• Member Since 4th Jan, 2015
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Damaged


Just a pon who likes writing.

Comments ( 715 )

This is pretty amazing. I can't wait to read more.

Spacecowboy
Moderator

Okay, yeah, this is pretty amusing, and without requiring too much, you've painted a rather nice picture of her character thus far.

And dear lord, already the mares are swooning over 'him'.

This shows a lot of promise. Do keep up! You've earned a like and a follow, maybe a fave depending on the next few chapters :twilightsmile:

Question though, how it Twilight's voice? Because I doubt she be easily confused with a stallion with the same one of the cartoon.
And how big is her? Shining Armor sized? Or more like a rather petite buffed boy-toy? If every mare shall swoon to her, we must know details! :ajsmug:

Enjoying thus far, will be tracking.

8245981
If she's been training with a spear for years, she's probably bulked up some. Regarding voice, there is a bit of a gray area where genders overlap.

This should be good.

Why is this rated M?

I'm already laughing my ass off about Twilight being a bro to her fellow guard ponies. Will we see more of this?

8246009 It is rated M because the things that will be happening will have adult undertones that I don't feel comfortable having in a T fic.

Ah, R63 Dusk Shine. My favourite.

This looks very entertaining. This is going on tracking to see where things end up.

So Twilight's a trap? A reverse trap? A faux-reverse trap?

In any case, it's glorious!

8246021
Aww, rats!

...Cloptional side story, please?

Oh dear god...:rainbowlaugh: I can sense many a moment when I laugh my ass off in the future, with this fic, I can safely say.

This is going to be interesting

Really really interesting. I must have more. Can't wait for the next chapter.

it means the guards are.... what exactly?

Harem Twilight with the other Elements and it's NOT Rule 63? Where the fuck do I sign up?

This. Is. Fantastic. My mind is RIDDLED with possibilities for this tale. I eagerly await your intent for the definitely-not-but-maybe-kinda-sorta-male-but-not-really Twilight Sparkle. I shall read on!

Craine...

Ohohohohooo the fact that everypony thinks twilights a dude is going to be fun, especially when everypony finds out she's a girl!

Calling it, only Pinkie will get Twilight's gender right. This sounds like an interesting premise.

I'm very impressed with the way you anticipated and solved a potential plot-hole with regards to why Applejack would mistake Twilight for a stallion when one factors in that she should have an easily identified feminine scent. That's some skillful writing to close that up before it ever becomes an issue, and it deserves a little recognition. :twilightsmile:

I hope the whim to continue this strikes and strikes often, I'm very intrigued by this new twist on the series origin story and would love to see where the tale will go.

I guess Twilight has a stallion's voice in this.

This gets my like. Wait, fuck that. You get all the likes I have.

This certainly has my attention, my only complaint is the chapter isn't longer.:raritywink::yay::pinkiehappy:

oh i cant wait to see the see applejacks reaction to twilight being a mare XD

I'm guesing that Twilight's armor is made to hide how she looks or sounds, just like many in the fandom belive.
That would be why no pony - outside the guard - think of Twilight as a mare.

This is great. But what does Twi sound like, cus if it were like the show, I KNOW Applejack wouldn't have mistaken Twi for a stallion.

Already shoowning over her. Wonder how important that's gonna be in the plot: I don't know about you, but if everyone thought I was the opposite gender and were swooning over me/otherwise making my job harder,I'd get pretty annoyed and fed up with it pretty quickly.

8246266

If it's Guard armor, it's very likely enchanted to make her look like any other Royal Guard.

Including the voice. Twilight's very much likely sounding like a Dusk Shine at the moment...

Thanks for the kind words everypony, I'll try to respond to what I can...


8246243 Her armor is not special. It is uniquely heavy (like all armor) and she has been wearing its like for many years now. Every day is leg day.

8246205 Then I need to write more! :twilightsmile:

8246195 She has certainly been using her voice more in this, so I would think it would be a little more developed, not so much deeper as fuller. She is very used to being around adult stallions, and would have adopted patterns of speech to match (as I tried to show).

8246187 Pinkie is a cheat. She bypasses plot points and just gets the important bits, but doesn't use them properly (thankfully).

8246169 Not planning to harem this, but there will be allusions to most of her new friends finding Twi very attractive; she is in the Royal Guard, after all.

8246156 Those guards are likely going to spend a lovely evening talking about flowers (and their gathering) with the flower ponies, I would guess. :moustache:

8246099 Maybe it needs a new term... tryp?

8246035 Not sure if you intend that to mean "R63 Dusk Shine" or not. Either way, thanks! :twilightsmile:

To those I missed, thanks for the kind words. Have fun!:pinkiehappy:

:pinkiehappy: That was fun :pinkiehappy:

"Bet yer'd like ta gallop over and—"

- "Bet ya'd..." might fit better. "Yer" would be a fit for "your" or "you're". Example: "Get yer flank over there!", "Yer gonna regret that." :ajsmug: Of course if Fritter's accent's as fake as AJ's then it's all good. :ajbemused:

8246278
I do think the others would suspect something if her voice sounds a bit like a mare if you know what I mean

8246278
I'd guess he ment a r63 (gender swapped) Dusk Shine, who is the r63 version of Twilight. So the Twilight who acts like Dusk Shine?

8246338 :rainbowhuh:

Yeah, I think I got it. Fun fact: I dislike the R63 names greatly; pony names, in the pony 'verse, are already fairly gender fluid.

Now this is my kind of story.:twilightblush:
I like how this is going. idk, but I keep think about the movie mulan:twilightblush: I hope the next is gonna be good. Keep writing man. :pinkiesmile:

I have been wanting more 'Twilight is a Royal Guard' fiction and I now have this. This is looking AWESOME by the way!

8246278
8246338
Guys. It was a joke. R63 Dusk Shine is R63 R63 Twilight Sparkle. Two negatives cancelling each other out, y'know?

8246347
Gleaming Shield a cute, and your opinion is invalid.
A CUTE.

So, this is not R63 but a mare that looks like a stallion. Somehow, I can see Pinkie and/or Rainbow knowing Twilight's a mare and still trying to sleep with her.

Question for Twilight's mother: What was your initial reaction to your husband wanting to enlist your daughter into the Royal Guard?

8246278

Not planning to harem this, but there will be allusions to most of her new friends finding Twi very attractive; she is in the Royal Guard, after all.

No clop? That sucks. I hope the action and comedy makes it worth it though.

8246452 The repeated allusions towards naughty are the reason for the M tag. T with Sex would have probably fit, but this also gives me more leeway.

this oughta be interesting i wish it had clop but interesting nonetheless

So, uh, I assume Twilight's mare bits are hidden under the armor, correct?

8245992
And to be fair, Tara Strong has voice male characters before.

8246500 Also, Derpy's VA originally voiced her with a male voice, because she thought she was a stallion.

Point is, Twilight's voice is a little more gruff than usual, and given her stature and how she acts she gets seen as "just another Royal Guard."

8246504 I don't plan to have actual sex in it.

Lunno, this struck me as very...lazy.

The premise isn't something particularly new or imaginative(not saying that in itself is anything new) and just strikes me as either 'lol omg Twilight harem now pls' or 'Everyone reacts to badass Twilight'.

I can't say I found anything worthwhile in the entire chapter to make me want to stay and was quickly turned away from the story by the fact no one pointed out how Twilight's voice is rather high pitched for a stallion.

Maybe I'm just over analyzing a comedy story.

Maybe I'm salty as fuck at shitty stories in the feature box.

Anyways, can't give it an upvote, nor does it deserve a downvote.

Login or register to comment