Damaged
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FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Been working on this one as a twice-monthly commission for quite some time. Canary (the person paying for it) asked that I start publishing.
So here it is. Enjoy!
—Damaged
PS: This story has nothing to do with Dana's comics. It is strictly MLP and Earth.
Is that... the unicorn comic lady?
9793615 Yes.
Interesting first chapter and premise, not so sold in the whole age-differential thing.
Trackin', as I love these type of tales.
It is 'your', not 'you are'.
I am faving this, and will be waiting for the updates to come.
9793619
what's the other tag for? too many characters to list?
if so, we gonna see any m7 in this story?
9793643 Fixed, thanks!
9793657 I tag for the majority of the story's contents, and while there's a LOT of canon characters going to show up in this, none of them are central parts of the story. The
Othertag is because I am going to be using a lot of such characters.9793668
so too many characters to list, gotcha
9793668
You're welcome!
Off to a great start. I really like First Contact stories, so it'll be interesting to see this take on the Second Contact story.
Also, well-established and interesting human characters? What are you trying to write here, a good story?
Wait, wait wait... Will we be running into Marigold Heavenly Nostrils?
I want to ask questions, but it turns out that they're all about rectifying MLP with MHN. I never thought I would see this, and I'm literally giddy with joy.
Heck. Favourited.
Now this, this is going to be a hoot.
the most unbelievable thing in this story is the pony's its how nice the president of the us is
Clever lad, that rig could easily run into the thousands with the truly extravagant components.
Oi! Saffron, don't forget your power supply! They don't have as advanced an electrical grid, you'll have to bring your own.
9793816 No. There's no
Crossovertag, and I wouldn't presume to touch on Dana's world.9793885
I stand by my enthusiasm. Just know that my perception of the behaviour of unicorns in this world will be altered.
9793904 Fair, but isn't Celestia basically already Marigold? The eccentricity? The *heavenly* nostrils? Their love for fine dining?
9793929
The grumpy sister?
9793933 See!
Following this. Not favoring it... yet. We'll see how it goes, but looking good so far.
9794192 All I can promise is that there will be a LOT more ponies soon!
Phoebe and Her Unicorn? I see you're an author of culture as well.
There's something delightfully disconcerting about a girl calling the president "Uncle Jeff."
"There was a king, but he exploded."
"Though not having to deal with fingers is a welcome change of pace."
In any case, definitely looking forward to seeing where you go with this.
Literally all of your justifications for the AU tag sound like mere headcanon. Like, undoing the "cartoon resolution" problem and saying that the ponies have the same physical resemblance to their canon portrayals that the Simpsons do to real humans is already something you have to do unless you're okay with ponies being creepy, the series makes a lot more sense if Earth Pony magic is a thing (you could even use it to explain Pinkie Pie by studiously ignoring that her EQG counterpart pulls exactly the same kind of stunts), and Granny Smith says that having been around for centuries isn't an issue even if you aren't all princess-like.
Oh I recognized the art style, Ozy and Millie was one of my first webcomics I found after getting Internet access in the early 2000s.
And I am hooked for the story the first chapter made me hungry for more of this world.
9794828
So canon Equestria has established relations with other dimensions?
And by alluding to Equestria Girls you've closed off the last avenue to call this an AU. At the very least, it has fewer divergences from canon than your last story. (I originally meant that to be talking about the one your current avatar is from, but it still applies to the Cheesy trilogy)
9794857
The "other dimension" in question is the EQG-verse that they really ought to get around to establishing proper diplomatic relations with anyway. Between that and Twilight's ethereal mane, all I'm seeing is logical extrapolations of what would happen after the show ended, which in my eyes don't warrant an AU tag.
9793859
To be fair, this is implicitly the guy who came after the current incumbent, and at the very least explicitly not Trump.
Another story by Damaged, always worth a follow.
Pegasus magic, it's quite the rush if you're not prepared for it.
Did Twilight actually change on exposure to earth's atmosphere? She obviously didn't explode when she went home.
9794872
trump is a category 5 asshole but honestly i dont know a president that was this nice, for example Obama has the world record for kill bots
I don't think there's anyone who really understands the expressions of Twilight, Maybe Spike or Starlight
Question for Saffron: What do you think about Jeff?
9795551
Alternate universe tag.
I'm not certain if this is the sort of question that you can answer, but:
There's an old saying that if you're bad you go to hell, but if you've been really evil, you get a tour of heaven first. Having experienced Equestria, can Frank Hollings readjust to plain old earth? What will be the long-term psychological effect? Does Clair have the leeway to hire him on to her embassy staff? Won't someone think of the man-children?
41 likes, 10 dislikes...
I'm often baffled by the ability of certain authors to accrue downvotes on good stories.
9795715 Well, I have a downvote fairy following me (all my stories get a downvote in the first minute or two of posting, no matter the length—think 16k word story gets a downvote in a minute of publishing), but apart from that I can respect that some people don't like HiE, and others still just don't get how a fic with M+Sex tags can not be porn.
No clue. I just write stories and leave people to their opinions.
I fell down a flight of stairs while laughing.
Ask Saffron: Does he know if electricity, let alone internet, exists in Equestria? The best rig in the world is a paperweight with no juice.
Well I did address a comment to Saffron in the last chapter, though it wasn't a question per-say. Don't know if that counts.
9795801 It needs to be a question.
9795861
Ah, noted.
Pretty sure you don't want the underlined word there.
Indeed so.
Now that's interesting. Is it just Claire growing accustomed to the purple magic horse, Twilight physically adapting to the lower magic environment, or a mix of the two?
Can't argue with that logic.
Makes sense. The girls' phones ceased to exist when they crossed through in "Spring Breakdown" along with most everything else... though I think this technically makes Sci-Twi's glasses a potent magical artifact. Which may actually work, given Midnight Sparkle. Hmm.
By extension, it also works given that Twilight didn't transform in this world. If this portal doesn't provide clothes one way, why would it take them away when going the other? (Well, it makes sense for magic, anyway.)
Pony's a hell of a drug. Looking forward to seeing how the family handles that initial rush.
9796525 Ack! Pesky bee! Fixed the stray not.
Hope this gets updated soon sounds like it’s just getting to the good part
9796885 Your command is my wish.
Whoops.
As soon as the age difference was brought up, I knew this was coming.
The imagery this chapter was hilarious. I just keep thinking of two sleepy little foals strutting around, carrying rifles that weigh half as much as they do.
And no wonder Hollings felt amazing, he literally had the body of a teenager again!
Well now, I guess Sparkles missed something!
I’m glad to see somebody else takes on the concept of the fact that we don’t know the lifecycle of the ponies like My Life-as a Bipedal Quadruped author thought up. In that 32 in pony years may be different than human years and also makes the ~64 candles on RD’s B-Day cake make more sense
Bringing their entire family over just like that? That doesn't seem very wise, when they don't know anything about what this transformation will entail.
Also given a few warning bells have been set off for me, I have to ask: Is this a Conversion Bureau story?