- Member Since 19th Jul, 2015
- offline last seen Yesterday
SweetBanana
"A story is not a machine that does what you tell it. A story is a beast with a life of its own" - Alan Wake
SweetBanana
Joined 19th Jul, 2015 ·
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This isn't bad. It seems pretty good. I give it an 8/10
#2157127 for those that know.
RGRE?
It was a fun read, I admit. I enjoyed the slutty dialogue. Though I kind of wish the story didn't pander so much to Sandle.
Also, there is a section where the Italic was imputed incorrectly, and a huge section is slanted. Might wanna fix that~
Is this a sequel to something? As it seems like it just kinda jumps into the 'by the way the protagonist is in naked magicland and is friends with all the hotties now.' Feels like the story's missing a proper intro, I guess?
10500741
Essentially an Equestria where gender roles are reversed. I wanted to make a setting with that, but have it not be sexist.
10500745
A fair critique, my muse was focused on Sandalwood and to be honest typing more than 10k to include some other perspectives in a clopfic would have worn me out.
10500776
It wasn't meant to be a sequel to anything, but I did create an entire world for this story. I might release a standard fic that's not just for porn featuring Sandal in this world.
10500810
I love me some nude tree hugger, and that thumbnail is from camp natrurel
Oh my.
Good stuff, but this definitely feels like the culmination of an unwritten story. And between the Human tag and the "Even if we walk on two legs we’re still apes" comment versus the constant use of "stallion" and "mare," there's some confusion about the species involved.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed this for the most part, but some parts are a bit perplexing.
Also, you might want to re-write the blurb? As I just saw this pop up in the feature box: "where the women are large and the people are naked" kind of implies that 'women' are a separate category than 'people.'
I'm sure it's just an accidental bit of phrasing on your part, but definitely something to be aware of! One's got to write clop responsibly, y'know.
10502331
As far as I was aware, and is not an exclusionary conjugate. The description then says that the women are not small and that the people are naked.
Why did you immediately assume I was trying to exclude women from being people by saying they were large?
10501536
Again I had a whole thing planned out, but writing more than 10k was going to fry my nerves for this particular fic. So I just stuck with my muse. If you want, I'll write a story to go alongside this one! Might not follow Sandalwood, but it would explain everything about the place.
In this world they still call themselves stallions and mares, or that's what my muse demanded and I thought calling a partner a 'stallion or mare' while having sex would be hot. I can understand if that's confusing and I will gladly go through and change it all if you all desire.
10502384
I'm not saying you're TRYING to make it exclusionary, I'm just saying it can be read that way.
Like, there's an old joke in pony fandom: "All of my friends are here, and so is Applejack!" The gag being that Applejack is somehow in a separate category than 'friends.'
English is a funny language like that. It's just a weird bit of awkward phrasing to keep in mind.
This was a wild one I hope it has a sequel in the future.
Alright I edited it all, removed the mare and stallion bits as it was confusing to readers.
Excellent writing. The first 8k words nail the concept, but I'm not into secret butt fun, so the ending doesn't work for me personally. Also, simply stating "on contraceptives, and the government makes pregnancy ok" is a really glaring contrast to the rest of the story: it comes across as more of a PSA in the middle than a natural part of the narrative. I would have expected something like "shh, don't overthink it" or some kind of calm dismissive response. I really liked the first section which beautifully illustrated the concept of au naturale and going with the flow.
I love thicc wallflower, we need.more of her.
Didn't like it.
10810032
Dam, that was hot.
Well done, and I like how you had this unfold. Well planned out.
The Monk
"I was butt naked......and buff........and had white hair on my no-no region......." -Delta-Boio