but only when you have the intention to read them.
Even so, you made something really cool here.
Reading this story made my head hurt.
But it was very cool, nonetheless.
I just wish it hadn't been that heavily laded. It distracted me from the overall flow of the story, and having to look at the references those many times made me feel like I was reading a history book instead of a story.
History books are really cool, but only when you have the intention to read them.
Even so, you made something really cool here.
83907
Heh. Personal ship. Check out "Hatred would be better." As for what Zecora did, that's in "The Nightwatch" chapter three.
Personally, while I'm amused at the need to footnote your stories, I think it works brilliantly for Luna, particularly in a mood like this. She *does* talk archaically, and peppering her speech with thorns and jibes that take advantage of such makes perfect sense.
85959
Thank you for understanding. I thought it would be appropriate. I mean, some of that Elizabethan drama is awesomely bawdy.
Oh hay yes! Midsummer Night's Dreamm and Much Ado About Nothing in particular would sound like softcore porn if properly translated!
While it can be a little hard to read at times, with all the context I'd hope even those without enough knowledge of the language of the times could at least get the gist, if not all the humor. Luna was just tearing them apart, this might be my favorite yet (just two more left now). I really appreciate well done royalty after learning all the ins and outs through the Wheel of Time.
86963
Indeed Shrinky, indeed.
117547
Thank you, thank you. It was made intentionally obscure because the more obscure the more "innocent" it sounds, even if it's bawdy and casutic.
Definitely interesting, but I honestly think it'll be in your service if you post an alternate version of this that uses Luna's 'canon' archaic speak, because it's very difficult to completely understand this even with footnotes. Especially since an accurate portrayal of Luna is hard to find and even more difficult to pull off, considering the 'Woona fallout', and yours is pretty good, to be honest.
Old skool kool Luna, serious old skool.
307425
Indeed. Dissin' ponies like Shakespeare.
309156
As a further compliment, plot and dialouge message aside, the sheer research/translation must have taken you FOREVER!
309635
I was taking an Elizabethan drama class at the time. I had a ready set of notes and plenty of research material. Most of what she says came out of variations/themes from "The Shoemaker's Holiday" by Dekker and "The Malcontent" by Marston. Fun times, as long as you have glosses and notes.
309651 Oppertunism at its most evidently awesome.
309682
As soon as I saw these plays, I knew I had to craft Luna in my own bawdy image ^.^
You are truly a pony after my own heart. I find myself lucky in that I learned of Shakespeare and co before school and so was able to develop more appreciation for it than I might otherwise have and it's nice to know my knowledge and memory hasn't atrophied as much as I might've thought.
I will agree the footnotes did throw me a bit until i copied them into a side window so I wasn't forever scrolling up and down and they suit Luna beautifully. I definitely enjoyed her back and forths and would love to see more of this if you find yourself so inclined.
Some of the ponies weren't as well described as I might have liked (I found it difficult to fix and image of them in my head but that's mostly just me) and Luna in a lot of it seemed to give the impression of simply sitting fairly immobile rather than shifting or leaning or using any body language and i wasn't certain if that was intentional or not.
In summary more please!
469613
Given I took most of my inspiration from plays, the relative lack of motion was mostly intentional.
Well, if you read the other works I have erred in the other direction and left off notes altogether, hoping the readers pick up on the meaning.
*grins and claps* I confess I felt it was also rather appropos since she is supposed to be polite and dignified and the like.
I'm starting to poke through your other works i freely admit though it may take me a little bit. I definitely agree with having footnotes rather than leaving them off. I just fine the easiest was what i mentioned doing.
Man, that was... Venemous.
It's amazing how much of language has been lost, and how much more... Creative people were in tearing others apart in old times.
Also, I must say I loved the reference to the Trollestia meme. Veeeeeery clever.
779556
I prefer Trollestia when she has a point behind her joking. Like teaching her little sister how to rebuff those that might actually be really nice.
Yes, people could be VICIOUS back then, it wasn't just an endless string of variations on the F word.
I for one enjoyed it.
1272473
Thank you very much
Much education has evaded my worthless grey-matter.
This was a good read.
I wonder what makes Luna think she is worthy of the perfection she demands.
2400363
She is a living goddess and half of the rulership of a grand and powerful diarchy. She can ask for anything she wants really. She's just lucky she already found it.
2400561
AH HA!
But, if a suitor had said that any of those factors were contributory to the desire to persue her, she would have dismissed them.
Suitor : "I wish to court you because you are a Princess."
Luna : "Begone you staus seeking welp."
2403943
Of course. She's no fool. The suitor is. You don't just SAY, "Oh, hey, you're rich and powerful. Do me!" Bad Apple got to tap that by commisserating with her, being interested in her hobbies, and byt being a genuinely approachable and kind fellow.
2405852
Apparently I am a shitty reader, I didn't pick up on that.
I thought Luna was just being antagonistic because she had been forced to deal with the suitors and wasn't going to choose anypony regardless of how good they were.
2407358
That too. She rebuffs them because she is forced to be there but no one told her she had to be polite. And since she has a lover she has to do all she can to get rid of them. AND they're horrible ponies besides. Look at them. Status seekers, liars, frauds, and a sexually overindulgent mare who is eventually arrested for many different things.
I really, really loved reading this. Victorian/Renaissance Luna is classiest Luna.
So thanks for that.
2422701
I love this Luna a lot. I tend to insert her into a lot of stories just so I can make her say things. It's a lot of fun.
... glorious .... simply glorious! *guffaws*
I especially liked the interactions between Celestia and Luna.
I wonder if that would've worked, even if she'd been advised to act that way. Maybe when faced with a suitor acting like the last one, but any mare or stallion before? ... Nah. I don't see it.
2930146
She embodies the Elements of Harmony like Celestia does, but chooses how she manifests them. Her honesty is tinged with razors and venom then needed to chastise the world and make it better by shame and attention to imperfections.
ZECORA DOESN'T TALK LIKE THAT AAAAAAAAA
*foams at the mouth*
I'm not sure what to make of the whole Zecora/Apple Bloom thing. I don't really want to read the fic where you get in depth with that unless you can promise me that there's no sex with underage fillies involved.
Also, I don't mind footnotes in principal, but the fact that I have to scroll down or use ctrl-f to flip back and forth between the footnotes and the main text, as opposed to clicking on them in Kindle and holding the pages open for physical books, makes it harder to read and diminishes my enjoyment of the story.
782167
*grinds his teeth*
This is just a personal pet peeve of mine, but I truly can't stand it when I hear people yammer on about how things were so much better in the good old days and that there's no potential left in the modern age and sentiments like that (thank you for not making this claim in regards to music, at least). I really wish I could prove you wrong on this point.
3184803
What? I just made her a bit more sophisticated by using formal poetic structures. I think it's a nice touch that adds some class to her.
3188099
I didn't say things were better back then, well, not blanket better. But I appreciated the artistry of the turns of phrase. It's like folks who enjoy classical music or opera. I just appreciate the old artistry.
And yes, the story "Hatred would be better..." is completely clean, there is no foalcon. It's just a romance.
3189342
I can appreciate it, and I suppose she's thoroughly capable of reading poetry, but it touched off my "bad Zecora dialogue" nerve.
Of course, most people do far worse with simple rhymed couplets.
3189558
Then watch out for "Hatred would be better.." She uses several different formal poetic structures, though one instance has justification, as she is trying to impress someone.
Luna is awesome. Also, I need to brush up on my archaic English insults.
4092206
Find a good collection (best found on a College in the bookstore) of Elizabethan/Jacobean drama with both glosses and footnotes. Best (non-Shakespeare) plays for that: The Malcontent, The Shoemaker's Holiday and Volpone.
I reviewed your fic tonight you can find it here
Oh this little gem is glorious. Classical Luna is so fitting... also, the Celestia / Luna interaction comes across as being very family, very believable and easy to picture.
Poisoned razors in the disguise of a slightly over the top pillow fight. *contented sigh*
Luna being a dick to ponies, even if they deserve it, is not my thing. But when the writer seems to know what he/she is doing, I feel compelled to keep going. So I'm at an impasse...
Does it get better or is it like the first two until the end?
It gets more polished, I would say. More focused. Luna is this way because she already has a lover and just can't say so. And Celestia helps, in some sense.
6093397
Quite an amusing story. Olde English Luna is always interesting, and this is certainly a stellar example of it. Requiring a second tab for the footnotes was a bit of a bother, but the payoff was worth it to see such a well done volume of creative slights. A very good read overall.
4094513
One should read that best would pretty much be all non shakespeare plays. He was a hack
9403848
But a hack with good publicity. As you saw, I have my favorites from the era. But, to confess, I actually like "Much ado about nothing" "Twelfth Night" and some of "The Taming of the Shrew." I'd like "Romeo and Juliet" more, it has some good humor, but Romeo is an insufferable dick.