• Member Since 19th Jul, 2013
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Eddy13


A major fan of FlutterDash, comedy, adventure, and other MLP things.

T

After indulging in too much soda, Pinkie discovers that she needs to use the bathroom. Unfortunately for her, there doesn't seem to be an available bathroom anywhere in the city.

Rated T for lots of bathroom humor.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 27 )

10529615
Actually, the main inspiration of this was Animainiacs "Potty Emergency". If it worked for Wakko, it can work for Pinkie. Glad you liked the story.:twilightsmile:

I see you're a fan of Rocko too

10530278
Oh, you caught the plumber gag reference, I see!:raritywink:

Fun fact, my previous story "Swimming By Moonlight", has another Rocko reference.

Made me laugh.
No idea why it’s got so many downvotes. It’s rather well written. The Flutterdash moment was especially good for a laugh but it sure wasn’t the only good moment.

10530309
I think the concept of Pinkie Pie using Sunset's closet as a bathroom, even though she somehow miraculously transformed it into one, has put a lot of people off.

Glad you like it though!:twilightsmile: Later on, I'll post an announcement saying I've changed my mind.

Nice, and didn't see the FlutterDash moment coming! Even had a Rocko reference in there too with the plumber. I knew that sounded familar!:rainbowlaugh:

10530768
Thank you for the positive words!:twilightsmile: Every time I hear this story get praise, it makes me feel better despite the large number of dislikes.

Oh my word, this was hilarious!

10530291
You should do a story where every room in Twilights house gets turned into a bathroom! That was always my favorite Rocko scene what do you think?

I received this message from another person who read the story:

YourUncleFuncle said:

I actually thought the story was pretty good, and I especially like a few of the reasons she can't go in certain bathrooms. Personally, I didn't find any of the humor all that bad (save for the Plummer thing which was done too many times and I didn't really even find it funny the first time) and I think it's pretty good all around, I just personally wouldn't have read it based on the premise alone, but the execution was far better than expected. Nicely done!

10535668
Yeah, I think the main putoff was the ending gag where Pinkie finally relieved herself.

I honestly thought that Pinkie somehow turning the closet into an actual bathroom would've mitigated the disgust factor. Guess I underestimated the factor.:twilightsheepish:

Hmm, I felt things went on too long, wearing out the welcome of the comedy (there's only so many jokes you can make around seeing water-related stuff). It could really've used some trimming down (stuff like ambiguously asking Big Mac for his "sister"). It would've worked better in 4k words than nearly 6k.
It's also very odd that sometimes it references Pinkie's intestines, when the setup and most jokes imply it's only her bladder at issue; did she have to fart because of the fizzy soda? If so, I feel it would've worked better to just have her let rip a little when talking to Rarity, as opposed to the very odd "felt her intestines do the same" (referencing her shouting).

Still doesn't explain the high number of downvotes. Probably just people who were expecting something short and sweet?

10535671
I doubt it was the ending gag, that's actually pretty straightforward Pinkie humor. Most people don't read to the end anyways with chapters this long, so I suspect that what really put people off was that things were dragging on around Rarity and AJ's parts, which had comedy that was a bit on the grosser side, but also I feel not as good as most of the rest of the story.

10538869
Well, sorry, I wanted to throw in every potty emergency gag I knew. I didn't want to get right to the bathroom problems right away because I thought it would be rushing. Sorry that it doesn't meet your standards, but thanks for giving your thoughts. And thanks for your opinion that the ending gag is okay.

Well made laugh once but I didnt find it too funny.

10540513
Sorry you didn't find it that funny. What part gave you the one giggle?

10540531
Don't remember off the top of my head, around the part with Rarity I think?

10540556
Well, that part did have some funny moments. It was most likely either Pinkie startling Rarity or Rarity implying that Rainbow Dash has a tendency to smash her door down when she enters.

10538869
Well, I did what you suggested and trimmed away some of the fat while maintaining the lines and jokes I really wanted to keep. How does it look now? Does it seem to flow any smoother?

10563332
It's really hard to evaluate something like this on a reread (there just isn't a lot of value from a second read), but it does seem a bit more streamlined from looking at some parts. The plumber needing his pants pulled up definitely still happens too much, and it still overall drags on too long. To look at word count...~5.5k, so I guess you removed about 300 words. I think you'd be well to remove another 1000.

10565224
Well, I took your advice and cut one of times it happened out. I also did a little cutting in other places while rearranging some gags, so hopefully, that will make it better.

This story deserves more upvotes! You have also inspired me to do my own "Potty Emergency" story using characters from DC Super Hero Girls.

10569232
:twilightsmile:
I'm not sure what's better: getting a new comment, getting an up vote, getting a favorite, or inspiring someone!

In any case, thanks!

10567808
You just needed to be a bit more aggressive with the edits I think.

Dead. :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Also extremely relatable. Poor Pinkie xD

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