• Member Since 21st Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen 10 hours ago

Grimm


Mostly harmless.

Comments ( 20 )

I hate this story. I love this story. This is beautifully done, one of the best things I’ve read on this site—no, one of the best things I’ve read anywhere in months. Between this and Red you’re quickly becoming one of my favourite writers.

I need some time to process this one. Order my thoughts. I want to review it further, honestly. Thank you for this. As someone who has been in a similarly doomed circumstance, it helps as much as it hurts.

I want to hate this but i can't! It's written too well ! That being said it makes me sad, i think im going to have to go get a nice drink now!

Lovely... in a way...?

Really nice take on a relationship story. The different perspective was also really well done. Thought it was very good over all and enjoyed reading it.:twilightsmile:

9381499
Thank you, that's very kind. This was a bit of a weird, experimental one for me (I've not really done any first person stuff here before, for a start), and I wasn't really sure if people would respond to it. I'm glad people seem to have liked it!

My favorite ship :raritystarry: Thank you!

Jesus.... Words can't really begin to describe the feelings brewing inside me. It was good.. No, great. Twisted, but almost as if its something that I can somewhat relate to. Wonderful, twisted, and almost dark in a way, but kept my attention all the way through till the last word.

Bravo.:yay:

9381997
Grimm makes me feel feelings, the harshest of the harsh

Love you and your work, mate!

I love it when a happy ending kicks you in the gut, don't you?

Poor Vinyl. One day yo u might find out what happens when strings get cut.

That was a grand slam in the strained relationship fics department if I ever did see one. Vinyl's actions were really more of a gamble than a well thought out plan. For all she knew Octavia could've drowned in that mare's personality. But I admire her resolve in it. I feel that their relationship is inevitably doomed though, sure they're in a good place now because of the plan and Octavia's mistake, but unless I read wrong, whatever was straining their relationship in the first place hasn't really been addressed, it's going to come up again.

As for Vinyl's scheme... I'm not really sure what to think. On one hand it was underhanded, but on the other it's not like she wanted to harm or blackmail Octavia, whom herself if responsible for choosing to cheat... Such a mixed bag.

Lastly, do you think you'll ever write from Octavia's perspective with regards to the mare? Would be interesting to actually read everything from the mare's prominent introduction to the smooth flirting to what exactly happened or was said in the afterglow moment that brought Octavia to tears ... Though if not I could settle for you just telling us what saucy thing that mare whispered in Octavia's ear :trollestia:

Th-This s-ship i-is so S-Sad!:raritydespair:
But in a good!

9382382
Thank you! I definitely meant to leave a lot of this morally grey, and Vinyl is a proven unreliable narrator so there's even more potential for stuff that got left out regarding their relationship and Vinyl's actions. As for the Octavia thing, I definitely don't plan to do anything like that. Emphasising a separation between them was a big part of why I wanted to write this first person, and I think showing Octavia's perspective and filling in the gaps Vinyl doesn't have access to would weaken that.

Very interesting story about Octavia and Vinyl Scratch! I have read quite a few stories centered around how their relationship began, but this stands out in showing how they dealt with a separation. I also thought the overall structure was unique; kind of unconventional but it served its purpose in giving us bits of information to slowly see the "entire" picture.

Realized I have loved quite a few of your stories, so decided to follow you after reading this. Look forward to what comes next!

Oof. Yeah, that's a gut punch. You tend to create these hopeless relationships, Grimm.

9383600
I don't know. I mean it did work, but Vinyl did go out and pick the worst example she could find, it doesn't mean Octavia couldn't find a pony who was in her class, but not so far down the snob spectrum and have a pretty decent relationship. Not to mention Vinyl could've misjudged the mare and this whole thing could've blown up in her face. Heck, what if some girl who was actually more like Vinyl had beat the mystery mare to the punch and Octavia had a good time, realizing that it's not so much the difference in their class that was the problem, but that her and Vinyl just aren't working out.This was a nice read, but I found Vinyl's plan to be very myopic.

This story sure is... Something. I think I love it, but right now I'm not sure how I'm feeling :unsuresweetie:.
It's really well written though.

Oof, this story is emotionally draining. It feels very raw (story-wise, not the excellent writing), watching these two who may love each other but are struggling in this poisonous relationship.

I guess if I had to give some constructive feedback it would have been nice to see more of their relationship's downfall, before it's clearly doomed. Though that messes with the really cool way you've arranged the scenes in this story, so I can't say it bothers me.

Great story!

9396137
Thanks!

Funnily enough, showing more of their relationship before the bar was the original plan, but the story changed as I was writing it as it always does and became something else. I think it was as I got more into Vinyl's perspective -- she wouldn't want to dwell on that time, or talk about it, and so she kinda steers away from it when she can. She presents her story in a very specific way, both because she wants the reader to sympathise with her actions and because she wants to show them that it worked. That she's happy now, or at least thinks she is. And I think if she were to talk more about the relationship falling apart around her it would weaken her own argument and emphasise problems that aren't so easily fixed, so she doesn't.

Login or register to comment