Sunny Starscout was ventured far and wide and accomplished her dream of uniting the three tribes, bestowing a new era for Equestria.
But her hunger for adventure was far from complete. Just a few days after the ending of their journey, she huddled her friends and supplies to travel to the far west to uncover ancient ruins that were once a critical location to Equestria's lost history.
If her father's research was correct, the town's name was Ponyville.
FLUTTERCORD SUBMISSION DAY #2: Protection
Chapters (1)
I enjoyed this story! The idea of the new Mane 5 finding Discord is always an interesting one to me, and I like the idea of Discord living in Fluttershy's cottage, continuing her work of protecting animals. Everyone felt in-character, and you did a great job describing everything to set up the scene.
This was a pretty interesting story here so it looks like Sunny really wanted to discover more stuff after their Adventure and they found a cottage but it looks like it was abandoned except for the animals but when they got close a giant monster try to scare them off it looks like they have their guard up specially hitch but luckily the animals curiosity saw hitch some of the animals really liked him and once they found out these Ponies are not a threat it looks like Discord shrink down a normal size and Sunny knows him and there will be a lot of question about who he this was a pretty interesting one here and the characters were pretty in character keep up the good work and also yeah I've always like that theory that hitch Trailblazer related to Fluttershy because of that ability he has
This is a great start! I can't wait for the next chapters!
11132999
I don’t think there will be more chapters, it says complete.
11133042
Oh. It does. I'll just say that I can't wait for the sequel, if there will be one.
This is definitely a great start to something longer, but please, you have got to keep your narrative tenses consistent. You alternate between past and present tense like a light switch.
11133186
Yeah that’s something I struggle with. Is there a specific line that exemplifies that perfectly?
I hate all these stories.
They end right as they are getting good! YOU TEASE!
Keep up the good work but damn it stop ending them like this! XD
.....................Seriously? you end it there??? I mean I can give this story a up vote for whats there, but i really cannot favorite it if it just ends here with no conversation between them and Discord, doing so would just kinda feel wrong to me. no offense.
11133075
Ah, now I understand.
11133195
Sure, here— there's more before this, but this is an example in just two lines:
Blue is present tense, red is past tense. It's fine if you want to use one or the other—I personally think past tense is more widely...well, liked—but you can't use both.
Also, separate note: you've got 'Guardian' spelled incorrectly in the title.
11133466
Understand what?
11133535
I see. Thanks for telling me this. I usually use the past tense, but part of me wanted to emphasize that the story is taking place in the present, so I switch back and forth unconsciously.
Also, when I read your comment and the title, you had me like this.
11133642
Yeah, I saw you change the title.
You don't need to switch to present tense to emphasize that something is being done in the present. Just because you're using the past tense it doesn't mean that the events of the story are happening in the past. Unless it's specified in the beginning from the narrator's perspective that the events of the story aren't happening at that moment, readers can infer that the story is happening in the 'here and now.' (Of course, you could then have a story be revealed to have actually taken place in the past at the end of a story to completely alter a reader's perception of it at the end and make them think about it more, but that's something else)
11133683
Alright, thank you for your thoughts, man! Will make sure to keep that in mind for the next story.
Hope you'll stick around to see my future work.
11133697
I'll certainly keep an eye out. You've got a pretty unique cover art style, so you shouldn't be too hard to spot.
11133558
That you meant that you were looking for a sequel not more chapters
11133974
Oh.
Modern pones obsessed with ClipClop thots, "So where's Fluttershy?"
Discord, "I ate her."
Modern pones, "That's hot."
Discord, "I WAS JOKING! DAMMIT! This is why I stay locked in here all the time!"
"Yeah, thankfully the Pony Purists FINALLY exterminated them!" exclaimed a weird pony with a funny mustache.
Well what other explanation could there be for why a dozen other sapient species ALL DISAPPEARED, BUT PONIES DIDN'T? Be honest, the new show already wrote itself into a wall. The pones went FULL GRIM-DARK and committed mass genocide. Twilight proves to be Worst Princess, for under her rule, ponies became WORSE than in the 3 Tribes Era. Celestia kept the world at peace for a thousand years, in comparison.
(And this is why G5 should have had zero connection to G4. Then all these unpleasant possibilities wouldn't exist.)
GODDAMMIT! RIGHT WHEN IT GOT GOOD!
In all seriousness though, I enjoyed this.
Discord be like "You know I can hear you, right?"
I really liked the story. Although the ending was a bit harsh, although who am I to criticize the author
y'know
for something that's supposed to be fluttercord, there's a distinct lack of that here
and that makes me want more
When I got to the end, my thought was, "this is probably just the end of the first chapter, with more to come, but it would also make for a good end to this as a one-shot".
Then I check the story again; it is a one shot. Cool.
Discord: Well finally. Fresh victims!
? Thats it?
This left me craving more! Looking forward to whatever possible continuation you have in mind
i need a part 2 please.
11136153
Me too!
11134267
We were only shown a small portion of the world in the movie, and most of that (if I recall correctly) was in Equestria's west and north-west, one of the least specially diverse areas of Equestria; for all we know, the other species still lie just outside the now-collapsed Equestria's borders.
Also, there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for why the ponies haven't seen the other sapient species for so long; the other kingdoms didn't want to maintain contact with creatures that viewed them as beneath them, and if raising the Sun and Moon was no longer a purely Equestrian job (perhaps other species could use the amulet Celestia and Luna made for Twilight?) they would have no compelling interest to ignore that discomfort. If the ponies were still responsible for raising the Sun and Moon, they might've swallowed their pride and negotiated with them, but without that crutch the decayed Equestria's problems would become too much for the other species' relationship with it to be sustained. Think of the current situation between Russia and the United States; the average American probably hasn't seen a Russian national for several years, not because the Russians were all eliminated but because their government has made a policy decision to limit contact with them because of some of the Russian government's actions.
11136355 That might work in the primitive days with no long-distance communications... but, ya know, the ponies have tech now. It'd be like trying to hide the existence of North Korea in today's world.
11133366
Yeah it really feels like it's setting up for an arch instead of a one shot.
I'ma track just in case you change your mind ;)
11136590
Less "hiding the existence" than "choosing not to engage." A lot depends on what happened to the Equestrian population in the border areas between Equestria and the other kingdoms; if it dropped, either due to migration or death, it's entirely possible that Equestria simply hasn't had physical contact with the other kingdoms for years.
Of course, all of this depends on just how much Equestria fell apart; if the collapse into inter-tribal warfare was confined to the area seen in the movie, then the question becomes how much communication the fallen areas had with those regions that would still be in contact with the other species. On the other hand, if the decline in inter-tribal relations was kingdom-wide, then the lack of information would make more sense; Maretime Bay, Bridlewood, and Zephyr Heights would be small states preoccupied with local events, lacking the resources or interest to gather knowledge about species with which they'll most likely never interact.
Looks like Hitch may have discovered his ancestor!
Awwww it finished too soon, plz continue XD
A very nice one-shot, though I am not such a big fan of open endings personally. It gets good real fast but it also ends a bit too fast for my taste. It's also weird that Discord didn't make a comment while the G5 gang were talking to each other about him, to his face (For a second, I thought he had been isolated with animals so long that he forgot to speak).
Very good job! Thanks for writing this
OH COME ON!
Please... You can't leave it there!
I quite liked it, it was short but it was still very nice to read, it was a good one-shot
I would love to see what happens after this
please there needs to be more to r/this