• Member Since 22nd Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Last Friday

Gabriel LaVedier

Just another University-edicated fanfiction writer who prefers the cheers and laughter of ponies to madness and sorrow.



This story is a sequel to The Unsuitable

Princess Luna despises answering suits. It is a tedious task of thankless misery, mostly consisting of greedy nobles quibbling over contracts, love-hunters seeking her hoof, and complaining idiots wanting ironclad judgment. But in one instance, of all the pestilential inanity and miserable horribleness, she finds one pony that wants nothing more than sound advice. And with her personal maid Lime Sherbert, she will deliver it, and more.

Just an excuse to use more of English Renaissance Luna, and to include Fleur, with Lime along for the ride. It might not make sense unless you read my earlier Luna stories.

Now equipped with a side-story: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/24710/Dames-of-the-Tea-Table%3ASilver-Sabbatical

Now with a new cover by the wonderful and generous Chatoyance!

Note: While the story is now done, the idea will continue in other treads in the main story universe.b]

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 145 )

lol Luna is best no doubt. I also wish to partake in Luna's form of 'clubbing'! :trollestia: Sounds fun! :pinkiecrazy:

Bwahahahaha... wonderful. Save a stray few typos, it's hilarious, and I'm looking forward to more. This is going to be FUN!

You have me. Your Elizabethan is sometimes imperfect, but your characters and situations and emotions are not, and you have won me.

Lay on, do!

:heart: Aside from the normal little errors and possible better wordcraft (of which I'll try to help if I get the time later), we have the start of another great story. I love Luna and Lime's paranoia about mentioning Bad, and all the downright dirty things Luna is saying going right over Fleur's head. Waiting for more, the wait will be tough.


Curses. I hate when I miss typos.


It's two issues, really. First is that I'm not an Elizabethan expert I've only taken two courses in Elizabethan and Jacobean drama. Second, I wanted a balance between genuine speech and funny-sounding references. But, now I'm curious. What would you peg as the biggest imperfect lines?


Thank you. Typos are my mortal enemy.

What do you think of my decision to not add glosses/notes to this and leave everything implied?


When Luna misunderstands it's adorable, and maybe a little scary. She has a lot of frustration thanks to her job of answering suits. But at least she can blow off steam sometimes.

I'm really enjoying this and can not wait for the next chapter.:twistnerd:

I wish I hadn't put off reading this for so long. Luna's constant innuendos kill me every time.:rainbowlaugh:

Gabriel LaVedier's Luna is best Luna. This is my most favourite character interpretation of Luna out of everything that I have read. The only thing that would make it perfect for me (though it would be more or less impossible to implement) would be some kind of incorporation of Luna's Nightmare Moon figure/personality as well. (I count them as the same character, not that "Nightmare is a random evil thing that possessed Luna" bullshit)

At this point, I wouldn't be saying anything that I haven't already said before. Bravo, great work, I eagerly await the next instalment of this story arc.


Awww, thank you.

I wasn't really sure how to integrate Nightmare Moon because she's such an odd anomaly. Princess-featured body, with modern speech. It's like she was both aware of the passage of time and was capable of keeping up with the trends in conversation that were happening on Equestria. I mean, it would be funny if there was a snark-talking persona of muted evil inside Luna that came out now and again. But I think at this point that ship has sailed. The closest I can get to modern-talking Luna is coming in the next chapter when she tries to fool folks into thinking she's modern by using slang and casual bits of conversation... from the 20's and 30's.


Hehe. Thank you. I wanted this one to have a bit more meat to it.

Ah, the talent of Luna and a touch of the Royal Canterlot Voice. I almost never get tired of it.

Also... *waves a 'yay Aggie and Swallow!' flag*

I love this story carnally. Please, I beg you, craft more. This... this scenario is just delicious. I devour every crumb.

:facehoof: Not done yet, but you have Lime referred to as dame Sauce early in the story. Also why aren't you capitalizing dame?


That's a bit of an Elizabethan joke. Impudent/audacious characters are sometimes comically referred to as "Sir Sauce", as in, they are acting saucy. The female form of Sir, of course, is Dame. so, Dame Sauce as a bit of amusing chastening.

About the capitalizations... you know, it's the little things that trip me up. always the little things. :facehoof:


Fear not. There are two more parts at least, just as audacious and madcap. Next up: The Dames versus sports! And then, the Dames and... kidnapping? But I'm breaking just a little so I can do work on some Bad Apple stuff, and get down another Gilda and Trixie story. I sort of feel they need some love.


Okay, gotcha.

Now that I was able to finish reading and the site's back up, time for comments. I love how Luna's modern speech is Depression Era, I think it fits just perfectly. I also have to say that I love the inclusion of my favorite background couple, we can always use more Aggie and Swallow. Maybe we can get some more later?:fluttershysad:


Oddly enough, I'm doing another story of griffin and pony love. Gilda and Trixie. I kinda think they need more love.


Going to continue the slap slap kiss? Yay! :yay:

Maybe we could have more cameos.:scootangel:


More like showing off their violent mood swings.

The more I read Luna's Elizabethian speech, the more I want someone to challenge her use of it. Largely because outside of plays and Dragon Warrior I I've discovered in fiction most people who use such flowery speech are often silver-tongued liars. Bad Apple is himself a silver-tongued liar, but in the "cheerful traveling bard" sort of sense. In any case, I have to wonder if she has been challenged on her archaic speech enough that she might change it.

I can see her trying to talk like out of a Western movie, and Bad Apple...instead of being impressed, finding it gut-crackingly funny.


It's sort of her thing. It would be like you suddenly being thrown into the future and being surrounded by centuries of changing verbiage. She gets away with it because she's the princess and eccentricity is not at all unusual. She can get away with it as herself because no one really wants to change it. As seen in "The Unsuitable" it makes for utter hilarity. As Cynthia, she gets away with it because it's even MORE hilarious ^.^

Western talk... Oh now that's good :trollestia:


Yeah but every time she lapses into Latin I want to tell her that dead languages are dead and pretty much are only used for choral pieces for entertainment anymore...or for crafting invented languages, if you pay any attention to J.R.R. Tolkien :twilightsmile:

Yeah, but if Bad Apple's reaction is laughter, I can imagine Luna as being well...rather humiliated by it. It might be a bit of a mood killer, as I see a humiliated Luna reacting with a world class Royal Tantrum, which of course would amuse Celestia. Greatly. :trollestia:


Latin isn't quite as dead in this setting. There are still legitimate usages here and there. And her own usage is as a sub rosa means of communicating something either unflattering or in need of special emphasis. And Tolkien did not use Latin, it was Welsh, just like the rabbit language in Watership Down.

Now you're making Bad Apple sound like a jerk. He's two things: Politically savvy enough to know that angering a Royal is like cuttng off his own head; and socially savvy enough to realize Princess Luna just happens to keep his favorite "tackle" under her tail and behind her teats. So he would not even crack a smile unless she gave some indication he ought to.


Tolkien pulled from a lot of languages and cultures, from old Germanic to Slavic. He even pulled inspiration from old Persian myths and even Greek. He was also a Roman Catholic, so it's not hard to assume he took some Latin in.

You kind of HAVE to be a jackass to pull off the stuff he pulls on people. It's also unrealistic to assume that they wouldn't occasionally get under each other's skin in other ways besides intimately. And would he really have to fear getting his head (or heads) cut off, and not just have her storm out of the room, embarrassed? It sounds as if you're making their relationship based solely on sex, which isn't healthy at all.


I can't remember the trope, but there's a fine tradition of folks whose relationships are intimately based when they are together and all emotional when they're parted. It's a consequence of being unable to see one another regularly. When they're together they use every possible moment.

One more point: No. Not at all. There's a difference between being a jerkass and being clever. Think of his decisions constantly filtered through the phrase: "The right tool for the right job." He is actually a nice guy. But if someone deserves his contemp, he will give it, and plenty of it :moustache:

....what happened to my post? Damn.


Well from my perspective it just seems to me like their relationship is purely physical. Then again, I'm extremely cynical about love and romance, and the fact that I'm listening to Johnny Cash's moodier songs isn't helping :pinkiecrazy:


To think of it, he HAS pissed her off, if inadvertently (And, actually Celestia started it.) In "The Equestrian Resident" Luna finds out, *shock, surprise, gasp, horror* he wasn't a virgin when they made the Beast with Eight Legs the night of the Grand Galloping Gala, and she even has a flash of petulance, thinking of cucking him as some kind of revenge, before Celestia reminds her of his perfect fidelity following the Eight Legs incident.

I suppose my issue is that I tend not to like seeing the royal sisters shipped at all in the kind of stories you write. They seem too far above it, and the Royal Wedding episode reinforced this. Celestia took everything as a detached observer; she was excited for her niece, but thought little beyond that. Luna didn't give a damn at all, which annoyed me to no end. :ajbemused: Especially considering that Night is a time for love.

What happened to Cadance also didn't help matters. I suppose this is why their tryst is in secret, because very bad people with certain abilities could take advantage of a very obvious weakness.

Also, Beast with Eight Legs? I get it, but my mind immediately went to spiders. You need to work on that one. Also, curse you childhood entomology!

Well, given the standard posture, there's no way to get "two backs" out of Pony lovemaking. I suppose, to think of it, it could alos be called "forming the spider" or just "a spidery action." Maybe even get cute with, "a four-eyed spider."


Almost forgot: I get what you're aiming at. But my own personal feeling is that they are not stone. They're flesh and blood (and magic.) They have carnal desires as well as emotional ones. I always kind of pegged them as serially monogamous. Incredibly faithful while their lovers live but not afraid to move on, with good feelings intact, after they die.

Spiders have four pairs of eyes. You'd actually be giving them less eyes in that way. :trollestia: Again, I curse my childhood entomology.

They're flesh and blood, but I can't seem to find any way for them to get attached. While I might enjoy a one-shot story of them hooking up, for a real serious story I find it hard.

The Bechdel test - I adore you. Just so you know.

But even more... you have made me love Luna. This is just magnificent, and... damnit, these stories should be an episode of the show. This is just too good. You just keep making this little trio more interesting, more fun, and enriching in every respect.

Endless applause.


Ahhh thank you.

I looked back on part two and realized... yes, they were together because they had man issues. But they seemed simultaneously chauvanistic (They were talking about their men literally like pieces of meat, specifically man meat, with Luna herself reducing Bad Apple's identity to a term of endearment about his member) and yet also extremely weak, shackled to their men and almost identifying their personalities and their very beings to them. So I wanted a story with no references to them at all. As a wonderful secondary benefit to this experiment, it creates a much richer identity for them all, with more indications of their preferences and tastes.

Woot another update.

*Roidpony* YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! */Roidpony*


Also, I SO look forward to the next chapter... you're going to kill me, as I keep telling you.

I should get on it. But I'm doing Voltaire 2 first.

Louis Armstrong and Pink, those were easy, Glen Miller not so much; that took me a good few minutes to ascertain.

We need PegEx, and we know just who to run it.

'While that was happened Lime had practically torn the armor off of her body' Needs a fix, confused tenses.

Interesting chapter we had this time, very nice change of pace.


Fixed the error.

And thanks. As I said above to Chatoyance, it was an experiment in passing the namesake test. So it was ALL about them and what they like and how they play and are entertained when not dealing with the men in their lives. Plus a bit of non-drunken fratboy smashing into each other.

I have a hypothesis, reading this increases my IQ in the same manner that watching Jersey Shore propagates stupidity. You write the most well written fanfic's that I've come across so far, in my eye's you've turned literacy into an art-form (although that could just be me being uneducated, looks that way to me though).

Also I think this and all of your fanfic's are grossly unappreciated.

So let me get this straight, Luna eats allot because being plump was considered beautiful back in her day as only the nobility could afford to get fat? And everyone wanted to be nobility/rich? I get that impression anyway (can I get a confirmation or something, I'm not that smart when It comes to reading inbetween the lines). Interesting.
Edit: sorry, I asked this before reading chapter 2 (where it was explained in plain English), I'm not retarded lol.

I'll say it again, this is grossly under-appreciated. I will find whoever disliked this :flutterrage: (seriously though, I hate to sound like a nag, but I bet they just couldn't understand the vocabulary).


I am a mere shell of greater beings like Chatoyance who had beautiful Middle English in her works. It suffices me to work in the relatively modern Elizabethan/Jacobean tongue. But I do my level best to make these works slightly more than the average fic, with some unique elements and witty turns of phrase.:eeyup:

Yea, you got it. She explained it both in this series and "Royal Hospitality" just with different emphasis. In this, it's a sociocultural lesson on history. In the other story it's about making her coltfriend hot and bothered.

I see you've read up to chapter two. I hope you enjoy chapter three. I've been told it's hilarious :rainbowlaugh:

I am reading this to Eldenath, and she is so enjoying it, as I did! She loves all things Elizabethan, and is just so happy with this story.


You honor me, and do not bury me. I suffered from a crisis of confidence earlier but now, with kind words and some cool grapes I'm much better. I aim to please the community at large.

Eldenath loved Swallow and his fiance, and adored how the trio stood up for them. She laughed so much at 'Cynthia' telling off the sleazy stallion - we both laughed out loud at that scene. I had forgotten how much fun this story was, and reading it to my love is such joy.


If you could only see me blushing :twilightblush:

I hope the next part pleases. I just became aware of the fact that it has passed ten pages and is over six thousand words. Wow. Sometimes I just stun myself. Noble seems to think it will be comedy gold based on the concept I explained to her. If it gets a chuckle, I've done my job. :yay:

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