• Member Since 19th Jul, 2015
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

SweetBanana


"A story is not a machine that does what you tell it. A story is a beast with a life of its own" - Alan Wake

Apr
18th
2022

State of the Author: April 2022 · 4:20pm April 18th

Hey! It's been a while, and I sorta took a little break from everything to get my mental health picked up. It was in the dumps January through February and March wasn't much better. But I have been getting therapy which is a huge help in decreasing the guilt and shame that I feel over what happened to me and the events of my youth. I've also switched to a new hormone regimen which is much more stable and doesn't have me swinging like a pendulum through the day.

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Feb
19th
2022

Why have I been suicidal? · 2:18am February 19th

You're probably wondering the title if you're in the know. I've had suicidal ideation and tried to tie a noose like I did back in the day. But couldnt remember how to do it and the belt sucked so I got angry and threw it out the window. And recently I stared over a four story balcony planning on jumping but couldn't psych myself to overcome that survival instinct of mine. So, fuck it. I might as well as say why. I can't hurt or be any more paranoid than I am right now so im going to say

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Feb
16th
2022

Pain · 7:36am February 16th

I am not writing this as a well-adjusted individual right now. If you are looking for the words of a sane woman, click away from this page and distance yourself as much as possible. What I am writing now is the ramblings of a she-beast, made half-feral by a cocktail of trauma, sleep deprivation, and neurotransmitters. This is done for purely selfish reasons, I want to sleep but I'm thinking too much.

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Jan
7th
2022

A year spent in the dark · 9:17am January 7th

So, 2022, a whole brand new year. This year is also the first year I got my first covid-19 shot. Why didn't I get it sooner? Well, you see up until maybe a few days ago, I was in a very dark place. A dark place I had been in for most of 2021.

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Dec
24th
2021

Small Update! · 8:25pm Dec 24th, 2021

So you've noticed that while I did upload a new story on Monday, I haven't yet uploaded the horror story or the new chapter to Mane Allgood. To be perfectly honest they're stuck in editorial review and at this point, I'll post them next week or at the end of this one. Maybe push the Mane Allgood Chapter out on Christmas so you all can read over it if you'd like. As for the horror story, I might add some more words to it, making it larger and more complete.

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Dec
14th
2021

Transition, Stories, and upcoming updates · 4:18am Dec 14th, 2021

So first things first! My transition is coming along swimmingly and I feel better than I have ever before, I have a bunch of lovely partners whom I love dearly and mean the world to me. I'm passing quite well even when I don't bother to do things like tidy my eyebrows or keep my makeup on, and overall I just feel great.

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Dec
13th
2021

Status Update: School and Tornados · 12:08am Dec 13th, 2021

Hello you all, as you've probably noticed I've not been busy much this year, especially since summer onwards. Long story short is that I'm in a new place and I was taking organic chemistry along with other classes. If you know anything about organic chemistry, it is an absolute timesink and ate up a ton of time that I would otherwise have for writing and burned me out on creative matters. But thankfully I passed the class with a high C while keeping good grades in my other classes, I even got a

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Nov
19th
2021

Just be careful · 11:25pm Nov 19th, 2021

I don't think anybody was surprised by the outcome of the trial, given the judge's obvious bias and the prosecution being bumbling morons(by design I imagine).

Its okay to be upset at it regardless.

Just be careful if you're going to go out and protest. The verdict's gonna inspire others to go out looking for protests to "defend themselves". Which is the real tragedy in this case.

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Sep
24th
2021

Financial Straits · 1:26am Sep 24th, 2021

So, since my last blog post on the matter back in Feburary, the donations that I received from you have helped me greatly. I'm now living on campus, medically transitioning, and in a much better spot.

It's not much, but it is my own little space.

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Aug
24th
2021

An update on me, what's been going on, and what will be happening · 1:50pm Aug 24th, 2021

So there's been some radio silence out of me for a while, and I figure I ought to give an update on how things are going.

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