Epilogue
The chaos dimension was an unusual place, as one would expect. None of the established laws of the universe really applied there, mostly because Discord felt they were superfluous. Chunks of land floated without reason, water tended to flow upwards, and stepping on the wrong blade of grass would make you sneeze (don't ask how that one works). Any creature not native to such a place would probably find themselves driven mad. Not because the sight of it was so illogical or mind-breaking, but because it was so confusing to navigate. Luckily, after some coaxing, Discord had been persuaded to cut off most of the entrances, meaning ponies or other creatures couldn't just wander into it.
Speaking of the lord of chaos, he was currently attempting to write another letter to Fluttershy, hoping to establish a time for their next meetup. He chewed on his pencil (which proceeded to make a squeaking noise) as he mulled over his words. When it came to Fluttershy, Discord always tried to get everything just right, cherishing his friendship with the introverted pegasus more than anything he possessed. Unfortunately, Discord was not the most poetic of souls, so expressing his feelings didn't come easy to him. He crumpled up his most recent letter and tossed it into the trash bucket, which was, of course, on the ceiling.
As he grabbed another sheet of paper to begin again, Discord was distracted by a knock at the door. This peaked his curiosity, as he almost never got any unannounced visitors. If Twilight or Celestia or somepony needed him, usually they'd just activate the summoning spell. He hadn't scheduled anyone to come over today, so he had no idea who was coming.
Putting his writing materials away, Discord snapped his fingers, causing the door to swing open. At first, he thought he'd been at his work so long that night had fallen. That is, until he saw the edge of the long black cloak, which obscured the figure's face. Underneath the cloak was a dark blue suit. Looking up into the cloak's hood, Discord saw a pair of piercing blue eyes.
"Oh, it's you," said the master of chaos. "Since when do you make social calls?"
"Since I have nothing better to do with my time," replied the cloaked being. "Come on, Discord, that's part of friendship. You should've learned that by now."
"Whatever." Discord didn't look happy about it, but he stood aside all the same, allowing the figure passage into his house. "Seriously, what brought you here? Don't give me that 'social call' nonsense."
"What? We haven't seen each other since before you were turned to stone the first time! Can't a guy just want to catch up?"
Discord's expression was one of sheer disbelief.
The figure sighed, his cloak ruffling as he pulled a floating chair down to the floor. "Alright, you win. I wanted to talk to somebody about a...deal I made."
"The deal that sent Mr. Swift Wing to Equestria?" inquired Discord, pouring his guest some tea.
"It was that obvious, huh?" asked the cloaked one. "I know it would've been more 'interesting' to just dump him in Equestria in his human form, but he wanted to fit in, and...y'know, he asked nicely."
"Did you actually come to me to ask about whether or not you did the right thing by offering him that deal?" asked Discord. "Because you'd be better off talking to Celestia."
"First of all, Celestia doesn't even know I exist. And I'd like to keep it that way. Second, I don't regret it. He's actually doing okay, if you're interested."
The cloaked figure raised one hand, and his index finger popped alight with fire. He drew a circle in the air with the flame, and in the middle of the circle, a window appeared, projecting an image. Inside the image, Swift Wing hovered above an assembly line of clouds, bucking each one as it passed him. A lightning bolt struck lanced downwards at each buck, but if the cloud failed to produce the electricity, he pulled it off the line and stuffed it into a vat.
"He made it to Cloudsdale, got a job. He seems to be doing alright."
"You still sound doubtful. So tell me: Why are you here?"
The cloaked being sighed to himself, closing his blue eyes beneath his hood. "Okay, maybe I'm not completely sure of myself." He folded his hands together. "Look, the kid had a hard life. I watched him for years before I offered, trying to see if the circumstances beyond his control would get better. They didn't, so I gave him the chance to start over. Some people really need a completely new environment in order to thrive. But be honest, Discord: Did I do the right thing?"
"What makes you second guess yourself?" asked the draconequus.
"I guess I sort of underestimated just how bad his problems were," admitted the figure. "I thought maybe, since he knew the show, he'd just go up to Twilight and confess everything, but he didn't. I thought he'd let them in, and he'd get better from being around them. But he assumed they'd judge him, that everypony would judge him. He won't let a single living thing inside."
Discord nodded. "It's enough to make even me feel empathetic. I've never really met the guy, and I can tell you, he's got issues."
The cloaked one's blue eyes glared at him for that. "You might be a little more sensitive, Discord," he remarked. "I mean, it's true, but still. The question remains: did I do the right thing, sending him to Equestria? Did it really make a difference in his life?"
Discord thoughtfully scratched his beard. "Well, why did you do it in the first place?"
"I just wanted to help people who deserved better than what they got," admitted the cloaked being. "People pray and hope that something better will come along, because their mental problems sap all their energy and make it hard for them to fix themselves. I thought, if I gave them that push, put them in a world where maybe they'd be happier, they'd snap out of that funk." He looked sadly at the image in the portal. "But Swift...he's still sick. He's got so many problems, and I have no idea how he's gonna fix them."
Discord shrugged. "Look, buddy, I'm hardly the expert, but you did everything you could. If we could just magically take the pain of living beings away, you know Celestia would've asked me to start doing that. And besides, like you said, the kid's doing okay now. He's starting over somewhere no one will figure out what he really is, meaning that he won't have that imaginary obstacle to deal with, at least for a while."
"Yeah, I guess that's true," sighed the cloaked figure. He got back to his feet. "Thanks, Discord. I'll leave, I won't make you serve me stuff."
"Thanks," replied the master of chaos, snapping his fingers and opening the door. The figure stepped back out into the wastes of the chaos dimension, cloak swirling behind him.
Discord walked back to his desk, pulling up another sheet of paper, but the muse still hadn't struck. Curious, he snapped his fingers, recreating the projection mirror from before. An image of Swift Wing appeared in the center, flying alongside several other pegasi, pushing clouds towards the weather factor. Discord placed his lion's paw on his chin, thinking.
"I'll have to keep an eye on you, Swift Wing," he muttered.
Somewhere in Cloudsdale, Swift Wing looked out across the sky. He had the strangest feeling someone was speaking about him.
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A good story overall and an interesting ending.
Would love to see a sequel in the future, where the mane 6 arent the focus of the story, like other certain stories
10315499
Also well-said.
If the Mane 6, Starlight, Celestia, and Luna just lay down and did everything Swift wanted without even considering "Could this guy be wrong?", this wouldn't be much of a story. They weren't exactly OOC when they tried to get Swift to think about it.
I can probably see a sequel stemming from this story, considering how the conversation went between Discord and "The Merchant". Although... I can't see Swift Wing completely avoiding the Mane Six, after all, one is a Wonderbolt who still has Weather Duties with which the Purple Pony Princess can use to keep an eye on him (a small deviation from the show's main storyline with the potential to create larger ripples in the Canonverse, something of which Swift Wing was trying to avoid).
A sequel feels appropriate.
But not absolutely necessary.
If you decide to make one I'd be interested.
10321478
Same here, I will be waiting for one!
Thanks for making this story!
I'll be honest and say that it was shorter than expected. When Swift had his confrontation with Celestia I thought it was just the start, but instead it was the climax. As you said, a potential sequel would be about Swift living his life away from the Mane 6, which makes perfect sense and I thought that that's what I was in for.
Now, that said I personally really liked the ending. It's interesting to see things wrap back around with the clocked figure and I also like that being transported to Equestria didn't magically fix Swift's issues. It's an interesting and believable angle.
Don't take the first paragraph as a negative. In fact, I'd say that it's a positive because I think I'm usually pretty good at figuring out what is going to happen based on the pacing of the story and you managed to fool me completely. Well done. I really liked the story.
Very nice. As I predicted, and hoped for, a fantastic ending that didn't drag on too long, or cut itself short. It said what it had to say, and then bid us farewell. I think more TV shows could learn from this.
Leaving on a good note looking upwards, yet still leaving an optional path for more if something interesting could happen.
I enjoyed this story very much.
The story is definitely capable of a sequel.
Of course, I'd rather your heart be in it, than have one forced out.
I certainly would be interested in it if you do decide to write a sequel. It has been good fun reading this story.
for just a quick throw together story this is really good.
if a sequel ever happens i will be reading it.
Well, That was a good story.
I cant wait to see what other ideas you can bring us.
The Monk
“On her doorstep was Twilight Sparkle. While Derpy deeply respected the mare, like most in Ponyville, they wished she'd either switch to decaf, or start hitting the harder stuff.” -Dan_s Comments
Good story. I look forward to what you come up with next.
To be honest, if you can't think of anything interesting it might be best to just leave it as it is. I've enjoyed this story a lot though :)
You did good merchant man, you did good.
Probably.
Ah, an author not falling into the usual trap of success: putting chapters after chapters even though the original big problem is solved.
you wanted swift to be a generic pony living a happy simple life and he got it, no over drama, no world threats to deal with, no character obsessed with him.
Just a man who wanted a change in life, he got it, when he was threatened to lose it he got mad but pulled himself together.
this is a very satisfying ending, sequels ? why not, we always want to see more of everything, even if sometimes less is more.
In any case I really enjoyed this story, it was a nice read.
Like the story the ending wasn't to my taste I wonder who the mysterious man is
10323019
Thanks. I'm gonna try and edit it now, maybe get it good enough that Equestria Daily will accept it.
10337515
Oh, I know that and I agree with you. I was just trying to warn the author against falling into a common writing rut.
I try to serve two unofficial functions here.
1) I try to prevent bad habits from getting out of hand and spreading to other authors and
2) I archive the top work here so that when a fantastic story is deleted because an Author is depressed or fed up with the comments, that story isnt lost. 20 years from now, when no one remembers MLP at all, there will still be stories by Dan_s Comments, Reykan, Darthvalgaav, and yes even Some Leech and Nosfrat, in print on a dusty shelf somewhere for someones grand kids to read.
The Monk
“Heat? isn't that when... I took a whiff of air when I smelled a smelly smell that smells smelly.” -The Kitsune
10337801
My own writing tends to be meme-worthy, but then I'm doing it deliberately. I'll even work well-known memes into the narrative just to see if anyone will comment on it.
10178205
It's true that in a HiE fic, your average brony would know material which is HIGHLY classified by the Equestrian government. At the same time, that same brony would likely have an unwavering loyalty to the Equestrian state, especially if they admit that information in private. Security around the element bearers is already lax, and they're just about as much of a national security liability if questioned.
One thing is true though: that human would be a high-value target for other nations, and would be questioned so hard about whatever they know about our technology.
one of the best stories i've read in a while i think a sequel would be very fitting, For me and most of the other readers see Swift wing work out his problems would be very nice
I like this quite a lot, but it feels empty without a sequel. There is no closure. This needs a sequel, badly.
I like this story, but I worry that any kind of sequel might ruin it.
10349555
Then show me a portal and there I go~ XD
This story still has a couple of loose ends and I would really love to see a sequel but it’s up to you. But I would like to see him finally face his problems and that excuse of a sister too.
10416012
Not really a big fan of DC, but I'd believe it. Though you've got to wonder where DC picked it up? I think I read up on it once and saw that there was science backing up a universal resonance, but I don't remember. I'd like to believe that fringe got it from science, but getting it from a Flash comic would make sense, even if I don't like it.
10430734
Except it's inescapable. He'll be either judged as fake personality or real one, his joice. Result in case of fake actually maybe even worse if he'll get tangled in this lie. By creating false legend he accidently may set off red flags worse than issues he have in reality.
Sometimes people get in break down over this and commit suicide after living such life. It's stressful and lonly way to live. Because even if get "friends", you're still alone.
Phobia of prejudice, essentially lack of self esteem is a serios disirder which should not be catered to, it's destructive.
8/10 very nice story! Hope you write a sequel.
10585999
The translation has been completed with the prologue and the first chapter, here is the websit：
https://fimtale.com/t/22434
Thank you again
10756909
lol i made this comment like 2 weeks before i started reading them.
thanks tho
love this story man :D it was really good
10822099
Thanks. And thanks for the follow.
11023572
Don't you just hate it when you go on a complete editing binge and you still miss little mistakes like that? Regardless, thanks for pointing that out.
11116440
Fixed!
Good enough story, I liked the pacing, it wasn't too fast or too glacial like these things tend to be. First time reading a "Human transforms to pony" story. I don't really get it, but I guess it's not my cup of tea fantasy-wise.
Ending feels a bit rushed, but good story overall. Would've been better if we get a real glimpse of Swift's life in Cloudsdale before the story ends, but as it is is pretty good. Now, onto the sequel.