Chapter Twelve: Good-Bye
Swift Wing sat on a single cloud, hovering over the town of Ponyville. He'd been using the cloud as a bed for the past two days, and thankfully, no one had come to get it. His disposition was one of abject indifference, as well as frustration, trying to find some reason to get up in the morning. Recent events had, naturally, put him in an undesirable mood, to say the least. He'd barely spoken to anypony, barely eaten or slept, and had felt adrift in an ocean of uncertainty.
It was the second day since his conversation with Twilight and the others. He hadn't gone back to Hard Hoof for work, unwilling to face him after the letter he'd left. He'd entered the town to get food, and thankfully, Twilight and the others hadn't seen fit to inform the entire population that there was an alien living among them, so he could go about his business.
Speaking of Twilight and the others, they hadn't approached him at all since the incident, for which he'd admit he was grateful. His dreams remained unguarded, but he hadn't heard from Princess Luna, either. Swift sighed to himself as he mulled over the nightmare that would ensue when they inevitably did come for him again. They would keep hounding him until he finally went back to that hell he'd called a life back on Earth, and he'd never see Equestria again. Equestria, a world so much happier and pure than where he'd come from. Plus, nobody there would know to judge him over past mistakes. So why couldn't they see that?
Swift pounded the surface of the cloud in frustration. It just wasn't fair. Watching the show, he'd grown to truly love the characters, wishing that they were real. And when he'd been given the opportunity to actually enter their world, the idea had thrilled him to his core. Just the thought of meeting them made him feel a vast surge of joy in his heart. He wasn't an idiot, he'd known not to let himself get too close to the six, realizing he could blow his cover. But even that hadn't worked, in the end. And while they hadn't forced him to go back, they had pestered him about it, and they clearly didn't want to be his friends. Granted, he probably hadn't helped his case with his anger, but it still wasn't fair.
Swift looked up at the sun, trying to think of what to do next. Did he want to go home at all? Probably not, considering the chewing out he'd get from his sister the second he showed his face. Even his mother would probably yell at him. Not to mention he really had nobody. Nobody would go out for drinks with him on Friday nights, nobody wanted to talk with him about books he'd read or movies he'd seen, it was empty. Sure, he didn't have that in Equestria, not now, but here, he at least had the possibility of finding friends.
Granted, he probably wouldn't find anyone with shared life experiences in this world. Not until after he'd lived here for a while and truly experienced life in Equestria. Connecting with others had always been hard for him, as was opening up. It was a difficult thing to do when you were of so little value to the world. Would he really be happy in this world? Or did his true nature mean he'd never belong here either?
Gritting his teeth, Swift decided what he had to do. There was no going back to Earth. That planet held nothing for him. But he clearly couldn't stay in Ponyville, either. There was only one other option, but he'd take it.
Swift spent the next few hours hopping between Ponyville stores, grabbing items with the bits he'd saved up. He took maps, books on hoof travel across Equestria (taken from the bookstore, as the library was kind of a lost cause at this point), some outdoor survival guides and equipment, and food that would travel well. Fortunately, all this stuff managed to fit into his saddlebags.
The worst part was trying to get through the town without being spotted by the Mane Six. Not that they seemed to be looking for him or anything, but they were spread throughout the town, and it was difficult to go out without bumping into one of them. Especially Pinkie Pie, who seemed to have specifically chosen today to go shopping for party supplies. Swift managed to avoid her by diving behind buildings and trees, and fortunately, her Pinkie Sense didn't alert her to his presence.
Finally, with everything he needed, Swift made his way to the north outskirts of Ponyville. Turning around, he took one final look at the town, sighing quietly to himself. It felt odd to just leave without saying good-bye, but it wasn't like he had anyone to say good-bye to. He shifted, preparing to—
"MARK! MARK!"
Swift groaned. That was just perfect.
He looked behind him, finding exactly what he expected: Princess Twilight galloping towards him. In her magic, she held a bright pink envelope. She came to a stop just in front of him, pausing and taking several deep inhalations, like she was out of breath. She'd clearly been running around town, and Swift could guess exactly what she'd been looking for.
"I was afraid you'd left town or something!" Twilight panted. "We've been looking all over for you!"
Swift gritted his teeth. Why couldn't they just leave him alone? Were their lives really so boring that they had to follow him around trying to force him to go back to his home universe? Did they just hate the idea of a human living in their world that much? The only thing he wanted to do right now was spin around and give Twilight a good punch in the—
Taking another deep breath, he calmed himself. Attacking one of the princesses of Equestria wasn't going to get him anywhere. In fact, it would probably only make them angrier at him. He had to at least try to play civil, if only to avoid making the situation worse.
"Did you need something from me, Twilight?" he finally managed to get out, though it still sounded rather curt.
Twilight used her magic to pass the envelope over to him. Swift took it in one hoof, peeling the seal open and pulling out its contents. Inside was one of Pinkie Pie's signature invitations, proclaiming that he was invited to the "We're Sorry We Were So Pushy, But We Welcome Our New Human Friend" party. Swift stared down at the piece of paper in his hoof, honestly surprised at what he was seeing.
"Everypony's been trying to find you to give you one of those," Twilight continued. "They all want to apologize to you face to face, and since nopony's seen you, Pinkie thought you could use some cheering up. What better way to do that than one of her parties, right?"
Swift bit his tongue. This...wasn't what he'd expected at all. It looked like they might...actually accept him. Let him stay in Equestria without pestering him. He'd never even considered the possibility after that night. Did this mean he was home free?
Swift swallowed as his heart began to beat faster. His front hooves began to itch, the way his palms had when he'd been a human. Fear raced through his system. This was just too good to be true. It was as simple as that.
"Celestia and Luna wanted to come, too, but they couldn't take time away from royal duties. They send their apologies, anyway, and they hope that someday they can...Mark?" Twilight finally noticed the pegasus beginning to shake. "Are you alright? You look like you're gonna be sick."
With a great deal of effort, Swift managed to look into Twilight's purple orbs once again. "Um, thanks, Twilight, but I'm actually leaving town right now." He gently placed the invitation on the ground. "I really appreciate the offer, but—"
"You're leaving?" Twilight asked, looking perplexed. "Where are you going?"
Swift looked out behind him. "I...don't really know," he admitted. "I was thinking about checking out Cloudsdale, maybe, now that I can fly. And I—"
"But why are you leaving?" Twilight asked. "I mean, we left you alone after we were so rude the other day."
"Twilight, I—"
"Is it too soon to throw the party? I'm sure Pinkie can push it back, the food will refrigerate."
"Twilight—"
"Were we really too pushy? I promise, we won't do it again. We won't even talk about your home world. We'll just pretend you've always lived in Equestria!"
"Twilight—"
"Are you just afraid to see us again? We know you, the real you, from all the talks we had with you before this went down. Mark might be an odd name in Equestrian society, but—"
"TWILIGHT!" Swift bellowed, silencing the fast-talking purple alicorn. "Look, I'm grateful, but I'm leaving, and that's final. And please call me Swift Wing."
Twilight stared back at him, a confused frown etched upon her face. "But I...I don't understand. We just want to make it up to you."
Swift gritted his teeth and snorted. "Well maybe you can't!" he suddenly shouted. "You ever think of that?! That maybe somebody doesn't want to forgive you?! That maybe somebody doesn't want to be your charity case?! That...that..."
He came to a stop, seeing the genuinely hurt look on Twilight's face. The alicorn was trembling, wings shaking, and her eyes appeared to be on the verge of tears. Swift silently cursed his short temper, wishing he had the self-control to keep his mouth shut.
"I'm sorry," he hastily apologized. "That was uncalled for. It was the heat of the moment. I shouldn't have said that, you girls are just trying to help."
Twilight recovered a little bit at his apology, stepping forward again. "It's okay," she assured him, "but please tell me why. I just want to understand what we did."
Swift sighed, trying not to let his irritation show for her sake. Twilight probably wouldn't prevent him from leaving or anything like that if he refused to answer, but she didn't deserve to be left without one.
"It's not truly your fault," he said, "I need another fresh start. I came to Equestria because I wanted to begin again where nobody knew me, or what I was. Now that you know all my secrets, know everything about me...I just can't fit in here in Ponyville."
"But we won't judge you," Twilight insisted. "We know you had a hard life, we won't—"
"Consciously, you won't," Swift cut her off, "but you'll have that knowledge in the back of your head. And every time you girls look at me, you'll be reminded of that. And some part of you won't accept me because you know those things. You'll know I'm not good enough to be your friend."
Twilight blinked several times in surprise. "You actually believe that?"
Swift nodded.
Twilight shook her head sadly. "Mark—or Swift, whatever you want me to call you—you don't like yourself very much, do you?"
"Well, no," Swift admitted, "But—"
"Is that why you're discarding your old name? Do you honestly believe you're so pathetic that you don't deserve friendship, so you have to lie to everypony about who you really are?"
"Oh, come on, you know that's not what I meant—"
"Swift, you need some serious help. Your self-esteem is shot, and you're convinced no one would ever accept you just because you made mistakes. You need friends, and ponies who will support you."
Swift fought to keep himself from growing angry again. "And I'm not gonna find that here!" he snapped.
"Why are you so convinced of that?!" Twilight demanded.
"BECAUSE I'M AFRAID!"
Time seemed to come to a complete stop. Swift hadn't expected that to come out of his own mouth, and from the looks of her, Twilight hadn't either. Her eyes were still focused on the pony in front of her, but filled with pity. Swift wanted to lash out because of that, to be furious again, but couldn't bring himself to do so. As much as he hated receiving sympathy, he had to admit Twilight hadn't done anything that warranted his rage.
"Doesn't that make you feel better?" she asked. "To admit the truth?"
Swift shook his head. "It just reminds me how broken I am." He looked into Twilight's sympathetic eyes once again. "I'm sorry, but I'm not ready to face that."
Twilight tilted her head, looking rather sad. Swift sighed, but he'd truly accepted what he'd said to her. Ponyville was no place for him.
"I get that you want to help me, Twilight," he continued, "but you can't. You really can't."
Twilight stared at him for a few seconds, before she closed her eyes and nodded, though clearly not without reluctance. "If that's what you want," she replied, "I won't force you to stay here."
Swift nodded, before turning on one hoof. But before he could trot away, a thought occurred to him, and he looked back at Twilight over his shoulder.
"We may not be real friends, Twilight," he said, "but for what it's worth, I consider you a good...acquaintance. And I thank you for trying to help me. Even if your efforts were doomed. Maybe someday...I'll feel good enough to come back here."
That said, he spread his wings, and took off, flying into the distance. As he ascended, Swift blinked a few tears from his eye.
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With the chapter title I thought he was being sent back home at first glad I was wrong
The guy have serious problems, is not that twilight can't help him, he doens't want to be helped, and that is the reason he will never be happy in this new world, he just ditched half of his problems by comning to equestria, the other half is inside of him, and will follow him forever until he accepts himslef and let other ponies help him.
Nooo! A sad outcome!!
Keep up the chapters and hope it’ll get better!
mhmm, mhmm, yes, looks like my oc but without a horn...
Yeah not thtilledwith this chapter. Running will NOT solve anything
He dissed the Pink!
Well, he's in for a world of hurt, now!
Next chapter: "Pinkemania"
And moving to Cloudsdale isn't going to protect him!
New reason for that GRIMDARK tag.
He wanted a fresh start. What he has in ponyville simply isn't fair. He knows too much about them that they never experienced together. It's like he spied on their lives. They also know more about him than he is willing to share. He wants a fresh start. That is not in ponyville.
What I don't understand is why twilight didn't give him a couple hundred bits to start over, or at least offer it. It's truly the least she could do.
Well this is... I feel bad for Swift. I wonder if he will ever face the problems within him, or if something will cause him to face them. I'm definitely going to be following up on the next chapter. Excellent work Boltstrike.
Do you have any kind of plan when you write these chapters?
This one seems like a slightly rushed addendum to last chapter, rather than a chapter of its own.
That's personal taste
10295773
Not a very conveluted plot, now is it?
Now let's lean back and see how many chapters and experiences it'll take Swift and co. to figure that one out.
10295896
Running away might not help now, might never.
But sometimes getting some distance, both temporal and spatial can be a place to start.
What is it about this chapter that makes you dislike it so?
Bruh I bet they woulda forgot he was even human within weeks
I didn’t think he was actually gonna leave. I thought he’d be convinced at the last second to stay. Curious to see where the story goes next.
I see nothing wrong with this chapter.
They simply wont leave things alone. He is right, they will only see him as damaged and pitiful. Several have said that he needs help. Yes and no. Sometimes people do actually need a fresh start. Sometimes they simply make the same mistakes, sometimes they actually make that fresh start work.
Either way, you cant make a fresh start when everyone around you keeps you looking at your past and keeps spinning you around to face behind you when all you want to do is step forward.
In my opinion, they have proved they cant let his past go. He really is right, if he stays, he will be that sorry sap that everyone will talk about in whispers. Half the town will fear him as an alien, the other half will see him as something to be sorry for.
Not a place to start over.
I recommend a large city. Easy to get lost in a huge city and blend right in. I hear Las Pegasus is nice. Lots of work, casinos, etc. Since most head cannons have males being in the minority, he could easily get a job in a strip club, even just serving drinks.
The Monk
“maybe one day she’d get someone willing to pay hundreds for an apology gift for her. Hopefully it would just be an apology for forgetting an anniversary and not one for assaulting a member of a dinner party. Amethyst didn’t want that much excitement in her life.” -Dropbear
Oh
MarkSwift, you won't escape your problems by running yet farther away. You carry them with you, in your mind and in your heart.I don't know enough to judge his actions regarding leaving behind his family on earth. But if this is any indication maybe it wasnt as bad as it seems? Yes the six did push him to go back. To be honest I don't see anything wrong with that, especially when you think about it from their perspective. Like Twilight mentioned earlier they don't really know him very well. There's always the chance that he could have come for some nefarious purpose. But this is Equestria, where sticking it out and making connections with others solves almost everything. And now here's swift doing the exact opposite. In the end the Equestrians didn't force him to go back (which was incredibly generous of them by the way), they were willing to do what they always do, forgive and forget. And how does Swift react to that?
"It's not enough, you made a mistake (from Swifts perspective at least) and I'm not even willing to give you the chance to make up for it".
Sometimes crap happens. Nothing you can do about it. What matters is how you react to it. What I've seen here makes me think that when the going gets tough, Swift is NOT someone you can rely on.
Also, this isn't a criticism of your writing author. In fact I'm rather enjoying the story at the moment.
10296507
Wow I didn’t think it like that. That’s pretty deep
wow heavy
10296726
There is a very old saying and its just as true today as it was when it was first coined.
"It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to talk and remove all doubt" - Maurice Switzer 1907
Im just wondering what kind of story this is going to turn into. Im hoping it gets back on track.
The Monk
“Her hands were still bound with rope, she debated an escape before all the stupidity gave her an aneurysm.” -Scarheart
10296507 Agreed. I previously said that He'd been pushed too far, and that they wouldn't be able to make it up to him. Part of me is still annoyed at the ponies for pushing it this far, but the rest of me is pleased that the author followed through on the consequences, and didn't wimp out with a big makup scene.
It isn't even out of character, for avatars of friendship the Mane Six can sometimes be stunningly heedless of other people's feelings.
Though the guy does need mental help. He needs a course of therapy with Dr Wolf to help him reinvent himself, and maybe he'd start to like the person he's become enough that he won't let the past poison it. If he truly wants a new start, he needs to let go of the past.
10297668
I don't know, He seemed to be doing really well when he first got there. Melded into the society fairly well, had a plan on getting up to speed with both history and flying. Gained friends who he met for lunches, etc. Made close acquaintances who helped him with suggestions and other minor misc. things. Seems to me that he was doing very well.
Im curious to see where the writer is going to take us from here.
The Monk
“To say that Twilight Sparkle went bugfuck would be like saying the Incredible Hulk had some mild anger management issues.” -DustTraveller
Looks like our boy got serious issues, but he doesn't want to face them. Mark wants a fresh start, but what it seems he really wants is to forget everything about his old life, forget his pain, and just have a do-over as Swift Wing.
In short, he's running from his issues because he can't face them yet, which he even admitted. That can work for a while, but sooner or later there will come a time where you can't run and must put in the work to face those issues. Problems like Mark's won't solve themselves as you run from them, and no fresh start can fix that, but just delay it and buy you some time.
i am finding this story to be vary intriguing.
i will be watching for more of mark / swift wing.
I suspected this earlier, but Mark refuses to let others in, views help as pity, and frankly believes himself worthless. A single mistake destroys his esteem, and he holds others to the sane standard.
He may have pushed away those who tried help him, to be his friends on Earth, calling it pity, which feeds into his esteem issues. He doesn't realize he's trapped in a self-fulfilling prophecy.
As for this new life...if he thinks he's unworthy of friendship, how does he plan to make friends?
Friends want to know you and your life, will he simply disappear when they ask about it? How far will he go to be anybody....but himself?
That's some kind of utter stupidity on MC's part. How they can accept him without knowing who he is. They are accepting a lie, a fake personality... Or , likely, he'd just be a stranger.
10316826
A little thing called prejudice. Although in this case, since it was something that could be hidden, it’s not so much “pre”judice. Nevertheless it happens all the time. Subconscious judgements and actions taken. The way you speak to someone, look at them. You may not feel like you’re judging someone based on what you know about them, but you are. It’s part of being alive. Making quick judgements like that can save your life. Maybe not so much anymore, but before modernity, it was helpful. In this case it was more harmful than helpful
Yeah, 'cause it worked so well last time... *Glances over at Celestia, who's petting her timberwolf*
Bruh, that made me shed a few tears
10296507
Plus despite making it clear why he wanted to here they couldn't stop pushing for him to go back. They really don't understand what no means. They should have dropped it the first time but they were like a dog with a bone and refused to drop it till they got the message that they were being rude.
10297731
Yeah he was doing okay till twilight butted in. She never thought that maybe he didn't tell anyone because he didn't want them know. He was was fine. And considering none of them have verbally abused over and over again they shouldn't make judgments about his life. He made it clear why he left and they ruined it. Maybe one day he would have told them about his past but they couldn't understand it because equestria isn't that bad for all its flaws.
10297731
Yeah he was doing okay he might even gotten help for his issues caused by his family if they hadn't insisted on butting into something that wasn't their business. Once they knew he wasn't dangerous or able to tell any secrets about equestria they should have learned to live with 5 path he chose for himself.
10301103
I see it as him not exactly *unwanting* to open up, but more that he wants to establish life first before anything. Sure, he eventually needs to confront his past and accept himself for who he is, but the first step for recovery is actually getting to a position where he can recover. He was so happy that that boss of his cared so much for his hard work; that's what he really wants, just some appreciation for his being.
He's a product of years of domestic abuse. Sure, he needs to eventually stand up and face his past, but you don't solve a problem this critical by forcing him to do something he's not ready for. Like any other medical condition, you apply first aid before going for the deep operations, and in this case, letting him have his alone time and start a new life is the first aid he sorely needs.